Hey-o, and welcome to my Lil' World of Weirdness!!

I state for the record that I don't own Gundam Wing, or the wonderful characters that will be gracing this story. . . I do however lay claim to Ensign Saratone *again*, and I use him here purely as a replacement for your average Nameless OZ Minion. Hm,usual warnings . . . but it's not like anyone reads this bit up here anyway so . . .

Oh, and timeline . . . uh, yeah, WHAT timeline?! Both the Eypon and Tallgeese is still in service, and Zechs flies both of them regularly . . . okay? I know, I know . . . it doesn't follow cannon . . . but when the HELL have any of my stories ever followed cannon?!

Okay, that's the legal stuff out the way!!

//Thinking//

"Speaking"

*Stress/Emphasis*

~*~

**Gundammit!!**

By Doctor Megalomania

Chapter 12: Not Nice Dreams At New Barley Base!!

"You know . . ."

Doctor J leant back in his creaky sun chair, and stared out over the oceans. He lifted his Magical Cherry Blossom cocktail and swirled the light pink liquid in its glass. The little purple grape in the bottom bumped off the tall glass lazily, as the old man's claw moved in the air in lazy rotations. He sighed from behind his sunglasses, and looked over at his comrade in booze. Professor G's nose poked out from under the massive Mexican sombrero he'd purchased recently. The old man was breathing very heavily, as he lay sleeping in the hammock. It was tied to the tree that Master O was reclining against, his massive arms folded behind his head. He wore a slight smile on his face as he snoozed; a White Rabbit cocktail with coconut shaved over it to make it look like snow on top sat melting beside his slumbering form. Over on a neatly laid out blanket, Doktor S rolled over slowly, so not to make his new tan uneven. Instructor H nodded once to the tall, dark haired waiter - with such dark blue eyes that he reminded J of Heero – before the pointy moustached scientist turned to J.

J supped at his drink before nodded, "I'm slightly worried about our boys . . ."

H raised an eyebrow as S mumbled sleepily, "Slightly?"

"It's very little." J clarified, "It's more a general sense of unease . . ."

"Unease, you say?" H slapped on some more lotion, "Seriously?"

"Well . . ." J supped at his drink again thoughtfully, "It's more like . . . restlessness . . ." He nodded, "More like I should be there to give Heero a helping hand . . ." He nodded again and sucked at the purple grape, "I mean this is a time of hardship for them . . ."

G yawned sleepily, and waved at an irritating fly slowly.

". . . And we as their elders, dare I say that we are even like fathers to them . . ."

Master O reached out lightning quick, and snapped the fly out of the air with his Kung Fu styling.

". . . So that really comes to be that we really should aid and guide them through this time, when it feels like everything is against them . . ."

G grunted his thanks and pulled his comically oversized sombrero down a little further. Doctor J motioned the waiter's attention, and waved his empty glass in the air. He lay back, and crossed his legs at the ankles, "But I'm sure they're fine, and there's nothing to worry about . . . besides, I've made arrangements for us to have some Hula-hula lessons . . . Grass-skirts gentlemen?"

"For God's sake, Gundam Pilots, do something!!"

Lady Une ordered as she glanced between the Gundam pilots and Wing who was aiming his buster rifle straight at them. She frowned deeply, "Do something now!!"

"Heeeeeerooooo!!" Relena clung to the man's neck, "Save us!!"

Heero tried to give the woman a withering glare but this effect was ruined as he spat out a few strands of blonde hair, and concentrated on typing again. Next to him, Duo and Trowa typed frantically, as Quatre and Wufei talked into microphones.

"Gundams, stand down!!" Quatre barked into the headpiece, "We are *not* captured, repeat we are *not* captured." He glanced at his own image on the screen, the Gundam staring out impassively for a moment before frowning.

Sandrock's Zero System was active and glowed all around him, "Pilot Zero Four is attempting to make contact, as is Pilot Zero Five." He sighed, expression still icily blank. "Zero One, ascertain, pilots under duress?"

Heero glanced over at Wing, the giant mecha was still aiming at them, but its head tilted. He spat out some more blonde hair, and blew a lock of it out his eyesight. Wing appeared to nod, and his cheerful version of Heero's voice rang out, "Pilots appear to be acting of free will."

Everyone held their breath and glanced up at Sandrock. The Gundam nodded, "Zero Three, disrupt all communications with OZ."

"Confirmed." Zero Three's voice cackled as the Gundam started to work. The five screens fritzed, and buzzed with static.

"What's happening?" Treize asked, as he glanced between the Gundams and the screen.

"They're cutting off your intrusions." Trowa stated calmly as he sat back and lifted his fingers away from the keyboard so Wing could see the movement clearly, he glanced up as the image of the cold Quatre blinked once, and zipped out. Heero shook his head, and sighed. All the status reports frizzled from his screen at once. He looked up and stared at his Gundam, as the massive beam rifle lowered slowly.

"We're safe . . ." Heero murmured, as the four other Gundams resumed their positions, and Wing continued to peer in. He sighed as he blew yet another lock of Relena's blonde hair out of his mouth, "For now . . ."

Three hours later. . .

"How much longer is it going to stand there . . . and why aren't any of the others moving?"

Treize glared at Wing. Wing glared back.

It was becoming rapidly clear that Treize - much as he hated losing - was going to lose at this staring match. It could have been the face that Gundams didn't need to blink, but the OZ general appeared to be giving his best, manful shot at it. The Gundams hadn't moved an inch. The people in the control tower had worked frantically to get the connections back, and various, nameless workmen worked on the windows, replacing them. Treize growled gracefully and walked up gracefully to the window, his graceful patience running out. He gracefully opened the window, and gracefully leaned out, and then ungracefully swore as the Gundam blasted its loud horn at him.

***BAAAAARRRRRRRRPPPPP***

Wing tilted its massive head adorably. "You know I'm kinda warming up to the Wingster. . ." Duo grinned around his mug, and closed one eye as he felt a cold gunmetal barrel press against his head. "What? Don't you think Wingster is a cool nickname?"

"HN!!"

"Hee, hee, hee. . ." Duo chuckled, and blinked as Wing started to tap the windows. The giant mecha continued to stare inward, as he tapped the window thoughtfully. Duo got up and went to the window, he sat in the sill and frowned up at the mecha, "What is it, Wing?"

Wing remained stationary, as the pilots and the others walked closer to the window for a better view. He tilted his head and stared at each other them before lifting his hand again. The massive Gundam raised a hand and pointed at Treize. Treize frowned, and stepped back, "What?"

The Gundam tilted his head and resumed tapping the glass almost contemplatively.

Treize gulped again and hissed, "What is it doing?"

The Gundam's attention snapped back to him, and tapped the glass so hard it cracked under the pressure. Wing extended his 'wings' and floated onto his feet, running, yes, running back to the others. Zechs frowned, "What in the hell is it doing?!"

Heero growled, "I'd like to know that too . . ." He glared as his Gundam motioned the others closer, Heavyarms and ShenLong nodded and moved in, Sandrock glanced at Deathscythe who still appeared to be off, before joining the small group of Gundam mobile suits. What's up with my Deathscythe? Duo murmured wonderingly, as Wing straightened, and paced over to Deathscythe. Wing appeared to talk to the taller Gundam. Deathscythe stood there motionless, staring straight ahead.

"I think we can safely say where Heero's personality ended up . . ." Duo grumbled, "Great . . . now I have to put up with the perfect soldier in my Gundam!"

Wing tipped its head back again, staring at the sky.

"He's thinking." Quatre murmured, then glanced at each other pilots before settling on Duo, "You do that when you're trying to think of something . . ." He blinked, "Right?"

Duo grinned widely, "Then perhaps it's not so bad, if I have to put up with the Perfect Soldier, the Perfect Solder's gotta put up with me!!" He grinned, and clapped Heero's shoulder, ". . . Right, Heero?"

Heero growled threateningly. And yet, didn't remove the hand.

Outside, Wing's head fell forward again, and he extended his wings again, the massive Gundam wrapped his arms around Deathscythe.

"It's hugging him?!" Noin gaped, confusion reigning on her features, "What the hell?!"

Wing held on tightly as Deathscythe turned its head slowly towards it. The Winged Gundam didn't notice that the Deathscythe's thermal scythe had ignited. Quatre frowned, "Uh oh . . ."

The motion was so fast no one was expecting it; Wing stumbled back as Deathscythe started to attack him. The Winged Gundam quickly manoeuvred out the way as the irate Deathscythe went after him. Hey! Duo growled as his Gundam went after Wing ruthlessly, "That's not fair!!"

Wing pranced out the way, easily moving out of the way as Deathscythe ran about trying to hit him. Zechs sighed, feeling a migraine coming on. "What's with them now?"

"Sir, Sir!!" Ensign Saratone yelled from his station, "I'm picking up signals from them; they're talking to each other!!" He turned to his panel and twisted a dial, the speakers filling the room with sound.

"Zero One, stationary!"

"Zero Two, non-compliance!"

"Zero One, STATIONARY!!" Deathscythe roared, as it swung its scythe again.

Wing appeared to sing his response again, "Zero Two, compliance result damage."

"Zero One. . ." Deathscythe paused, then nodded, "Target achievable."

"Zero One, Zero Two . . . Unproductive activity. Cease."

Noin ran over to the panel, "What was that new voice?" She demanded, and looked up to see ShenLong stomp forward and try to stand between the two.

"Zero One, Zero Two . . ." It spoke again, "Activity unproductive. Cease."

"Zero Five." Wing floated behind the dragon clawed Gundam, "Receiving loud and clear. Repeat message: Zero Two."

"Zero Two. Cease unproductive activity."

Deathscythe became still but raised an arm and pointed at Wing, "Zero One, result damage. Render unrepairable!"

Wing manoeuvred up, and floated in front of Deathscythe, "Zero Two, message recorded, played again. Target: Non-achieved."

"Zero One . . ." Deathscythe warned, "Render unrepairable!"

"What are they saying?" Relena wondered aloud, "I don't get what they are saying. . ."

"It's in the simplest terms . . ." Trowa murmured, he lifted his hand and pointed at the Gundams, ". . . 'Zero One, stay still'," He pointed to Wing, "Then he said, 'I can't do that', and then it was 'Stay still!', 'if I do that you'll kill me', 'that's bad because?' . . ." Then he pointed at ShenLong as the Gundam moved forward to keep the peace, "Then he came in and said, ' this is a pointless battle', then Wing said, 'I know that but tell it to him', Nataku repeated the message, and frankly . . ." He sighed and nodded to Heero, "He said 'I'm going to kill you'."

"Just like the Perfect Soldier," Duo muttered, he looked up as Deathscythe ran after Wing again. "Aw, hell . . . They *loved* each other before!! Why are they at each other's throats?!" 

"They aren't exactly like us anymore," Quatre nodded, "It seems not only have the scientists wiped the Gundams' memories but now . . . Deathscythe has all Heero's single mindedness, with your fighting method. Wing has all of Duo's cheerfulness, but also Heero's lack of . . ." He trailed off and blushed slightly, "No offence Heero, but all your lack of human understanding . . . he's like a child, he mustn't realise he's causing Deathscythe real anger."

"I wish he would . . ." Wufei murmured, he nodded out the window, Deathscythe's swings are getting more and more serious.

Just as the words were out of his mouth, Wing flipped itself over Deathscythe and floated behind it. It clamped its hand over Deathscythe's eyes, and almost sang delightedly, "Zero Two, ascertain identity!"

"Guess who . . .?" Relena murmured, almost sorry for the childish Gundam. She closed her eyes, "I can't watch!"

Deathscythe raised its scythe, and jabbed it hard into the other's body. Wing went crashing away, slamming straight into a building, it looked up only to get a stunning kick to its head. Wing reeled backwards. Satisfied it had caused enough damage to Wing, Deathscythe stomped back to where it was, and resumed looking like it hadn't done anything, not even moved.

Wing sat on the ground, and stared down, "Zero Two . . ."

There was a noticeable non-answer, as the channel was opened, and then hung up on.

"Zero Two."

Heavyarms walked over slowly, and leant over, "Zero One, confirm status."

"Zero Three, Status confirmed. Damage repairable."

"Zero One. Status Received." The orange Gundam straightened, "Zero Two. Confirm status." There wasn't a reply at all. Heavyarms helped Wing to its feet. "Zero One, avoid situation."

Wing looked from Heavyarms, then to Deathscythe, before stomping over. The blue and white Gundam extended its wings and floated in front of Deathscythe. "Zero Two. Zero Two. Zero Two. Zero Two. Zero Two. Zero T—" the repeating calls were cut off, as Deathscythe lifted it's piecing rocket launcher to Wing's midsection.

"I . . ." Heero frowned, "He can't do that . . . Wing just doesn't understand. . ."

"Zero Two." Wing began again, "Zero Two. Zero Two."

Wufei felt a growl build, "Doesn't he realised he's going to get himself killed?!" 

"Zero Two. Response required." Wing stood there, seemingly unaware of the load rocket pressed against his midsection. "Zero Two."

"This is horrible!" Relena cried out, "Just horrible! Duo, do something about your Gundam!!"

Heero glanced at his long-term partner, Duo looked helpless as he gazed at his Gundam. "I . . . I don't . . ."

"Zero Two." Wing shuffled closer, pushing the rocket harder against its midsection. It dipped its head, and leant against Deathscythe's shoulder. "Zero . . . Two . . ."

There was a quiet intact of breath from everyone as the two Gundams stood still, Deathscythe was motionless for a few moments, the rockets still visibly powered up. Heero felt a growl build in his throat, even he knew that this was . . . was something that went against some unspoken code, they were comrades, they were the same side, it wasn't right that the Gundam cut the other down for being friendly . . . His right eyebrow slammed up with the force of the realisation, and reached over to slap the left for not understanding . . . wasn't that the way he was with people who tried to do that for him?

The three other Gundams were unmoving, although ShenLong was fidgeting, Heavyarms was shaking its head slightly. Sandrock just stood and observed.

There was a pause before a communication channel was opened, and left open.

Treize waved his hand at Lady Une absently, "Who . . . who is it?" He was too gripped by the tense stand off to move a muscle. It was a battle for honour that had to be watched!

Lady Une glanced down long enough, "It's Zero Two's communications . . . but there's no message."

There wasn't any need for one, as Wing lifted its head and stepped back. The blue and white Gundam spread its Wings and floated back a little as Deathscythe dropped its rocket arm. The massive black and gold Gundam stared at Wing, before looking away again. Wing landed and started to walk off slowly, its back to the God of Death.

"What was that . . .?" Noin asked, incredulously, they didn't even say a word, and Zero One's just walking away with his back to someone who would shoot him.

"Zero One."

Wing slowed to a stop, as Deathscythe's cold, quiet voice filled the room.

"Render unrepairable."

Duo nodded, and folded his arms, "Just like Heero . . . incredible."

"Similarities Pilot Zero One confirmed." Wing replied, and manoeuvred, swaying side to side delicately, as it muttered matter-of-factly, ". . . Of proportions out of range."

The tension left everyone feeling like a wet sack of sand, Treize lifted a hand to his eyes, "The Gundams are out of their minds . . . whatever possess them to attack each other like that?"

Zechs stroked his chin, "Of my experience; I know the Gundam pilots are pretty intense themselves maybe—"

"Hey!" Duo blustered with irritation, "Don't talk about us as if we're not here!" He growled and turned to look out the window, Wing was knelt down again, staring in. "And you, buddy, need to get sorted out!! What in the hell did you . . .?"

The Gundam tilted its head sweetly, and lifted a hand up to tap the window. Duo seized the opportunity immediately, to rant away at the sorry looking Wing, "What's got into you?! You nut! Didn't you realise that he . . . Wait!!" Duo steamed, his face turning very red as his rage boiled, "DEATHSCYTHE GUNDAM!! HAUL YOUR SORRY ASS OVER HERE!!"

Everyone, including Heero gaped as they watched Duo, the normally carefree God Of Death, lecture both massive Gundams, seemingly unaware that not only could both kill him in an instant, but also that inches from him was an arsenal able to vaporise his particles into very, very small, tiny to be exact, in fact, so very small, tiny doesn't seem to be the word to describe how small the Gundams could have blasted Duo into, I mean, I'm not even sure if miniscule covers it, does it? What about diminutive? No, wait that's the word that is used for midgets . . . midgets? YES! The Gundams could have blasted Duo in to particles so tiny, so very, very, very, very small, that normal sized particles would have called them midgets, in fact particle midgets would have called his particles midgets, so in fact they would have been particle midget midgets . . . but I digress, suffice to say that Duo was almost certainly staring into the open jaws of every particle midget midget's nightmares.

"You don't play games like that!! And Deathscythe, save yourself for battle, like ShenLong said, that was a completely worthless battle, you've wasted resources and time on something that could have been spent on a mission!!" He growled helplessly, and stuck one hand on his hip, while shaking a finger to the two, "BAD GUNDAM! VERY BAD GUNDAM!!"

Wing dipped its head apologetically, "Pilot Zero Two, penitent. Assistance required?"

"Huh?" Duo blinked as his own Gundam crouched beside Wing, and nodded slowly. "What did you say?"

"Pilot Zero Two, penitent. Assistance required?"

"I . . . don't understand what they are trying to tell me . . ." He turned and looked to the others, "A little help?"

Trowa frowned slightly, before murmuring, "He said . . . he's sorry, if there is anything he could do to help . . ."

"Oh . . ." Duo looked up at the sorry Gundam, then at his own, "And you? What have you got to say for yourself?!"

Once again, Deathscythe opened a communication channel, and said nothing.

Duo tipped his head back and glared at the sky, thinking. "Why me?" He began, thinking aloud, "Here I am stuck once again with the perfect solider, only the perfect solider is trapped in my Gundam which is just great, because I have to worked with it everyday, and now for the rest of my life which might not be all that long, I'm gonna have to talk to the perfect solider . . ." Quatre giggled quietly, as Duo continued, "Man, this is going to be harsh, it's taken me years to break in Heero, just think how long it's going to take to break in Deathscythe . . . in-cred-de-ble! Aiya . . . why me?" He repeated, shaking a fist at the heavens as if the Scientists, who had been responsible for all of this, were above and watching every moment, which they probably were, "Sheesh, let me tell you one thing, it took me absolutely ages just to get the man to remember my name, and not just to call me, oi-you-the-one-I'm-going-to-kill . . . not that he didn't call everyone that . . . I mean the man was a complete bast—"

Quatre gasped, and snapped, "Duo!"

"--ille." Duo completed politely, "A Bast. . . ille. A Bastille. The Bastille. A French place. An annoying French place. Where they put people. People who were annoying. The bastille. An annoying French place, where they put people who were annoying. A bastille. A complete bastille. Heero was a complete bastille."

Treize's mouth slid open with shock, "How long can he go on like that?"

Heero sighed under his breath, "A very long time . . ."

". . . in fact, let me tell ya this, it was damned hard just getting him to talk a little, I mean, you think I'm not talkative, just look at him, there only one person worse than him and that's Trowa, mind you, Wu-man is just as bad, I mean, the man just has three words in his vocabulary, 'injustice!', 'dishonour!' and 'Maxwell!', and usually all in the same sentence. But why am I telling you all of this, huh?" Deathscythe raised a hand to interrupt when Duo answered his own question. "I'll tell you why! Because I won't have my Gundam acting like a cold ass bast. . . ille. A cold ass bastille to a friend of his, sheesh, he's just trying to be playful and kind, Death! And you!" He turned his attention on Wing again, "I know I've said it before but, ya gotta be careful of Heero's personality, the man's got a short fuse, and I mean, I trust Heero enough not to pull the trigger, but I don't know if death here's got the same restraint and . . ." He blinked as Wing tilted it's head to look up, the Gundam appeared to stare at the dark mobile suit for a long time before it spoke.

"Zero Two . . ." Wing trailed off, then looked down. There was a slow rumble as Sandrock walked towards them; its stride slow and gaiting. It came to a stop, and motioned the two to part. Wing and Deathscythe moved away, as Sandrock looked in. Sandrock nodded slowly, and almost silently, it tipped its head to stare at the computer panels. "Sir! Sir!!" Yelled another random ensign, "The Gundam's hacking into our files!! It's . . . it's . . ."

"Hello Quatre."

Elsewhere . . . meaning Hawaii, because that's where all the best Hula-hula lessons are given. . .

"You know, I just can't hit that cord . . . simply so irritating because I could if I had my own guitar. . ."

"Well, that might have something to do with the fact that your guitar, O my dear friend, is about a billion times bigger than this poxy teeny weeny one they give you . . ." H looked over his shoulder, "You know I could get used to wearing these grass skirts . . ."

G smoothed his hands down his own skirt, "I know what you mean . . ." he said gruffly, "You know when I first saw them I thought 'ouch, that against my bare skin . . . no, no. . .' but now I've tried it, it feels so good. . . there's so much more freedom of movement!!"

"You mean you've gone completely commando?" J questioned as he looked down at G's skirt.

"Of course, hasn't everyone?"

"I know I have . . ." S did a little twirl, "What's that movement when they move one hand over the other, back toward their chest?"

J nodded, "Oh . . . I know that one . . ." He shimmed out of his under pants as he thought for a moment, "It means bringing the fish back in after you've cast out the nets. . ." He flicked his pants – big giant old man pants, you know the kind, the kind that you take out of the washing machine when you've decided to be helpful around your grandparents, and you think you've made some terrible mistake with the water's temperature. The kind that looks like you could slide the leg holes around your body if the desire so hits you. The kind that you used to stare at in sheer horror when you were a poor helpless little impressionable child and they were on the washing line, and absolutely convinced you that yes, giants did indeed exist and that they lived at your grandparents where they did their underwear washing. *That* kind of big giant old man pants. – over a nearby hedge no doubt sending even more poor helpless little impressionable children in to therapy for the rest of their poor helpless little impressionable lives, giving therapists for years to come incredible hardship as they try and figure out what kind of delusion 'Giants Throw Their Underwear At Me!!' falls under.

That aside, back to . . .

"Hello Quatre."

There was silence as the almost inaudible voice softly filled the room. Quatre walked to the window, "Hello . . . Sandrock . . . it's a pleasure to hear from you." The massive robot shuffled slightly, seemingly a little uneasy. "Please kneel for us, so we can see you better . . ."

Sandrock slumped down, and looked in for a long moment before choosing to speak again, "This is unexpected."

"Indeed, we are as shocked as you are!" Quatre enthused, "But tell me . . . how is it you can speak better than the others?"

"Speak better?"

"Yes, you speak in sentences and can address me by my name, not designation." Quatre smiled as his Gundam lifted a hand, and placed a finger gently on the windowsill, "It amazes me, please explain? Is it because of the Zero System?"

"Partially. I am more . . . more . . ." Sandrock tilted its head, "More used to you. You speak to me, in the fashion you have described; I cannot think of any other . . . reason, nor explanation. This is the way you communicate, and therefore is the most appropriate form to ease communication between us."

The petite blonde looked thrilled, "I see!" He grinned, "Very well then, thank you! He glanced back at the others, Sandrock, do you have any memory of being active like this before?"

The Gundam was silent for a moment, "Since the last upgrading . . . there is no outstanding memory of being active in sentient form before the last upgrading." 

"Zero Four." Sandrock looked up as Deathscythe addressed him, there was a quick burst of sound, like a data transfer. Meanwhile, the pilots, Howard and Relena sat back and thought about this. None of the Gundams were aware of their former 'lives' as it were, which meant . . . the pilots sighed, there was no memory of their friendships. Howard glanced sadly at the boys; it meant the Gundams had forgotten their interpersonal relationships. Relena smirked, it meant Deathscythe and Wing, Sandrock and Heavyarms were no longer in love and were acting like perfectly normal men. Quatre frowned as his Gundam nodded, and looked back at them. "What is it?"

"Zero Two wishes for Duo Maxwell to cease speaking." There was a strange metallic sound which no one could explain, before Sandrock continued again, "Zero Two wishes for Duo Maxwell to remain in a state where speaking has ceased for approximately 300 seconds."

"What?!" Duo exclaimed, he glared at his Gundam, "You what?!"

"Zero Two stated—"

"I know what he said!!" Duo snapped, he raised his fist, "Why you . . . you . . ."

He didn't get to say very much because Wing stood, and stepped in front of Deathscythe as it had before. The two stared at each other, similar bursts of data transferring between them before Zero Two turned slightly to glared at Duo, "Pilot Zero Two . . ." It began then paused again, Wing bobbed slightly, expectantly. Deathscythe's shoulders actually slumped, before it spoke again, "Compunction."

Duo grinned, "I'm gonna take that as a 'sorry', but!!" He held up a finger, "You better play nice, just 'cause Heero's an insensitive, mean jerk—"

"Hey!" Heero protested from the back.

"--Doesn't mean you hav'ta, got it?" Deathscythe nodded as if it was agreeing to a death sentence. Wing made a funny noise and threw its arms around Deathscythe's neck. Deathscythe made a resigned sound, and stomped back to its position, still with Wing hanging onto its neck.

"It's either a very cute, to the point of sickening cute girl . . ." Lady Une observed, "Or it's a very cute, gay little boy . . ." She nodded and folded her arms, as Wing made another prolonged noise, and 'chatted' animatedly to Deathscythe, oblivious to the dark Gundam's silence. "I choose to believe the latter."

Heero pressed a hand against his forehead and sighed, "My Gundam is gay, Duo . . . why is my Gundam still gay?"

The braided pilot turned away from the window, and blushed. "Erm . . . I, uh . . . don't . . ." Heero stepped closer. Relena looked on impressed, she knew Heero had never been gay, unlike his comrades . . . she glanced around, Quatre and Trowa made no effort to hide themselves, and Wufei . . . Wufei tried but failed, and finally there was Duo who seemed to have a crush on her boyfriend. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the braided idiot.

His back pressed against the glass, Duo tried to make a joke of it, "Look Heero, I . . ." He looked down, unable to take the cold cobalt gaze anymore, "I dunno."

Heero blinked in complete surprise, Duo didn't have an answer? He looked above the braided pilot's head, to see his Gundam cling tighter to Death. "Is it because you are?"

Duo cringed, "Maybe . . ."

Quatre frowned and cleared his throat, "Maybe we could save this for another time, I do believe that we need to establish a closer communication with the Gundams to prevent further confusion in the futu—"

"JUST WILD BEAT COMMUNICATION!!"

The entire group jumped back in utter shock as Wing floated outside the window. It made that funny noise again, prolonged and stilting, before crowing again, "Just Wild Beat Communication!"

"You're energetic . . ." Zechs observed dryly, he opened the window, "Aren't you?"

"Pilot Zero Six, confirmation of status!"

Zechs chuckled, "Interesting . . . you remember me?"

"Pilot Zero Six, memory banks 100% complete!"

The platinum haired OZ Officer nodded, "Good!" He propped himself on the sill, "Tell me, why are you so good at sneaking up on us like that? You'd think a massive and *energetic* robot like you couldn't be capable of such stealth . . ."

Wing shook it's head, "Pilot Zero Six, information encrypted. Discussion denied."

"You can't tell me? Why not?"

"Information encrypted. Discussion denied."

Heero sighed and stepped away, Duo was still looking down. "We'll talk about it later." Heero murmured, he walked over and lent out the window, "Discussion is irrelevant, access to information permitted."

Wing tilted its head, and paused; before its cool metallic voice filled the room, the chirping quality disappearing from the voice. "Zero One has influences of Pilot Zero Two. Pilot Zero Two: Maxwell, first name: Duo. Specialties: Stealth, fighting, piloting. Secondary qualities: Penetration, infiltration . . ." The chirping tint returned to the voice again as Wing added, "Pilot Zero One's preferred pilot."

"What?" Heero frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Preferred pilot." Wing stated as if this was information enough, Sandrock made the same noise as before, a sort of robot's 'tut' before explaining. "Pilot Zero One displays preferences to Pilot Zero Two, more than 50% of missions are taken with Pilot Zero Two, missions taken without are recorded as unsatisfactory, unfulfilling, tiresome."

Quatre chuckled, "Are you suggesting that Heero finds going on missions with Duo more fun than anything else?"

Wing tilted its head, "Pilot Zero Four, restate question."

"Pardon me?" Quatre frowned, he shook his head slowly, "Didn't you understand?"

Sandrock tapped the glass slightly, "Your use of words is too much for his vocabulary. You have confused him." Sandrock 'tutted' again, "Zero One, restate Pilot Zero One: Preferences. Cross reference under: Pilot Zero Two."

Wing looked at Sandrock, and then back at Quatre and Zechs. Quatre smiled with a hint of confusion in his expression and the OZ officer folded his arms, and looked up at the robot expectantly. The communications channel opened . . . and then closed . . . and then opened again, and then closed again . . . Wing looked at Sandrock, impatient at its limited vocabulary.

"Zero One, State problem." Sandrock requested slowly. Wing shook its head, opening and closing its metaphorical mouth, before it spread its rockets and floated to its feet. It started to walk over to Deathscythe again.

"There he goes again . . ." muttered Sandrock, "Zero One, state problem."

Wing ignored Sandrock, and continued to pace purposely . . . its head turned . . . walked over with direction . . . it focused on something to the side . . . ambled sorta . . . then slowed to a stop. Staring at a Leo bent over at the midsection, not in use. Wing forgot completely about where it was going and walked back to the Leo.

"He's not . . ." Lady Une murmured as Wing tilted its head.

"He is!" Duo ran forward, and sniggered gleefully as Wing straightened again.

"He's not!" Treize growled as Wing started to step backwards.

"Oh, yes he is!!" Duo crowed, as the massive Gundam ran forward. The Leo sailed through the air with the greatest of ease before exploding in a bright gold and orange bloom of fire. Wing landed gracefully, and tilted its head to the next Leo, hunger for another kick almost plain in its intense gaze. Just as Wing stepped back, there was a bright whip of light, and the next Leo was throw in the air, a black and gold leg came out of nowhere and kicked the Leo out of range.

Wing looked at Deathscythe as it hovered slightly and turned off its beam scythe before touching the ground.

"Insane." Treize growled, twenty minutes later, "Utterly insane . . . what are they up to now?"

"Destroying this base's compliment of Leos . . ." Lady Une deadpanned, "I assume they'll be staring on our Aries next."

Duo was having a laughing fit as both Deathscythe and Wing took turns at kicking the lined up Leos, Quatre had covered his face, and was trying – in vain – to not laugh so loudly, and tried –in vain – to maintain a perfectly dignified expression, Trowa dipped his head and sighed, folding his arms utterly unaware he was mimicked Sandrock perfectly. Wufei growled and pushed past Heero and Duo to yell, "Nataku!!" He gestured wildly at his Gundam, "Dishonour!"

"And a pox on your family!!" Duo gasped as he fell to the floor, kicking and laughing so hard, he had to hold his sides. Heero growled and knelt by the braided boy, and grabbed his plait. "This is not funny, Duo!"

Duo calmed down to a point where he could stare at Heero. Just as he opened his mouth, the ground shook in a regular pattern. Duo's face crumpled as he realised it was Nataku running along, Heero rolled his eyes as there was a loud explosion, and Duo flopped back onto the ground, rolled onto his stomach and laughed his head off again.

Later that night . . .

Thump-thump-Thump-Thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-Thump-Thump-thump-thump. . .

"I wonder what Wing's found now . . ." Quatre murmured as he watched Wing, the only really awake one, run back to the small group of Gundams, it was the fifth time in as many hours the youngest seeming of the Gundams had been off on another excursion. Wing had temporarily used most of its fuel in its rockets and was having to rely on running back and fourth. Trowa sighed and shook his head as Wing opened its hands to reveal a small crate of something. "I dunno. . ."

As it turned out, Wing had Duo's personality, mixed with Heero's lost child self and single-mindedness. The first Gundam was curious about everything that wasn't strictly mission related, and had been caught more than once dragging one or two of the others off to see what was too heavy to carry, or brought it back to show to the others, persisting in an answer every time.

Deathscythe had taken to Heero's personality, mixed with Duo's intensive fighting skill, he was the one that seemed to grab the back of Wing's head every time the Winged Gundam got on his nerves. Even then, Deathscythe seemed a little lenient with Wing, tolerating Wing to a point, just as Duo had ordered.

ShenLong, or Nataku –as that was the only name it answered to – was just like Quatre, and while it was intent on keeping the peace amongst the various Gundams, Nataku mostly keeping to itself in the mean time. In fact, it had sat down, in the afternoon, and actually held a conversation, admittedly a slight strained and limited conversation, with Wufei about Honour and Justice, and other such important things.

Sandrock was revealed to have Trowa's personality, with Quatre's insatiable desire to help, a strange combination which even Lady Une – Miss Split Personality – had to admit was whacked out. Trowa's icy calm was disturbing, and his silence more so. The robot was mostly silent after speaking to Quatre, besides Quatre he didn't seem inclined to talk with anyone else.

Heavyarms was exactly like Wufei, but with more restraint over his feelings. The massive orange and white robot tended to take care of Wing in different ways, taking the short robot away from dangerous things, and ranting on other occasions about protesting animal rights, the injustice of not getting the right sized leg casings and the dishonour of having bullets left after a battle . . .

Without the memory of their past lives, nor the deep feelings that they had developed toward each other from the time before their last change, the five seemed content just to babble away in their own computerised language, and depended on Sandrock for most translations. They didn't even seem that friendly toward one another anymore, more like the pilots had been when they first met up. Although the Gundams displayed quick flashes of a deeper friendships, it was blatantly clear that their relationships, and the brotherly rivalry they once shared was, perhaps, lost to them forever . . .

. . . Thump-thump-Thump-Thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-Thump-Thump-thump-thump.

Heero growled quietly as he pushed away from the window, his Gundam acting so freely without him. It was evoking the same inexplicable feelings he felt when he exposed Duo to danger. "The Baka needs my protection." Heero growled again and stormed out, going to fetch himself something to eat . . . and check where Duo had disappeared.

Thump-thump-Thump-Thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-Thump-Thump-thump-thump. . .

. . . Thump-thump-Thump-Thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-Thump-Thump-thump-thump. . .

He found Duo sitting in the canteen, just watching the Gundams by himself. The braided one smiled gently as Wing ran past again, then blinked as Heero slid into the seat opposite, "Oh . . . hey," He looked around, "Didn't hear ya coming!!" Duo winked and sipped his coffee, "It's you he gets it from then, isn't it?"

Thump-thump-Thump-Thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-Thump-Thump-thump-thump. . .

Heero's eyes narrowed as his Gundam skidded to a halt carrying more objects of his interest, "What do you mean?"

"The sneaking up on people without telling them!!" Duo grinned as Deathscythe slapped the small crate out of Wing's hand, and stamped on it. Wing glanced around distractedly as Nataku tried to explain why touching the crate of explosives was dangerous, and Deathscythe grabbed the back of the Winged Gundam's head and shook it hard.

"Duo . . ." Heero looked away from the Gundams, as Deathscythe dropped Wing again, "About earlier . . ."

The braided one snorted and chuckled, "There he goes again. . ."

Thump-thump-Thump-Thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-Thump-Thump-thump-thump. . .

"Duo." Heero held back from growling, "About earlier."

"What of it?" Duo gestured the air, and shrugged, "You don't mind Quatre and Trowa, do you?"

"No . . ."

"Then what's the difference about me either . . . it's not like I'll pounce on you in the next mission, maul you and demand you throw me up against a wall and. . ." Cobalt blue eyes widened as Duo blushed and trailed off, "Never mind. . ."

Thump-thump-Thump-Thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-Thump-Thump-thump-thump.

Duo sighed, "Wonder what he found now. . ." Wing was carrying something smaller this time, a canister and held it up for the others to see, Duo chuckled quietly, "Kid sure is enthusiastic . . ." Heavyarms grabbed the back of Wing's head and lifted the smaller Gundam off it's feet, as Nataku grabbed the canister, and threw it as far from the base as he could, the canister exploded with some violence. Sandrock was apart from the proceedings as it watched Heavyarms hand Wing over to Deathscythe. Deathscythe started to shake Wing angrily, no doubt ranting away about how much danger the other, excitable Gundam had just put them in . . . again. Duo tutted, and reached for his radio, "Death!" He growled warningly, not noticing the searching look Heero was giving him as the stoic pilot searched his friend's face for a clue. "Play nice I said!"

----------------------------

And Now It's Time to LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!

DrM: [tiredly] Konnichiwa . . . how is everyone?

Wing: what happened to the last set of authour's notes? In fact, why haven't you updated in so long?!

DrM: [lifts head from table] mixture of lazyness, hyperactivity, and Uni work . . . [yawns and lets her head drop to the desk, muffled] and it's the last week of term . . . and I'm going home for a month . . . so, I'll be back on line on msn . . . as if anyone is interested. . .

Wing: [folds arms] how dare you be so selfish. . .

DrM: [raises head slightly, and blinks owlishly] wha. . .?

Wing: [sniffles] that would have been a perfect cue for me to insult you, but no! you never let me have any fun! [stomps his foot] I HATE YOU!! [runs to a cliff and yells out] Heeeeeeeeeeerooooooooooooo, come and pilooooooooooottttt meeeeeeee!!

. . .

DrM: [wakes up violently] WHAAGH!!

Wing: [bored, is hidden by newspaper] what?

DrM: [rubs eyes] I had a nightmare where you suddenly turned into Relena, it was terrifying!!

Wing: [lowers newspaper to reveal pink lipstick, and a blonde wig] what ever do you mean?

. . .

DrM: [wakes up even more violently] WHAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Relena: [concerned] What's wrong, Meggie-chan. . .?

DrM: [blinks rapidly, realises she's in bed with a naked, whip and handcuff whielding Relena]  .      .       .     . . . . . . . . . ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [gets up and runs away] AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!!!

"Relena": [starts pulling at rubber face mask, is revealed to be Wing in disguese] Mwha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! [louder] Mwha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!! [even louder] MWHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA HA!!! [tips head back and laughs even louder] MWHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! [stops laughing suddenly and stares at readers] You didn't really think I was Relena did you? [grins, and pulls at rubber face mask] well actually . . .

. . .

DrM: [wakes up again] AH!! [Looks around the place and finds she's fallen asleep at her desk again] okay, that was weird . . . [glances at readers] Quick, review before something else . . . [glances in mirror, blinks dumbly as she realises she's turned into Relena] okay . . . I think that's enough Gundam Wing at four in the morning . . . [grins weakly to readers] please review, I'm going to go scream now. . . thanks for reading . . . hooooo, boooy . . .