Disclaimer: Don't own Lotr.
A/N: Ok, some people seem to be a little confused as to why Rinariel still has the mindset of an Elf. This is because her being an Orc is an illusion. She is not an actual Orc, she just looks like one. Everyone, except a few, see her as an Orc.
Everyone understand now?
The Diary of an Orc...Continued
*~*~*
Fear is a horrible feeling. It twists in my belly and burns itself on my soul.
The Fellowship is very close to ending their journey through Moria. I haven't seen a track or a trail for a long time now. I only keep ahead of the Balrog and his scalding anger.
Not for the first time, I wish that I carried a torch to light my way. Stumbling over unseen objects in the pitch darkness is not the way I prefer to travel.
I don't like it here in Moria; it has an air to it that I dislike.
It also gives me time to think. Not one of my favourite pastimes.
*~*~*
Have reached the Tomb of Balin, Gimli's cousin.
A sign of a battle and the huge corpse of an unfortunately cave troll. I can hear goblins ahead; they must be pursuing the Fellowship. My tolerance to this lonely darkness is nearly at its end. I must see sunlight again, soon, or I fear that I will be drawn into the coldness of depression.
I daydream about the trees and sky, the smell of a fresh breeze carrying the scent of a land, far, far away.
The rotting stench of Moria is not one to replace the delights of the world above.
I am certain the Balrog now stalks the Fellowship ahead of me as I have not heard it in a long time.
Anxiousness is nearly worse than fear.
*~*~*
All hope seems lost.
I have reached the bridge of Khazad-dûm and I feel the twisting pain of anguish.
The bridge had broken in two and I am sure that the Fellowship has passed to the other side.
Either that, or they have all fallen and now lie dead.
There is no way across this bridge, I cannot jump the distance, and I cannot find a way to get across. I have sat for hours, hoping to hear a snatch of conversation from the Fellowship as my heart tells me they may yet be alive.
I have wandered through the Great Hall, marvelling at its beauty, as I had no time to notice it before.
Dread has settled like a large lump of stone in my chest.
All hope is lost.
*~*~*
Will I die here in the depths of a fallen Dwarven Realm?
I long for fresh air, I long for light. All that greets me when I awake, stiff and sore from the rocky ground, is the gloom.
*~*~*
I have found a bow and a quiver of arrows. It belongs to one of the Goblins. That I am sure of. At least I can practise my archery while I die of starvation and dehydration.
I have also found a length of elvish rope. Feeling the lightness and smoothness lightens my heart. I can almost feel the fresh breeze upon my face.
I have tied one end of the rope to the tail end of an arrow. Perhaps I can lodge the arrow somewhere and climb my way across.
*~*~*
I have tried and failed many, many times. And all the while, the Fellowship is getting further and further away from Moria. I do not know for certain where they are headed, but in my heart, hope flares at the thought that they might be heading towards Lothlorien.
My home.
*~*~*
Will I die? Will I be doomed to fall into this chasm like it is certain the creature of the Shadow did?
An arrow has found its way across and I feel hope and elation at the thought I may get out of this place alive.
Can all ones trust be place on one length of rope and a badly crafted Goblin arrow?
*~*~*
Perhaps one must have faith. I do not know. So long I have been alone in this world of darkness, so close seems the escape, yet I feel a sudden reluctance to go.
*~*~*
I am across!
I never thought I would ever say this, but Valar bless the crafter of that arrow!
After a long time of agonizing over whether of not I should place my life in the hands of the Unknown, I finally started the long journey over the rope. I had secured the end of rope on my side with a large rock which I had dragged a long way.
About half way across, the rope from the rock slipped, and I felt my heart leap and terror fill me and I went plummeting into the depths.
I held onto the rope like it was a lifeline and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the death impact.
Instead, I felt the hard tug of the rock catching and the shattering of my right shoulder as my body hit the wall.
Then, hand over painful hand; I hauled myself up, tying the end of elvish rope around my waist so I should not fall again.
When I reached the top, I nearly did not have the strength to climb out of the Darkness.
An arrow, landing close to my face gave me the motivation I needed.
Goblins.
They had heard my wild screams and come to see who dared disturb the quiet.
*~*~*
The fresh air feels so good on my face. My shoulder and body throbs through me. Every step I take crushes me with pain, but I am so overjoyed to see the sun, the moon, the trees and landscape, it doesn't matter.
I am just glad to be alive.
*~*~*
I have seen clear signs of the Fellowship, but they passed this way a long time ago.
I found the first river and drank my full, which was a lot.
Then, I submerged myself in the icy waters and felt the dirt of Moria wash away. I am so glad to be out of Moria. No more screams or whispers in the dark.
I am near Lorien, I can feel it.
*~*~*
I have caught up to the Fellowship a considerable amount, and I am so thrilled that they have not plunged to their deaths. I have seen a hidden, smoking fire that had been light in the chill of this morning.
The sun now shines brightly, and with a fresh breeze on my face, I am preparing to enter my home. I cannot wait to see my Lady again. It has been too long.
I do not know what I shall find here. Welcome? Anger? What do I expect? A warm welcome with embraces all round?
Maybe I shall be turned away.
Maybe I shall be accepted.
But that is all for Fate to decide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for all your reviews! I will try and update again soon, but I'm quite busy at the moment so I don't know when that will be.
A/N: Ok, some people seem to be a little confused as to why Rinariel still has the mindset of an Elf. This is because her being an Orc is an illusion. She is not an actual Orc, she just looks like one. Everyone, except a few, see her as an Orc.
Everyone understand now?
The Diary of an Orc...Continued
*~*~*
Fear is a horrible feeling. It twists in my belly and burns itself on my soul.
The Fellowship is very close to ending their journey through Moria. I haven't seen a track or a trail for a long time now. I only keep ahead of the Balrog and his scalding anger.
Not for the first time, I wish that I carried a torch to light my way. Stumbling over unseen objects in the pitch darkness is not the way I prefer to travel.
I don't like it here in Moria; it has an air to it that I dislike.
It also gives me time to think. Not one of my favourite pastimes.
*~*~*
Have reached the Tomb of Balin, Gimli's cousin.
A sign of a battle and the huge corpse of an unfortunately cave troll. I can hear goblins ahead; they must be pursuing the Fellowship. My tolerance to this lonely darkness is nearly at its end. I must see sunlight again, soon, or I fear that I will be drawn into the coldness of depression.
I daydream about the trees and sky, the smell of a fresh breeze carrying the scent of a land, far, far away.
The rotting stench of Moria is not one to replace the delights of the world above.
I am certain the Balrog now stalks the Fellowship ahead of me as I have not heard it in a long time.
Anxiousness is nearly worse than fear.
*~*~*
All hope seems lost.
I have reached the bridge of Khazad-dûm and I feel the twisting pain of anguish.
The bridge had broken in two and I am sure that the Fellowship has passed to the other side.
Either that, or they have all fallen and now lie dead.
There is no way across this bridge, I cannot jump the distance, and I cannot find a way to get across. I have sat for hours, hoping to hear a snatch of conversation from the Fellowship as my heart tells me they may yet be alive.
I have wandered through the Great Hall, marvelling at its beauty, as I had no time to notice it before.
Dread has settled like a large lump of stone in my chest.
All hope is lost.
*~*~*
Will I die here in the depths of a fallen Dwarven Realm?
I long for fresh air, I long for light. All that greets me when I awake, stiff and sore from the rocky ground, is the gloom.
*~*~*
I have found a bow and a quiver of arrows. It belongs to one of the Goblins. That I am sure of. At least I can practise my archery while I die of starvation and dehydration.
I have also found a length of elvish rope. Feeling the lightness and smoothness lightens my heart. I can almost feel the fresh breeze upon my face.
I have tied one end of the rope to the tail end of an arrow. Perhaps I can lodge the arrow somewhere and climb my way across.
*~*~*
I have tried and failed many, many times. And all the while, the Fellowship is getting further and further away from Moria. I do not know for certain where they are headed, but in my heart, hope flares at the thought that they might be heading towards Lothlorien.
My home.
*~*~*
Will I die? Will I be doomed to fall into this chasm like it is certain the creature of the Shadow did?
An arrow has found its way across and I feel hope and elation at the thought I may get out of this place alive.
Can all ones trust be place on one length of rope and a badly crafted Goblin arrow?
*~*~*
Perhaps one must have faith. I do not know. So long I have been alone in this world of darkness, so close seems the escape, yet I feel a sudden reluctance to go.
*~*~*
I am across!
I never thought I would ever say this, but Valar bless the crafter of that arrow!
After a long time of agonizing over whether of not I should place my life in the hands of the Unknown, I finally started the long journey over the rope. I had secured the end of rope on my side with a large rock which I had dragged a long way.
About half way across, the rope from the rock slipped, and I felt my heart leap and terror fill me and I went plummeting into the depths.
I held onto the rope like it was a lifeline and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the death impact.
Instead, I felt the hard tug of the rock catching and the shattering of my right shoulder as my body hit the wall.
Then, hand over painful hand; I hauled myself up, tying the end of elvish rope around my waist so I should not fall again.
When I reached the top, I nearly did not have the strength to climb out of the Darkness.
An arrow, landing close to my face gave me the motivation I needed.
Goblins.
They had heard my wild screams and come to see who dared disturb the quiet.
*~*~*
The fresh air feels so good on my face. My shoulder and body throbs through me. Every step I take crushes me with pain, but I am so overjoyed to see the sun, the moon, the trees and landscape, it doesn't matter.
I am just glad to be alive.
*~*~*
I have seen clear signs of the Fellowship, but they passed this way a long time ago.
I found the first river and drank my full, which was a lot.
Then, I submerged myself in the icy waters and felt the dirt of Moria wash away. I am so glad to be out of Moria. No more screams or whispers in the dark.
I am near Lorien, I can feel it.
*~*~*
I have caught up to the Fellowship a considerable amount, and I am so thrilled that they have not plunged to their deaths. I have seen a hidden, smoking fire that had been light in the chill of this morning.
The sun now shines brightly, and with a fresh breeze on my face, I am preparing to enter my home. I cannot wait to see my Lady again. It has been too long.
I do not know what I shall find here. Welcome? Anger? What do I expect? A warm welcome with embraces all round?
Maybe I shall be turned away.
Maybe I shall be accepted.
But that is all for Fate to decide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for all your reviews! I will try and update again soon, but I'm quite busy at the moment so I don't know when that will be.