A/N: Hello everyone. First off, I would like to thank everyone who reviewed. Your comments are greatly appreciated! Second off, I'd like to apologise for the length of this chapter. The next one should be long enough to make up for it. Also, I'd like to mention that, although this story is not a romantic one and shouldn't be considered that way, I, by the very nature of default, do lean towards certain pairings. Scott and Jean, Rogue and Gambit, that sort of thing. I'm sorry if this bothers anyone, I probably should have mentioned it before, but there isn't really that much of it. Thanks for your time, and please enjoy the second chapter!
"C'mon, babycakes, I'm doin' the best I can!" Todd said, looking down at a very distressed Wanda Maximoff, who was currently screaming at a volume that would make glass break, and beating little fist against him. "Aw, please stop crying! I fed ya, I changed ya, I musta sang like nine-million stupid kiddy songs, what more do ya want?" He asked. The 'stupid kiddy songs' had primarily been crap he'd seen on the television in passing, occasionally interspersed with old Christmas songs, and even 'Happy Birthday'. None of that had worked. In fact, nothing seemed to be having any effect. She was just intent on ruining Toad's hearing. That had to be it. "Oh man…" He moaned, turning away from her for a second to mash a fist into his forehead.
There was a break in the crying. Wanda was suddenly looking at him intently. Todd blinked. "Hey, ya stopped!" He said, relieved. Despite his more-than-slightly-large crush on Wanda, even Todd knew she could be handful, and pretty dangerous as well. He beamed at her. Suddenly, her lip trembled, and she burst out into wails of despair again. Todd moaned. "Oh no, please, don't start again. What made you stop? Think, Toad, think!" He said, and once again, smacked his forehead.
Wanda stopped crying.
Todd looked at her in amazement, as she watched him with a calculating stare once more. After a few seconds she started tearing up again. "Oh, no, no, look! Look, see?" He said, and quite suddenly, punched himself in the arm. Wanda stopped her newly begun attempt at crying, watching him again. "Ya like that, huh?" He asked. Then, reaching up, he whacked himself in the face. Wanda giggled as he reeled a bit, clapping her hands. "Guess since you're not big enough to rag on me, I have to do it myself, right?" He asked, a bit bitterly.
"Want help?" A voice asked from the doorway. Todd cast a glance over in that direction.
"Hey, screw off Daniels, just 'cause Zippy aint here to help you with 'anger management' it don't mean you can take it out on me." He huffed. Wanda was starting look distressed again. With a drawn out sigh, Todd stood up, giving her one last look as she stared at him expectantly from the playpen. Then he extended his thick tongue, and wrapping it around his throat, began choking himself. He'd had it done to him enough times by other people, that he was sort of used to it by now. Wanda showed her appreciation by giggling insanely. "Da dings I oo for a petty fathe." Toad gurgled out around his tongue.
Evan rolled his eyes, and with a shrug, left the living-room. He'd put his aunt in his room a couple of minutes ago, and left her playing with his skateboard while he went to get her a stuffed bunny, or something less valuable to drool on. Reaching down he snatched a semi-beheaded pink giraffe up. Sabretooth liked removing the heads from his toys, for some unknown reason. Evan chalked it up to him being Sabretooth, basically, and thus prone to acts of violence even as an infant.
Evan made his way back to his room. Really, they weren't supposed to leave the tykes unsupervised, but he'd made sure there wasn't anything small or pointy in the room, and had close the door firmly behind him. What could happen? Carefully he opened the door, checking to make sure she wasn't hiding behind it. It was beyond eerie to change your own aunt's diapers, but for some reason, most of the other students thought it was perfectly logical to stick her with Evan. 'You're family!' Jean had declared in huff the other day, when he'd made it a point to complain. "Auntie O?" He called in. There she was, in the middle of the room, looking intently at his skateboard. Quietly Evan crept in, and pulled the door shut behind him. "Hey, look, I brought you a… Wow, really messed up giraffe. Whew. Man, Creed has issues." He said, noticing the slightly mauled state of the soft plushie. Storm giggled quietly, completely ignoring Evan's presence. He blinked. That was weird. "Auntie O?" He asked, moving over closer to her. That was when he noticed she had something in her hand. Something small and colourful. Something small and colourful, which was currently being zig-zagged across the surface of his skateboard. A feeling of dread crept down Evan's spine. Slowly, very slowly, he turned to look at where he left his school bag. It was open. It shouldn't have been open. After school let out, he'd brought it in, put it down, and forgotten about it.
A pack of felt-pens lay torn open on the floor. His eyes moved back over to Storm. Carefully, moving very slowly, he picked her up and removed the pen from her tiny hands. She scowled, until she finally realised it was him, at which point she beamed and began gurgling at him in baby-speak. Evan checked her hands to make sure she wasn't holding any little caps, which she could choke on. She wasn't. Quietly he opened his door, and made his way rather numbly down stairs. Rahne was talking companionably with Kitty, as the older girl snapped pictures of Gambit, who was currently in her care. They both stopped as they saw a rather shell-shocked Evan come down the steps. Without a word, Spyke handed Storm over to Rahne.
"What…?" She asked. Evan didn't answer. He turned, without a word, went back upstairs, shut the door to his room, and proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs. The two girls blinked, and Storm, upon hearing the scream, began to cry.
"What's going on? What's happened?" A frantic Scott asked as he ran in, holding a scowling baby Sabretooth, and a partially decapitated teddy-bear, which the one-year-old kept reaching for. Kitty shook her head, adjusting Gambit in her arms.
"No clue. Evan just came downstairs, handed off Storm, went back to his room, and like, totally started flipping out." She explained. The screaming stopped. The door to Evan's room opened, and the scowling youth stalked out, wearing an expression that could've stopped a train in its tracks.
"Evan, what's going on here?" Scott asked, putting on his 'I'm-the-leader-and-you-screwed-up' tone of voice. Evan scowled at him.
"I've had enough, that's what! Changing diapers, baby-proofing crap, playing stupid games, waking up early in the morning! It's summer break, what did I do to deserve this?!? No, no, that's it, I've had it! I'm outta here, and I aint coming back until I've had some fun! F-U-N! Fun!!" He declared, somewhat hysterically. Everyone watched him with wide-eyes as he left the mansion.
Silence reigned as the door slammed shut behind him. Scott blinked. "Well, that was uncalled for…" He began. Kitty scowled at him.
"You think so? He's right you know, it's like, totally not been fun. I'm with him." She declared angrily, and to Scott's horror, placed Gambit in the playpen in Baby Central, ignoring Toad as he rammed a fist in his gut, and began stalking over to the exit.
"Wait, Shadowcat…" He began, but received only a death-glare in return, and then the sight of Kitty's back as she phased out of the room. He looked at Rahne, who gave him a rather displeased look, put Storm in with Gambit and Wanda, and left.
"Hey, wait up! I'm sick a punchin' my own lights out!" Toad called, and with one last glance at Wanda, followed Rahne out.
"Scott? What's happening? Where are they going?" Jean asked, coming in from the other room, holding a very contended-looking Logan.
"They're ditching! Can you believe that? They think it's too hard!" He declared. Jean raised her eyebrows at him.
Ten Minutes Later…"No, please Bobby, please, we're the last ones! The LAST ONES!!" Scott begged, grabbing on to the younger boy's ankle. Bobby was looking more than a little wigged out.
"Hey, n-no problem Scott, you can handle them! Look, they've already had lunch, right? I won't be gone long." Ice-man reasoned, trying to shake the team leader's grasp off his shoe. He blinked, listening as the older boy let out a strangled sob. Oh god, was he… crying?!? Bobby felt a strange mixture of sympathy and revulsion. Then again, he wouldn't want to be in Scott's shoes. Everyone had skipped out except Bobby, who was currently trying to do just that, leaving Scott alone with nine one-year-olds. Scott, who had troubles taking care of one baby, was now being forced to spend a few hours with all nine.
Bobby sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll stay." He offered. Scott looked up at him.
"Really?" He asked. With a look of utter dejection, Bobby nodded. Scott made a grateful sound, as he straightened up, letting go of the other boy's ankle. "Oh, thank y-"
"Ha!" Bobby declared, and before Scott could react, bolted for the front door. It slammed shut in Scott's face, just as he reached it.
"Nooooooo!" He cried out, as he was promptly plastered against it. "Don't do this to me! I'll get you for this, Drake! I'll get you!!!" He screamed, and noticed with satisfaction that Bobby winced a little, even as he made a mad-dash across the driveway. Still, it was a hollow victory. Scott was still left here, alone, with nine babies, and no one else to ask for help.
Nine babies, who had all recently had lunch. Lunch as in food. Food as in eaten, consumed, begun the digestive process. A process which was doomed to reach its climactic end… Scott racked his brain. He needed help, and he needed it soon. But, how would he get it? His only family was miles away in Hawaii. Some of the other students had relatives closer by, but what would he say? 'Yes, hello, I'm Jubilee's friend from the institute. Yes. Would you mind coming over and helping me change nine dirty diapers? You see, some of our instructors have, unfortunately, turned into helpless babies. Yes, that's right. Babies.' …Yeah, no, that wasn't going to fly well.He needed someone who was used to having weird stuff happen. Someone nice, significantly naïve to be lured to the mansion, but soft-hearted enough that they wouldn't leave right away either. And definitely someone who knew how to keep their mouth shut.
Suddenly, the sound of Magneto crying floated up from the other room. Scott winced. Wanda was in there with him, he'd forgotten that. Then another cry floated up, this one probably Logan's. Ugh. Great. He was left alone with all the babies, four of which were having their own private, miniature little wars. And he needed help!
A number popped into Scott's head. He gulped, straightened up, and looked over to where Baby Central was. Another cry drifted up along the air. Then his eyes moved over to the phone. It was a long shot. He knew that. But… He drew a deep breath. It was his only hope. Walking over, he reached down, picked up the phone, and began dialling.
Meanwhile, Just Down the Road…
He should have joined the Brotherhood. A member of the Brotherhood could successfully, and happily, abandon their leader to the clutches of evil baby fingers. It was all part of being in the Brotherhood, that you weren't very scrupulous. Not so with the X-Men. Noooooo. The X-Men had consciences. Morals. When you were the second to last man out, you got the last man out with you, or you didn't get out at all. Sure, sometimes X-Men loosened up and pulled a few practical jokes, but they didn't abandon their own.
He should have joined the Brotherhood. Of course, even if he had, he'd still be an X-Man right now. But maybe he wouldn't be an X-Man who was turning back to go and help Scott. Bobby groaned. Stupid Scott, looking all forlorn and vengeful and crap. How was he supposed to have fun when he was riding a major guilt-trip? "I am so freezing his underwear drawer for this." Bobby muttered, as he made his way back to the mansion. He'd almost made it. He'd been this close to forgetting about it. But, then again, he hadn't ever since Scott on the verge of tears.
Stupid Scott. Stupid morals. Stupid Jean. Why couldn't she have felt all guilty and stayed? Oh, that's right, because stupid Scott had to go and be stupid and mouth-off. Stupid Scott. Bobby was barely aware of the fact that he was mumbling angrily as he stormed up to the front of the mansion. Stupid Jubilee, why couldn't she have told him they were ditching? They were supposed to be partners in crime! How dare she leave in a huff without dragging him with her! Stupid Jubilee. Stupid Scott, makin' everybody mad. Stupid babies.
"Bobby?" A rather pitiful voice asked from the general direction of Baby Central. Bobby looked up, realising he'd wandered inside, still muttering angrily to himself. Scott was standing in the doorway, holding a screaming Magneto in one hand, and a wailing Wolverine in the other, and wearing an expression of horror mixed with relief. Bobby blinked.
"Yeah, you owe me. What's wrong with them? Filled their diapers?" He asked, choosing to ignore Scott as he thanked the ceiling for sending Bobby back, in a manner oddly reminiscent of Kurt on his off-days.
"No, Wanda and Sabretooth attacked them." He said, handing Magneto off to Bobby with a look of utmost relief. Bobby sighed.
"Great. Looks like it's you and me versus them." He reasoned, looking at Magneto's scrunched up face. "My money's on them." Scott shook his head.
"I called back-up." He announced, somewhat ominously. Bobby raised an eyebrow.
"Back-up? Who? The army?"
"No."
"The school?"
"…No."
"One of your yuppie cheerleader ex-girlfriends who loooooooves babies?"
"…No."
"…It wasn't Mystique, was it? 'Cause, ya know, not the best reputation with child-care there. The woman did drop Kurt into a river after all." Bobby asked worriedly. Scott gave him a look.
"Of course not!" He declared, somewhat indignantly.
"Okay, okay, I'm just checking!" Bobby said, raising one hand defensively. "So, who was it?" He asked, patting Magneto on the back, and trying to forget this was the man who had wanted him and his friends dead for a very long time. Scott cast his sunglass-covered eyes towards the ground a bit sheepishly.
"…I should have called an ex-girlfriend…" Was all he said.
Another Meanwhile, Even Further Down the Road…"I don't know, I mean, sure Scott was being a bit of a jerk about it, but aren't you guys worried about the babies?" Jean asked. Rogue rolled her eyes. Ever since they left it had been 'turn back' this, and 'right thing' that.
"Look, stop worryin', alright? The babies are fine. They're probably spittin' on Scott and dirtyin' their diapers as we speak." She reasoned.
"Oh, I hope so." Jean said, rather forlornly.
"Hey, c'mon, lets go see a movie. We can stuff our faces with popcorn and forget all about Scott changing dirty diapers!" Amara offered. Everyone, save Jean, made their rather enthusiastic approval of that plan known. Jean sighed.
"Alright, but I have a bad feeling about this." She said. Kurt shrugged.
"Vell, zhen, it's a good thing you're telepathic, und not prophetic!" He reasoned, drawing a few laughs from the surrounding occupants of the vehicle. Jean rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the tiny smile that tugged her lips.
No one noticed the pair of steely eyes, watching as they drove by, staring balefully out of the surrounding foliage. The eyes had watched as the others went down the road as well, and their owner knew. Now was the time to make his move. Tonight, while the X-Men slept a deep, tired sleep. A smile curled up the corners of his mouth. They would have no idea what hit them.