My Constitution
(Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Wrestling. I wouldn't mind being the manager of RAW! With Stone Cold Steve Austin though) (Summary; Will start out G-rated for now, but it will go to R later on. I decided to make up my own constitution. Hope you all like it)
See you all should be proud of me. I am keeping my opening chapter G-Rated. But, as soon as I am done writing this, it will go straight to R. I am only doing this because I am not in the mood to see another story be thrown off of fanfiction, but knowing my luck, it probably will be.
Chapter One: My opening statement.
Well, since I saw George Bush make an opening statement, I might as well also. (By the way, I can't stand George Bush. I don't know why people elected him. Bloomberg is another person I can't stand. It's hard enough on all of us good people of America without Bloomberg or whoever it is raising taxes on all of us good Americans.
(Took off of this video I saw where Shawn Michaels and HHH were in D-Generation X. They pretended to be president of the US. I really miss them in D-Generation X) Anyways:
Welcome to my first Congressional meeting. I would like to take this opportunity to fire off everyone. I would like to place as my Assistant president: Stone Cold Steve Austin. (We will announce what changes will be made in our next chapter. That's when it goes to R) My secretary is: Jeff Hardy. My treasurer will be: Bill Goldberg. My cabinet will be: HHH, Shawn Michaels, Booker T, Rey Mysterio, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Sean O'Haire, Hulk Hogan, and lastly Brock Lesner. Did I miss anybody that assists the president? (I am not gonna bother naming all the wrestlers I hate, but I must tell you at least one wrestler I cant stand: John Cena. I think he has an attitude problem and has gotten to be a real pain in the butt. Watch Samckdown! And you will see what I mean)
So, with that all done, now that you know who is in charge of what, I guess I should start the real story. But, be warned before I start: There will be cursing involved. I did warn all of you. I did follow the rules this time.
Now, you can flame if you want to. I can't control how you feel towards my writing, but I do deserve one piece of credit, at least I have the decency to respect all of you who do flame, which can not be said for certain writers.
Read and Review. See you when I make my next chapter. Chapter two: my changes made to benefit the United States.
(Disclaimer: I do not own anybody in Wrestling. That credit goes to Vince Mcmahon. (I wish that Stone Cold could take over instead of Vince.)
Now, if I am made president, the following things will be changed:
-I promise to try to be nice to all my friends from now on. Even if they don't deserve me to respect them, I still will. -I will from now on, only use the words ass, damn, hell, and penis. I will not however NEVER, I repeat NEVER use the words: Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cock sucker, Mother fucker, Pussy, and Tits. I repeat once again I will NEVER use the words: Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cock Sucker, Mother Fucker, Pussy and Tits. -(Thinks) I know I forgot some words. Oh yes, I will use the word Vagina, but I will Not use the word Dick. (Except to refer to Richard) Tell me something: Is Asshole really a curse, or a minor curse?) -As president, I swear to make Wrestling on TV 24 hours and day, all year round. Shawn Michaels and HHH will go back to the D-Generation X, Trish will finally get the credit that she deserves. (She is a cool wrestler. I like her best out of all the female Wrestlers, Sable is cool too, Booker T and Goldberg will be team partners, and Edge and Christian will become tag team partners again. -A note on Fanfiction: I will make sure that NOONE, I repeat NOONE insults other people's work. If they do, they will never be allowed to write again. Only nice reviews will be allowed. (I do respect flames, but not everyone may agree with me.) -Lastly, sex (coughs) will be allowed in public places. Just please make sure you bring a blanket. Thank you and goodnight. -Oh yeah, I knew I forgot some things: Stone Cold Steve Austin will also team with Booker T, and Goldberg. Bishoff will be fired, you heard me FIRED! Vince will retire as the boss of the WWE and give his job to Stone Cold Steve Austin. He will take over as the General Manager of RAW, Sunday Night heat, Velocity and Confidential. I will let Stephanie McMahon keep her job. She is all right. -Beer will be available legally. (I don't drink beer. I only like Pina Coladas) All alcohol will be restricted to 17 and over. (I saw this cool Beer fest with Stone Cold Steve Austin on RAW last week, and I thought it looked kinda cool. He shared beers with the audience and Goldberg himself joined him). -Drugs will be available, only if they are 55 and can qualify for social security. (I don't do drugs. That is one thing I am dead serious about. I may kid about alcohol, but Drugs is serious business) -Smoking will be allowed. But, it has to be smoked only in your homes. If I find a bud outside on the streets, your ass will be in jail for a fucking long time, my friend. (Smoking is another thing I am not too fond of. I live in a household of smokers and every time I breathe in smoke, I feel like I am about to fucking die.) -Hey, do me all a favor, now that you have seen all my rules and regulations, tell me if you want a story based on this. I swear it will not use as much cursing this time. (I did follow the rules this time. I did make it start out G-Rated. I like R-rated stories. Some of them are funny,) -Now, this meeting is adjourned. Good night and good fight. (took off of Celebrity Deathmatch) Chapter three: I need ur help!!!
I need some serious help, Mentally and physically. Ok, first on my meeting: How in the world am I going to make a story out of this? Also for Icess- America's sake, I think I can arrange for one of my slaves to shove Jericho in the closet. He deserves to die, but then Christian has to go, (Not that I care), but Edge, he cant leave. No, he can stay, just for my own pure amusment. H will be my ass-clown, him and John Cena, but once Cena becomes useless to me, out the fucking door he goes!!! Well, I can do all that, just fine and dandy, but now how in the world do I make all this become a story? I have the characters down pact, its how to actually put them into perspective that I cant do. Maybe u all can help me/ (Puts on the puppy dog eyes) Pleeasseee? (Oh yeah, if this chapter is rewritten with one and two, I am sorry. Its because I have no idea how to make a whole new chapter. ) Now, Mentally? (Lays down) well, u see it all started about 5 years ago. My mommy never loved me. She put all her attention to my stupid stepfather. (Not true at all, but I am bored right now) (Watch me get flamed for this) But, if u do want to give me therapy, I would apprieciate it. My number is 1-718-Cena Sucks. Thanks for taking the time to hear me out. I will see you all when I figure out how to do this. Hopefully, I will get this done in a week or so. Thank u to all of u who reviewed. (hold up a beer) U guys all rock. I also am holding a beer fest. Everyone who wants to come must say Cena Sucks. See you later Chapter Four: (Amazing at how when u have a writers block, you can get over it very fast. All thanks to Iccess-America as of now) I am gonna be nice right now, but I must fire Booker T. I decided to bring Iccess-America into my story. No, not because she requested it, no she seems cool to me. So, (Kicks Booker T out) Now on with the story. Oh yeah, it is titled The Torture of Chris Jericho. (sorry) Iccess-America is in my cabinet but will be my special advisor for a day.
Now this story officially starts in my office:
KaibaslilDevil: So, why the hell do I see this ass-clown named Jericho in front of me?
Iccess-America: (Sorry if I spell your name wrong) He is here because on Wrestling, he has developed a big head and thinks he is the best.
KaibaslilDevil: (ponders this) Well then, we will have no trial. Jericho, get your ass in jail!!!
Ass-clown: What did I do?!
KaibaslilDevil: You make me sick!!! For ummmmm. disgracing my country, you will be in jail for 100,000 years, with live piranhas.
Ass-clown: (Sobs) Nooo!!! I will be better. (on his knees) Give me one more chance?
Iccess-America: Whoever thought that he could beg? Can he fetch?
KaibaslilDevil: (Laughs) I bet he can. (Turns to Goldberg) What do you think?
Goldberg: I will send him to jail. (Drop-kicks him into a cell. He is next to Death Row) (Oh well, the piranhas will kill him anyway. Listens to his screams with glee) (HAHAHA!)
KaibaslilDevil: Well done, Goldberg. (shakes his hand)
Iccess-America: Next up: Christian.
KaibaslilDevil: Goldberg go sic him and destroy him.
(Goldberg develops an evil grin on his face)
Christian: Please have mercy?
Goldberg: (smirks) What is mercy?
(He drags Chrisian to a deserted island)
(An hour later)
Goldberg: He is taken care of.
Iccess-America: (Applauds) Good job.
KaibaslilDevil: (Growls) Now, bring John Cena to me!!
Goldberg: Sure. (Brings in my other ass-clown. Edge is my first one)
KaibaslilDevil: (Sits in a spinning chair) (They are really cool. I have one upstairs) You were fun for a while, but now you must go. (He was a jester, but after awhile, he gave me a royal headache, the bastard.)
John: Yo, Yo, What the dilly Yo?
KaibaslilDevil: (In disgust) Get him out of my sight!!!
Shawn: Can I take care of him for you?
Iccess-America: Of course you can. (Smiles sweetly)
KaibaslilDevil: (cracks a whip) Down girl! Shawn and HHH are mine. You can have the Hurricane and Matt Hardy if you want. (Do you like them both?)
(5 minutes later)
Shawn: (Smirks) Cena is dead.
KaibaslilDevil: (kisses him) Good boy. (he will be rewarded after the story. Cough ahem)
Iccess-America: Bring Bishoff to me.
(Now heres the catch. My best friend Norma wants to kill Bishoff, so you get a 5- minute break now. Bring me some coffee, please?)
(Bitch-ass is brought to me) (He will now be referred to as Bitch-ass)
KaibaslilDevil: Now, as president of this wonderful country, and of the WWE, you are fired, yes I said FIRED!
Bishoff: But I like my job.
Kaibaslildevil: Norma, sic him.
Norma; With pleasure. (Flashes me a grin) (Well, they go backstage and well, needless to say Bishoff is dead. Stone Cold also followed them out to see the action.)
Iccess-America: Here is your coffee, boss.
KaibaslilDevil: (Hands her a 100-dollar bill) Thank you very much.
(Now time to take out Vince McMahon himself)
Vince: (Comes in) I am supposed to be the president of the WWE. Who the hell are you?
KaibaslilDevil: I am the president of this country, and of WWE.
Vince: How?
KaibaslilDevil: We bought it from Stephanie.
Vince: you can't do that.
Iccess-America: We can do whatever we please. You, Mr. McMahon, are fired!!!
Vince: (Looks at her) You can't fire me.
KaibaslilDevil: As my assistant, yes she can. If not her, then I will. YOU'RE FIRED!!!
Vince: (Sobs) But why?
Iccess-America: For being an asshole.
(Goldberg carries him outside, then kills him)
KaibaslilDevil: Well, that went well.
Iccess-America: (Shakes my hand) oh I agree. Be back tomorrow?
KaibaslilDevil: Yeah, sure.
(So, who should I get rid of next? I am trying to make WWE a nice and peaceful place. I made Cena, Bitch-ass, Vince, Christian and Jericho dead, because we don't need them. They do nothing to help improve the WWE, especially John Cena. Anybody else that needs to go? I vote for the Big Show and A-Train. Its anybody you want, except for HHH and Shawn Michaels. I would like to also kill off Matt Hardy and his Mooreons. They are ridiculous. They have no talent and yet I will admit they are cute, but their attitudes have got to go. )
Thank you to Iccess-America for guest-starring in my fic. She will be back in my next chapter. Now, all I have to do is figure out how I want to torture everyone and I will be ready to rock and roll. See you in my next chapter. Oh yeah, thank you to all who reviewed my story. You all are the best.
Remember to READ AND REVIEW!
Chapter Five: The continuation of Torture.
(Oh yes, I will give Iccess-America a bone later on) U can have Shawn Michaels. But, I refuse to give up Triple H and Spike Dudley, oh yes and James Marsters. Anyways, I decided to kill off Jazz, Kevin Nash, Steven Richards, Victoria, Rico, Ric Flair, Big Show, A-Train, 3 minute Warning, and Mankind. No offense against Mankind, but he has become annoying in all the episodes I have seen. Oh yeah and the Legion of Doom, aka the Road Warriors.
(now on with my ficcie)
Goldberg: Ah, I feel good today.
Stone Cold: Why is that, Goldberg?
Goldberg: I get to kill a lot of people today.
Stone Cold: (Looks at the roster) With all these killings, we may have to make one more chapter.
(Two limos arrive and Iccess-America and KaibaslilDevil steps out) (Yes, we both have our own limos)
Iccess-America: So, who should I bring forth first?
KaibaslilDevil: Bring me Jazz.
Iccess-America: Shawn, go get me Jazz. (Shawn is ur man slave and Triple H is my man slave)
(Shawn brings Jazz to her)
Iccess-America: Good boy. (throws him a bone) Go fetch!!
KaibaslilDevil: Jazz, for being a bitch to Trish, and for capturing the Womens Title, I hereby fire u.
Iccess-America: That's it? Kill her off.
KaibaslilDevil: If I kill off everyone, then there won't be enough people on this earth. Some people have to be around so I can torture them.
Iccess-America: Oh, good point.
Triple H: I bring u the Road Warriors.
KaibaslilDevil: Iccess-America, u can enlist punishment this time.
Iccess-America: I order u to dress like a girl and have sex with Edge backstage.
Road Warriors: (Grins) Cool. (They are gay as it is) 9Ahem, anyways)
Edge: Want me to bring u Steven Richards, before I have sex with the Road Warriors.
KaibaslilDevil: Yeah, make urself useful.
(Edge brings in Steven Richards for me)
KaibaslilDevil: Since u wanted him here, u can kill him off.
(I sit back and watch this)
Iccess-America: I think u can go jump off a bridge.
Kaibaslildevil: Not gruesome enough.
Iccess-America: Hey, who came up with Steven Richards in the first place?
KaibaslilDevil: (Backs off) Ok, ok I'm sorry.
(He jumps off a bridge into a nice pool of hot lava.)
KaibaslilDevil: Bring out Victoria.
(Victoria comes out)
Victoria: U killed Stevie!! (Breaks into sobs)
KaibaslilDevil: (Takes her to a remote island) U can join him now. (I decide to let sharks eat her)
Iccess-America: Can I kill Rico now?
KaibaslilDevil: Sure, only if I get to kill off Kevin Nash.
(These are all the murders I will do tonight. Tomorrow, I will kill off everybody else.)
(Iccess-America eats Rico alive. Ummm.. I have been watching Saving Silverman too many times.)
(I, on the other hand, Beat Nash to a bloody pulp with my steel millennium rod. Ummm. it's a Yu-gi-oh thing) Iccess-America: Well, my job is done here. Shall I be back tomorrow to kill off anyone else?
Kaibaslildevil: sure. Maybe we will think of some other people to kill off. Must look up roster tonight. See you later)
(She leaves, Shawn Michaels with her)
(There u go, u got ur bone. Happy now? Yes u can keep Shane McMahon and Hurricane. Please do. I am happy with my men. Must please them tonight)
(Hope u all enjoyed that chapter. Must go and see about that roster now. See you all either tomorrow, or on Friday)
READ AND REVIEW!!
Chapter Six: Back to Torture, again. (This is my last chapter. See you in another story, Iccess-America.)
I changed my mind in killing Mankind. I will spare him in this story. I decided to bring back Iccess-America. I have no idea how we hit it off, but oh well. She makes a good assistant.
Undertaker: I demand to take out F.B.I.
KaibaslilDevil: Wait! Let Rhyno and Benoit help you.
Undertaker: Sure and Nathan Jones.
(They all take out F.B.I. YAY! I finally took them out. They will be in the hospital for a long time.)
Eddie and Chavo: Can we take out Benjamin and Haas? (Kurt is already out. YAY to Brock!)
Iccess-America: Of course you can.
(Once Team Angle is unconscious, I decide to fire them. YAY! U suck!!)
Brock: I wanna take out Big Show.
Undertaker: I get A-Train.
Rey: I will help u.
(Nathan Jones is hurt. F.B.I. broke his ankle.)
(Big show and A-Train are dead by the time I come out)
KaibaslilDevil: (Spits on them) Now, u can Rest in Peace in Hell.
Trish: Can I take on Molly Holly?
Iccess-America: Yeah, sure.
(Molly-Holly dies by me. Trish stabs her and I electrocute her. Now, I will admit that some of the girls can wrestle, but most of them are bitches. Trsih,Sable and Torrie are cool, also Jackie is ok)
Torrie: I team with Spanky to take on Jamie and Nidia.
KaibaslilDevil: Good idea. (They have a street fight, which Torrie and Spanky won. I fire Jamie and Nidia.)
Sable: I take on Dawn Marie. (I am keeping Sable nice in this story.)
(Dawn marie is eaten by Sable. Why? It beats me. I let Iccess-America eat Rico, so she can eat Dawn Marie.)
KaibaslilDevil: Since I know u all love Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore, they will stay, but I kill off Crash. ) (Shannon Moore is my ass-clown, but Matt Hardy is Iccess-America's ass clown)
Dudley Boyz: Whazzaaappp?!
Iccess-America: U can take out 3-minute Wraning.
Bubba Ray: D'Von get the table.
(They get the table and with Spike, they do a 3-D on Jamal. Spike is back in the Dudley Boyz. Goldberg comes out and spears Rosey. Then follows that up with the Jackhammer.)
KaibaslilDevil: Jamal and Rosey: Ur three minutes is up. UR FIRED!
Shane: You are doing a good job here.
KaibaslilDevil: Thank you.
Iccess-America: My boy toy.
Goldberg: (Picks him up) Here, go fetch.
(He throws Shane) Don't worry, u catch him. I have Brock though.
Stone Cold: I bring back Randy "Macho-Man" Savage.
Hogan: It feels good now that u are back, brother.
Savage: Oh yeah. Its great to be here.
Piper: What the hell are u doing here?
Savage: To aid my pal.
O'Haire: You're on ur own, piper. I am through kissing ur ass.
KaibaslilDevil: Come to me and u will be immortal. O'Haire: (Shrugs) Eh, why not?
(YAY! He is my new boy-toy. Hell, for Sean O'Haire: I'll even give up HHH. Have fun, Iccess-America!)
HHH: How could u?
KaibaslilDevil: Because I love Sean. Here, have Iccess-America instead.
Iccess-America: YAY! I swear u are the best!! (Jumps around singing I got HHH) (Just don't let this go to ur head, ok?) Sorry, but Hogan loses to Piper. I love Piper, despite the fact that he is an asshole.
Piper: I pinned u One Two Three, Hogan.
(Oops, I mean Mr. America when I say Hogan. Sorry) (Wait: I fired Vince, so.)
Kaibaslildevil: Hogan is now back in business.
Hogan: (Kisses her) Thank u.
Iccess-America: I have one more person to kill.
Kaibaslildevil: Who?
Iccess-America: Stephanie. Shane should own Smackdown! Instead.
(We kick her out.There she is now fired and all the guys can take her home and comfort her, like I know one of my guy-friends would like to do.) (Rolls her eyes: Anyways)
Shane: So, I am the manager?
Iccess-America: of Smackdown!
Shane: Thanks. See you later.
(Now I must think of what to do next. I think I will make Iccess-America a referee for a match I am dreaming up. I will let u know after I get one more review)
See you all later.
READ AND REVIEW!!!! I think I will make one more chapter just to make iccess happy.
Chapter Seven: HHH and Iccess together Forever.
(Now I know I said this would be my last fic, but iccess requested one more chapter. )
iccess: (Looks at the title) COOL!!!!!!!! I get HHH!!!!!!!!
KaibaslilDevil: Yeah well u let me have Sean O'Haire, so I owe this to u.
Iccess: (hugs me) Thank u. U are a great friend.
KaibaslilDevil: (Smiles down at her) So are u. (I'm 17 so naaahhh! I am older than u)
Iccess: (Pouts) So what? We are equal in heart?
KaibasilDevil: (Smirks) Whoever said I have a heart?
Sean: (Kisses her) I said u do.
KaibaslilDevil: I hate it when u do that!!!
Sean: (Laughs) Why? Because it proves it u wrong?
KaibaslilDevil: (Sticks out her tongue) Go jump in an ocean.
Iccess: (laughs) Come on guys, be nice.
Sean: (Gives HHH to her). Here, now leave us alone!!!
(We go into our bedroom to ahem talk out our problems)
HHH: (His real name is seriously Paul?) So u are the famous iccess I have heard so much about?
Iccess: (Stars in her eyes) Yes I am. (Down girl bad girl!)
HHH: (Weird look in his eyes) Uh-huh. (Looks her up and down) Mmmm.not bad at all. So, would u go out with me?
Iccess: (Jumps into his arms with a squeal) YAY! I would love to. (A yes would have been fine)
KaibaslilDevil: (Sees this from her room) Good for u, iccess.
Sean: (smiles softly) She deserves to be happy.
And so we all live in my white house and of course I rule the US and I still have the WWE. I hope u all enjoyed this story, but it did suck like Hell. Anyways, see you in all my later stories. Iccess, this chapter was for u.
READ AND REVIEW!
(Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Wrestling. I wouldn't mind being the manager of RAW! With Stone Cold Steve Austin though) (Summary; Will start out G-rated for now, but it will go to R later on. I decided to make up my own constitution. Hope you all like it)
See you all should be proud of me. I am keeping my opening chapter G-Rated. But, as soon as I am done writing this, it will go straight to R. I am only doing this because I am not in the mood to see another story be thrown off of fanfiction, but knowing my luck, it probably will be.
Chapter One: My opening statement.
Well, since I saw George Bush make an opening statement, I might as well also. (By the way, I can't stand George Bush. I don't know why people elected him. Bloomberg is another person I can't stand. It's hard enough on all of us good people of America without Bloomberg or whoever it is raising taxes on all of us good Americans.
(Took off of this video I saw where Shawn Michaels and HHH were in D-Generation X. They pretended to be president of the US. I really miss them in D-Generation X) Anyways:
Welcome to my first Congressional meeting. I would like to take this opportunity to fire off everyone. I would like to place as my Assistant president: Stone Cold Steve Austin. (We will announce what changes will be made in our next chapter. That's when it goes to R) My secretary is: Jeff Hardy. My treasurer will be: Bill Goldberg. My cabinet will be: HHH, Shawn Michaels, Booker T, Rey Mysterio, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Sean O'Haire, Hulk Hogan, and lastly Brock Lesner. Did I miss anybody that assists the president? (I am not gonna bother naming all the wrestlers I hate, but I must tell you at least one wrestler I cant stand: John Cena. I think he has an attitude problem and has gotten to be a real pain in the butt. Watch Samckdown! And you will see what I mean)
So, with that all done, now that you know who is in charge of what, I guess I should start the real story. But, be warned before I start: There will be cursing involved. I did warn all of you. I did follow the rules this time.
Now, you can flame if you want to. I can't control how you feel towards my writing, but I do deserve one piece of credit, at least I have the decency to respect all of you who do flame, which can not be said for certain writers.
Read and Review. See you when I make my next chapter. Chapter two: my changes made to benefit the United States.
(Disclaimer: I do not own anybody in Wrestling. That credit goes to Vince Mcmahon. (I wish that Stone Cold could take over instead of Vince.)
Now, if I am made president, the following things will be changed:
-I promise to try to be nice to all my friends from now on. Even if they don't deserve me to respect them, I still will. -I will from now on, only use the words ass, damn, hell, and penis. I will not however NEVER, I repeat NEVER use the words: Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cock sucker, Mother fucker, Pussy, and Tits. I repeat once again I will NEVER use the words: Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cock Sucker, Mother Fucker, Pussy and Tits. -(Thinks) I know I forgot some words. Oh yes, I will use the word Vagina, but I will Not use the word Dick. (Except to refer to Richard) Tell me something: Is Asshole really a curse, or a minor curse?) -As president, I swear to make Wrestling on TV 24 hours and day, all year round. Shawn Michaels and HHH will go back to the D-Generation X, Trish will finally get the credit that she deserves. (She is a cool wrestler. I like her best out of all the female Wrestlers, Sable is cool too, Booker T and Goldberg will be team partners, and Edge and Christian will become tag team partners again. -A note on Fanfiction: I will make sure that NOONE, I repeat NOONE insults other people's work. If they do, they will never be allowed to write again. Only nice reviews will be allowed. (I do respect flames, but not everyone may agree with me.) -Lastly, sex (coughs) will be allowed in public places. Just please make sure you bring a blanket. Thank you and goodnight. -Oh yeah, I knew I forgot some things: Stone Cold Steve Austin will also team with Booker T, and Goldberg. Bishoff will be fired, you heard me FIRED! Vince will retire as the boss of the WWE and give his job to Stone Cold Steve Austin. He will take over as the General Manager of RAW, Sunday Night heat, Velocity and Confidential. I will let Stephanie McMahon keep her job. She is all right. -Beer will be available legally. (I don't drink beer. I only like Pina Coladas) All alcohol will be restricted to 17 and over. (I saw this cool Beer fest with Stone Cold Steve Austin on RAW last week, and I thought it looked kinda cool. He shared beers with the audience and Goldberg himself joined him). -Drugs will be available, only if they are 55 and can qualify for social security. (I don't do drugs. That is one thing I am dead serious about. I may kid about alcohol, but Drugs is serious business) -Smoking will be allowed. But, it has to be smoked only in your homes. If I find a bud outside on the streets, your ass will be in jail for a fucking long time, my friend. (Smoking is another thing I am not too fond of. I live in a household of smokers and every time I breathe in smoke, I feel like I am about to fucking die.) -Hey, do me all a favor, now that you have seen all my rules and regulations, tell me if you want a story based on this. I swear it will not use as much cursing this time. (I did follow the rules this time. I did make it start out G-Rated. I like R-rated stories. Some of them are funny,) -Now, this meeting is adjourned. Good night and good fight. (took off of Celebrity Deathmatch) Chapter three: I need ur help!!!
I need some serious help, Mentally and physically. Ok, first on my meeting: How in the world am I going to make a story out of this? Also for Icess- America's sake, I think I can arrange for one of my slaves to shove Jericho in the closet. He deserves to die, but then Christian has to go, (Not that I care), but Edge, he cant leave. No, he can stay, just for my own pure amusment. H will be my ass-clown, him and John Cena, but once Cena becomes useless to me, out the fucking door he goes!!! Well, I can do all that, just fine and dandy, but now how in the world do I make all this become a story? I have the characters down pact, its how to actually put them into perspective that I cant do. Maybe u all can help me/ (Puts on the puppy dog eyes) Pleeasseee? (Oh yeah, if this chapter is rewritten with one and two, I am sorry. Its because I have no idea how to make a whole new chapter. ) Now, Mentally? (Lays down) well, u see it all started about 5 years ago. My mommy never loved me. She put all her attention to my stupid stepfather. (Not true at all, but I am bored right now) (Watch me get flamed for this) But, if u do want to give me therapy, I would apprieciate it. My number is 1-718-Cena Sucks. Thanks for taking the time to hear me out. I will see you all when I figure out how to do this. Hopefully, I will get this done in a week or so. Thank u to all of u who reviewed. (hold up a beer) U guys all rock. I also am holding a beer fest. Everyone who wants to come must say Cena Sucks. See you later Chapter Four: (Amazing at how when u have a writers block, you can get over it very fast. All thanks to Iccess-America as of now) I am gonna be nice right now, but I must fire Booker T. I decided to bring Iccess-America into my story. No, not because she requested it, no she seems cool to me. So, (Kicks Booker T out) Now on with the story. Oh yeah, it is titled The Torture of Chris Jericho. (sorry) Iccess-America is in my cabinet but will be my special advisor for a day.
Now this story officially starts in my office:
KaibaslilDevil: So, why the hell do I see this ass-clown named Jericho in front of me?
Iccess-America: (Sorry if I spell your name wrong) He is here because on Wrestling, he has developed a big head and thinks he is the best.
KaibaslilDevil: (ponders this) Well then, we will have no trial. Jericho, get your ass in jail!!!
Ass-clown: What did I do?!
KaibaslilDevil: You make me sick!!! For ummmmm. disgracing my country, you will be in jail for 100,000 years, with live piranhas.
Ass-clown: (Sobs) Nooo!!! I will be better. (on his knees) Give me one more chance?
Iccess-America: Whoever thought that he could beg? Can he fetch?
KaibaslilDevil: (Laughs) I bet he can. (Turns to Goldberg) What do you think?
Goldberg: I will send him to jail. (Drop-kicks him into a cell. He is next to Death Row) (Oh well, the piranhas will kill him anyway. Listens to his screams with glee) (HAHAHA!)
KaibaslilDevil: Well done, Goldberg. (shakes his hand)
Iccess-America: Next up: Christian.
KaibaslilDevil: Goldberg go sic him and destroy him.
(Goldberg develops an evil grin on his face)
Christian: Please have mercy?
Goldberg: (smirks) What is mercy?
(He drags Chrisian to a deserted island)
(An hour later)
Goldberg: He is taken care of.
Iccess-America: (Applauds) Good job.
KaibaslilDevil: (Growls) Now, bring John Cena to me!!
Goldberg: Sure. (Brings in my other ass-clown. Edge is my first one)
KaibaslilDevil: (Sits in a spinning chair) (They are really cool. I have one upstairs) You were fun for a while, but now you must go. (He was a jester, but after awhile, he gave me a royal headache, the bastard.)
John: Yo, Yo, What the dilly Yo?
KaibaslilDevil: (In disgust) Get him out of my sight!!!
Shawn: Can I take care of him for you?
Iccess-America: Of course you can. (Smiles sweetly)
KaibaslilDevil: (cracks a whip) Down girl! Shawn and HHH are mine. You can have the Hurricane and Matt Hardy if you want. (Do you like them both?)
(5 minutes later)
Shawn: (Smirks) Cena is dead.
KaibaslilDevil: (kisses him) Good boy. (he will be rewarded after the story. Cough ahem)
Iccess-America: Bring Bishoff to me.
(Now heres the catch. My best friend Norma wants to kill Bishoff, so you get a 5- minute break now. Bring me some coffee, please?)
(Bitch-ass is brought to me) (He will now be referred to as Bitch-ass)
KaibaslilDevil: Now, as president of this wonderful country, and of the WWE, you are fired, yes I said FIRED!
Bishoff: But I like my job.
Kaibaslildevil: Norma, sic him.
Norma; With pleasure. (Flashes me a grin) (Well, they go backstage and well, needless to say Bishoff is dead. Stone Cold also followed them out to see the action.)
Iccess-America: Here is your coffee, boss.
KaibaslilDevil: (Hands her a 100-dollar bill) Thank you very much.
(Now time to take out Vince McMahon himself)
Vince: (Comes in) I am supposed to be the president of the WWE. Who the hell are you?
KaibaslilDevil: I am the president of this country, and of WWE.
Vince: How?
KaibaslilDevil: We bought it from Stephanie.
Vince: you can't do that.
Iccess-America: We can do whatever we please. You, Mr. McMahon, are fired!!!
Vince: (Looks at her) You can't fire me.
KaibaslilDevil: As my assistant, yes she can. If not her, then I will. YOU'RE FIRED!!!
Vince: (Sobs) But why?
Iccess-America: For being an asshole.
(Goldberg carries him outside, then kills him)
KaibaslilDevil: Well, that went well.
Iccess-America: (Shakes my hand) oh I agree. Be back tomorrow?
KaibaslilDevil: Yeah, sure.
(So, who should I get rid of next? I am trying to make WWE a nice and peaceful place. I made Cena, Bitch-ass, Vince, Christian and Jericho dead, because we don't need them. They do nothing to help improve the WWE, especially John Cena. Anybody else that needs to go? I vote for the Big Show and A-Train. Its anybody you want, except for HHH and Shawn Michaels. I would like to also kill off Matt Hardy and his Mooreons. They are ridiculous. They have no talent and yet I will admit they are cute, but their attitudes have got to go. )
Thank you to Iccess-America for guest-starring in my fic. She will be back in my next chapter. Now, all I have to do is figure out how I want to torture everyone and I will be ready to rock and roll. See you in my next chapter. Oh yeah, thank you to all who reviewed my story. You all are the best.
Remember to READ AND REVIEW!
Chapter Five: The continuation of Torture.
(Oh yes, I will give Iccess-America a bone later on) U can have Shawn Michaels. But, I refuse to give up Triple H and Spike Dudley, oh yes and James Marsters. Anyways, I decided to kill off Jazz, Kevin Nash, Steven Richards, Victoria, Rico, Ric Flair, Big Show, A-Train, 3 minute Warning, and Mankind. No offense against Mankind, but he has become annoying in all the episodes I have seen. Oh yeah and the Legion of Doom, aka the Road Warriors.
(now on with my ficcie)
Goldberg: Ah, I feel good today.
Stone Cold: Why is that, Goldberg?
Goldberg: I get to kill a lot of people today.
Stone Cold: (Looks at the roster) With all these killings, we may have to make one more chapter.
(Two limos arrive and Iccess-America and KaibaslilDevil steps out) (Yes, we both have our own limos)
Iccess-America: So, who should I bring forth first?
KaibaslilDevil: Bring me Jazz.
Iccess-America: Shawn, go get me Jazz. (Shawn is ur man slave and Triple H is my man slave)
(Shawn brings Jazz to her)
Iccess-America: Good boy. (throws him a bone) Go fetch!!
KaibaslilDevil: Jazz, for being a bitch to Trish, and for capturing the Womens Title, I hereby fire u.
Iccess-America: That's it? Kill her off.
KaibaslilDevil: If I kill off everyone, then there won't be enough people on this earth. Some people have to be around so I can torture them.
Iccess-America: Oh, good point.
Triple H: I bring u the Road Warriors.
KaibaslilDevil: Iccess-America, u can enlist punishment this time.
Iccess-America: I order u to dress like a girl and have sex with Edge backstage.
Road Warriors: (Grins) Cool. (They are gay as it is) 9Ahem, anyways)
Edge: Want me to bring u Steven Richards, before I have sex with the Road Warriors.
KaibaslilDevil: Yeah, make urself useful.
(Edge brings in Steven Richards for me)
KaibaslilDevil: Since u wanted him here, u can kill him off.
(I sit back and watch this)
Iccess-America: I think u can go jump off a bridge.
Kaibaslildevil: Not gruesome enough.
Iccess-America: Hey, who came up with Steven Richards in the first place?
KaibaslilDevil: (Backs off) Ok, ok I'm sorry.
(He jumps off a bridge into a nice pool of hot lava.)
KaibaslilDevil: Bring out Victoria.
(Victoria comes out)
Victoria: U killed Stevie!! (Breaks into sobs)
KaibaslilDevil: (Takes her to a remote island) U can join him now. (I decide to let sharks eat her)
Iccess-America: Can I kill Rico now?
KaibaslilDevil: Sure, only if I get to kill off Kevin Nash.
(These are all the murders I will do tonight. Tomorrow, I will kill off everybody else.)
(Iccess-America eats Rico alive. Ummm.. I have been watching Saving Silverman too many times.)
(I, on the other hand, Beat Nash to a bloody pulp with my steel millennium rod. Ummm. it's a Yu-gi-oh thing) Iccess-America: Well, my job is done here. Shall I be back tomorrow to kill off anyone else?
Kaibaslildevil: sure. Maybe we will think of some other people to kill off. Must look up roster tonight. See you later)
(She leaves, Shawn Michaels with her)
(There u go, u got ur bone. Happy now? Yes u can keep Shane McMahon and Hurricane. Please do. I am happy with my men. Must please them tonight)
(Hope u all enjoyed that chapter. Must go and see about that roster now. See you all either tomorrow, or on Friday)
READ AND REVIEW!!
Chapter Six: Back to Torture, again. (This is my last chapter. See you in another story, Iccess-America.)
I changed my mind in killing Mankind. I will spare him in this story. I decided to bring back Iccess-America. I have no idea how we hit it off, but oh well. She makes a good assistant.
Undertaker: I demand to take out F.B.I.
KaibaslilDevil: Wait! Let Rhyno and Benoit help you.
Undertaker: Sure and Nathan Jones.
(They all take out F.B.I. YAY! I finally took them out. They will be in the hospital for a long time.)
Eddie and Chavo: Can we take out Benjamin and Haas? (Kurt is already out. YAY to Brock!)
Iccess-America: Of course you can.
(Once Team Angle is unconscious, I decide to fire them. YAY! U suck!!)
Brock: I wanna take out Big Show.
Undertaker: I get A-Train.
Rey: I will help u.
(Nathan Jones is hurt. F.B.I. broke his ankle.)
(Big show and A-Train are dead by the time I come out)
KaibaslilDevil: (Spits on them) Now, u can Rest in Peace in Hell.
Trish: Can I take on Molly Holly?
Iccess-America: Yeah, sure.
(Molly-Holly dies by me. Trish stabs her and I electrocute her. Now, I will admit that some of the girls can wrestle, but most of them are bitches. Trsih,Sable and Torrie are cool, also Jackie is ok)
Torrie: I team with Spanky to take on Jamie and Nidia.
KaibaslilDevil: Good idea. (They have a street fight, which Torrie and Spanky won. I fire Jamie and Nidia.)
Sable: I take on Dawn Marie. (I am keeping Sable nice in this story.)
(Dawn marie is eaten by Sable. Why? It beats me. I let Iccess-America eat Rico, so she can eat Dawn Marie.)
KaibaslilDevil: Since I know u all love Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore, they will stay, but I kill off Crash. ) (Shannon Moore is my ass-clown, but Matt Hardy is Iccess-America's ass clown)
Dudley Boyz: Whazzaaappp?!
Iccess-America: U can take out 3-minute Wraning.
Bubba Ray: D'Von get the table.
(They get the table and with Spike, they do a 3-D on Jamal. Spike is back in the Dudley Boyz. Goldberg comes out and spears Rosey. Then follows that up with the Jackhammer.)
KaibaslilDevil: Jamal and Rosey: Ur three minutes is up. UR FIRED!
Shane: You are doing a good job here.
KaibaslilDevil: Thank you.
Iccess-America: My boy toy.
Goldberg: (Picks him up) Here, go fetch.
(He throws Shane) Don't worry, u catch him. I have Brock though.
Stone Cold: I bring back Randy "Macho-Man" Savage.
Hogan: It feels good now that u are back, brother.
Savage: Oh yeah. Its great to be here.
Piper: What the hell are u doing here?
Savage: To aid my pal.
O'Haire: You're on ur own, piper. I am through kissing ur ass.
KaibaslilDevil: Come to me and u will be immortal. O'Haire: (Shrugs) Eh, why not?
(YAY! He is my new boy-toy. Hell, for Sean O'Haire: I'll even give up HHH. Have fun, Iccess-America!)
HHH: How could u?
KaibaslilDevil: Because I love Sean. Here, have Iccess-America instead.
Iccess-America: YAY! I swear u are the best!! (Jumps around singing I got HHH) (Just don't let this go to ur head, ok?) Sorry, but Hogan loses to Piper. I love Piper, despite the fact that he is an asshole.
Piper: I pinned u One Two Three, Hogan.
(Oops, I mean Mr. America when I say Hogan. Sorry) (Wait: I fired Vince, so.)
Kaibaslildevil: Hogan is now back in business.
Hogan: (Kisses her) Thank u.
Iccess-America: I have one more person to kill.
Kaibaslildevil: Who?
Iccess-America: Stephanie. Shane should own Smackdown! Instead.
(We kick her out.There she is now fired and all the guys can take her home and comfort her, like I know one of my guy-friends would like to do.) (Rolls her eyes: Anyways)
Shane: So, I am the manager?
Iccess-America: of Smackdown!
Shane: Thanks. See you later.
(Now I must think of what to do next. I think I will make Iccess-America a referee for a match I am dreaming up. I will let u know after I get one more review)
See you all later.
READ AND REVIEW!!!! I think I will make one more chapter just to make iccess happy.
Chapter Seven: HHH and Iccess together Forever.
(Now I know I said this would be my last fic, but iccess requested one more chapter. )
iccess: (Looks at the title) COOL!!!!!!!! I get HHH!!!!!!!!
KaibaslilDevil: Yeah well u let me have Sean O'Haire, so I owe this to u.
Iccess: (hugs me) Thank u. U are a great friend.
KaibaslilDevil: (Smiles down at her) So are u. (I'm 17 so naaahhh! I am older than u)
Iccess: (Pouts) So what? We are equal in heart?
KaibasilDevil: (Smirks) Whoever said I have a heart?
Sean: (Kisses her) I said u do.
KaibaslilDevil: I hate it when u do that!!!
Sean: (Laughs) Why? Because it proves it u wrong?
KaibaslilDevil: (Sticks out her tongue) Go jump in an ocean.
Iccess: (laughs) Come on guys, be nice.
Sean: (Gives HHH to her). Here, now leave us alone!!!
(We go into our bedroom to ahem talk out our problems)
HHH: (His real name is seriously Paul?) So u are the famous iccess I have heard so much about?
Iccess: (Stars in her eyes) Yes I am. (Down girl bad girl!)
HHH: (Weird look in his eyes) Uh-huh. (Looks her up and down) Mmmm.not bad at all. So, would u go out with me?
Iccess: (Jumps into his arms with a squeal) YAY! I would love to. (A yes would have been fine)
KaibaslilDevil: (Sees this from her room) Good for u, iccess.
Sean: (smiles softly) She deserves to be happy.
And so we all live in my white house and of course I rule the US and I still have the WWE. I hope u all enjoyed this story, but it did suck like Hell. Anyways, see you in all my later stories. Iccess, this chapter was for u.
READ AND REVIEW!