Grey
Chapter 3: Hyde and Jackie see each other again. Hyde hopes but is Jackie ready to forgive?
Statement: I don't know how long this is going to be. But it'll be a little longer before we get to the happy ending (if there is one –okay that isn't believable – there will be one – but more Hyde angst first).
Song: Grey by Tinker's Punishment
did you wake up grey today
call it a complex
or is that just your way
of feeling anxious and overused
worn out these shoes
but you're always so sure now
i didn't even have to hear you speak
cause even if i could
do everything that you would have me do
did you wake up lonely now
i've seen you smile that way before
but could you show me how
you'll swallow what's in store
what are you gonna do
Hyde was pacing behind the couch when she walked in. He looked up and their eyes met and held. He couldn't believe how much he had missed her. He thought it had been a lot –but he was wrong. It had been a lot more than that. He realized he hadn't really taken a deep breath since she'd left. He took one now. She took one too. She looked different – her hair was longer – her clothes more styled. She looked older. Her eyes looked older too. She looked like a woman who had lost something and wanted it back or maybe - Hyde thought bitterly –like a woman who had something she wanted to lose. Either way he was glad she was back. Because win or lose (his heart) he had to have her in his life. He needed her. He was done letting people walk away. But she'd come back- that had to mean something. I mean she had to come back for school but she could have transferred or something. Should he hope? Or give up that pansy ass Foreman hobby altogether. Oh GOD –this was ridiculous –they'd been staring at each other for ten minutes. Say something Hyde.
"Say something Steven."
Oh holy government conspiracies Batman, she was reading his mind now. He coughed and took a step forward.
"Hey Jacks"
She let out a shaky breath that she'd been holding. Hyde wondered why.
"Hey Steven". More silence, more staring. This was going nowhere.
"So how was New York?"
"Fine"
"Good"
"Good?" she was getting defensive now. The hell?
"Well not good – I mean I'm glad your summer didn't suck"
"Well it did"
"Um I'm sorry"
"Well you should be it was your fault"
"My fault?" They were shouting now. So much for his dream reunion.
"Yeah"
"You were the one who left"
"Well You were the one who…" Jackie stopped. And he was glad one of them had been big enough to do it before they said any more. Why am I doing this? he thought. Why am I fighting with her? He had spent the whole summer trying to think up sweet non-Hyde things to say to make her forgive him and now he was…
"Look Jacks. I'm not good at this. I'm sorry. I'm not good at being sorry. I'm just good at pretending to not care. But I do and I'm sorry. And look my summer sucked too. More than any summer previously. Even more than the summer that Bud got drunk and sold all our furniture and I had to borrow Foreman's G. I. Joe sleeping bag to use as a bed. It sucked."
Well now he was ruining this. She had her back turned and he was pleading his case to a mop of luxurious black hair. He'd probably have better luck with a bottle of conditioner.
"Jacks I…"
"What'd he spend the money on?"
"What?" was he lost? Shouldn't she be breaking up with him about now? Again, just for good measure.
"When he sold your bed? Bud?"
"OH…uh more booze of course. And I think Edna found part of it and got her hair done."
"oh" she seemed sad for him. And pity was not what he wanted from her.
"Yeah no big. It was an analogy. Just trying to describe the quality of suck here".
"Okay" she nodded. Understanding his need to not receive sympathy.
"So we both had bad summers. Do you think that means something?"
"Do you?" she looked pretty hopeful herself.
"Well I guess that would depend on why our summers sucked"
"Why did yours?" God she was going to make him work for this. Well here goes.
"Because I missed you. I hurt you and you left and I wasn't sure you were coming back – and I couldn't blame you if you didn't."
"Steven…" she tried to stop him but he was on a roll and when a man of few words gets started it is hard to stop him.
"And every time the Price is right came on I wanted to die. And I'd go to turn it off but I couldn't because at the same time it reminded me of you and last summer and I didn't want to forget those good memories..
"Steven don't"
"No, you need to know..
"I need to leave." She started to run again but he grabbed her arm to keep her there – she didn't pull away – she just looked at the place where their skin and bodies touched. And looked sad. He let go. She took a step in as he released. Hope. He took it as a good sign. A good sign that was walking out the door. He watched and as she stepped out –but she turned at the last minute and looked him in eye. She gave a half smile.
"I missed you too". She turned again to leave. He began to smile when she turned around again.
"and I didn't turn on the T.V. once" then she left. He let the smile finish. Hope.