Once I
Song credit: Jump, Little Children, Once I.
Statement: Next chapter is the last folks. I'm ready for my happy ending.
Once I, looked back but never turned around
Now I hear footsteps
Once I, heard something that I meant to say
Now I see silhouettes
Once came one to many times
Now I see you only once in a while
Once I, fell for you falling into sleep
Now I'm just falling
Once I, stood on the edge of getting up
Now I'm just stalling
Once came one too many times
Now I see you only once In a while
If I am pretending not to hear
Then don't make a sound
I can hear you whisper in my ear
When you're not around
While I hear you say
Once in a while I hear you say
Once I, took what I meant to give away
Now I just hold on
Once I, gave up the thought of holding back
Now I just go along
Once came one too many times
Now I see you only once in awhile
If by chance I see you once more time
Will I hear you say "one more chance"Jackie had been home for about a week and he had only seen her once. That had been a brief encounter that was awkward but not necessarily unproductive. He'd found out about her finishing high school and her upcoming plans for college. He knew she had been accepted to several different schools. Which of course gave him a new source of brooding material. It appeared he didn't have her back yet. The only good news he had was it appeared Kelso was done vying for Jackie's attention. Kelso even seemed to be okay with the idea of a Hyde/Jackie reconciliation. Weird. Now if he could only get her to be okay with the idea. He wasn't really seeing her enough to go about that though. But he wanted to give her time, time to miss him, time to realize she needed him. By the second week he was beginning to wonder if she did. But patience was a virtue and Hyde was determined to develop the trait. But as the weekend of the third week drew to a close –he'd had enough. He lay in bed, not sleeping per usual, thinking of ways to be sweet and understanding and suddenly something snapped. He sat bolt upright in bed "Screw this" he thought. He was Hyde not some pansy and if he was going to get her back he was gonna do it his way. Which meant no pining and waiting and hoping for the best. It was time for action. He pulled on his boots and jeans and walked out the door.
"Jackie wake up" Hyde gently shook the object of his frustration. Sneaking into the Pinciottis' was entirely too easy. Now he was trying to get Jackie up and out without waking and angering Donna.
"Steven? What are you doing here?" His pixie was up now, rubbing her eyes and searching out the clock. "It's 2:30 in the morning."
In all honesty Hyde didn't know what he was doing there. He'd just knew that he couldn't take this any longer. But that had been his thought 4 minutes ago looking at her now he knew he would. If that was what she needed. She was looking at him, still not awake enough to guard her emotions. She was looking at him tenderly and all he wanted to do was kiss her.
"I need to talk to you"
"Again, at 2:30 in the morning?"
"You don't need your beauty sleep –come on?" He reached out his hand – the smile his compliment had put on her face wavered –but ultimately stayed. She took his hand grabbed her robe and followed him out the door.
"What's this about Steven?" Jackie asked after they'd walked about a block away from the Foreman's. She obviously wasn't letting that question go anytime soon. He motioned for her to have a seat on a nearby garden bench.
"I don't want to do this anymore". She looked startled, then hurt, then angry but Hyde rushed to silence her and finish what he needed to say. "Don't get mad. I'm not saying that I don't deserve to be in this position. I will wait for you to be able to forgive me. However long it takes. But you have been back for weeks now and school starts soon and you know we haven't talked. I don't know what you are doing. I don't know what you are thinking. And the guessing and the wondering - well man - it's making me crazy."
"Steven…" she began but he could tell she was about to put him off. Tell him she couldn't decide, needed more time, and suddenly the frustration came back and he had to stop her.
"No – just please Jacks – shut your pie hole. I need to get this out. I'm tired. I made a mistake. I've paid for it. I've had months, months –to regret and hate myself and miss you and I did. And I think I deserve a second chance"
"You do"
"Jackie no talking! I've thought about this –day in and day out. Yes I should have trusted you. Yes I shouldn't have been so insecure. But that isn't easy for me. I need you to understand that. And I need you to believe that I would never cheat on you again. I don't want anyone else but you – I never did. I was just so damn jealous. And so damn pissed at myself for it. I mean its Kelso? But it was just a moment of unthinking blind stupidity. And if you can't see that…"
"I can"
"then I don't know what to do. What can I do to prove to you that I love you? I love you. First love –only love- and I promise you if this doesn't work out –Last love –because I'm not doing this crap again. Foreman can have this roller coaster shit I ain't got the stomach for it. And let me tell you something…." Hyde was on a roll now, he'd had a summer of silence, of brooding and holding in and waiting. He had reached a breaking point. He was going to say everything he needed to say. And he wasn't letting a little thing like listening to Jackie stand in his way.
Okay guys – I don't like the way I ended this chapter but it was necessary. Next one is the last.