Title: Promise
Summary: Heero is very sick and he tries to hide it from Duo. Duo has vowed never to lose anyone again like Solo, and when he finds out, he will do everything he can to save his friend. But it may be too late, and he may be forced to do the unthinkable. *finished* *deathfic*
Author: wild horse; for archiving, email me: wild_horse1987@yahoo.com.sg
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing; I'm making NO money out of this.
Acknowledgments: Jesus, Padawan Nik-ka, and Nat
a/n: is it too late to give a *deathfic* warning? :) Last chapter!!! Thanks for reading thus far.
Chapter 7:
Duo kept watch over Heero as the other boy slept. Heero managed to snatch about a half hour's rest before the pain brought him back to consciousness, and Duo had to stop again for him to vomit. Duo noted that Heero didn't have much to throw up, just some blood, and realised that his friend probably hadn't eaten in a very long time.
"Shit," Duo cursed as he reached the top of a hill.
Heero didn't bother to ask why – he could see for himself. There was an OZ roadblock below, patrolled by a car and 2 guards.
Duo didn't bother to slow down, he knew that even if the guards couldn't recognise his face and Heero's immediately, they would know something was amiss once they spotted the injured pilot. He crashed through the roadblock at top speed, hearing the guards shout in surprise. As he passed, he lowered the window and pulled off two shots. He thought he hit one of them in the head, and the other in the stomach – he couldn't be sure. He dumped the gun on the floor beside him.
"Okay, now they know," Duo admitted to Heero. "After I drive past them and shoot them in the face, they should know."
"Hn," Heero grunted.
"Duo?" the comm. unit crackled to life a few minutes later. It was Wufei.
"Yeah?"
"You're going to be ambushed. Run into a trap."
"How do you know?" Duo retorted, although he was glad for Wufei's information.
"Radar. Look, I can bring Deathscythe to a junction about half an hour away from where you are, and we can run off from there. They can't stop Gundams."
Duo shook his head, although Wufei wouldn't be able to see the gesture, "No. Where are the patrol cars?"
"Behind you, and coming up in front. You can't escape."
"I've got to get Heero to the hospital."
Heero took a deep breath and interrupted, "Do it Wufei."
"No," Duo snapped.
"Shut up," Heero said softly, "Wufei, do it."
"Okay, 30 minutes from now. Sixth junction from your present position. Pilot 05 out," Wufei signed off before Duo could get a reply in.
"Shit, Heero. You know you're sick, and we need to get you to a hospital," Duo burst out.
"I'm sorry, Duo," Heero's voice was so low and soft, it was difficult to pick up.
"For what?" Duo asked, but he was afraid to know the answer.
"Not keeping the promise," Heero closed his eyes as another wave of pain and nausea assaulted him. He retched again, but this time, didn't throw up.
"No," Duo looked down at his hands, clenched tightly around the steering wheel, then looked up again at the road. "No. Shit! No! Dammit Heero, you'll get better. You will!" he turned to look at the other pilot, but Heero's face was as blank and expressionless as ever, not betraying any of the pain he must have been feeling, his dark-blue eyes staring fixedly at the road ahead.
"Please. It's not true. It can't be true," Duo was forcing back desperation. "Just hang on, Hee-chan. They can make you better at the hospital."
Heero shook his head slowly.
"They have a cure," Duo ventured, although he knew what it was that was happening.
The Japanese pilot shook his head again, then started coughing violently.
"No, I won't let you die," Duo said. "You won't die, you'll recover."
There was a long silence, and Duo had counted down 16 minutes after Wufei had signed off, before Heero spoke again.
"You should go, with Wufei."
"No," Duo said. "I'm not leaving you."
There was a pause, then Heero said, "Do something for me."
"What? I'll do anything," Duo answered immediately.
"Shoot me."
Duo was so shocked, he stopped the truck without knowing it and turned to face Heero. "No."
Heero took another deep breath, "I won't live. They're coming, and I'll slow you down. You know it."
"No, you're not gonna die. Okay? Just get it into your head, you're not gonna die!" Duo's voice was raised.
"Damn you, Duo, just do it," he was breathing heavily after the exertion of speaking.
"No."
Heero turned to face his partner, his gaze as intense as ever, but Duo could see beyond it, see into the pain and hurt, both physical and emotional. "I don't want to do it," he paused for awhile, "And I don't want to die because OZ made me sick. That only leaves you."
"No," Duo was on the verge of crying now. "No," but he knew it to be true.
Heero closed his eyes and tried to tame his ragged breathing. "9 minutes more," he reminded his partner.
Duo started the car again, numb with fear. He could tell that Heero's strength was fading with time, and he knew, that even if Heero could live until tomorrow, he wouldn't recover. Face it, Duo forced himself to stare right into the truth that he'd been avoiding the past few days.
The next 5 or so minutes passed quickly, and they were at the junction before Wufei arrived.
"We're there," Duo told his partner softly. He got out of his seat and walked around to the passenger's side, opening the door.
"Hn," Heero nodded, but barely. "Do it. Please," the Japanese boy picked up his gun.
Duo took the gun from Heero's hand, noticing that his own hands were trembling. He put it down, then flung his arms around Heero, hugging him fiercely. "I love you."
Heero closed his eyes and embraced the other pilot, "I know."
Then Duo moved back, away from Heero. He shook his head fiercely, then asked quietly, "Are you sure?"
"Hn," Heero coughed a bit more.
Duo bent down and picked the gun up slowly, checking to make sure the bullets were still inside. He raised the gun, remembering how, when he and Heero had first met, he had shot the other boy, and then how, they had become the best of friends. The emotion threatened to drown him, push him over. He closed one eye and sighted the gun.
"Dammit, Heero, I can't!" Duo dropped the pistol onto the floor again, his voice quavering, "I just can't." He looked at Heero, silently pleading with his partner to get better, to say that he would live and that he wouldn't have to shoot him, "Don't make me do it."
Heero looked away uncomfortably, unable to take the brokenness and fear in the violet eyes. "Shit, Duo, I'm sorry I had to do this to you," he said softly. "I'm sorry."
Duo could hear the regret in Heero's voice. He shook his head slowly, "I can't." Every part of him wanted Heero to stay alive, to be with him on the next mission. "I'd rather kill myself."
Heero turned back to his friend, searching the other boy's eyes out with his own, "Remember your wish?"
Duo nodded slowly.
"Don't give up on it. Someday, everything will turn out all right," Heero suppressed another bout of violent coughing, then continued, "Then you've got to be there to claim it. For yourself, and for me too."
Violet eyes stared back into dark-blue ones, seeing the faint hope there that still lingered. "Heero, you know I can't do it!"
"Please," Heero's voice had dropped to a barely audible whisper, and his face muscles tensed as the pain intensified yet again, tearing through him like a knife. He looked back at Duo. This time, he was almost begging his friend, but couldn't, because Perfect Soldiers never did.
Duo closed his eyes as he realised that he'd been selfish, wanting Heero to be with him, not thinking about the other pilot. One thing Heero had always dreaded was to die at the hands of the enemy. He had told no one else but Duo, a long time ago, soon after they'd first met. Now he was asking of Duo a last favour, a favour the long-haired boy knew he could not deny. Duo knew Heero would have shot himself, but he trusted Duo, loved the other boy enough to ask it of him.
He swallowed hard, then opened his eyes, and found himself looking into Heero's again.
Do it.
He bent down and brought the gun up once again.
"Thanks," Heero didn't close his eyes – he was ready to stare death straight in the face. By now, his voice was so soft, Duo had to strain to hear it.
"I'll love you always, Hee-chan," Duo whispered, then, forcing himself to keep his eyes open so that he wouldn't aim wrongly, he snapped off two shots. Dark-blue eyes closed for the last time, and Duo knew Heero had died instantly.
He stepped forward and pushed the blood-stained hair over to cover Heero's eyes – the pilot looked more at peace than he had ever been.
Shit.
He's dead.
Duo took a few steps back, suddenly afraid. He grabbed the comm. unit, stuffing it and Heero's gun into his duffel, then ran to the back of the truck and rummaged through the boxes before finding the explosive charges, which he rigged to the truck. He picked up the remote and pushed it into his pocket – Wufei had brought some extra explosives – then looked up as he heard the whine of sirens.
Patrol cars. The first one would be here in seconds.
Duo swore, pulled out the comm. unit, and thumbed it on. "Wufei?"
"Almost there. 1 minute."
Duo hesitated, then ran away from the truck, hiding behind a clump of bushes nearby. From there, he watched as two OZ soldiers stepped out of the car and walked to the pick-up truck, alert for any sign of danger.
Damn them. Duo thought. Damn OZ and this stupid war. He fingered the remote with his left hand. With one press of the button, he could end it all. The explosion would kill him as well, end his life.
Don't give up on it.
Heero's words were still fresh in his mind.
Dammit. Why did he have to get sick? Why did I have to shoot him? Duo felt like screaming, like going to the OZ soldiers and killing every one of them with his bare hands. They had found Heero's body, now they would be looking for him. All the anger, all the grief and fear, exploded from beneath him as he let it loose, not caring any more. He leapt out from his hiding place, then went for the nearest soldier, hitting him in the back of the head and breaking his neck instantly. The other soldier whipped around, ready to fire, but Duo was upon him as well, smashing a fist into his face. Two more soldiers appeared from the car.
Duo turned upon them, a cold murderous glint in his eyes. They were unarmed. He put his hands around the nearer soldier's neck, applying the pressure. Duo felt the other soldier grab him by the shoulders, trying to pull him away, but he twisted viciously, throwing him off.
Three dead and one unconscious. Duo knew that more were coming, he could hear the sirens. The Gundam pilot reached for the remote again.
Press it, kill them. Kill me.
The sound of Shenlong's boosters interrupted his train of thought. Wufei released the clamp, dropping Deathscythe onto the ground. Duo saw Deathscythe, but he made no move towards his Gundam, just stood there, duffel in one hand, the remote in the other, watching as the patrol cars drew nearer.
I'll go down with them.
His mouth was set in a grim smile. There was no point in living anymore.
"Maxwell!" Wufei yelled over the comm. "Get in! They're coming, you don't stand a chance!"
No, I'm taking them all down with me.
"Maxwell! Damn you! They're going to get the Gundam."
Wufei's second yell shook Duo, as though waking him from a dream.
Duo sprinted towards his Gundam. He heard a shout, and then scattered gunfire, but he got to Deathscythe's cockpit unscathed, and started the Gundam's boosters. He noted that Wufei had remembered to re-fuel his mobile suit.
"Duo?"
Duo realised that he was just hovering there, not bothering to move away.
"Shit," he cursed himself out loud, not caring if Wufei heard or not. He saw that the soldiers were trying to take Heero's body out of the truck, and he couldn't stand it any longer. He screamed and hit the remote. "Bastards! You're not going to get him. Never!"
Wufei didn't bother to ask what was happening as the truck exploded in a ball of fire, he just sent the safe house coordinates to Duo's autopilot so the other pilot would know where to go.
Instinctively, Duo pointed Deathscythe in the right direction once he'd received the coordinates, then stepped on the acceleration. The autopilot kicked in after a few kilometres or so, only then did Duo let go of the controls and notice that his hands were shaking uncontrollably. He switched off the receiver so Wufei could still contact him but not hear what was going on.
Don't cry. Don't. The last time he had cried, it had been when Solo had died. Never. Never again, he had vowed, would he cry, or lose someone else he loved like this. Just standing there while they died.
But he had.
I let it happen. I shot him, dammit!
He tried to stop his hands from shaking, but he couldn't. He was trembling all over, he didn't know from fear or anger. He briefly contemplated the self-destruct button, then realised that it wasn't fool-proof. As he looked around the cockpit, he could see blood splashed everywhere – Heero's blood. He could smell it – the almost unbearable iron-like stench. It assaulted his senses, driving him mad.
He's dead.
I shot him. Shit! I shot my best friend.
Duo pulled Heero's gun from his duffel, then shoved it under his chin. He knew it would blow his brains out, and he didn't care anymore.
What wish? Heero, I don't see any. Nothing's gonna be okay again. How can it ever be?
Eyes closed, he squeezed the trigger, but it only clicked, and no bullet came crashing through his skull. He released the trigger, then tried once more.
Nothing.
Duo pulled the gun away and checked the magazine. It was empty. Shit.
He knew. Heero had put only two bullets in, because he had known this would happen.
'Someday, everything will turn out all right.'
Damn.
'Then you've got to be there to claim it. For yourself, and for me too.'
Damn you, damn you, Heero.
Duo threw the gun on the floor, then buried his head in his hands and cried.
*end*
(or maybe not… may be TBC)
a/n: thanks for reading this through all the way, and reviewing, of course. :) just a note, it's not yaoi, at least, I hope not. Duo and Heero are just very very very good friends ;). Sorry to disappoint anyone who thought it was, I just thought I would try to write good angst without yaoi, because I DO think that Heero and Duo belong together, but well, not in that kind of way, so I'm trying to see how far a non-yaoi relationship could go. How effective was I? maybe you could tell me. Might write a sequel to this. Which is AU anyway. Any takers? - wild horse