A note from the Hime no Argh herself-
I just recently discovered something nice–I can actually upload to ff.net from my own comp. I used to think that I had to do it at school and use the little save as web page command on the word processor...but wouldn't you know, I have that on my own word processor as well. ^_^;; Just like the Hime to miss that.
Anyway, I've got some good (actually, great) news–I'm just about finished with my college apps! I've gotten out the SUNY Purchase common app, the Emerson app, and the Hampshire app. All I have to do now is fill out the SUNY Purchase app part II (when they send it), the Ithaca app, and the CSS Form, as well as send my SAT scores to all my colleges. I know that seems like a lot more, but to me it's a huge relief to know I have till March to do most of it.
So expect more updates and yadda yadda. Thanks to everyone for reading.
Oh, by the way, check below the chapter for the answer to a reader question. Don't hesitate to ask questions (about the story) in reviews, I'll try to answer them as best I can from here on in.
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Chapter 8
Dreams and Reality
"Dammit, I am seriously thirsty," Tidus cried, clutching his throat dramatically. "I'm so thirsty I could just fall over and die. I've never been so thirsty. There are no words to describe my-"
"Oh, shut up," Auron said at last, passing him the water canteen. "Don't forget that we have to save that, as in ration, as in if we don't we might run out and die before we get halfway across the Calm Lands."
"Okay," Tidus said brightly, taking as small a drink as he could manage. It was high noon and he, Auron, Jecht, and Kimahri had been walking for merely half a day across the dry, dusty Calm Lands. But the weather was hot and there wasn't a puddle of water to be seen, and they were all weary from their trek across the mountain. Tidus, however, refused to stall any more than they absolutely needed to. Yuna was waiting, after all.
"I want a drink too," Jecht mumbled as Tidus passed the canteen back to Auron.
Auron sighed in exasperation and shoved the water into his hands. "You two are such children. You'll regret it if we run out."
"We won't run out," Tidus said cheerily as Jecht took a large gulp. "There's no fiends here, either. With the time we're making we'll reach the rest stop by nightfall."
"If we're lucky," Auron growled, snatching the canteen out of Jecht's hands.
For a while they walked without chatting, then Jecht suddenly gave a low chuckle. "Remember when me n' you came through here with Braska, Auron?"
"Don't remind me," Auron groaned, rolling his eyes toward the sky.
"What happened?" Tidus asked curiously.
Jecht grinned broadly. "Well, it all started when we ran outta water-"
"You're not really going to tell it, are you, Jecht?" Auron demanded.
"'Course I am! It's too funny to pass up." When Auron merely sighed and shook his head, Jecht continued. "All we had between us was half of a tiny canteen, barely more 'n a few mouthfuls, and Auron's jug of sake."
"Uh-oh," Tidus said, grinning despite himself. "I bet I know where this is going."
"No, you really can't comprehend it," Auron muttered, holding a hand to his forehead.
"Anyways, like I was sayin'," Jecht said meaningfully. "See, I'd sworn off all liquor long since 'cause a' that whole shoopuf incident an' all. Seemed we were in a bind, but Braska said, well, why don't we give Jecht the water an' Auron n' I can drink the sake?"
"Only we didn't know that Braska had never had a drink a day in his life," Auron added dryly.
"You're kidding!" Tidus exclaimed.
"Hey, you ain't even heard the best part!" Jecht laughed. "So there I was, drinkin' the water, an' Auron an' Braska were sharin' the sake, when alluva sudden Braska started t'sing-"
"-the Hymn of the Fayth," Auron finished, shaking his head. "At the top of his lungs, may I add."
Tidus burst out laughing, and even Kimahri gave a low chuckle.
"Drunk as a fiddle, right, Auron? An' not only was he singin', but Braska was actually dancin'! Like a big bird in that outfit a' his, flappin' around!"
"Thank goodness there was no one around to see him," Auron muttered, shaking his head sadly as if the mere memory of the incident caused him great embarrassment.
"Poor guy had a massive hangover," Jecht added sympathetically. "Couldn't even walk. Me n' Auron took turns carrying him on our backs all the way to Gagazet. He couldn't keep down anythin' but snow fer a whole day." He shrugged. "Some men just can't hold their liquor."
"Like you?" Tidus put in.
Jecht shot him a glare. "Don't you start, kid."
Auron tapped a finger against his sake jug as if he just remembered it was there. "Speaking of liquor, I wonder where I can get this filled."
"Auron, Auron, Auron," Jecht said, tsking. "Ain'chu learned anythin' from our experiences?"
"Yes," Auron retorted. "Keep the sake far away from Braska and Jecht."
* * *
It was a stroke of luck finding Brother in Guadosalam. Once Rikku had a chance to converse with him and learn what the problem was, they decided to pool their resources and head to Bikanel Island together. Yuna and her friends had enough Gil between them to pay for the fuel, and Brother had the means to transport them to the island where the new Home was located, near the site of the old one.
Rikku and Brother led the way on the path that would take them to the coast west of Guadosalam, conversing in rapid-fire Al Bhed. Brother seemed to have gotten over his anger with Rikku and, from the few words Yuna understood in their conversation, was likely catching her up on the news from Home. Yuna herself followed behind with Lulu, neither of them speaking. Before long, however, it became impossible to keep silent.
"Lulu," Yuna began.
"Yes?" Lulu said immediately, as if she'd been waiting.
Yuna stared at her toes, aware that her cheeks were growing hot. "What's happening to me?" she mumbled. "Why do I see him when he's not really there? Am I going crazy?"
It seemed to take Lulu a very long time to answer. Glancing at her sidelong, Yuna saw that her friend had lapsed into deep thought, and wondered what was going through her mind. Did Lulu think she was crazy too?
Finally Lulu said, in a very quiet voice, "The same thing happened to me."
"What?" Yuna gasped, halting on the path. "You mean you've had these...these hallucinations?"
"Yes, only the healer in Besaid called them 'waking dreams,'" Lulu replied. "It was after Chappu died, you see. Mine weren't as strong as yours- he didn't speak to me, nor I to him. But he appeared to me."
"You never told me," Yuna whispered.
"I didn't want to bother you with my troubles. No one knew, not even Wakka. The only person who did was the old healer on Besaid. I went to her because I wanted the visions to stop. I, like you, thought I was going crazy."
"And she said you weren't?" Yuna said warily.
Lulu nodded. "These hallucinations, these things she called waking dreams, they are the result of our desire and longing. When the loneliness for the ones we have lost because so strong that our hearts cannot bear it, our own minds recreate the person we love in an attempt to ease our pain. You love and miss Tidus, so you see him when you feel alone." She sighed. "Unfortunately, these visions usually only increase our pain, for in the end we must accept that they are not real."
"But I thought I felt him," Yuna protested. "I thought he touched me-"
"If your mind could make you see him there, couldn't it also make you feel his touch?" Lulu asked gently.
Yuna fell silent, biting her lower lip. At last she said, very quietly, "Then what about the dreams I've had? The ones that tell me Tidus is somehow back in Spira? Were those fake as well?"
Lulu put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "I can't tell you whether they were or weren't. But if you feel it's still worth searching for him, then do so. Even if you don't find him, you might find something else, you know?"
"I-I think I understand," Yuna said hesitantly. She smiled faintly, covering Lulu's hand with her own. "Thank you, Lulu."
The woman nodded. "You're welcome. Remember, your friends will always be by your side, no matter what."
* * *
As Tidus predicted, by nightfall the travelers reached the small rest stop in the midst of the Calm Lands, which to the surprise of Tidus, Auron, and Jecht, had turned into a regular wayside inn. Kimahri only shrugged when the three exclaimed over it. "Sin gone," he said simply. "Things change."
"Kimahri summed it up best, hmm?" Auron said later when he found Tidus outside alone, leaning against one of the inn's walls and watching the stars. "Everything's changed, and we still aren't caught up."
"It kinda feels like when I first came here, and it kinda doesn't," Tidus remarked as Auron took a seat beside him.
"How do you mean?"
"Well...when I first came here my mind was still on Zanarkand. But by the end of the pilgrimage it felt like Spira was home and Zanarkand was some far away place that I'd left behind." His tone darkened. "Then I had to leave Spira, too."
Auron merely nodded, so Tidus continued. "But now, coming back...well, things have definitely changed, but it's still Spira. It's still home for me." For a moment he was quiet, gazing up at the stars. "At least, I hope it is."
"It is," Auron said with certainty. "Jecht always knew this was the right place for you."
For a while the two men were silent, watching the moon rise over the Calm Lands, casting its silver sheen over the waving grass. The inn was surprisingly crowded, and through its walls they could hear chatter and laughs. Tidus was sure Jecht was at the center of it all, charming everyone he met. The warm noise was inviting, but Tidus liked it out here just as well, the silence and companionship.
Finally Auron spoke. "May I ask you something?"
"Knock yourself out."
Auron paused for a moment. "You might not like the question."
Tidus glanced at him, wondering why he was so serious all of a sudden. "Then I won't answer."
For some reason that made Auron smile. "Spira is not all that's changed. Well." He paused again.
"Just say it, Auron," Tidus said, a bit restlessly.
"I was just wondering," Auron began. "None of my business, maybe, but..." He turned his dark eyes to Tidus. "Where did you go? When you went away, that is?"
"Shouldn't you know?" Tidus said quietly. "You brought me back, after all."
"True, but it wasn't a matter of finding you. It was more like..." Auron hesitated, as if searching for the right words. "Summoning you to us, I suppose. We never knew where you came from."
"Well, I don't know either," Tidus said restlessly, turning his gaze away. "I don't remember it, and I don't try to."
Auron nodded. "Fair enough."
They lapsed into silence once more.
"It scares me," Tidus mumbled.
Auron looked at him sharply. "What does?"
"Thinking that I'm a dream- was a dream," he amended promptly. "If that's true, then was I even real at all?" His eyes turned to Auron, seeking the answer. "Did I really exist? Did I touch anyone, or change anything? Did I even matter?" His voice broke.
Auron put a hand on his shoulder, gripping it hard. "Tidus, your presence here singlehandedly caused the greatest change Spira has ever seen. The evidence is everywhere. It's right here before your eyes." He indicated the inn. "People in there are laughing, free from their worries after hundreds of years. The world they once knew, full of fear and pain and sorrow, is gone. You destroyed Sin, and in doing so, remade Spira. If that doesn't matter, then I don't know what does."
Tidus sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You're right, Auron. Of course you're right. I just-" He hesitated. "I'm just afraid Yuna won't remember me."
Auron shook his head. "You have nothing to worry about. There's not a thing in this world that could make Yuna forget you."
"You think so?"
"I know so."
Tidus considered that, but seemed more or less reassured. He leaned back against the inn's wall, hands behind his head, gazing up at the sky. "Wonder what she'll say when we find her?" he mused aloud. He smiled. "Bet she'll be surprised!"
"Undoubtedly." Auron groaned as he stood, stretching, then patted Tidus's shoulder. "Don't stay up too late planning the reunion scene."
"No promises!" Tidus said cheerfully as Auron headed back to the inn.
Alone beneath the stars, Tidus soon fell asleep and dreamed of the woman he loved.
* * *
To be continued.
* * *
Reader Questions
Courtesy of Rivanhero: "Another thing that caught my attention....the priestess says, "An Al Bhed. That explains something." Is there still an animosity between the Yevonites and the Al Bhed?"
Answer: Absolutely. The relationship between Al Bhed and "Yevonites" has hardly changed in five years, as also made apparent in Chapter 2, in which Rikku vents her feelings at the priest in the hotel. Though the Yevonites have had to contend with Spira's acceptance of the Al Bhed and machina, they don't like it. The Al Bhed, on their part, have shown no sign of forgiving the Yevonites' past sins. They maintain that Yevon's followers have not done penance for their crimes at all, and are even continuing to worship Yevon in spite of everything that led to the Eternal Calm.
More on the relationship between the Al Bhed and Yevon's followers will be revealed later in the story. Thanks for your question!