A note from the Hime no Argh herself–
Excuse my bad language, but writing can sure be a b*tch. I've been blocking out for weeks now on Chapter 19. Then I talked to my beta and finally started to write again, but I still haven't finished the chapter. x.x Ah well, it'll work itself out eventually.
On a lighter note, I've been playing Kingdom Hearts like mad and am nearly finished. ^_^V My friend is betting that I'll write a KH fanfic within a month of finishing it. ^_^;; The thing is, he's probably right.
Anyway, enough of my babbling. Here's Chapter 16 for you all. I'm eagerly awaited your feedback. ^^ Chapter 17 will be posted shortly, so stay tuned.
***
Chapter 16
The Village by the Sea
On board the ship to the mainland, Yuna experienced another waking dream. It happened on the deck when she watched the ocean, just as the others had–Tidus appeared to her and they talked about normal, silly things until Yuna came to her senses. He disappeared, and Yuna was left shaking violently, feeling the stares of those who had witnessed her latest episode.
An arm wrapped around her shoulders, and Lulu's husky murmur sounded in her ear. "Let's get you below deck, hm?"
Yuna let herself be steered below, fighting to keep from crying. "What am I going to do?" she whispered hopelessly. "I can't stop the dreams no matter what I do. I feel like they're warning me not to get my hopes up."
"Don't despair," Lulu said quietly. "You must have faith. You've always had such strong faith, Yuna. It was your belief that everything would work out in the end that helped us all to continue the pilgrimage."
"I know," Yuna said, just as softly. "But even I have my limits." She stopped walking and blinked hard, fighting back the tears. "I feel like I'm going crazy, Lulu! I don't know how much more I can take!"
Lulu wrapped her arms around Yuna and held her close, feeling the younger woman's body trembling with fatigue. "I know you're weary of this," she said gently. "I understand. I wish there was rest for you. But..." She pulled away, holding Yuna by the shoulders and gazing into her eyes. "We're already halfway to the mainland, and there's always a chance."
Yuna sighed. "You're right. It would be pointless to give up now."
Bearing this in mind, she forced herself to take a more cheerful outlook, and accompanied Rikku on the deck to learn how to use her handguns. She ignored the stares and murmurs from their Al Bhed crew. She didn't doubt that by now the entire ship knew about her waking dream, but at least she couldn't understand what they were whispering.
Rikku could, and after snapping something in Al Bhed to the others, they dispersed. "Well," she said calmly to Yuna, fishing in a purse at her belt. "Ready to learn your new weapons?"
"I suppose," Yuna said doubtfully, staring at the guns in her hands.
"Ahah!" Having found the six silver bullets in her belt-purse, she proceeded to show Yuna how to load them into the guns and unload them once more. She had Yuna repeat the exercise until she was satisfied, then dragged her over to a rail.
"We won't practice with targets on the boat," Rikku said brusquely. "It's too dangerous. You can just shoot out at the ocean until you get the feel of the guns."
"But we'll lose the bullets," Yuna pointed out.
Rikku waved a hand dismissively. "You can get bullets all over. I'm sure Brother brought some more with us."
Yuna tried to 'get the feel' of the guns, as Rikku put it, but something about them didn't feel right to her.
"They make me nervous," she confessed when they'd exhausted their supply of bullets. "It's like I'm carrying death in my hands."
"You used to carry death everywhere you went," Rikku said bluntly. "If those aeons weren't deadly then I don't know what is."
Yuna frowned. "Yes, but...it was different, somehow. With the aeons I had to use my own life-force, my own energy, to summon them. Lulu has to tap her own magic reserves to cast spells, and you have to use your strength and agility with your claws. But these..." She looked at the guns in her hands. "With these I can pull a trigger and cause death. It's so easy that it scares me."
"They are for your defense," Rikku pointed out softly.
Yuna shook her head, tucking the guns into her sash. "And may the Fayth will that I never need use them."
The ship on which they traveled was faster than the small boat that had brought Yuna, Rikku, Lulu, and Brother to Bikanel Island. In just over three hours since their departure land came into view, narrow strips of beaches shaded by the stately trees of Macalania Forest.
"Does dat look like a village to you?" Wakka asked as he stood at the rail with Yuna, Rikku, and Lulu, pointing.
Yuna recognized the small village on the beach. She had heard about its construction a couple of years ago and had been surprised by the news that a group of people were choosing to settle so close to Bevelle. Yet the time had come when the people were slowly reclaiming Spira from the clutches of the priests. Yuna liked the village, for all that she'd passed through it perhaps once or twice. It reminded her of Kilika, with its stilted huts built right on the shore and primitive wooden walkways.
"Tell Brother we can land there, if he likes," Yuna said to Rikku. "They're very friendly."
They did just that, carefully easing the small ship next to one of the village's larger docks. Yuna smiled at the sight of children yelling and pointing to their vessel, wide-eyed and excited.
A few adults came down the walkways to meet them, courteously catching the ropes thrown by the Al Bhed and securing them to the dock. "Welcome, strangers," said a smiling, dark-skinned woman with a Besaidan accent. "What brings you to our village?"
Yuna, Rikku, and Brother were the first to step onto the dock. "Good morning," Yuna greeted the woman, bowing respectfully. "May we please dock our ship here for a day? We will pay you, of course."
The woman waved a hand. "No payment necessary. We are happy to receive visitors to our home. Please, can we put you up for a night?"
"That really won't be necessary," Lulu replied, descending the gangway with Wakka. "I don't think we intend to stay for long, do we, Yuna?"
Yuna shook her head. Brother addressed Rikku in Al Bhed, who nodded and turned to the woman who appeared to be the head of the village. "This is Brother of the Al Bhed, our ship's captain. He says, please pardon our intrusion and don't trouble yourselves with us. If necessary, we'll spend the night on our ship, but we really should only be here for a day. We need to make a sweep of the forest, and then we'll be on our way."
The woman tilted her head. "De forest, you say? Are you searching for someting?"
"Someone," Yuna explained. "I was told that a friend of mine was somewhere in Macalania."
The woman smiled, displaying white teeth. "Please, allow a scout from our village to join you in dis search. We know de surrounding area quite well. It would be bad to get lost, ya?"
Yuna looked around at her companions, who shrugged back at her. It would undoubtedly make their search much easier with a native who knew the forest. "If it's not too much trouble," she began hesitantly.
"Not at all." The woman beckoned them to follow her as Brother gave orders in Al Bhed for their crew to remain with the ship. "My name is Faren, and I am de headwoman of dis village. Anyting you need, you ask me, ya?"
"You're from Besaid," Wakka commented. Faren looked back and smiled.
"Yeah, an' I recognize dat accent of yours, my brudda," she chuckled, her formal tone evaporating. "Good to meet somebody from de old island."
"Are you all from Besaid?" Yuna wondered. None of the villagers looked familiar to her, including Faren.
The woman shook her head. "Just me an' one udder. We're kinda scattered in our backgrounds here. Most of us came to escape de memories of places dat were attacked by Sin, like Kilika."
Yuna nodded. That explained the village's strong resemblance to Kilika.
After a brief conference with a group of villagers, Faren herself decided to accompany them. "We're already on friendly terms," she explained. "It'd do me good to get away for a bit anyway. So who are we searching for?"
They all hesitated. "Sorry," Faren said quickly. "None of my business, ya?"
But Yuna supposed there wasn't any harm in telling her. "His name is Tidus."
Faren's eyes widened. "De Tidus?" Her recognition didn't come as a surprise. Most people in Spira knew not only Yuna's name, but the name of all those who had helped vanquish Sin. Faren frowned, looking at Yuna's face. "You're not...de summoner Yuna?"
Yuna nodded and offered a hand. "I am. These are Wakka, Rikku, and Lulu, my former guardians–" Faren shook hands all around, obviously impressed. "And Rikku introduced you to Brother."
"De Al Bhed," Faren said with a grin as she shook Brother's hand. "I remember."
"Hela du saad oui," Brother said politely.
After Yuna expressed her desire to begin the search immediately, Faren wasted no time in leading them out of the village and straight into the heart of the forest. "It must be nice to live like they do on the islands," Yuna said as they walked.
Faren smiled. "Most of de time. Gets hard in de winter. We always gotta rebuild a little when spring comes, you know?"
Yuna nodded fervently. She didn't fancy being in one of those rickety huts when the wind was howling and the waves were tossing outside.
"It's strange," Faren mused, changing the subject. "I'd tink one of us would notice if Tidus of Zanarkand came tru here. I mean, he's been missing for five years, ya?"
"That's correct," Yuna said quietly.
Faren shrugged. "He musta passed straight tru, den. Eider dat or..."
She didn't need to finish the sentence. Either that or he was never here at all, Yuna thought dejectedly, already wondering whether the priest's message had been some kind of hoax.
As the hours passed she found she had even more cause to wonder. Yuna was already half-expecting not to find him–it would be too easy, she thought resentfully–but there was not even a sign of him, either. They combed through the entire forest, Faren guiding them into each hidden nook and cranny that they would have undoubtedly missed on their own, yet they didn't meet with a single human being, let alone the one Yuna was so desperate to find.
They ended up in the heart of the forest again, at the crux of the paths that led north to Bevelle, south to Guadosalam, and west to the village. It was hours since they'd begun their search, and the sun was already slipping toward the horizon. "Maybe we missed 'im?" Faren suggested, frowning.
Yuna said nothing. Her companions all stared at her with obvious worry. "I'm fine," she whispered, putting on a half-hearted smile. "We'll just have to look somewhere else."
Wakka gave a sudden, low growl, clenching a hand into a fist. "Where in de heck is he, anyway?" he demanded. "Doesn't he know dat we're looking for him?"
Yuna pressed her fingernails into her palms. "I wasn't expecting to find him," she told Wakka truthfully. "The thing is, he was probably never here at all. He was probably never in Spira. I made him up, that's all." She couldn't stand the looks of pity a moment longer. "If no one minds, I think I'll go back to the village."
With that she turned and headed west, leaving her friends in a very uncomfortable silence.
* * *
Faren would hear nothing of their leaving. They argued, but she proved to be quite persistent. "Stay for de night," she said firmly back in the village. "De sea air will do your friend good."
They couldn't argue with that. In the end they all agreed that Yuna desperately needed some rest. "Poor thing," Lulu murmured, shaking her head. "She's been taxing herself so hard over this entire issue. I should have made her rest more. I should have–" She fell silent.
"It wouldn't have helped," Rikku said dejectedly, and they knew she was right. Yuna had kept up the search doggedly, never bothering to take care of herself, completely focused on her goal. The only reason she was wavering now, they all knew, was because she was finally losing hope.
A loud thud startled them. Brother had hit the wooden wall of the hut in which they sat with his fist. He didn't meet their eyes, but cursed softly in Al Bhed and left, slamming the door behind him. Wakka stared at the door, openmouthed.
"What's gotten into him?" he asked the women.
Rikku glanced at Lulu. She knew, and from the look in Lulu's eyes, the older woman did as well. "Never mind," Lulu said, shaking her head. They both knew perfectly well that Brother would never act on his feelings, so there was no point in saying anything.
"I'm going to bed," Lulu said wearily at last. "Sitting around like this is depressing me. I'll see you two in the morning." Wakka and Rikku nodded glumly as Lulu left.
Wakka made a frustrated noise, leaning his head back to gaze at the ceiling. "I'm gonna kick dat kid's ass when I get a hold of him," he growled. "It's not right, letting Yuna suffer like that."
"What makes you think he's even around for you to kick?" Rikku said despondently. Wakka looked at her, concerned.
"Den you tink he mighta never come back too?"
"I dunno." Rikku rose and began pacing around the room. "You know, I kind of used to think that love conquered all, but that was before I met Yunie and Tidus. They were torn apart and they may never see each other again. That's reality, right? I mean, life's not like it is in books and stuff, right? If this were a fairy tale, they'd be reunited." She stared broodingly into empty space. "But it's not. He's probably never coming back. Yunie will accept that eventually, and she'll start putting on those fake smiles and cheery tones again. She smile and say happy things while her heart is breaking, and we won't be able to do anything about it." She clenched her fists, her fingernails digging into her palms. "It drives me crazy, Wakka!"
"Hey," Wakka said softly, moving close to her and putting his hands on her shoulders. "Who says it's gotta have a sad ending? Just 'cause it's real life doesn't mean it can't be happy, ya?"
"If it was," she said passionately, "he'd be here now, and Yuna wouldn't be alone somewhere thinking that she's never going to see him again–"
"Somebody's gotta have hope," Wakka insisted. "You n' me gotta be strong, for Yuna's sake, ya? As long as dere's a chance–"
"What chance?" Rikku said bluntly. The silence rang throughout the room.
"I dunno," Wakka said at last. He was still holding her by the shoulders. "Damned if I know."
"I hate this," Rikku muttered.
"Me too."
Rikku caught his wrists, pushing his hands away, and stepped back from him, suddenly light-headed. "Oh," she said softly, "but you don't know the half of it."
* * *
Yuna spent a sleepless night alone in one of the village huts, thinking about her bleak future. By the time dawn arrived she'd already decided. It was time to end her fruitless journey.
She went to one of the wooden-planked walkways facing the ocean to watch the waves curl over and under themselves, reaching and receding lazily, rhythmically. The sun was rising in the east, staining the sea gold.
She didn't have to turn to know she had company. "I was thinking of maybe going back to Besaid," she said softly to Lulu. "Just seeing the ocean like this makes me homesick."
"Then you plan to end the search?" Lulu said gently, coming to stand at Yuna's elbow.
"Yes. Maybe. I don't know." Yuna blinked back the tears that suddenly blurred her vision. "I don't know what to do anymore. I keep putting my faith forward, hoping that it will lead to something, and yet it never does."
"It could," Lulu pointed out, but Yuna could hear the reluctance in her friend's voice. She knew that Lulu didn't want to keep pushing her, and was grateful.
"It could, I know," Yuna said softly. "But it hasn't yet. And what do I have to keep faith in now? The word of a priestess?" She laughed bitterly. "I suppose I'll go back to Besaid, live alone and have my visions, my dreams, for the rest of my life. I was such a fool to ever begin this search."
"No, you weren't," Lulu said fiercely. "Don't ever think that, Yuna. All things happen for a reason. I'm sure there was a reason for this journey, only you just can't see it yet. Everything looks bleak right now."
Yuna was silent. Lulu put a hand on her shoulder. "I'll come to Besaid with you," she said quietly. "We'll make do. And someday, I am sure we'll know why."
"I'm not," Yuna whispered. "I don't know the why of anything." The tears that she'd fought for so long finally came. Yuna buried her face in her friend's shoulder and wept bitterly.
"Shh," Lulu murmured, stroking her hair. "It will be all right. Everything will be all right. Believe, my dear."
"I can't," Yuna sobbed, her voice muffled. "There's nothing left to believe in."
"Yes, there is," Lulu said firmly, holding her close. "There's yourself. You're the person I've believed in all these years. You're the person your friends believe in. Right now you're weary, and you're suffering. Your heart is in pain. But we know how strong you are, Yuna." She gripped Yuna gently by the shoulders and drew away so that she could look into her eyes.
"If you believe in yourself, everything will be all right," Lulu said quietly. "I know this to be true."
Yuna drew in a long, shuddering breath, blinking the last of the tears from her eyes. "You're right," she said thickly, and gave a small, watery laugh. "I'm being silly, aren't I?"
"You're being human," Lulu said quite seriously.
Yuna stared at her for a moment. Then, despite everything, she smiled. "Thank you, Lulu."
Lulu hugged her tightly again. "You're welcome. Remember that you always have our support. Things may look bleak, but–" Abruptly she fell silent. Yuna felt her friend's body stiffen.
"Lulu?" she said worriedly, drawing away. Lulu was staring at something behind her, her eyes slowly growing wider than Yuna had ever seen them. The expression on her face was one of unmistakable astonishment.
"Lulu, what...?" Yuna turned to look behind her, down at the beach. Her knees buckled violently; she had to grab Lulu's arm to keep from toppling over.
Waist-deep in the surf stood Tidus, his eyes bluer than the ocean, gazing steadily at her.
* * *
To be continued.
* * *
Translations
Hela du saad oui – Nice to meet you