A note from the Hime no Argh herself–
Yikes! Not another chapter with romance! ::hides:: Well, my weekly updates idea didn't work out too well, but it wasn't my fault, I swear! FF.net wasn't working. :'-( But it's all better now, which is good.
I'm writing this story and just starting my new Zelda fic at the same time, but this of course takes precedence, and the other one probably won't be uploaded until I've finished this. On top of that I have a creative writing portfolio to fill out for college. x.x Ay carumba.
On a much happier note–I was accepted into my first choice of colleges, SUNY Purchase! ^_^V This makes me very happy. I'm in as an undeclared major–the aforementioned writing portfolio is for Purchase, which they need to review before deciding whether or not I can study creative writing. Keep your fingers crossed for me! I was also accepted into Ithaca, which I'm visiting this Saturday.
Anyway, back to FFX fics. Here's mine again. ^^ Enjoy!
***
Chapter 19
The Long Night
For a long time Yuna stared at the door of the small, stilted hut in which Tidus slept. He had the room to himself, she knew–most of them did, except for Rikku, who didn't like sleeping alone and shared a dwelling with Lulu. She was suddenly nervous again, and had half a mind to leave, but her fingers found the pendant at her throat once more. For some reason it steadied her; she held it for a moment, then tucked it beneath the collar of her shirt and knocked softly on the door.
A few moments passed and she heard nothing. She was just starting to think that she hadn't knocked loudly enough, and wondering if she had the courage to knock again, when a groggy voice said, "Coming." She waited, heart pounding. Her wait was brief; the door swung open and Tidus stood in the threshold, blinking sleepily, wearing his regular clothes–he probably didn't have any other, Yuna knew. He was awake and alert the moment he saw her.
"Yuna?" He ran a hand through his hair, blinked, and looked at her again.
"Hi," Yuna said stupidly, unable to think of anything else. She was beginning to feel very foolish.
"Hello," he mumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Something the matter?"
She bit her lip, unable to think of a reply. Tidus looked at her with real concern. "What's wrong, Yuna?"
"It's...it's nothing, really," she said hesitantly. "Maybe I should just come back in the morning..." She made as if to move away, but Tidus grabbed her wrist.
"Is there something you want to talk about?" he asked seriously, his eyes on hers.
"It's really not important," she began, then stopped. "I mean...if you don't mind..."
Immediately he released her wrist and stepped back, holding the door open for her. "Come on in," he offered, adding with a lopsided grin, "Not like I was doing anything that can't be interrupted."
Despite herself she smiled, moving hesitantly through the doorway. Tidus closed the door and flicked on a lamp, throwing the dark guesthouse into relief. Like hers it was simply furnished, with a single small table, two chairs, and a bed. Seashells covered the mantle above the small hearth; the window was thrown open to admit the sea-scented air.
They looked at each other uncertainly for a moment, then Tidus smiled. "Do you want to sit?"
"Sure." Yuna hesitated for a moment, then sank down onto the bed. Tidus pulled up one of the chairs and sat facing her, and for a while there was silence.
Finally Tidus said quietly, "What did you want to say?"
Yuna licked her lips. "I-I need to talk." She hesitated. "Please don't interrupt me once I begin, because I don't think–I don't think I'll be able to start again."
Tidus nodded, his eyes betraying his worry. He watched her intently, waiting.
Yuna stared down at her lap, avoiding his gaze, and began to talk.
"After Sin disappeared and you left Spira, everything happened so fast that I barely had time to think. The priests fell out of power almost immediately, because everyone knew the sins they had committed. There were riots in Bevelle, and the temples were sieged. The heads of state from Kilika, Besaid, Luca, and Guadosalam, plus Cid and a few more Al Bhed, gathered in Luca to try and form a new ruling body and restore harmony in Spira.
"At first there were a lot of disagreements and quarrels. The Guado and the Al Bhed were at each other's throats. Besaid and Kilika were angry that they weren't receiving aid for the riots at their respective temples, but no one had any troops to spare. There was chaos for quite a while. No one knew what to do.
"The rest of us, in the meantime–your friends, the ones that were left–we wandered aimlessly around Spira for a while, staying away from the centers of the conflict. We went to Bikanel Island, but we were there for barely a day before a group of representatives came from Luca. They all but kidnapped us and dragged us back to the city. They begged me for help–it seemed the people of Spira wanted me as their voice. They told me I was the only one that the people had faith in. What could I do?
"That's how more than a year passed. I met with the heads of state in Luca every week. I traveled everywhere in Spira, talking with people, sharing their hopes and wishes–I even managed to stop the riots in the temples. I suppose the people of Spira really did trust me.
"Eventually the government grew stable. The major settlements of Spira elected people to represent them in the parliament at Luca, and that's how our representative democracy began. After a while it became clear that I wasn't needed anymore. The parliament was sorry to see me go, but I was tired of government work. Lulu, Wakka, Rikku, Kimahri, and I returned to Besaid."
Yuna hesitated, briefly, then continued softly, "I think that may have been a mistake. Besaid is so peaceful and quiet. I liked it before my pilgrimage, but afterward...it was a little too quiet. I had too many hard memories, and little else to occupy my mind. I began to dream–" She paused again, licking dry lips. "A few months ago, when we went to Luca for the Blitzball season, I had a dream about Auron, Jecht, and my father. They talked about you. They said the Fayth had brought you back from the dreamworld. When I woke, I thought–I knew–it was somehow real. I told the others I wanted to look for you. They understood. We left to search. When I began to think you could be back in Spira–when I began to think of you again, after years of trying to–to forget–"
At this her voice caught in her throat, and she found herself unable to continue. She could feel herself trembling. After a moment or two Tidus took her hands in his.
"Go on," he said, very quietly.
Yuna nodded jerkily, swallowed, and continued, her voice somewhat hoarse.
"I had these–these things–well, Lulu calls them waking dreams, but they were hallucinations, really. Lulu told me that they are created out of our loneliness and pain, for the people we've loved and lost–you see, I dreamed of you." Yuna kept her eyes fixed on the floor, unable to even think of meeting his gaze. "I dreamt when I was awake. They were very, very real. You would come to me, and–and we would talk about–oh, I don't know, little things. Unimportant things. All that mattered was that you were there. That's what I believed, in the throes of the dreams–but when they released me, you were always gone."
For a moment there was silence, heavy and painful, but Yuna quickly went on, desperate to fill it.
"I didn't tell anyone about the dreams at first, but eventually Lulu and Rikku found out. Brother knows, too–he witnessed one back on Bikanel Island. I don't know if the girls told Wakka. I never spoke about them, except with Lulu one time. I didn't want to remember. We kept looking for you, but the hallucinations didn't go away. I thought–I thought they were warning me, somehow, telling me that I was just getting my hopes up. After a while I started to believe that this was true." She swallowed and added helplessly, "I didn't mean to, but it was so hard. I tried my best. I tried to be strong, and to have faith, but–nothing happened, and after a while it seemed so pointless...I gave up," she finished miserably. "I needed to tell you. I need to tell you–to tell you I'm sorry."
Again the silence weighed down on her, heavy on her shoulders. At last Yuna dared to look up into Tidus's face–and amazingly, he was smiling.
"Want to go for a walk?" he asked.
She blinked. "Oh...okay."
They went down to the beach, where the moon cast a silver shimmer over the black sea, and wandered north for a while without speaking, away from the village. Yuna breathed in the sea-scented air and let it steady her nerves. She liked it out here by the ocean much better than any indoor place, where she always seemed to feel cramped and claustrophobic.
Eventually Tidus stopped walking and stood silently, staring out at the sea. Yuna stopped as well and waited, waves curling about her ankles. He looked as though he had something to say, but couldn't find the words.
At last he spoke. "Remember that time in Macalania?" he asked, turning his gaze to her.
She blushed a little. "In the lake?"
"That's right." Tidus hesitated for a moment, looking almost sheepish. "Actually, I kind of wanted to apologize for that, but it never came up..."
Her blush deepened. "You don't need to apologize."
"All right, but there is something I want to say about it." He paused again, briefly, then went on, "I never really...planned that, you know? It just happened. I saw you there, and you were in so much pain..." He regarded her quietly for a moment. "I wanted–I wanted to take that pain away from you, Yuna."
"I know," she whispered.
He stepped closer to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "You're so strong, Yuna," he said quietly. "Even when it all seems impossible, you keep going. I don't know how you manage it, but you do. I've always admired you for that. But..." He brushed a strand of air away from her eyes, his fingers lingering at her cheek. "Everyone falters, every now and then. Do you really think it was so terrible of you to give up on me for one brief instant? I don't."
"But it was terrible," Yuna protested. "You're the one person I've always had faith in. To give that up so easily–"
"Means you're human," Tidus finished for her, pulling her close. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "Let me be your support again, Yuna. Let me take the pain from you."
"I don't deserve you," she whispered, clinging to his shoulders. "I don't deserve your–your love."
"No." He slid his fingers under her chin and made her look up at him. "No, you deserve better than me. But..." He kissed her passionately, and she clung hard to him, wanting to stay like that forever.
"I'll never leave you again, Yuna," he said huskily when they parted. "Never."
Tentatively she slid her arms around his neck. "Promise?"
"I promise." His fingers sifted through her hair, then glided lightly down her throat until they found the leather thong about her neck. "What's this?" he asked, glancing down at her throat.
Yuna suddenly realized that the pendant was showing and pulled away, covering it with her fingers. "It's–it's nothing," she said, embarrassed. "It's just something Kimahri made for me while you were traveling with him."
He smiled at her, making her heart melt. "Can I see it?"
Hesitantly she let go of the pendant, and he caught it in his fingers, examining it in the moonlight. A very odd expression suddenly appeared on his face. Yuna stared at him, wondering what he was thinking.
"Tidus?" she said, a bit nervously.
He let go of the pendant and met her eyes, looking so serious that Yuna was almost frightened. "What's wrong?" she whispered.
"Nothing. I–" He hesitated, and she could see him swallow. "Actually, there was something else I wanted to ask you."
"Oh," Yuna said, hardly relieved, for she hadn't heard the question yet and he looked so grave. "Please, what is it?"
Tidus looked down at his feet and began pacing, wading through the ankle-deep waves. "It's probably too sudden. Not that it hasn't been a while in coming, mind." He hesitated, chewing his lip. "See, the more time I spend in Spira, the more I realize that my future here is pretty solid. It's not like I could be whisked away at any second like last time, and Sin's not around to accidentally step on me or something...I mean, you know, I guess I'll be here for the rest of my life."
Yuna nodded, watching him.
"It's not a bad feeling," he went on quietly. "In fact, it's what I've wanted for a long time. But if my past experiences have taught me anything, it's that we don't have all the time in the world." He looked up, meeting her eyes. "I want–I want to be with you every moment that we have, Yuna."
"Me too," she whispered, unable to look away from him.
He nodded, looking a bit pale but determined. "So...I wanted to ask you..."
Abruptly he stopped talking, looking past her, his eyes widening with shock. Yuna whirled around and let out a gasp, pressing her hands to her mouth.
An entire line of uniformed and armed soldiers stood just a few yards away from them up shore on the beach, rifles aimed directly at them. Every one of them was grim-faced, eyes glinting coldly as they spread out to surround them in a semi-circle, cutting off any means of escape.
"Warrior monks from Bevelle," Yuna said dazedly.
She felt Tidus slip his hand into hers, and gripped in instinctively, wondering how they were going to get out of this alive.
* * *
To be continued.