McGonagall answered Lupin's knock and let him into the room. "How's Evangeline, Minerva?"
Her expression mirrored her worry and frustration and she shook her head sadly. "Not good at all, I'm afraid. She's obviously still in pain despite all the pain-relieving potions we're giving to her. She's still so feverish and delirious, and she's definitely getting weaker."
Lupin smiled at her, trying to ease her distress. "We think we know what to do for her now. Poppy got a message from Severus that gave us a clue. Albus and Poppy are brewing up a potion right now that should help her."
McGonagall felt intense relief at hearing this; she'd been so scared for Evangeline, although she'd been trying not to let it show. She prided herself on being strong, on being able to handle anything that came her way. However, this frustrating vigil had been very hard on her. The Transfiguration professor had grown quite close to the younger woman, and the thought of losing her had filled her with anguish. "Well, thank goodness, I really don't think she can hang on much longer. Any word on when Severus himself might return? I think she needs him as much as an antidote to this awful poison."
The werewolf shook his head. "No, but I wouldn't hold my breath. If he could come himself, he wouldn't have gone to such lengths to send us a message. He probably felt he couldn't get here in time to save her himself and wanted to give us every chance to do it for him."
McGonagall nodded. "Yes, I'm sure he's very worried and he's probably watched so carefully that he can't do much without giving himself away. I can't imagine there's a lot of trust among Death Eaters. Oh, it must be horrible to have to pretend to serve that horrid creature!"
Lupin nodded thoughtfully. He'd never thought much about what it must be like to go to a gathering of Death Eaters. Now he found the very thought made him uncomfortable.
McGonagall left to go to her class, and Lupin sat down in one of the wingchairs and stared blindly into the fire. He no longer had the search for an antidote to keep his mind busy, and as a result, it flitted off into the next room immediately. Hesitantly, he glanced at the door to the bedroom. He knew he should check on Evangeline, but he was afraid to. Afraid he'd be too weak to resist, if she offered herself to him again, in the mistaken belief that he was someone else.
Finally, after much internal debate, he reluctantly got up and approached the bedroom. He laid a hand on the wooden panel and pushed it open to enter the room. Evangeline was lying still, in the center of the big bed. Her covers were disarranged again. The flickering candlelight was bringing out the red highlights in her hair. Lupin walked to the foot of the bed and simply stared at her. She'd obviously been thrashing around again. Her nightgown was twisted up around her hips exposing her legs to his view. Her arms were out-stretched, and her tangled hair was spread out over the pillow. He knew he should cover her up again, but he was afraid to touch her. She looked so desirable to him.
You're not the one she wants! He kept telling himself sternly. He needed to keep that thought firmly in mind. No matter how he felt, he couldn't let himself forget that she didn't feel the same way.
Not sure what else to do, he walked to the side of the bed and sat down. As his weight moved the bed beneath her, Evangeline opened her eyes and turned her head in his direction.
"Remus?" she whispered weakly.
Thank god, she knows who I am, at the moment! He thought in relief.
He tried to smile encouragingly. "Yes, Evangeline. It's Remus. How do you feel?"
With a tremendous effort, she rolled towards him. "Hot and my back feels like it's on fire. Can you please make the pain go away? I'm so tired of the pain." Her voice was soft and weak and pleading. It tore his heart out to listen to her.
Minerva had just given her more pain potions, so he knew that he couldn't give her anything else right now. "I can't give you anything at the moment, Angel," he said apologetically. "Poppy and Albus are working on something that will help you. It should be ready in a couple of hours. Try to hang on just a little longer, okay?"
She nodded weakly and tears slid down her cheeks. "I'll try…Remus…where's Severus? Have you heard from him? Is he okay?"
Lupin patted her hand reassuringly. "Yes, we did hear from him. He sent a message to Poppy, telling us what's wrong with you. He'll be back just as soon as he can, I'm sure. He was fine last night. I'm sure he's still okay. He'd be here with you if he possibly could, you know that."
Smiling faintly at his reassuring words, she nodded. "I know. I just worry about him. He's not always as careful as he should be. He doesn't value his own life as much as everyone else's. I miss him so much when he's not here."
Evangeline closed her eyes and lay there limply. Talking had obviously exhausted her. Lupin hated seeing her like this. Her weakness and pain tore at him because there was nothing he could do for her. Waiting was always such a hard thing to do, even now, when there was finally something positive to wait for. It was still agony to sit here and watch her suffer.
Finally Lupin got up and walked into the bathroom. Taking a washcloth from a cupboard, he ran it under cool water, wrung it out, and returned to the bedroom. Carefully he wiped the cloth over her sweaty face, neck, and chest, hoping the soothing coolness would make her feel a little better. Her expression did seem to lighten a bit at the cooling touch. After she drifted back into an uneasy sleep, he laid the cloth on the bedside table, pulled the covers up to her waist, and just sat there watching her. Almost without conscious thought, he reached out and caressed her hair. He still found himself yearning to touch her, to hold her, to love her.
He sighed to himself. I'm sorry, Evangeline. I hope Sirius is right, and you never remember what happened last night. All it would do is cause pain to all of us. Of all the people in the world I could fall for, why did I have to fall for someone I can't have? Why can't life ever be simple and straightforward? It's so easy to do the right and honorable thing in theory, when nothing is at stake, and so much harder in real life when things get messy and complicated.
Absorbed in his thoughts he didn't consciously notice his hand slipping from her hair to gently caress her cheek. When this dawned on him, he jerked his hand back as if she'd burned him. Then he got quickly to his feet and practically ran back into the sitting room. Full of frustration he simply stood there in the middle of the room clenching and unclenching his hand not sure just what to do next.
Suddenly he heard the scratching of claws on the wooden door. Upon opening it, he found a large black dog standing there. With a feeling of intense relief, he let Sirius Black into the room. Once the door was shut behind him, Black returned to his true form and smiled grimly at Lupin.
"I heard you were here. I thought you might need some company."
"Thank you! Yes. I'm finding it every bit as hard to be here alone with her as I thought I would. I'm really glad for your company, Sirius." Lupin sat down in one of the chairs by the fire and closed his eyes.
Black looked around. "I've never been in Snape's quarters before. A bit homier than I'd have expected. Man, what a lot of books! Do you suppose he's read them all?"
Lupin opened his eyes and stared at the bookcases. "Yes. Many of them multiple times, I'm sure. The man is brilliant, Sirius. Have you really never noticed that?"
Black shrugged and grinned down at his friend. "I try not to think about positive things when it comes to Snape."
The animagus wandered over and looked at the picture over the mantle. "Nice house…a bit pretentious, perhaps…bet it comes with a full staff of house elves." Lupin smiled faintly, leaned back, and closed his eyes again.
Black continued to wander around the room, then he pushed open the bedroom door and peeked inside. "Nice bed…looks comfortable…lots of silk. These sure beat my quarters all to hell." He walked over to the foot of the bed and watched Evangeline sleep. "She is attractive and very vulnerable at the moment. I'm not surprised you're tempted, my friend," he muttered to himself.
With a sigh he turned and went back into the sitting room. "She seems to be sleeping comfortably at the moment," he said as he dropped into the other wingchair facing the fire.
Lupin opened his eyes and stared deeply into the fire. "Good. I'm glad. She's been in so much pain. It's a relief to have her peaceful for awhile. Did you hear about the message Snape sent?"
Black nodded. "Yes, Hagrid told me. Did it help?"
Lupin smiled and turned to look at Black. "Yes, Albus and Poppy are brewing up a potion right now that should help her. It turns out that it's not a classic poison, which is why we couldn't find anything on it in the texts on poisons. It's actually a deadly hallucinogen…nasty stuff."
"So Snape rides to the rescue without even being here," Black remarked in annoyance.
Lupin looked reprovingly at Black. "That's the way it should be. That's the way Evangeline wants it. What worries me is that I know Severus would do anything for Evangeline. To keep him away when her life is in danger, whatever he's doing must be awfully important. I find myself scared to even begin to contemplate what it could be."
Black shrugged. "Maybe he didn't realize her life was in danger."
Lupin snorted. "He knew what this stuff was, Sirius. He had to know it was life threatening. That's why he went to the trouble of sending a message. He probably couldn't take the chance of writing a note and sending it by owl, but a few words passed to a reliable stranger, along with a hefty payment, he could chance that. No. He's involved in something important. Voldemort is up to something big. That doesn't bode well for any of us."