24. The First Step
Evangeline awoke the next morning feeling grubby and stiff from last night's labors and then sleeping in her clothes. Slightly disoriented, she rolled over and found Snape up on one elbow simply watching her.
She blinked, ran a hand through her disheveled hair, and smiled up at him. "Good morning…or is it afternoon?"
The Potions Master smiled back, looking decidedly more awake than she felt. "I believe it's still morning, although barely."
A bit embarrassed by the intensity of the gaze he was directing at her, she asked, "Why were you staring at me like that, Severus?"
"I was just enjoying being able to watch you sleep," he stated simply. "We've been apart so much lately that I haven't been able to indulge myself in far too long."
She blushed at the warmth in his words and raised an automatic protest. "Severus, after last night and sleeping in my clothes, I'm hardly sleeping beauty."
Shaking his head solemnly, Snape put out a hand and pushed a lock of hair off her face, hooking it behind her ear and letting his finger trail lightly back across her cheek. "You're always beautiful to me, Evangeline." Tears sprang to her eyes at his answer. His tenderness always touched her deeply because she knew it didn't come easily for him.
Gently he ran his long fingers through the soft mass of her tangled hair, then placing a swift kiss on her lips, he got up off the bed and began to remove his clothes. "Perhaps you'll feel better if you have a warm bath to soak the stiffness out of your muscles. You're still recovering, after all." Once he'd stripped to the waist, he headed into the bathroom to draw a bath in the large ceramic tub.
The appealing thought of sharing a warm bath with her lover quickly removed any lingering sleepiness from her mind. Smiling to herself at the hopeful start to the day, Evangeline slid off the bed, quickly stripped off her own soiled clothing, and went to join Severus in the bathroom. Eagerly she leaned full length against him, as he bent over to test the water temperature. She kissed the tender back of his neck softly and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her breasts against his strong back and teasing the nipples on his chest with her fingers.
"Will you join me?" she inquired hopefully as she held his warm body tightly against hers.
With a deep sigh he shivered at her touch and slid quickly around in her embrace so they were once more facing each other. Sitting on the edge of the tub, he pulled her swiftly between his legs, kissing her breasts with eager lips, and gently caressing her back with his strong hands. There was nothing he wanted more than to trace every plane of her body with his fingers and lips, to memorize its shape, to imprint its feeling on his soul forever. "I have every intention of doing just that, I assure you," he stated definitively between kisses.
"Good," she murmured happily and gave him a playful shove. Unprepared for her actions, he slid off the edge of the tub with a gasp and down under the warm water. A moment later, he surfaced, sputtering for air, and glared up at her with water dripping into his eyes and off the tip of his nose. "You minx! I wasn't finished undressing yet!"
Enjoying the sight of her lover in such disarray, she smiled teasingly down at him. "Oh, dear! Let me help you with that." Quickly she bent down and removed his stockings since his feet were still hanging out of the tub. While she did that he undid his trousers and slid them down off his hips. Then she drew them off his legs with difficulty and dropped the sodden mass to the floor.
"Now, that just leaves those pesky boxers of yours," she smiled sweetly at him from the edge of the tub, while kneeling and resting her chin on her hands. He scooted back in the tub and shook his head, a devilish expression on his face. "Oh, no," he murmured silkily. "If you want them, you'll just have to come in and get them."
Evangeline grinned evilly in return. "If you insist, but I'm really much more interested in what's inside them."
Gracefully she stood up and stepped into the large tub without taking her eyes from his. Slowly sinking down into the warm water, she slid easily across the tub and up his body to recline against him, with her arms entwined about his neck. When they were face to face, she kissed him gently as he slid his hands slowly down her body, caressing her smooth skin in the warm water. Slowly she ran her hand over his lean chest and down over his stomach to tease the waistband of the boxers that he still wore. "Shall we dispense with these, Severus?" she whispered softly as she kissed her way down his neck, leaving a trail of small red marks.
Severus found himself determined to put all the tension and worry of the last couple of weeks behind him and concentrate on nothing more than the moment at hand. Some uninterrupted time in the arms of this woman was all that he longed for. So he leaned back against the side of the big tub with a sigh of contentment, enjoying the sensuous feeling of her hands and mouth on his body and answered honestly. "Whenever you wish, Evangeline."
Slipping her hands into the waistband, she slid the garment down his body in one quick motion, freeing him from restraint. Then her hand glided slowly back up between his long legs and stroked the hard length of him, while he moaned in pleasure at her touch. Desire long denied by circumstances burned hotly for both of them. Severus reached out and pulled her on top of him, his skin tingling with anticipation, as her warm wet flesh pressed eagerly against his own. "I've missed you, my Angel," he murmured in her ear as he began to kiss and fondle her body with more urgency.
As she covered his neck and chest with fervent kisses, she smiled and relaxed against him. "Let's hope the house elves have better things to do with their time today."
"They will if they value their worthless lives," he muttered darkly as he clasped her to him and kissed her deeply.
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An hour later found them relaxing in front of the crackling fire, sitting on the soft rug, and leaning back against one of the sturdy chairs. Their arms were entwined around each other, content in the silent companionship of each other's company; blissfully enjoying the first truly calm moment they'd had in a very long time. Evangeline lifted her head from Snape's chest and reached up and caressed his cheek gently as he gazed meditatively into the fire. With a soft sigh she broke the companionable silence. "Do you have any regrets about revealing yourself as a spy, Severus?"
A sad smile flitted across his features as he turned his head and looked down at her. "A complicated question. I certainly won't miss the gut wrenching tension of having to watch every word, every look, every move I make. Nor will I miss the horror of having to go along with whatever the Dark Lord expected of me, of having to find ways to carry out his orders without doing more harm or betraying myself or others. It was necessary to give myself away in order to ruin his plans, and no, I don't regret doing it."
Then he sighed and a slight frown creased his forehead. "I do regret the loss of information, though. It'll be harder to counter him, now that we won't know what he's planning. Even though I was no longer one of his favorites, I was privy to a lot of useful information. Now that door is closed. I'm afraid that that loss will put everyone in greater danger than before. My value in this fight has been greatly diminished by my giving up my position as a spy. I do feel somewhat guilty about that even though there really wasn't much choice."
Tightening his arms around her, he added, "I also worry that my being hunted by the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters will put you in more danger. It could be very dangerous to love me, Evangeline. That thought fills me with dread. It's enough to make me want to take you and run and hide somewhere very far away from here."
She gazed at him sympathetically. "Oh, Severus, where could we go? You wouldn't be happy hiding in some far away place…always worrying that we'd be found…wondering what was happening to those we cared about. You'd make a terrible fugitive, Severus Snape. You're just not a coward, and you can't stand not knowing what's going on and being involved."
He smiled wryly down at her. "You're sure about that?"
"Yes, I am. Completely sure. Anyway, wouldn't you miss your job, your life here at Hogwarts?"
Thoughtfully he considered her question. "Perhaps not as much as you might think, Evangeline. I certainly didn't start out to be a teacher. I've always thought of it as penance for reaching too high, for being too arrogant, for choosing so badly."
She frowned in concern. These confidences were new to her, and she wanted so much to truly understand this man that she loved so deeply. "Don't you enjoy teaching at all, Severus?"
A gleam came into his eyes and he smirked down at her. "It has its rewarding aspects, I suppose. You know how much I enjoy showing others that I know more than they do. Teaching has certainly given me an opportunity to display my knowledge, but the audience is generally so unappreciative. I've enjoyed the intellectual give and take with the occasional bright student, but they've been few and far between. In truth, I find I don't really have the proper temperament for teaching." He snorted softly. "I simply do not have the patience. I really didn't have a choice when I started. Despite his protestations to the contrary, I don't think Albus completely trusted in my sincerity when I first came to him for his help in escaping from the Dark Lord's grasp. Later, when he needed someone to teach potions, he knew he couldn't do better than to hire me, but the truth is, he wanted to keep me where he could keep an eye on me. In a way this job has always been a sentence and my dungeon classroom… a cell."
"Does that mean you really do want to leave here?" She watched him carefully.
He shook his head. "No, not really. I'm comfortable, if not completely happy in my job here. And you're right to say that I wouldn't enjoy life as a fugitive. I've never run away from a problem. I don't want to start now." He extended a hand and idly began to play with her hair. "I can't help but worry that my new status as a target will put you in more danger, though. I don't think I could live with myself if you were hurt because of me."
Evangeline gave a small laugh and tried to reassure him. "Severus, I already have a huge wanted poster on my head and have since before we met. Nothing you do could place me in more danger than I'm already in by simply having the abilities I do, in being the person that I am. I bear the curse of being potentially valuable to Voldemort. You can't change that. Being with you isn't endangering me! I never feel safer than when I'm in your arms."
Tightening his arms around her, he stated solemnly, "That's where I most want to have you, Evangeline. When I was forced to be away, discovering the details of this last plot, all I could think about was you. The Death Eater who threw that knife bragged about hitting you in the back, and how the poison he'd put on it would affect you. I was so frustrated that I couldn't be here to help you. Not to mention, frightened that Poppy wouldn't be able to figure out just what it was, and how to help you in time. I've never felt so helpless. You could've died, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was bound by my duty, unable to be where I truly wanted to be. I vowed then, that I'd never be put in that position again; that I'd always be here with you to protect you from harm. I haven't done a very good job of that in the past, but from now on, I promise you, it'll be my number one concern. I was torn between wanting to be with you to protect you, and fearing that becoming a target myself would put you in greater danger. In the end, being with you, to offer you my protection, seemed to be the right choice. Although perhaps it's a rather selfish one."
Deeply touched by his concern, Evangeline sat up straighter and looked at him seriously. "It doesn't seem so selfish to me. I was hoping that you'd feel happier, less burdened once you gave up spying, but it seems that you've given up the role of spy, to take on the role of watchdog. Once again, you're basing your choices on the needs of another person. I don't want you to feel obligated to me, Severus. I don't want to be a duty. It seems you've always got a role others expect you to play. Will you ever feel free enough to just be yourself? Can't you ever just live the life you want?"
"Protecting you isn't a duty, Evangeline. Keeping you safe is what I want to do, what I need to do. Being with you is the life I want. Please, believe that."
"Being with you is all that I want, too. We'll just have to try to keep each other safe. I'll watch your back if you watch mine," she said with a playful grin.
He chuckled in amusement and smiled back at her. "Agreed. And since we both will be taking on responsibility for the other's safety and well being, there's another step I'd like to take. The only future I want is one that contains you, Evangeline. So I guess, the first step into that future is to ask you…if you'll marry me."
The unexpectedness of the proposal took her breath away. Her heart was suddenly pounding so hard she couldn't hear anything except the blood pulsing through her head.
Snape stared at her with a serious look on his face, suddenly fearful at her silence. With a slightly shaking hand, she reached out to touch his face and smiled softly. "Oh, Severus, are you absolutely sure that's what you want?"
With a solemn look in his dark eyes, he nodded slowly. "More than anything, Evangeline."
A happy smile blossomed on her face, and she threw her arms eagerly around his neck. "Then, yes, Severus Snape, I will marry you. Nothing would make me happier than to be your wife!"
Smiling broadly in his relief, he drew her closer, his warm lips gliding gently over hers as they sealed their hope for the future with a tender kiss. When they parted and stared at each other, he pulled back and got up. "Wait here, Evangeline. I'll be right back."
Severus headed off into the bedroom and rummaged around somewhere. A moment later, he returned to her side with a small black box in his hand. Handing the box to Evangeline, he sat down next to her again and watched anxiously as she opened it. Inside, sparkling brightly against the satin lining, she found a lovely, square cut, diamond ring with a trio of small emeralds on either side.
"Oh, Severus, it's beautiful! Is it another family heirloom?" she inquired breathlessly as she looked up at him with shining eyes.
He nodded seriously. "Yes. It belonged to a great aunt, whom I was quite fond of, when I was very young." Taking the box from her slightly trembling hands, he carefully removed the lovely ring and slipped it gently onto the fourth finger of her left hand. As she gazed with wonder at the ring, she could feel it adjusting to fit properly on her finger as if it had always been there. A tingling warmth began to spread through her, it felt so right to have this ring on her finger, and she raised her eyes to his once more with a feeling of complete happiness in her heart.
A sad smile flitted briefly across Snape's face. "I never thought I'd have any use for it other than to remember her by. Even after all this time your love seems like a dream to me, Evangeline. I find myself still afraid I'll wake up and find that you were simply an illusion conjured up by a mind in dire need of hope."
Longing to reassure him, she placed a hand on either side of his face and stared earnestly into his eyes. "I'm no illusion, Severus, and my love for you will last as long as I do." Gently she pulled him into an embrace, and together they stretched out full length in front of the warming fire.