She couldn't take it anymore. As much as she tried, she just couldn't fight
it. That one feeling you get. Those little voices in her head saying:
Kill. You've got to kill. Kill...kill...KILL!!!
This one day was no different from others, except for one pointer: she couldn't take it anymore. For her, this was it. She was going to finally give in to those little voices in her head. She would finally kill, but it wasn't just someone.....it was herself.
'This is a good enough spot,' she thought to herself as she stepped onto the Astronomy Tower. She had a known knowledge that nobody came up here, only for their class & that was it. This tower was sort of a get-away for herself when things got rough, but now this would be her grave. She quickly spread all of her things she would need for what she was about to do on the cold, stony floor: her wand, a hair tie, a piece of parchment, a quill, & lastly, the most important piece of all: her dagger. It was a special sort of dagger she had bought at Hogsmede the last time they went. It had a silver handle embroidered with rubies & diamonds, & it even had a dragon curled around it, but that wasn't what she was focusing on. She ran her finger over the blade of the dagger & smiled when it was still sharp. As she started writing the quick note on the parchment, she thought about what everyone has done to her. She remembered all of the times about how all of the Slytherins despised her because she was a Muggleborn, how now she was shunned from Harry & Ron's existence, about how Draco had died, & also how all of her hard work was for nothing, making her anti-social, never having a decent boyfriend in her life. Then, her mind wandered to the one thing that was driving her to this.
FLASHBACK
She was working in the library as usual, being almost like a home to her. Wanting to finish her Transfiguration homework quickly, she was bent over a book, trying to keep her thoughts from wandering to Dean Thomas. She forgot when she first started falling for him; it just sort of happened one day. She loved the way he laughed, the way he & Seamus were always planning another prank away in a corner, the way he bent his head over so nobody could see him snickering, the way his dark, black hair fell over his eyes, the way his eyes revealed his emotions inside.....she loved everything about him. All the sudden, she heard something from behind a bookshelf. Being the curious one she was, she decided to peak at what it was, & the sight that met her eyes burned deep within her heart. She saw her Dean, her love, with......Pansy Parkinson?! That Slytherin slut!, she thought to herself, anger & jealousy burning deep within herself. No wonder Dean would like her better, she had long blonde hair & deep blue eyes, making her the object of many Hogwarts' guys' play toys. I bet he chose her because she's prettier & probably better than me. At least she isn't an anti-social bookworm like I am, she thought to herself, almost on the brink of tears. Then, Parkinson had the guts to start...frenching her Dean! "How could I be so stupid," she said quietly to herself, & a tear slide down her cheek & onto her lips. Before she started crying a river, she ran out of the library, her work quickly forgotten.
END OF FLASHBACK
Well, they won't have to worry about me anymore, she thought to herself, smiling like a maniac. She had just finished that note, saying how she was glad to be gone & say good-bye to her parents for her. She then picked up the hair tie & pulled back her now fully straight chestnut hair, getting it out of her face so it would be easier to do her job. Picking up her wand, she magiked her piece of parchment to be floating in the air for anyone walking in after she was done to see, & stood up, her special dagger in hand. Deciding to wear Muggle clothing for the last time, her dark red tank top clung to her body, the silver star showing out more than usual, her tight black pants keeping her warm. As her dark red cloak swayed in the afternoon breeze, she looked over at the Hogwarts' grounds for the final time. How she was going to miss the lake, but being rid of this life was more important to her than a lake. "Good-bye Dean; if only you knew," she muttered to herself, her chocolate brown eyes brimming with tears. Just as she was going to stab herself through the heart, she heard a soft voice that stopped her heart & stop her actions. Oh no....it can't be.
"Hermione? What are you doing?" he said quietly, barely audible. Hermione didn't want to turn around; she couldn't face him. Those voices saying 'Kill...' were still strong, but she put them aside for the moment & turned around to face him. There he was, the perfect guy he was, standing there. He was not the last person she wanted to see before she died, & if he kept looking like that, she was going to forget killing herself. He was standing there, with his dark green cloak fluttering in the wind, underneath having his black T-shirt clinging to his body with a pair of dark blue jeans keeping him warm. His dark black hair fell into his eyes, which were trying to pry into her soul. She almost gave in to those dark eyes, wanting to tell him everything, but she willed herself to fight it. Whispering threateningly, she said, "Get out of here, Dean. You shouldn't be prowling around where you're not wanted at." Confusion overcame his face, then turned into worry & panic after seeing all of her things on the stony surface, including the dagger in her hand. Taking a step towards her, he asked, "What is all of this? What are you trying to do...kill yourself?" Smiling menacingly, she replied, "That's exactly what I'm doing. Now, if you don't mind, go back to your Slytherin slut & let me bleed in peace." She then took a step back, his body heat clogging her senses, but he didn't except her answer. "Hermione, why are you doing this? You're a great student, you have the best grades in our year, & you have the two best friends that everyone wished they had! What's wrong with that?" This really got a nerve. How can he think my life's perfect?!, she thought angrily to herself. Before she could stop it from happening, she saw herself telling him everything.
"Why am I doing this?! It's more like why it took me so long to do this! You all think my life's perfect? Well, let me give you an update. First of all, what's so great about being the best student in our year? I couldn't bloody well care if I was the smartest person in the wizarding world! Yeah, maybe it's great being smart, but where are you without friends? Also, Harry & Ron are not my friends; to them, I'm just a human encyclopedia. They use me for answers & to copy from, not as a good friend. If you didn't know, they've shunned me a long time ago. They don't care about me, they only care about their selves." He seemed shocked, but she could tell he wasn't going to give up. Taking another step towards her, causing her to step back, he said, "Well, they shouldn't have done that to you. You should have stood up against them! Demand the respect you want! You can't just let people walk all over you! You still have hope, though! If you wish & dream, those wishes & dreams will come true!" Getting even more mad, she took a step towards him & yelled, "I know I let people walk all over me! Do you think I like it?! Of course I don't! I just can't help it; I'm weak & pathetic! And have hope?! You've got to be kidding me! I've given up on wishes & dreams a long time ago! Why?! Because they never gave me the one thing I wanted! And you want to know what that one thing was?! Do you?!" Taking a step towards her, he said, "Of course I do! I want to know what's making you do this to yourself!" Taking a step towards him, closing the space in between them, she yelled, "You! It's been you I've wanted! There, are you happy now, Dean Thomas?! That day, when you were in the library with Parkinson," she spatted Parkinson like it was a deadly venom, "& you were frenching with her, I saw it! Do you think I wanted to see that?! After all that time that I've dreamed of you & wished you were mine, & I see that?! Does God hate me or something?! Well, now it's too late to fix anything, so go back to that Slytherin slut & LET ME DIE!" Going to slit her throat, she held the dagger up, but Dean grabbed her hand & pulled it down. Then, he did something that shocked her: he kissed her. And it wasn't just a peck or something, it was a real kiss. This is what she always wanted: to kiss Dean Thomas. She kissed him back, melting into it, but then thought of this wrong, so she panicked & broke it. "What the hell are you doing?! I can't kiss you if you're kissing Parkinson!" she yelled, noticing that she has been crying the whole time. He whispered softly, "Hermione, I never kissed her. Don't you get it? I've never loved Pansy Parkinson, & would never want to kiss her. That's why I wanted to find you today; because someone was pretending to be me so they could drive you to this. Goyle & Parkinson were planning this so you could come up & do something crazy! So far, their plan has worked." "What?! I can't believe that slimy, stupid, ugly, two-faced bloody prick!" she yelled, severely pissed off. She then felt Dean's thumb wiping away her tears as she cried harder. Her chocolate brown eyes gazed into his dark brown ones, & she couldn't waver from his gaze. What she saw, it was unbelievable; there was kindness, care, &....love in those dark orbs. She has never been loved in her whole life, even her parents' didn't say they loved her anymore, so she gave up on love. But now.....she was reconsidering it. Quietly, she asked, "Why?" Startled, he asked, "Why what?" "Why are you up here with me, instead of with Seamus? What's so great about being up here with me?" Taking her head into his hands, he whispered, "Because you're the one I've always wanted. Ever since I first set eyes on you, I knew I loved you. You don't understand how hard it is for me to see you walk in the opposite direction while I want you to be walking my way. I've always loved your bushy chestnut hair, & your chocolate brown eyes. You see Hermione...... I love you, & I always will love you. Nothing & nobody will ever change the way I feel about you." For her, shock was an understatement. She was....she couldn't even put her feeling into words. Instead, all she could do was kiss him again, then whisper, "I love you too."
*A/N: I dedicated this short story to my boyfriend, Nelson, because if it wasn't for the way he makes me feel every time I'm with him, I wouldn't be here right now. I also might do a connection story with this one, but after I'm done my other ones. Just review & tell me what you think. Later days.*
Kill. You've got to kill. Kill...kill...KILL!!!
This one day was no different from others, except for one pointer: she couldn't take it anymore. For her, this was it. She was going to finally give in to those little voices in her head. She would finally kill, but it wasn't just someone.....it was herself.
'This is a good enough spot,' she thought to herself as she stepped onto the Astronomy Tower. She had a known knowledge that nobody came up here, only for their class & that was it. This tower was sort of a get-away for herself when things got rough, but now this would be her grave. She quickly spread all of her things she would need for what she was about to do on the cold, stony floor: her wand, a hair tie, a piece of parchment, a quill, & lastly, the most important piece of all: her dagger. It was a special sort of dagger she had bought at Hogsmede the last time they went. It had a silver handle embroidered with rubies & diamonds, & it even had a dragon curled around it, but that wasn't what she was focusing on. She ran her finger over the blade of the dagger & smiled when it was still sharp. As she started writing the quick note on the parchment, she thought about what everyone has done to her. She remembered all of the times about how all of the Slytherins despised her because she was a Muggleborn, how now she was shunned from Harry & Ron's existence, about how Draco had died, & also how all of her hard work was for nothing, making her anti-social, never having a decent boyfriend in her life. Then, her mind wandered to the one thing that was driving her to this.
FLASHBACK
She was working in the library as usual, being almost like a home to her. Wanting to finish her Transfiguration homework quickly, she was bent over a book, trying to keep her thoughts from wandering to Dean Thomas. She forgot when she first started falling for him; it just sort of happened one day. She loved the way he laughed, the way he & Seamus were always planning another prank away in a corner, the way he bent his head over so nobody could see him snickering, the way his dark, black hair fell over his eyes, the way his eyes revealed his emotions inside.....she loved everything about him. All the sudden, she heard something from behind a bookshelf. Being the curious one she was, she decided to peak at what it was, & the sight that met her eyes burned deep within her heart. She saw her Dean, her love, with......Pansy Parkinson?! That Slytherin slut!, she thought to herself, anger & jealousy burning deep within herself. No wonder Dean would like her better, she had long blonde hair & deep blue eyes, making her the object of many Hogwarts' guys' play toys. I bet he chose her because she's prettier & probably better than me. At least she isn't an anti-social bookworm like I am, she thought to herself, almost on the brink of tears. Then, Parkinson had the guts to start...frenching her Dean! "How could I be so stupid," she said quietly to herself, & a tear slide down her cheek & onto her lips. Before she started crying a river, she ran out of the library, her work quickly forgotten.
END OF FLASHBACK
Well, they won't have to worry about me anymore, she thought to herself, smiling like a maniac. She had just finished that note, saying how she was glad to be gone & say good-bye to her parents for her. She then picked up the hair tie & pulled back her now fully straight chestnut hair, getting it out of her face so it would be easier to do her job. Picking up her wand, she magiked her piece of parchment to be floating in the air for anyone walking in after she was done to see, & stood up, her special dagger in hand. Deciding to wear Muggle clothing for the last time, her dark red tank top clung to her body, the silver star showing out more than usual, her tight black pants keeping her warm. As her dark red cloak swayed in the afternoon breeze, she looked over at the Hogwarts' grounds for the final time. How she was going to miss the lake, but being rid of this life was more important to her than a lake. "Good-bye Dean; if only you knew," she muttered to herself, her chocolate brown eyes brimming with tears. Just as she was going to stab herself through the heart, she heard a soft voice that stopped her heart & stop her actions. Oh no....it can't be.
"Hermione? What are you doing?" he said quietly, barely audible. Hermione didn't want to turn around; she couldn't face him. Those voices saying 'Kill...' were still strong, but she put them aside for the moment & turned around to face him. There he was, the perfect guy he was, standing there. He was not the last person she wanted to see before she died, & if he kept looking like that, she was going to forget killing herself. He was standing there, with his dark green cloak fluttering in the wind, underneath having his black T-shirt clinging to his body with a pair of dark blue jeans keeping him warm. His dark black hair fell into his eyes, which were trying to pry into her soul. She almost gave in to those dark eyes, wanting to tell him everything, but she willed herself to fight it. Whispering threateningly, she said, "Get out of here, Dean. You shouldn't be prowling around where you're not wanted at." Confusion overcame his face, then turned into worry & panic after seeing all of her things on the stony surface, including the dagger in her hand. Taking a step towards her, he asked, "What is all of this? What are you trying to do...kill yourself?" Smiling menacingly, she replied, "That's exactly what I'm doing. Now, if you don't mind, go back to your Slytherin slut & let me bleed in peace." She then took a step back, his body heat clogging her senses, but he didn't except her answer. "Hermione, why are you doing this? You're a great student, you have the best grades in our year, & you have the two best friends that everyone wished they had! What's wrong with that?" This really got a nerve. How can he think my life's perfect?!, she thought angrily to herself. Before she could stop it from happening, she saw herself telling him everything.
"Why am I doing this?! It's more like why it took me so long to do this! You all think my life's perfect? Well, let me give you an update. First of all, what's so great about being the best student in our year? I couldn't bloody well care if I was the smartest person in the wizarding world! Yeah, maybe it's great being smart, but where are you without friends? Also, Harry & Ron are not my friends; to them, I'm just a human encyclopedia. They use me for answers & to copy from, not as a good friend. If you didn't know, they've shunned me a long time ago. They don't care about me, they only care about their selves." He seemed shocked, but she could tell he wasn't going to give up. Taking another step towards her, causing her to step back, he said, "Well, they shouldn't have done that to you. You should have stood up against them! Demand the respect you want! You can't just let people walk all over you! You still have hope, though! If you wish & dream, those wishes & dreams will come true!" Getting even more mad, she took a step towards him & yelled, "I know I let people walk all over me! Do you think I like it?! Of course I don't! I just can't help it; I'm weak & pathetic! And have hope?! You've got to be kidding me! I've given up on wishes & dreams a long time ago! Why?! Because they never gave me the one thing I wanted! And you want to know what that one thing was?! Do you?!" Taking a step towards her, he said, "Of course I do! I want to know what's making you do this to yourself!" Taking a step towards him, closing the space in between them, she yelled, "You! It's been you I've wanted! There, are you happy now, Dean Thomas?! That day, when you were in the library with Parkinson," she spatted Parkinson like it was a deadly venom, "& you were frenching with her, I saw it! Do you think I wanted to see that?! After all that time that I've dreamed of you & wished you were mine, & I see that?! Does God hate me or something?! Well, now it's too late to fix anything, so go back to that Slytherin slut & LET ME DIE!" Going to slit her throat, she held the dagger up, but Dean grabbed her hand & pulled it down. Then, he did something that shocked her: he kissed her. And it wasn't just a peck or something, it was a real kiss. This is what she always wanted: to kiss Dean Thomas. She kissed him back, melting into it, but then thought of this wrong, so she panicked & broke it. "What the hell are you doing?! I can't kiss you if you're kissing Parkinson!" she yelled, noticing that she has been crying the whole time. He whispered softly, "Hermione, I never kissed her. Don't you get it? I've never loved Pansy Parkinson, & would never want to kiss her. That's why I wanted to find you today; because someone was pretending to be me so they could drive you to this. Goyle & Parkinson were planning this so you could come up & do something crazy! So far, their plan has worked." "What?! I can't believe that slimy, stupid, ugly, two-faced bloody prick!" she yelled, severely pissed off. She then felt Dean's thumb wiping away her tears as she cried harder. Her chocolate brown eyes gazed into his dark brown ones, & she couldn't waver from his gaze. What she saw, it was unbelievable; there was kindness, care, &....love in those dark orbs. She has never been loved in her whole life, even her parents' didn't say they loved her anymore, so she gave up on love. But now.....she was reconsidering it. Quietly, she asked, "Why?" Startled, he asked, "Why what?" "Why are you up here with me, instead of with Seamus? What's so great about being up here with me?" Taking her head into his hands, he whispered, "Because you're the one I've always wanted. Ever since I first set eyes on you, I knew I loved you. You don't understand how hard it is for me to see you walk in the opposite direction while I want you to be walking my way. I've always loved your bushy chestnut hair, & your chocolate brown eyes. You see Hermione...... I love you, & I always will love you. Nothing & nobody will ever change the way I feel about you." For her, shock was an understatement. She was....she couldn't even put her feeling into words. Instead, all she could do was kiss him again, then whisper, "I love you too."
*A/N: I dedicated this short story to my boyfriend, Nelson, because if it wasn't for the way he makes me feel every time I'm with him, I wouldn't be here right now. I also might do a connection story with this one, but after I'm done my other ones. Just review & tell me what you think. Later days.*