Ok, so I weakened and posted this before I got all the nice reviews I
requested. That does NOT mean I still don't want the reviews. Of course I
want reviews, why do you think I post fics? NEwayz, this chappie's gonna be
a songfic. A very long one. Seto and Jou're gonna be singing (yes, singing.
you have a problem with that?), but I'm also gonna add lyrics in between,
like a standard songfic. I'm gonna skip forward in time with this chappie.
It's likely to be a bit better this way. I apologize in advance for the
inevitable lack of enough angst (or, if it does get angsty, it's likely to
get sappy too, so I apologize for that), but that's what happens when I
ignore a story for even a few days, let alone two weeks: it grows wild and
somehow gets a hold of a mind of its own. Yeah. NEwayz. I think I might
have one or two chapters after this, or, if I can't make this one end in a
cliffie (evil me, I know) I may just make it all one long chapter. I think
today or tomorrow I'll write a fic to an idea that's been torturing me for
at least a month. I'm not kidding. I've actually been able to ignore my
muse's half-ideas for a month. Long enough to actually fill in some of the
details that my muse wouldn't. NEwayz, when I get that one up, I'll add a
notice chapter to all my other Yugioh fics so that people know when they
can read it. Also, one last thing: I am seriously considering taking my
Harry Potter fic down, since I am not going to continue it. I don't like
it, it bugs me, and I hate the way it stares maliciously me in the face
every time I go to check my stats. IT DARED TO MOCK ME, SO NOW IT WILL PAY
THE PRICE!!!!!!!! If NEone disagrees with me, NOW IS THE TIME TO SPEAK
UP!!!!! OTHERWISE THAT RA-DAMNED PIECE OF TRASH IS GOING DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!
Tenshi = angel
Disclaimer: Sorry, I've sorta been ignoring these in all my other stories/chapters. Sue me. (NO, ON SECOND THOUGHT, PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I don't have very much money, so you couldn't get much from suing me. I don't own Yugioh, nor do I own the song. The first one, which is added into the story like a regular songfic, is called Somewhere I Belong, and it's by Linkin Park. I didn't use the whole song. The one Seto and Jou sing is called "All The Things She Said," by T.A.T.U. Wherever you see a 'he' in that song, it's been changed from a 'she'. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
CHAPTER 6: Song And Strength
Light blue eyes filled with tears as they stared at the ceiling of the school he had once hated for such stupid reasons. The teachers wasted his time. He had better things to do. A company to run, a little brother to support. Well. Soon, he wouldn't have that. Soon, he wouldn't have the little brother to support. The little brother would be gone, forever. He realized, chuckling bitterly to himself, that he had really been so naïve before all this had happened. He had thought he hated the school then. Really, that was just an immature grudge over a petty problem. Now, now he knew what true hatred was. And bitterness. And pain.
~*~When this began
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me ~*~
He turned the corner, and walked towards the principal's office. It was time. Time to carry out his plan, time to show the school what his life was really like. But, damnit, he was so scared! He wished he didn't have to do this, or at least, not alone. He knew Jou would be beside him, physically, but he also knew that he was alone, in the truest sense of the world. For all that he tried to help, Jou could never understand what he was going through. What Jou was going through was only the faintest memory of the merest shadow of his pain. But he was grateful to Jou. Intensely grateful. Jou was the only thing that had kept him from losing his mind. Jou was the only thing keeping him alive at this point. The only thing keeping him sane through the confusion and the pain.
~*~I was confused~*~
He swung the principal's door open, not caring about whether he may be interrupting something inside. He knew who was there: Jou and the principal. He was therefore very surprised to discover that his little tenshi was also there. Not to mention, he was quite shocked. He stuttered for a few seconds, then managed to finally find his voice.
"Mokuba?" he croaked, astounded. "What are you.. you can't just.. why.." Mokuba, sitting in a wheelchair, smiled as warmly as he could through obvious pain.
"I wanted to..be there..big brother," he gasped, finding it hard to talk when he couldn't even breathe without the aid of an oxygen mask. "To..tell them."
"Tell them what, Mokuba?" Seto asked, hoping to throw Mokuba off the scent. He didn't want his little brother to have to go through this, it was too much of a strain. "Tell who what?"
Mokuba smiled knowingly. "Don't..pretend you..don't know, Nii-sama. I know you do. I know..you need to tell them..your way. Well..I need to..tell them..my way. With you. With you..and Jou. Please, Nii-sama. I need to."
Seto frowned at his younger brother, then glared daggers over his head at Jou.
"Jou," he said, "you do realize the punishment in this country, for helping an escaped prisoner?"
"Hey, Seto, I had nothing to do with it. I swear. Man, this kid is determined. He got out all on his own."
Mokuba shook his head, then spoke. "Not quite..by myself," he gasped. "There was a..nurse there. She was kind. She helped me get out. She understood what you don't. You mentioned the..penalty of helping..escaping prisoners. That's all I am..in that place, Seto. A prisoner. That place may..be good for my..body, but it's not..good for the..part of me..that really matters. Not for the part that still..wants to live anyways." Hearing that broke Seto's heart. Not only because his little tenshi felt that way, but because he had voiced what Seto had been thinking since the incident. They both felt trapped. Mokuba, by the sterile hospital walls, and Seto, by his own grief and pain.
~*~And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me~*~
"Alright, Mokuba," said Seto, finally caving in. "We'll probably start in about 10 minutes." He tossed Mokuba a 5-dollar bill. "Could you go get a drink for all three of us from the school cafeteria? Mocha Frappuchino for me. There's an elevator at the end of the hallway. Jou and I need to talk." Mokuba nodded and wheeled himself out the door, shutting it as he went.
Seto sighed. He stared at the closed door, then at Jou.
"He's so strong," he said to his lover. "Stronger than I could ever hope to be. He's the one who's going to be..leaving soon, and I'm the one falling to pieces. I can't take this, Jou."
"It's okay," came the answer. "It's okay, I'm here now. I'll help in any way I can. I understand."
"No, that's just it, Jou," said Seto bitterly. "You don't understand. You can't possibly. But I am grateful for all the help. I couldn't do this without you."
Jou was confused. "What don't I understand, Seto?"
Seto sighed. "Everything. You look on, and you tell yourself that you understand, but really, you don't. Because that's all you do. Look on. That's all you can do, really. You tell yourself you understand the pain I'm going through, but..but there is no pain."
"Seto, I'm not following."
"The pain has long since disappeared, Jou. It's gone. It's left nothing behind, nothing but emptiness. Nothing. And that hurts more than if I could feel, because I can't even feel upset that my brother's gone. And it's all my fault. I should have been there for him. This whole thing is my fault."
~*~But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own~*~
Jou embraced his lover and whispered in his ear, "Alright, maybe I don't understand. But that doesn't change the fact that I'll always be here for you. And if you blame yourself for this one more time, I will be forced to take drastic measures. It is NOT your fault."
Seto sighed heavily into Jou's hair. "Thank you."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Just then, the principal of the school walked into the office. "It's time, boys. They're all in the auditorium. But, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, if you've changed your mind, I can tell them to return to class. None of them have any idea what's about to happen. I can still call it off.." Seto cut him off.
"No, sir. Thank you, but I need to do this. We need to do this. This is the only hope I have of ever healing. And I so badly want to heal. I just want everything to go back to the way it was. I want my brother back. Aside from Jou, being in his presence was the only place I felt like I belonged. I need him back. I just..it feels so unreal that he'll be gone. This feels like my only way to keep part of him with me. My only way to heal." The principal nodded.
~*~I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong ~*~
The principal left, and Seto and Jou stood up. But Seto collapsed back into the chair again. Jou looked at him with worry.
"Seto, are you ok?"
"Yes, Jou," Seto answered wearily. "I'm ok. I'm just a little weak from all of this, I guess. It's a wonder I've even managed to stay standing through all of it." Jou nodded.
~*~And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face~*~
"It's scary, Jou," Seto continued. "It's scary waking up in the morning, and looking around my room. I come out hoping, praying he'll come running up to me and beg me to make him some cheesy scrambled eggs with the secret family recipe, then run down and grab the newspaper, tearing it to shreds until he finds the comics. But then I remember that he can't, because he's not there."
~*~I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind~*~
"It's driving me mad. I don't even know what I am anymore."
~*~So what am I~*~
"And that's not the only part that's hard. I came to school this morning, and as soon as I put one foot through the door, everyone went quiet. They all just stared at me. I guess word travels more quickly than I would have imagined. They all seem to have their own ideas, or their own stories, about what happened. The teachers pity me, but most of the students look at me like I'm some sort of rat."
~*~What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me ~*~
"But, Seto," Jou said concernedly, "won't this be a bad idea, then? You..you've already lost so much. You don't want to lose even more."
"Yes, Jou. I need to do this. I can't lose anything by it. I've already lost everything that ever mattered to me..except for you, of course. I might as well do this, I've got nothing to lose by it."
~*~Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own ~*~
Jou nodded. "Well then," he said, standing up, "we'd better get a move on. The show's gonna start soon, and we need to get changed." Seto shook his head.
"I'm already changed, under my trench coat. You go, and meet me backstage. I need to go find Mokuba. Did he tell you he wanted to change into anything, or have anything specific with him, on stage?" Jou shook his head and left to get changed.
Seto walked out the door and nearly collided with a wheelchair. "Hey, little tenshi," he said to its occupant, "are you sure you want to do this?" Mokuba nodded. "I need to. I need them..to know."
~*~I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today~*~
"Where's Jou?" Mokuba asked.
"Getting changed," Seto replied. "We're gonna meet him back stage. Come on. It's time."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Seto trembled as he stared out from behind the curtain, at the many confused faces, wondering why an emergency assembly had been scheduled. That almost never happened.
Jou noticed his discomfort. "Are you two absolutely sure you want to do this? We can still back out."
"No, Jou," Seto replied. "We need to," added Mokuba.
~*~I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong~*~
Seto took a deep breath and walked out onto the stage. The room suddenly went quiet, wondering what the heck Seto was up there for. The stage lights turned on.
"You're probably all wondering why I'm here," he started. Whispers and mumbles filled the room, agreeing with him.
"I'm here to tell you about something that happened a week and a half ago. You all know my little tenshi, my little brother Mokuba, right?" Nods and mumbles.
"He's the greatest kid on earth. Sometimes I think his purity, his innocence is the only thing keeping the gods from getting fed up with this whole planet and demolishing it." He sighed.
"Only, last week, someone didn't think that way. They..they attacked my little brother to get back at me for something they thought I did. I didn't do anything of the sort, not that they would listen to me. These people are sitting right here, in this room." Shocked grumbles and whispers filled the room. Seto scouted the room with his eyes, until he found who he was looking for. Good. They were all here. Of course, he wouldn't tell the whole school who they were. That would be low, the kind of thing they would do. But he did want to make sure they all heard what he had to say. He continued.
"What I am about to say will shock all of you. Some of you will be disgusted with them for doing it, some of you will be disgusted with me for the supposed reason they did it. All of you will be disgusted. Feel free to leave if you need to. Except, of course, the people who did this. They'd better stick around if they don't want the whole school to know who they are." He glared at the group he was speaking of, all sitting together in the back row. Some rolled their eyes, some glared angrily at him. He just ignored them.
"Last week," he started, but then found that he couldn't continue. Tears leaked slowly down his face, then began to fall faster, and soon his body was racked with sobs. He sank to his knees in anguish. He cried and cried, for what seemed like years. He didn't care.
Finally, when he had cried out all the tears he had left, he continued. "They took away his innocence. They took away everything he had, just to get back at me for something I didn't do. Now my little tenshi has AIDS."
Horrified gasps filled the room. One girl ran out the doors, looking as if she was about to be sick. Her friend ran out to go get her, and bring her back in, but Seto called to her.
"Just leave her, Kristen," he yelled over the noise. Then, when people had finally calmed down enough for him to be heard over the noise, he continued.
"They did this because I..they thought I seduced someone into spending a night with me. I didn't. the person loves me, as much as I love him. Worse, they all seem to be homophobes. Not good, because the person I supposedly seduced is a guy." A shocked murmur rose in the room, but Seto kept talking.
"That's right, a guy. I'm gay. What's even more surprising is that the man I love, and who loves me, is..is Jounouchi Katsuya." That really shocked people. Jounouchi Katsuya, gay! Who would have thought someone like him?
"Now that this has happened, you are all going to hear different stories, different rumors about how this happened, and why. I called you all in here to tell you the truth. You may think what you like after this, but just hear me out."
Then the lights went dimmer, and a screen came down from the ceiling. This was what would be used to show the people what had happened. Then the music started, and Seto grabbed a microphone. Now was as good a time as ever to show people a secret he had kept well. He could sing, and sing well. So could his brother, and Jou. The singing part of the song began.
~*~All the things we said
All the things we said
Running through my head
All the things we said
All the things we said
Running through my head
This is not enough~*~
The school was shocked. How was it that the whole of Domino High School had missed a voice like that? Just then an image flashed up onto the screen. It showed a drenched, bloody, limping Seto Kaiba, running for his life, a little boy unconscious in his arms.
~*~I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because~*~
Then Jou walked onto the stage, holding a microphone. He walked towards Seto, singing the next part of the song.
~*~Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?~*~
Another picture flashed onto the screen. Seto and Jou, holding each other in their arms, passionately kissing each other for all they were worth. Seto smiled. People would no doubt be shocked by this image. They were just lucky Seto hadn't decided to show them what he and Jou had been doing later that night. But how could anyone not see how happy they were together? They belonged with each other!
The next part of the song was his to sing.
~*~I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out~*~
He closed his eyes as he sang, for emphasis. He took off his trench coat. Underneath was a black t-shirt, with white wings on the back, where the wings of an angel would be. He was wearing black jeans. Jou was wearing the same outfit. Jou continued the song.
~*~Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free~*~
Seto echoed the last line.
~*~Nobody else so we can be free~*~
Then Mokuba came-or rather, wheeled-out from behind the curtain, carrying a microphone in his lap. The people in the audience gasped in shock as they saw the state the little tenshi was in. bruises and cuts laced his bare arms and face. Deep cuts could be seen in numerous places. He wore an oxygen mask, and was so weak that he could hardly keep himself awake. He was not a pretty sight.
Another image flashed up on the screen. This one had been simulated, using technology Seto had developed and information Mokuba had divulged. All three of the boys cringed in pain at this one. It depicted Mokuba hanging by his neck from a tree branch. His tormenters had tried to hang him. He had the scar to prove it.
Mokuba picked up the microphone in his lap. It was his turn to tell the room full of people what he felt.
~*~All the things you said
All the things you said
Running through my head
All the things you said
All the things you said
Running through my head
This is not enough
This is not enough~*~
All three of the boys came together in the middle of the stage, in front of an image of the three in Jou's living room, one of them unconscious on the couch, the other two waiting for an ambulance. All three sang the next part.
~*~All the things we said
All the things we said~*~
Suddenly, Seto seemed to get an idea. He whispered something to his brother, who seemed shocked at first, but then nodded. They both took off their shirts.
The audience were shocked..again. Seto and Mokuba's bodies were laced with cuts, bruises and dried blood. It was like some gruesome mockery of a massive tattoo. Only much more painful.
Seto locked eyes with his tormenters in the back row. They didn't even seem to care about what they were looking at. 'Probably think I spent a whole bunch of money on face paint,' he thought bitterly.
Seto and Mokuba looked towards Jou. Even he seemed shocked at the sight, and he had seen it before. Seto continued with the next verse of the song.
~*~And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want him so much~*~
Just then, the sprinkler system went off. A few people jumped, but Seto continued with the song. He had requested that the system be set off at that point. For effect, if you will. He merely began to sing the next part of the verse.
~*~Wanna fly him away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame~*~
A new image flashed over the screen. Jou and Seto kissing again, this time in a park. It was the time when Mokuba had first discovered his brother was gay. All the little kids were staring at the couple, including Mokuba, but they didn't care. There was nothing wrong with what they were doing. Not when they fit so well together!
Jou took it upon himself to sing this time.
~*~When they stop and stare - don't worry me
'Cause I'm feeling for him what he's feeling for me~*~
Then Mokuba sang again. He wanted to make sure the people who had done this to his brother knew that he would never forgive them. He could never forgive them. He couldn't just watch as they tore his Nii-sama to pieces, then turn the other cheek and run back to those same people.
~*~I can try to pretend, I can try to forget~*~
All of a sudden, Seto fell to his knees, clutching his head as if in agony. But he kept on singing, so the audience knew he wasn't really in pain. Not physical pain, anyways.
~*~But it's driving me mad, going out of my head~*~
Seto looked up at the ceiling. The audience looked to see what he was staring at, and saw that there was another screen on the ceiling. It held a picture of a pretty young woman of about 25 years. Seto and Mokuba's mother. The screen was up there to signify that the boys' mother was also up there, in heaven. Mokuba sang.
~*~Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?~*~
Then Seto finished the verse.
~*~Yes, I've lost my mind~*~
The last verse of the song was Jou's. He stared at the screen behind him, which had changed to show a picture of his father.
~*~Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?~*~
The song ended, and Mokuba was firmly wheeled of stage by Seto.
"But Nii-sama-"
"No buts. You're sick, and you're going back to the hospital. That was almost too much for you. Now go wait by my locker." A very annoyed Mokuba did as he was told, and Seto went back to the stage for Jou. He whispered something in his ear, and Jou nodded. They both left the stage, without saying or doing anything more.
They headed back to Seto's locker, and to Jou's, which was right beside it. They got there to discover that Mokuba had somehow opened Seto's locker, and was searching in his backpack for a dollar. He finally found what he was looking for, just before the backpack was yanked unceremoniously from his hands by a very annoyed Nii-sama. Jou just laughed.
"But big brother, I'm thirsty!" complained Mokuba when he found out he would have to relinquish the dollar as well.
"Get water. And give me the hairpin."
"But-"
"No buts. You've already had one Coke more than you're supposed to. Water, or nothing. And give me the hairpin." Mokuba grumbled, gave up the hairpin he had used to break into Seto's locker, and wheeled off to find the water fountain. Seto stared at his retreating back.
"He has so much spirit. How does he manage it? He just told a whole school he has AIDS, sang a whole song on stage (his first performance, mind you) and all he can think about is Coke!" Jou sighed.
"I just don't know, Seto. I just don't know."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ok, so now the title of the story finally makes a bit of sense. A little bit, NEwayz. I changed little bits of the song "All The Things She Said," but I'm not gonna post the real song here. I trust that we all know how to do a search on the internet if we want to know the real lyrics. I'm gonna pretend Jou's father is not abusive in this fic. I have no idea what he's supposed to be like on the show, and this suits my purposes. I'm gonna start on the last chapter right away, so I'll probably be able to post it today. R&R ONEGAI!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Yes, I know Mokuba could barely talk at the beginning of the chapter, and then he was singing at the end. Oh well, we'll just pretend for now that that makes sense.
Tenshi = angel
Disclaimer: Sorry, I've sorta been ignoring these in all my other stories/chapters. Sue me. (NO, ON SECOND THOUGHT, PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I don't have very much money, so you couldn't get much from suing me. I don't own Yugioh, nor do I own the song. The first one, which is added into the story like a regular songfic, is called Somewhere I Belong, and it's by Linkin Park. I didn't use the whole song. The one Seto and Jou sing is called "All The Things She Said," by T.A.T.U. Wherever you see a 'he' in that song, it's been changed from a 'she'. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
CHAPTER 6: Song And Strength
Light blue eyes filled with tears as they stared at the ceiling of the school he had once hated for such stupid reasons. The teachers wasted his time. He had better things to do. A company to run, a little brother to support. Well. Soon, he wouldn't have that. Soon, he wouldn't have the little brother to support. The little brother would be gone, forever. He realized, chuckling bitterly to himself, that he had really been so naïve before all this had happened. He had thought he hated the school then. Really, that was just an immature grudge over a petty problem. Now, now he knew what true hatred was. And bitterness. And pain.
~*~When this began
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me ~*~
He turned the corner, and walked towards the principal's office. It was time. Time to carry out his plan, time to show the school what his life was really like. But, damnit, he was so scared! He wished he didn't have to do this, or at least, not alone. He knew Jou would be beside him, physically, but he also knew that he was alone, in the truest sense of the world. For all that he tried to help, Jou could never understand what he was going through. What Jou was going through was only the faintest memory of the merest shadow of his pain. But he was grateful to Jou. Intensely grateful. Jou was the only thing that had kept him from losing his mind. Jou was the only thing keeping him alive at this point. The only thing keeping him sane through the confusion and the pain.
~*~I was confused~*~
He swung the principal's door open, not caring about whether he may be interrupting something inside. He knew who was there: Jou and the principal. He was therefore very surprised to discover that his little tenshi was also there. Not to mention, he was quite shocked. He stuttered for a few seconds, then managed to finally find his voice.
"Mokuba?" he croaked, astounded. "What are you.. you can't just.. why.." Mokuba, sitting in a wheelchair, smiled as warmly as he could through obvious pain.
"I wanted to..be there..big brother," he gasped, finding it hard to talk when he couldn't even breathe without the aid of an oxygen mask. "To..tell them."
"Tell them what, Mokuba?" Seto asked, hoping to throw Mokuba off the scent. He didn't want his little brother to have to go through this, it was too much of a strain. "Tell who what?"
Mokuba smiled knowingly. "Don't..pretend you..don't know, Nii-sama. I know you do. I know..you need to tell them..your way. Well..I need to..tell them..my way. With you. With you..and Jou. Please, Nii-sama. I need to."
Seto frowned at his younger brother, then glared daggers over his head at Jou.
"Jou," he said, "you do realize the punishment in this country, for helping an escaped prisoner?"
"Hey, Seto, I had nothing to do with it. I swear. Man, this kid is determined. He got out all on his own."
Mokuba shook his head, then spoke. "Not quite..by myself," he gasped. "There was a..nurse there. She was kind. She helped me get out. She understood what you don't. You mentioned the..penalty of helping..escaping prisoners. That's all I am..in that place, Seto. A prisoner. That place may..be good for my..body, but it's not..good for the..part of me..that really matters. Not for the part that still..wants to live anyways." Hearing that broke Seto's heart. Not only because his little tenshi felt that way, but because he had voiced what Seto had been thinking since the incident. They both felt trapped. Mokuba, by the sterile hospital walls, and Seto, by his own grief and pain.
~*~And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me~*~
"Alright, Mokuba," said Seto, finally caving in. "We'll probably start in about 10 minutes." He tossed Mokuba a 5-dollar bill. "Could you go get a drink for all three of us from the school cafeteria? Mocha Frappuchino for me. There's an elevator at the end of the hallway. Jou and I need to talk." Mokuba nodded and wheeled himself out the door, shutting it as he went.
Seto sighed. He stared at the closed door, then at Jou.
"He's so strong," he said to his lover. "Stronger than I could ever hope to be. He's the one who's going to be..leaving soon, and I'm the one falling to pieces. I can't take this, Jou."
"It's okay," came the answer. "It's okay, I'm here now. I'll help in any way I can. I understand."
"No, that's just it, Jou," said Seto bitterly. "You don't understand. You can't possibly. But I am grateful for all the help. I couldn't do this without you."
Jou was confused. "What don't I understand, Seto?"
Seto sighed. "Everything. You look on, and you tell yourself that you understand, but really, you don't. Because that's all you do. Look on. That's all you can do, really. You tell yourself you understand the pain I'm going through, but..but there is no pain."
"Seto, I'm not following."
"The pain has long since disappeared, Jou. It's gone. It's left nothing behind, nothing but emptiness. Nothing. And that hurts more than if I could feel, because I can't even feel upset that my brother's gone. And it's all my fault. I should have been there for him. This whole thing is my fault."
~*~But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own~*~
Jou embraced his lover and whispered in his ear, "Alright, maybe I don't understand. But that doesn't change the fact that I'll always be here for you. And if you blame yourself for this one more time, I will be forced to take drastic measures. It is NOT your fault."
Seto sighed heavily into Jou's hair. "Thank you."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Just then, the principal of the school walked into the office. "It's time, boys. They're all in the auditorium. But, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, if you've changed your mind, I can tell them to return to class. None of them have any idea what's about to happen. I can still call it off.." Seto cut him off.
"No, sir. Thank you, but I need to do this. We need to do this. This is the only hope I have of ever healing. And I so badly want to heal. I just want everything to go back to the way it was. I want my brother back. Aside from Jou, being in his presence was the only place I felt like I belonged. I need him back. I just..it feels so unreal that he'll be gone. This feels like my only way to keep part of him with me. My only way to heal." The principal nodded.
~*~I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong ~*~
The principal left, and Seto and Jou stood up. But Seto collapsed back into the chair again. Jou looked at him with worry.
"Seto, are you ok?"
"Yes, Jou," Seto answered wearily. "I'm ok. I'm just a little weak from all of this, I guess. It's a wonder I've even managed to stay standing through all of it." Jou nodded.
~*~And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face~*~
"It's scary, Jou," Seto continued. "It's scary waking up in the morning, and looking around my room. I come out hoping, praying he'll come running up to me and beg me to make him some cheesy scrambled eggs with the secret family recipe, then run down and grab the newspaper, tearing it to shreds until he finds the comics. But then I remember that he can't, because he's not there."
~*~I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind~*~
"It's driving me mad. I don't even know what I am anymore."
~*~So what am I~*~
"And that's not the only part that's hard. I came to school this morning, and as soon as I put one foot through the door, everyone went quiet. They all just stared at me. I guess word travels more quickly than I would have imagined. They all seem to have their own ideas, or their own stories, about what happened. The teachers pity me, but most of the students look at me like I'm some sort of rat."
~*~What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me ~*~
"But, Seto," Jou said concernedly, "won't this be a bad idea, then? You..you've already lost so much. You don't want to lose even more."
"Yes, Jou. I need to do this. I can't lose anything by it. I've already lost everything that ever mattered to me..except for you, of course. I might as well do this, I've got nothing to lose by it."
~*~Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own ~*~
Jou nodded. "Well then," he said, standing up, "we'd better get a move on. The show's gonna start soon, and we need to get changed." Seto shook his head.
"I'm already changed, under my trench coat. You go, and meet me backstage. I need to go find Mokuba. Did he tell you he wanted to change into anything, or have anything specific with him, on stage?" Jou shook his head and left to get changed.
Seto walked out the door and nearly collided with a wheelchair. "Hey, little tenshi," he said to its occupant, "are you sure you want to do this?" Mokuba nodded. "I need to. I need them..to know."
~*~I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today~*~
"Where's Jou?" Mokuba asked.
"Getting changed," Seto replied. "We're gonna meet him back stage. Come on. It's time."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Seto trembled as he stared out from behind the curtain, at the many confused faces, wondering why an emergency assembly had been scheduled. That almost never happened.
Jou noticed his discomfort. "Are you two absolutely sure you want to do this? We can still back out."
"No, Jou," Seto replied. "We need to," added Mokuba.
~*~I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong~*~
Seto took a deep breath and walked out onto the stage. The room suddenly went quiet, wondering what the heck Seto was up there for. The stage lights turned on.
"You're probably all wondering why I'm here," he started. Whispers and mumbles filled the room, agreeing with him.
"I'm here to tell you about something that happened a week and a half ago. You all know my little tenshi, my little brother Mokuba, right?" Nods and mumbles.
"He's the greatest kid on earth. Sometimes I think his purity, his innocence is the only thing keeping the gods from getting fed up with this whole planet and demolishing it." He sighed.
"Only, last week, someone didn't think that way. They..they attacked my little brother to get back at me for something they thought I did. I didn't do anything of the sort, not that they would listen to me. These people are sitting right here, in this room." Shocked grumbles and whispers filled the room. Seto scouted the room with his eyes, until he found who he was looking for. Good. They were all here. Of course, he wouldn't tell the whole school who they were. That would be low, the kind of thing they would do. But he did want to make sure they all heard what he had to say. He continued.
"What I am about to say will shock all of you. Some of you will be disgusted with them for doing it, some of you will be disgusted with me for the supposed reason they did it. All of you will be disgusted. Feel free to leave if you need to. Except, of course, the people who did this. They'd better stick around if they don't want the whole school to know who they are." He glared at the group he was speaking of, all sitting together in the back row. Some rolled their eyes, some glared angrily at him. He just ignored them.
"Last week," he started, but then found that he couldn't continue. Tears leaked slowly down his face, then began to fall faster, and soon his body was racked with sobs. He sank to his knees in anguish. He cried and cried, for what seemed like years. He didn't care.
Finally, when he had cried out all the tears he had left, he continued. "They took away his innocence. They took away everything he had, just to get back at me for something I didn't do. Now my little tenshi has AIDS."
Horrified gasps filled the room. One girl ran out the doors, looking as if she was about to be sick. Her friend ran out to go get her, and bring her back in, but Seto called to her.
"Just leave her, Kristen," he yelled over the noise. Then, when people had finally calmed down enough for him to be heard over the noise, he continued.
"They did this because I..they thought I seduced someone into spending a night with me. I didn't. the person loves me, as much as I love him. Worse, they all seem to be homophobes. Not good, because the person I supposedly seduced is a guy." A shocked murmur rose in the room, but Seto kept talking.
"That's right, a guy. I'm gay. What's even more surprising is that the man I love, and who loves me, is..is Jounouchi Katsuya." That really shocked people. Jounouchi Katsuya, gay! Who would have thought someone like him?
"Now that this has happened, you are all going to hear different stories, different rumors about how this happened, and why. I called you all in here to tell you the truth. You may think what you like after this, but just hear me out."
Then the lights went dimmer, and a screen came down from the ceiling. This was what would be used to show the people what had happened. Then the music started, and Seto grabbed a microphone. Now was as good a time as ever to show people a secret he had kept well. He could sing, and sing well. So could his brother, and Jou. The singing part of the song began.
~*~All the things we said
All the things we said
Running through my head
All the things we said
All the things we said
Running through my head
This is not enough~*~
The school was shocked. How was it that the whole of Domino High School had missed a voice like that? Just then an image flashed up onto the screen. It showed a drenched, bloody, limping Seto Kaiba, running for his life, a little boy unconscious in his arms.
~*~I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because~*~
Then Jou walked onto the stage, holding a microphone. He walked towards Seto, singing the next part of the song.
~*~Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?~*~
Another picture flashed onto the screen. Seto and Jou, holding each other in their arms, passionately kissing each other for all they were worth. Seto smiled. People would no doubt be shocked by this image. They were just lucky Seto hadn't decided to show them what he and Jou had been doing later that night. But how could anyone not see how happy they were together? They belonged with each other!
The next part of the song was his to sing.
~*~I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out~*~
He closed his eyes as he sang, for emphasis. He took off his trench coat. Underneath was a black t-shirt, with white wings on the back, where the wings of an angel would be. He was wearing black jeans. Jou was wearing the same outfit. Jou continued the song.
~*~Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free~*~
Seto echoed the last line.
~*~Nobody else so we can be free~*~
Then Mokuba came-or rather, wheeled-out from behind the curtain, carrying a microphone in his lap. The people in the audience gasped in shock as they saw the state the little tenshi was in. bruises and cuts laced his bare arms and face. Deep cuts could be seen in numerous places. He wore an oxygen mask, and was so weak that he could hardly keep himself awake. He was not a pretty sight.
Another image flashed up on the screen. This one had been simulated, using technology Seto had developed and information Mokuba had divulged. All three of the boys cringed in pain at this one. It depicted Mokuba hanging by his neck from a tree branch. His tormenters had tried to hang him. He had the scar to prove it.
Mokuba picked up the microphone in his lap. It was his turn to tell the room full of people what he felt.
~*~All the things you said
All the things you said
Running through my head
All the things you said
All the things you said
Running through my head
This is not enough
This is not enough~*~
All three of the boys came together in the middle of the stage, in front of an image of the three in Jou's living room, one of them unconscious on the couch, the other two waiting for an ambulance. All three sang the next part.
~*~All the things we said
All the things we said~*~
Suddenly, Seto seemed to get an idea. He whispered something to his brother, who seemed shocked at first, but then nodded. They both took off their shirts.
The audience were shocked..again. Seto and Mokuba's bodies were laced with cuts, bruises and dried blood. It was like some gruesome mockery of a massive tattoo. Only much more painful.
Seto locked eyes with his tormenters in the back row. They didn't even seem to care about what they were looking at. 'Probably think I spent a whole bunch of money on face paint,' he thought bitterly.
Seto and Mokuba looked towards Jou. Even he seemed shocked at the sight, and he had seen it before. Seto continued with the next verse of the song.
~*~And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want him so much~*~
Just then, the sprinkler system went off. A few people jumped, but Seto continued with the song. He had requested that the system be set off at that point. For effect, if you will. He merely began to sing the next part of the verse.
~*~Wanna fly him away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame~*~
A new image flashed over the screen. Jou and Seto kissing again, this time in a park. It was the time when Mokuba had first discovered his brother was gay. All the little kids were staring at the couple, including Mokuba, but they didn't care. There was nothing wrong with what they were doing. Not when they fit so well together!
Jou took it upon himself to sing this time.
~*~When they stop and stare - don't worry me
'Cause I'm feeling for him what he's feeling for me~*~
Then Mokuba sang again. He wanted to make sure the people who had done this to his brother knew that he would never forgive them. He could never forgive them. He couldn't just watch as they tore his Nii-sama to pieces, then turn the other cheek and run back to those same people.
~*~I can try to pretend, I can try to forget~*~
All of a sudden, Seto fell to his knees, clutching his head as if in agony. But he kept on singing, so the audience knew he wasn't really in pain. Not physical pain, anyways.
~*~But it's driving me mad, going out of my head~*~
Seto looked up at the ceiling. The audience looked to see what he was staring at, and saw that there was another screen on the ceiling. It held a picture of a pretty young woman of about 25 years. Seto and Mokuba's mother. The screen was up there to signify that the boys' mother was also up there, in heaven. Mokuba sang.
~*~Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?~*~
Then Seto finished the verse.
~*~Yes, I've lost my mind~*~
The last verse of the song was Jou's. He stared at the screen behind him, which had changed to show a picture of his father.
~*~Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?~*~
The song ended, and Mokuba was firmly wheeled of stage by Seto.
"But Nii-sama-"
"No buts. You're sick, and you're going back to the hospital. That was almost too much for you. Now go wait by my locker." A very annoyed Mokuba did as he was told, and Seto went back to the stage for Jou. He whispered something in his ear, and Jou nodded. They both left the stage, without saying or doing anything more.
They headed back to Seto's locker, and to Jou's, which was right beside it. They got there to discover that Mokuba had somehow opened Seto's locker, and was searching in his backpack for a dollar. He finally found what he was looking for, just before the backpack was yanked unceremoniously from his hands by a very annoyed Nii-sama. Jou just laughed.
"But big brother, I'm thirsty!" complained Mokuba when he found out he would have to relinquish the dollar as well.
"Get water. And give me the hairpin."
"But-"
"No buts. You've already had one Coke more than you're supposed to. Water, or nothing. And give me the hairpin." Mokuba grumbled, gave up the hairpin he had used to break into Seto's locker, and wheeled off to find the water fountain. Seto stared at his retreating back.
"He has so much spirit. How does he manage it? He just told a whole school he has AIDS, sang a whole song on stage (his first performance, mind you) and all he can think about is Coke!" Jou sighed.
"I just don't know, Seto. I just don't know."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ok, so now the title of the story finally makes a bit of sense. A little bit, NEwayz. I changed little bits of the song "All The Things She Said," but I'm not gonna post the real song here. I trust that we all know how to do a search on the internet if we want to know the real lyrics. I'm gonna pretend Jou's father is not abusive in this fic. I have no idea what he's supposed to be like on the show, and this suits my purposes. I'm gonna start on the last chapter right away, so I'll probably be able to post it today. R&R ONEGAI!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Yes, I know Mokuba could barely talk at the beginning of the chapter, and then he was singing at the end. Oh well, we'll just pretend for now that that makes sense.