Authoress: Okay, here's the 2nd and last chapter. You know, this was
originally going to be a one-shot, but then, so was "Live Another Day".
This is the chapter that is hopefully angsty. It's also a lot longer than
the other one. It's about 14 pages. Well, enjoy! P.S. This author's note is
not as long as the other one.
Readers: Phew!!
Authoress: I HEARD THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sends all readers to the Shadow Realm* There! You can read from there!!! Oh, and don't forget to review!!!!!!!!
Chapter 2: A Pair of Rebuilt Hearts
Ryou, as he had promised himself, Yugi and Yami, was not having fun. The three had met up with Malik, Yami Malik, Joey, Tristan, Téa, and Mai at the concert. It was still early, so they all went out for dinner as they had planned. Ryou had not enjoyed the greasy hamburgers.
"Yugi-" he started to whine, but said Yugi cut him off. He was dragging him by the arm, and Ryou had to stoop to accommodate the- MUCH- shorter teen.
"No," came the answer. "You are coming, Ryou, and that's all there is to it. Besides, it's better than sitting at home all night, stewing in your own guilt." Ryou had to fight back the urge to say that he wasn't so sure about that, and that it wasn't guilt he was stewing in anyway. He sighed.
They all sat down in the seats they had bought, and waited for the show to start. When it did, even Yugi, ever the optimist, was disappointed. It was extremely boring. Wail after wail, siren after siren, scream after scream accosted their ears. All but Ryou's. He had brought earplugs. All of a sudden, as the last act left the stage amidst a hale of rotten vegetables, the manager of the show came on. Everyone perked up. Maybe the last act had been cancelled and they could all go home.
"May I have your attention please," said the manager. "We have had a slight change in the last act. In your programs it says that the next act will be Zeno Celase. The performer has decided that he would like you all to know him by his real name, not just by his stage name. So please welcome Yami Bakura!!!!"
The nine teenagers sat stock still in their seats, oblivious to the polite, if reluctant, clapping all around them. Ryou could barely breathe. After a few seconds, he finally regained the presence of mind to look up onto the stage. There was his Yami, dressed from head to foot in the exact same leather outfit he himself was wearing. Ryou was still too shocked to react. Then Yami Bakura began to sing. He had a beautiful voice, and was born to sing. Not like Ryou.
~*~So many times I've wondered
Do you still remember me?
So many times I've speculated
What my life would be
If I hadn't said the things I said
If I hadn't lived the life I've lived
If I hadn't treated you the way I did~*~
Ryou sat, stunned. Where had those words come from? Surely he'd never heard them before, he would remember them if he had. Then, with a shock, he realized that his Yami had left the stage with the microphone, and was coming towards him. For a moment they were looking straight at each other, then Ryou had to avert his gaze. He could never stare long into those eyes. His Yami continued to sing. To him.
~*~So many times I've wanted
To hold you in my arms
To take back all the pain I've caused you
Take back all the harm
But it just isn't going to be
I'm not blind anymore, I see
You'll never come back; you can't even hear my plea~*~
The white-haired boy's mind was in a whirl. 'Does he truly care?' he thought incredulously. 'Does he even recognise after all this time that he hurt me?' Then an angry, hurt expression crossed his face.
'No,' he decided, 'he doesn't. How can he? Well, now's my chance to show him.' He stood angrily up, and his Yami grabbed his arm, thinking that he was leaving. But Ryou shook him off, and to everyone's astonishment, he headed towards the stage. He grabbed a mike. Now was the time to reveal to all his friends- and to his enemy- his two most closely guarded secrets. The first was that he could sing as well as his Yami could. The second was far more important, and he had been waiting to say it for 8 years.
~*~I'm looking up at you
You're staring back at me
Your eyes are burning holes and yet
I know you cannot see~*~
He stared out into the crowd, who were thinking that they were finally going to watch a good performance, and into the white, shocked faces of his friends, who knew that this had in no way been planned.
~*~The emptiness in me
The pain I hold inside
I can't take it anymore
I need to run and hide~*~
He walked down the stage to where his Yami was standing, shell-shocked, but quickly regaining his composure to sing the next part of his song.
~*~You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
Ryou was livid. How could his Yami do this to him? How could his Yami make such a mockery of him? With newfound anger comes newfound strength, and it was with this strength that his voice floated towards the ceiling, the audience, and most of all, to his Yami.
~*~I need to cry, I need to run away
This isn't any fun, anymore, anyway
I thought when I first saw you standing there
I thought you'd be my friend
I never thought that here in front of you I'd meet my spirit's end!~*~
He paused for a moment. His Yami actually looked hurt! Maybe. 'No,' he reminded himself fiercely, 'he doesn't. He never did and he never will. You know how good he is with faking expressions when he wants to!" He stared his Yami fiercely in the eye. He hadn't noticed it before, but their songs were actually quite similar. It was as if they had been created to fit together, like pieces of a puzzle. Like yin and yang. Like light and dark, Yami and Hikari.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
His Yami cut in this time, with a new verse to his song. From the shocked expression on his face, Ryou could clearly see that he had not expected Ryou to respond in song. Not to mention with a voice like that.
~*~I wish I hadn't left you
But I didn't have a choice
I wish I'd told you that I loved you
With a far too distant voice
There's no one to blame but myself
I took for granted all my wealth
I am the cause of my own heart's ill health~*~
Ryou grew red with anger. His Yami hadn't even realized before what he was saying now. He had truly thought for all this time that this had been his Hikari's fault. He angrily ripped off his shirt, revealing a pale, thin body, covered in bloody scrapes and cuts and bruises. Looking up at his Yami, who was at least a head taller than him, he sang.
~*~I used to look up to you
While you looked down on me
I used to wonder why
Why you couldn't see~*~
Doing a 360-degree twirl, to show his Yami all he had done to him, he added,
~*~You didn't kill me physically
And yet I'm still not whole
You didn't kill my body, but
You sure have killed my soul!~*~
Yami Bakura reeled back in horror. Surely he hadn't done all that? But he knew that he had. He knew that he had done all that and so much more.
~*~So many wishes, so many pleas
So many please returns
Your memory's the only thing pulling me
Through the aches and the pain and the burns
I want you back so much it stings
I wish that somebody would bring
You back to me, perhaps someone with wings~*~
His Yami still didn't understand. His Yami was full of self-pity for the harm he had caused Ryou. But he would understand. Ryou would sing until his voice disappeared, if it would make his Yami understand.
~*~I need to live, I need to get back the part
Of me that was within the shards of my shattered heart
I can't sleep at night, I'm so tired of all this
Undeserved pain!
And I don't know what will happen if it happens again
If I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
But his Yami still would not take the hint. He came back with:
~*~You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
Ryou was not one to give up. He would make his Yami understand what he had done.
~*~I go to bed each night
But I can't rest my head
Afraid that in the morning
Another part of me will wake up dead
~*~I'm so weary, but I know
That this, it must be so
To remind me there is still a human
Part of me that will not let you go
I want to sleep, I want to fly away
From this life, I cannot stand it but it just won't go away
I thought you could ease the loneliness
The misery, the pain
But instead, you bring it back to me again and again!~*~
Yami Bakura actually flinched at that one. He gazed sadly at Ryou, then began to repeat his song, because this had not been planned and he had not written more verses.
~*~So many times I've wondered
Do you still remember me?
So many times I've speculated
What my life would be
If I hadn't said the things I said
If I hadn't lived the life I've lived
If I hadn't treated you the way I did~*~
"It would have been so much better," said Ryou, speaking in time with the music coming from the speakers. "For both of us."
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this
I go to bed each night
But I can't rest my head
Afraid that in the morning
Another part of me will wake up dead~*~
The singer sighed inwardly. Now it was time. Now he had to tell his Yami and his friends the secret he had kept from all of them - except from Yami - for 8 years. It was now or never. He took a deep breath.
~*~I'm so weary, but I know
That this, it must be so
To remind me there is still a human
Part of me that will not let you go
I want to sleep, I want to fly away
From this life, I cannot stand it but it just won't go away
I thought you could ease the loneliness
The misery, the pain
But instead, you bring it back to me again and again!~*~
His Yami cut him off. In a way, he was relieved. He could wait a few more seconds before he had to do this.
~*~So many times I've wanted
To hold you in my arms
To take back all the pain I've caused you
Take back all the harm
But it just isn't going to be
I'm not blind anymore, I see
You'll never come back; you can't even hear my plea~*~
He began again. He had to do this now.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
He opened his eyes to look at his Yami. His torturer. The one he loved. Tears sprang to his eyes as he sang.
~*~You know I used to love you
But what you don't know is this
I still do, but every day
I wake up staring into the abyss
Of love-lost hope
Of love-lost pain
Illusions of the one thing
The one person I can't regain~*~
Yami Bakura reeled in shock. He stared questioningly at his Hikari, who nodded in defeat. It was true. Ryou Bakura loved Yami Bakura. He looked into the smaller boy's eyes, which were shining with tears, and he found tears coursing down his own cheeks.
~*~You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me
I wish I hadn't left you
But I didn't have a choice
I wish I'd told you that I loved you
With a far too distant voice
There's no one to blame but myself
I took for granted all my wealth
I am the cause of my own heart's ill health~*~
Ryou shook his head. He wasn't disagreeing with his Yami, and yet he was. He just didn't want to see him hurt. Because he still loved him. The part about him loving Ryou in return, that was obviously a lie. Ryou didn't even know if he could feel love. But that didn't matter. Ryou still loved him.
~*~I want you back; I can't pretend I don't
But I know I'll never regain the hope
I used to have, that you would one day
Love me in return
I left because the physical was not the only burn
I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
Yami Bakura wouldn't give up either.
~*~So many wishes, so many pleas
So many please returns
Your memory's the only thing pulling me
Through the aches and the pain and the burns
I want you back so much it stings
I wish that somebody would bring
You back to me, perhaps someone with wings
You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
Ryou didn't get it. How could his Yami still not understand? He loved him, but he wasn't letting him come back. He couldn't. It seemed that his Yami didn't understand hints, so he had to put it bluntly.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this
I should have left so long ago
I wonder why I didn't see
This is the only way to stop
What you're doing to me
But now I will be free
You can't stop me now
I'll bet that at this moment
You're wondering how it all came to this
I'm leaving now, 'cause I can't stay
I can't watch as you rip piece after piece of me away
I should have left so long ago, each time you left
More of me to die
But I'm smarter now, I'm so much wiser now
So this is goodbye~*~
Yami Bakura shook his head, still not willing to believe it. Ryou wasn't leaving, not after he'd worked so hard to find him!
~*~You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
Ryou didn't see how his Yami could be so persistent, when he knew he was going to lose!
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
Then, Yami Bakura sent Ryou a mind message, something he hadn't been able to do since he had been banished. ~Make it a duet~ he said. Ryou stared at him in amazement, then realized that the audience was doing the same thing to them. He understood what his Yami was saying. Better not to arouse suspicion.
~*~I'm looking up at you
So many times I've wondered
You're staring back at me
Do you still remember me?
Your eyes are burning holes and yet
So many times I've speculated
I know you cannot see
What my life would be
The emptiness in me
If I hadn't said the things I said
The pain I hold inside
If I hadn't lived the life I've lived
I can't take it anymore
If I hadn't treated you the way I did
I need to run and hide
So many times I've wanted~*~
Ryou was astonished. The songs fit together even better than he thought they had! They had been written for each other!
~*~I need to cry, I need to run away
To hold you in my arms
This isn't any fun, anymore, anyway
To take back all the pain I've caused you
I thought when I first saw you standing there
Take back all the harm
I thought you'd be my friend
But it just isn't going to be
I never thought that here in front of you I'd meet my spirit's end!
I'm not blind anymore, I see~*~
The words even fit together. It was like a conversation; which, he supposed, it was. A conversation between two halves of the same soul.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
You'll never come back; you can't even hear my plea
And I'm not willing to admit
You won't come back because you can't
What I know is true
I've taken you for granted
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
Yami Bakura was right. They were both right. He could never let his Yami into his life again. He had made that mistake once, and paid dearly for it. He couldn't do it again. But, oh, how he wanted to!
~*~I used to look up to you
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
While you looked down on me
But a person can still dream
I used to wonder why
And sometimes it would seem
Why you couldn't see
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me
You didn't kill me physically
I wish I hadn't left you
And yet I'm still not whole
But I didn't have a choice
You didn't kill my body, but
I wish I'd told you that I loved you
You sure have killed my soul!
With a far too distant voice~*~
Ryou looked into his Yami's eyes, light brown like his own, and was astonished to find that their shape had changed. No longer were they harsh and pointed at the edges, giving him that cruel look that could melt fire. Now they were soft and almost afraid, almost like. almost like Ryou imagined his must look right now.
~*~I need to live, I need to get back the part
There's no one to blame but myself
Of me that was within the shards of my shattered heart
I took for granted all my wealth
I can't sleep at night, I'm so tired of all this
I am the cause of my own heart's ill health
Undeserved pain!
So many wishes, so many pleas
And I don't know what will happen if it happens again
So many please returns~*~
He cast about in his Other's mind for some sign of treachery or cruelty, but he could find none. What did that mean?
~*~If I'm not able to cry out
Your memory's the only thing pulling me
And I'm not willing to admit
Through the aches and the pain and the burns
What I know is true
I want you back so much it stings
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this.
I go to bed each night
I wish that somebody would bring
But I can't rest my head
You back to me, perhaps someone with wings
Afraid that in the morning
You won't come back because you can't
Another part of me will wake up dead
I've taken you for granted
I'm so weary, but I know
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
That this, it must be so
But a person can still dream
To remind me there is still a human
And sometimes it would seem
Part of me that will not let you go
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
He searched again in his Yami's mind, looking for a sign that he was lying. He found none. All he found was a deep sense of sorrow, of regret, of pain. He ran farther along the mental hallway, opening doors, flinging open trapdoors, searching desperately for something in here that he could recognise. Nothing. Not even any traps he had to dodge or avoid. That was extremely odd. His Yami never let him near most of his thoughts. Finally, in confusion and despair, he flung himself back to the physical world, tears coursing down his pale, trembling face, to join the ones already soaked into the leather jacket that enveloped his pale, trembling body.
~*~I want to sleep, I want to fly away
That any minute you'll come walking through that door
From this life, I cannot stand it but it just won't go away
Right back to me, no please don't stay away
I thought you could ease the loneliness
So many times I've wondered
The misery, the pain
So many times I've speculated
But instead, you bring it back to me again and again!
If I hadn't lived the life I've lived~*~
Ryou had now completely forgotten the crowd, and his friends. His whole being was now concentrated on the song, and what it meant.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
If I hadn't treated you the way I did
And I'm not willing to admit
So many times I've wanted
What I know is true
To hold you in my arms
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this
You know I used to love you
To take back all the pain I've caused you
But what you don't know is this
Take back all the harm
I still do, but every day
But it just isn't going to be
I wake up staring into the abyss
I'm not blind anymore, I see~*~
Suddenly Ryou's knees buckled, as a horrible feeling washed over him. It was not a feeling of pain, fear, or anything like that. It was a feeling of such acute despair, and anguish, that it threatened to overtake his lungs completely, and choke them off. And it was coming from his Yami. He gasped. He had not encountered anything like this in his Yami's soul chambers. This was almost too terrible to endure.
~*~Of love-lost hope
Of love-lost hope
Of love-lost pain
Of love-lost pain
Illusions of the one thing
Showing me the one thing
The one person I can't regain
You are the one I can't regain~*~
Yami Bakura leapt instantly to his Hikari's side. 'Ra-damnit!' he thought angrily. 'Of all times to lose control of my emotions, it had to be now!' However, his panic was assuaged when Ryou got up again, considerably more shaky than he had been.
~*~I want you back, I can't pretend I don't
You'll never come back; you can't even hear my plea
But I know I'll never regain the hope
You can't even hear my plea
I used to have, that you would one day
You won't come back because you can't
Love me in return
I've taken you for granted
I left because the physical was not the only burn
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see~*~
Ryou had been avoiding looking into his Yami's eyes for most of the duet, but now he gazed into them, willing him to understand what he was saying.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
But a person can still dream
And I'm not willing to admit
And sometimes it would seem
What I know is true
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
There was a brief period in which there was only music, and during this time Ryou wondered why there was so much extra music, when his Yami hadn't meant for the song to be this long. He realized that someone had pressed the repeat button on the CD player. Then the singing part began again.
~*~I should have left so long ago
I wish I hadn't left you
I wonder why I didn't see
But I didn't have a choice
This is the only way to stop
I wish I'd told you that I loved you
What you're doing to me
With a far too distant voice~*~
"I wish I hadn't left you, but I didn't have a choice," said Bakura, during another interlude. Ryou believed him now. He believed what his Yami was saying, but he still had to tell the truth as well. He couldn't pretend that he forgave his Yami, when he really couldn't.
~*~But now I will be free
There's no one to blame but myself
You can't stop me now
I took for granted all my wealth
I'll bet that at this moment
I am the cause of my own heart's ill health
You're wondering how it all came to this
For this goodbye, I can't blame anyone but myself~*~
Yami Bakura was adding his own parts where it fitted, rather than just what was already written in the music. Ryou hadn't realized this, but singing was not his Yami's only talent. He was also really good at making up songs. And improvising.
~*~I'm leaving now, 'cause I can't stay
So many wishes, so many pleas
I can't watch as you rip piece after piece of me away
So many please returns
I should have left so long ago, each time you left
Your memory's the only thing pulling me
More of me to die
Through the aches and the pain and the burns
But I'm smarter now, I'm so much wiser now
I want you back so much it stings
So this is goodbye
I wish that somebody would bring you back to me~*~
This was goodbye. Ryou knew it had to be, but part of him wished it didn't. Part of him prayed to be released from the hell of living with his Yami, but part of him prayed that he would never have to descend from the heaven.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
Perhaps someone with wings
And I'm not willing to admit
You won't come back because you can't
What I know is true
I've taken you for granted
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
Someone with wings. Ryou thought about this statement. His Yami was probably talking about an angel. Then he remembered something Yugi's Yami often said. He often called Yugi a mitsukai, an angel. Could it be that he was the one his Yami was referring to?
~*~I'm not able to cry out
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
And I'm not willing to admit
But a person can still dream
What I know is true
And sometimes it would seem
I just can't continue like this
That any minute you'll come walking
No I
Through that door
I can't go on like this
Right back to me~*~
Then, it finally hit Ryou, like a ton of bricks. He finally understood what his Yami was trying to say to him. His Yami loved him too!
~*~A person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
He stared at his Yami, as if merely staring at him would unravel the secrets of his mind. But he knew that it would take far more than staring at him to do that. It would take living with him, unravelling each secret day by day. And he so wanted to know each and every one. Maybe.
~*~Well, maybe I can try
Maybe just one more try
Maybe I can try to go on
Just a little longer like this~*~
"Aishiteru, Yami."
"Aishiteru datte, Hikari. Aibou. Waga mitsukai."
Aishiteru- I love you
Aishiteru datte- I love you too Hikari- light
Yami- dark
Aibou- partner Waga mitsukai- my angel
Readers: Phew!!
Authoress: I HEARD THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sends all readers to the Shadow Realm* There! You can read from there!!! Oh, and don't forget to review!!!!!!!!
Chapter 2: A Pair of Rebuilt Hearts
Ryou, as he had promised himself, Yugi and Yami, was not having fun. The three had met up with Malik, Yami Malik, Joey, Tristan, Téa, and Mai at the concert. It was still early, so they all went out for dinner as they had planned. Ryou had not enjoyed the greasy hamburgers.
"Yugi-" he started to whine, but said Yugi cut him off. He was dragging him by the arm, and Ryou had to stoop to accommodate the- MUCH- shorter teen.
"No," came the answer. "You are coming, Ryou, and that's all there is to it. Besides, it's better than sitting at home all night, stewing in your own guilt." Ryou had to fight back the urge to say that he wasn't so sure about that, and that it wasn't guilt he was stewing in anyway. He sighed.
They all sat down in the seats they had bought, and waited for the show to start. When it did, even Yugi, ever the optimist, was disappointed. It was extremely boring. Wail after wail, siren after siren, scream after scream accosted their ears. All but Ryou's. He had brought earplugs. All of a sudden, as the last act left the stage amidst a hale of rotten vegetables, the manager of the show came on. Everyone perked up. Maybe the last act had been cancelled and they could all go home.
"May I have your attention please," said the manager. "We have had a slight change in the last act. In your programs it says that the next act will be Zeno Celase. The performer has decided that he would like you all to know him by his real name, not just by his stage name. So please welcome Yami Bakura!!!!"
The nine teenagers sat stock still in their seats, oblivious to the polite, if reluctant, clapping all around them. Ryou could barely breathe. After a few seconds, he finally regained the presence of mind to look up onto the stage. There was his Yami, dressed from head to foot in the exact same leather outfit he himself was wearing. Ryou was still too shocked to react. Then Yami Bakura began to sing. He had a beautiful voice, and was born to sing. Not like Ryou.
~*~So many times I've wondered
Do you still remember me?
So many times I've speculated
What my life would be
If I hadn't said the things I said
If I hadn't lived the life I've lived
If I hadn't treated you the way I did~*~
Ryou sat, stunned. Where had those words come from? Surely he'd never heard them before, he would remember them if he had. Then, with a shock, he realized that his Yami had left the stage with the microphone, and was coming towards him. For a moment they were looking straight at each other, then Ryou had to avert his gaze. He could never stare long into those eyes. His Yami continued to sing. To him.
~*~So many times I've wanted
To hold you in my arms
To take back all the pain I've caused you
Take back all the harm
But it just isn't going to be
I'm not blind anymore, I see
You'll never come back; you can't even hear my plea~*~
The white-haired boy's mind was in a whirl. 'Does he truly care?' he thought incredulously. 'Does he even recognise after all this time that he hurt me?' Then an angry, hurt expression crossed his face.
'No,' he decided, 'he doesn't. How can he? Well, now's my chance to show him.' He stood angrily up, and his Yami grabbed his arm, thinking that he was leaving. But Ryou shook him off, and to everyone's astonishment, he headed towards the stage. He grabbed a mike. Now was the time to reveal to all his friends- and to his enemy- his two most closely guarded secrets. The first was that he could sing as well as his Yami could. The second was far more important, and he had been waiting to say it for 8 years.
~*~I'm looking up at you
You're staring back at me
Your eyes are burning holes and yet
I know you cannot see~*~
He stared out into the crowd, who were thinking that they were finally going to watch a good performance, and into the white, shocked faces of his friends, who knew that this had in no way been planned.
~*~The emptiness in me
The pain I hold inside
I can't take it anymore
I need to run and hide~*~
He walked down the stage to where his Yami was standing, shell-shocked, but quickly regaining his composure to sing the next part of his song.
~*~You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
Ryou was livid. How could his Yami do this to him? How could his Yami make such a mockery of him? With newfound anger comes newfound strength, and it was with this strength that his voice floated towards the ceiling, the audience, and most of all, to his Yami.
~*~I need to cry, I need to run away
This isn't any fun, anymore, anyway
I thought when I first saw you standing there
I thought you'd be my friend
I never thought that here in front of you I'd meet my spirit's end!~*~
He paused for a moment. His Yami actually looked hurt! Maybe. 'No,' he reminded himself fiercely, 'he doesn't. He never did and he never will. You know how good he is with faking expressions when he wants to!" He stared his Yami fiercely in the eye. He hadn't noticed it before, but their songs were actually quite similar. It was as if they had been created to fit together, like pieces of a puzzle. Like yin and yang. Like light and dark, Yami and Hikari.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
His Yami cut in this time, with a new verse to his song. From the shocked expression on his face, Ryou could clearly see that he had not expected Ryou to respond in song. Not to mention with a voice like that.
~*~I wish I hadn't left you
But I didn't have a choice
I wish I'd told you that I loved you
With a far too distant voice
There's no one to blame but myself
I took for granted all my wealth
I am the cause of my own heart's ill health~*~
Ryou grew red with anger. His Yami hadn't even realized before what he was saying now. He had truly thought for all this time that this had been his Hikari's fault. He angrily ripped off his shirt, revealing a pale, thin body, covered in bloody scrapes and cuts and bruises. Looking up at his Yami, who was at least a head taller than him, he sang.
~*~I used to look up to you
While you looked down on me
I used to wonder why
Why you couldn't see~*~
Doing a 360-degree twirl, to show his Yami all he had done to him, he added,
~*~You didn't kill me physically
And yet I'm still not whole
You didn't kill my body, but
You sure have killed my soul!~*~
Yami Bakura reeled back in horror. Surely he hadn't done all that? But he knew that he had. He knew that he had done all that and so much more.
~*~So many wishes, so many pleas
So many please returns
Your memory's the only thing pulling me
Through the aches and the pain and the burns
I want you back so much it stings
I wish that somebody would bring
You back to me, perhaps someone with wings~*~
His Yami still didn't understand. His Yami was full of self-pity for the harm he had caused Ryou. But he would understand. Ryou would sing until his voice disappeared, if it would make his Yami understand.
~*~I need to live, I need to get back the part
Of me that was within the shards of my shattered heart
I can't sleep at night, I'm so tired of all this
Undeserved pain!
And I don't know what will happen if it happens again
If I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
But his Yami still would not take the hint. He came back with:
~*~You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
Ryou was not one to give up. He would make his Yami understand what he had done.
~*~I go to bed each night
But I can't rest my head
Afraid that in the morning
Another part of me will wake up dead
~*~I'm so weary, but I know
That this, it must be so
To remind me there is still a human
Part of me that will not let you go
I want to sleep, I want to fly away
From this life, I cannot stand it but it just won't go away
I thought you could ease the loneliness
The misery, the pain
But instead, you bring it back to me again and again!~*~
Yami Bakura actually flinched at that one. He gazed sadly at Ryou, then began to repeat his song, because this had not been planned and he had not written more verses.
~*~So many times I've wondered
Do you still remember me?
So many times I've speculated
What my life would be
If I hadn't said the things I said
If I hadn't lived the life I've lived
If I hadn't treated you the way I did~*~
"It would have been so much better," said Ryou, speaking in time with the music coming from the speakers. "For both of us."
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this
I go to bed each night
But I can't rest my head
Afraid that in the morning
Another part of me will wake up dead~*~
The singer sighed inwardly. Now it was time. Now he had to tell his Yami and his friends the secret he had kept from all of them - except from Yami - for 8 years. It was now or never. He took a deep breath.
~*~I'm so weary, but I know
That this, it must be so
To remind me there is still a human
Part of me that will not let you go
I want to sleep, I want to fly away
From this life, I cannot stand it but it just won't go away
I thought you could ease the loneliness
The misery, the pain
But instead, you bring it back to me again and again!~*~
His Yami cut him off. In a way, he was relieved. He could wait a few more seconds before he had to do this.
~*~So many times I've wanted
To hold you in my arms
To take back all the pain I've caused you
Take back all the harm
But it just isn't going to be
I'm not blind anymore, I see
You'll never come back; you can't even hear my plea~*~
He began again. He had to do this now.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
He opened his eyes to look at his Yami. His torturer. The one he loved. Tears sprang to his eyes as he sang.
~*~You know I used to love you
But what you don't know is this
I still do, but every day
I wake up staring into the abyss
Of love-lost hope
Of love-lost pain
Illusions of the one thing
The one person I can't regain~*~
Yami Bakura reeled in shock. He stared questioningly at his Hikari, who nodded in defeat. It was true. Ryou Bakura loved Yami Bakura. He looked into the smaller boy's eyes, which were shining with tears, and he found tears coursing down his own cheeks.
~*~You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me
I wish I hadn't left you
But I didn't have a choice
I wish I'd told you that I loved you
With a far too distant voice
There's no one to blame but myself
I took for granted all my wealth
I am the cause of my own heart's ill health~*~
Ryou shook his head. He wasn't disagreeing with his Yami, and yet he was. He just didn't want to see him hurt. Because he still loved him. The part about him loving Ryou in return, that was obviously a lie. Ryou didn't even know if he could feel love. But that didn't matter. Ryou still loved him.
~*~I want you back; I can't pretend I don't
But I know I'll never regain the hope
I used to have, that you would one day
Love me in return
I left because the physical was not the only burn
I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
Yami Bakura wouldn't give up either.
~*~So many wishes, so many pleas
So many please returns
Your memory's the only thing pulling me
Through the aches and the pain and the burns
I want you back so much it stings
I wish that somebody would bring
You back to me, perhaps someone with wings
You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
Ryou didn't get it. How could his Yami still not understand? He loved him, but he wasn't letting him come back. He couldn't. It seemed that his Yami didn't understand hints, so he had to put it bluntly.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this
I should have left so long ago
I wonder why I didn't see
This is the only way to stop
What you're doing to me
But now I will be free
You can't stop me now
I'll bet that at this moment
You're wondering how it all came to this
I'm leaving now, 'cause I can't stay
I can't watch as you rip piece after piece of me away
I should have left so long ago, each time you left
More of me to die
But I'm smarter now, I'm so much wiser now
So this is goodbye~*~
Yami Bakura shook his head, still not willing to believe it. Ryou wasn't leaving, not after he'd worked so hard to find him!
~*~You won't come back because you can't
I've taken you for granted
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
But a person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
Ryou didn't see how his Yami could be so persistent, when he knew he was going to lose!
~*~I'm not able to cry out
And I'm not willing to admit
What I know is true
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
Then, Yami Bakura sent Ryou a mind message, something he hadn't been able to do since he had been banished. ~Make it a duet~ he said. Ryou stared at him in amazement, then realized that the audience was doing the same thing to them. He understood what his Yami was saying. Better not to arouse suspicion.
~*~I'm looking up at you
So many times I've wondered
You're staring back at me
Do you still remember me?
Your eyes are burning holes and yet
So many times I've speculated
I know you cannot see
What my life would be
The emptiness in me
If I hadn't said the things I said
The pain I hold inside
If I hadn't lived the life I've lived
I can't take it anymore
If I hadn't treated you the way I did
I need to run and hide
So many times I've wanted~*~
Ryou was astonished. The songs fit together even better than he thought they had! They had been written for each other!
~*~I need to cry, I need to run away
To hold you in my arms
This isn't any fun, anymore, anyway
To take back all the pain I've caused you
I thought when I first saw you standing there
Take back all the harm
I thought you'd be my friend
But it just isn't going to be
I never thought that here in front of you I'd meet my spirit's end!
I'm not blind anymore, I see~*~
The words even fit together. It was like a conversation; which, he supposed, it was. A conversation between two halves of the same soul.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
You'll never come back; you can't even hear my plea
And I'm not willing to admit
You won't come back because you can't
What I know is true
I've taken you for granted
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
Yami Bakura was right. They were both right. He could never let his Yami into his life again. He had made that mistake once, and paid dearly for it. He couldn't do it again. But, oh, how he wanted to!
~*~I used to look up to you
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
While you looked down on me
But a person can still dream
I used to wonder why
And sometimes it would seem
Why you couldn't see
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me
You didn't kill me physically
I wish I hadn't left you
And yet I'm still not whole
But I didn't have a choice
You didn't kill my body, but
I wish I'd told you that I loved you
You sure have killed my soul!
With a far too distant voice~*~
Ryou looked into his Yami's eyes, light brown like his own, and was astonished to find that their shape had changed. No longer were they harsh and pointed at the edges, giving him that cruel look that could melt fire. Now they were soft and almost afraid, almost like. almost like Ryou imagined his must look right now.
~*~I need to live, I need to get back the part
There's no one to blame but myself
Of me that was within the shards of my shattered heart
I took for granted all my wealth
I can't sleep at night, I'm so tired of all this
I am the cause of my own heart's ill health
Undeserved pain!
So many wishes, so many pleas
And I don't know what will happen if it happens again
So many please returns~*~
He cast about in his Other's mind for some sign of treachery or cruelty, but he could find none. What did that mean?
~*~If I'm not able to cry out
Your memory's the only thing pulling me
And I'm not willing to admit
Through the aches and the pain and the burns
What I know is true
I want you back so much it stings
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this.
I go to bed each night
I wish that somebody would bring
But I can't rest my head
You back to me, perhaps someone with wings
Afraid that in the morning
You won't come back because you can't
Another part of me will wake up dead
I've taken you for granted
I'm so weary, but I know
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
That this, it must be so
But a person can still dream
To remind me there is still a human
And sometimes it would seem
Part of me that will not let you go
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
He searched again in his Yami's mind, looking for a sign that he was lying. He found none. All he found was a deep sense of sorrow, of regret, of pain. He ran farther along the mental hallway, opening doors, flinging open trapdoors, searching desperately for something in here that he could recognise. Nothing. Not even any traps he had to dodge or avoid. That was extremely odd. His Yami never let him near most of his thoughts. Finally, in confusion and despair, he flung himself back to the physical world, tears coursing down his pale, trembling face, to join the ones already soaked into the leather jacket that enveloped his pale, trembling body.
~*~I want to sleep, I want to fly away
That any minute you'll come walking through that door
From this life, I cannot stand it but it just won't go away
Right back to me, no please don't stay away
I thought you could ease the loneliness
So many times I've wondered
The misery, the pain
So many times I've speculated
But instead, you bring it back to me again and again!
If I hadn't lived the life I've lived~*~
Ryou had now completely forgotten the crowd, and his friends. His whole being was now concentrated on the song, and what it meant.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
If I hadn't treated you the way I did
And I'm not willing to admit
So many times I've wanted
What I know is true
To hold you in my arms
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this
You know I used to love you
To take back all the pain I've caused you
But what you don't know is this
Take back all the harm
I still do, but every day
But it just isn't going to be
I wake up staring into the abyss
I'm not blind anymore, I see~*~
Suddenly Ryou's knees buckled, as a horrible feeling washed over him. It was not a feeling of pain, fear, or anything like that. It was a feeling of such acute despair, and anguish, that it threatened to overtake his lungs completely, and choke them off. And it was coming from his Yami. He gasped. He had not encountered anything like this in his Yami's soul chambers. This was almost too terrible to endure.
~*~Of love-lost hope
Of love-lost hope
Of love-lost pain
Of love-lost pain
Illusions of the one thing
Showing me the one thing
The one person I can't regain
You are the one I can't regain~*~
Yami Bakura leapt instantly to his Hikari's side. 'Ra-damnit!' he thought angrily. 'Of all times to lose control of my emotions, it had to be now!' However, his panic was assuaged when Ryou got up again, considerably more shaky than he had been.
~*~I want you back, I can't pretend I don't
You'll never come back; you can't even hear my plea
But I know I'll never regain the hope
You can't even hear my plea
I used to have, that you would one day
You won't come back because you can't
Love me in return
I've taken you for granted
I left because the physical was not the only burn
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see~*~
Ryou had been avoiding looking into his Yami's eyes for most of the duet, but now he gazed into them, willing him to understand what he was saying.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
But a person can still dream
And I'm not willing to admit
And sometimes it would seem
What I know is true
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
There was a brief period in which there was only music, and during this time Ryou wondered why there was so much extra music, when his Yami hadn't meant for the song to be this long. He realized that someone had pressed the repeat button on the CD player. Then the singing part began again.
~*~I should have left so long ago
I wish I hadn't left you
I wonder why I didn't see
But I didn't have a choice
This is the only way to stop
I wish I'd told you that I loved you
What you're doing to me
With a far too distant voice~*~
"I wish I hadn't left you, but I didn't have a choice," said Bakura, during another interlude. Ryou believed him now. He believed what his Yami was saying, but he still had to tell the truth as well. He couldn't pretend that he forgave his Yami, when he really couldn't.
~*~But now I will be free
There's no one to blame but myself
You can't stop me now
I took for granted all my wealth
I'll bet that at this moment
I am the cause of my own heart's ill health
You're wondering how it all came to this
For this goodbye, I can't blame anyone but myself~*~
Yami Bakura was adding his own parts where it fitted, rather than just what was already written in the music. Ryou hadn't realized this, but singing was not his Yami's only talent. He was also really good at making up songs. And improvising.
~*~I'm leaving now, 'cause I can't stay
So many wishes, so many pleas
I can't watch as you rip piece after piece of me away
So many please returns
I should have left so long ago, each time you left
Your memory's the only thing pulling me
More of me to die
Through the aches and the pain and the burns
But I'm smarter now, I'm so much wiser now
I want you back so much it stings
So this is goodbye
I wish that somebody would bring you back to me~*~
This was goodbye. Ryou knew it had to be, but part of him wished it didn't. Part of him prayed to be released from the hell of living with his Yami, but part of him prayed that he would never have to descend from the heaven.
~*~I'm not able to cry out
Perhaps someone with wings
And I'm not willing to admit
You won't come back because you can't
What I know is true
I've taken you for granted
I just can't continue like this
No I
I can't go on like this~*~
Someone with wings. Ryou thought about this statement. His Yami was probably talking about an angel. Then he remembered something Yugi's Yami often said. He often called Yugi a mitsukai, an angel. Could it be that he was the one his Yami was referring to?
~*~I'm not able to cry out
I know that now, it's so much clearer, I can finally see
And I'm not willing to admit
But a person can still dream
What I know is true
And sometimes it would seem
I just can't continue like this
That any minute you'll come walking
No I
Through that door
I can't go on like this
Right back to me~*~
Then, it finally hit Ryou, like a ton of bricks. He finally understood what his Yami was trying to say to him. His Yami loved him too!
~*~A person can still dream
And sometimes it would seem
That any minute you'll come walking through that door, right back to me~*~
He stared at his Yami, as if merely staring at him would unravel the secrets of his mind. But he knew that it would take far more than staring at him to do that. It would take living with him, unravelling each secret day by day. And he so wanted to know each and every one. Maybe.
~*~Well, maybe I can try
Maybe just one more try
Maybe I can try to go on
Just a little longer like this~*~
"Aishiteru, Yami."
"Aishiteru datte, Hikari. Aibou. Waga mitsukai."
Aishiteru- I love you
Aishiteru datte- I love you too Hikari- light
Yami- dark
Aibou- partner Waga mitsukai- my angel