Whoo! I wanna thank all the people who reviewed! ^___________________^ It makes me wanna write more!! Well, I hope this is good … writer's block is partially here. And the lullabye that Serena sings is from Prince of Egypt … I just changed a few words.
Disclaimer: ::sighs:: Must we go through this everyday? Fine … Sailor Moon in way, shape, or form belongs to me.
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She watched as her daughter showed off all her pretty Barbie dolls and teddy bears. Was this really real? One minute she was trying to kill her brother and the others … the next? She was in a room filled with toys and playing with her daughter. It seemed almost improbable.
" 'Wena? Why you hurt my uncles?"
Serena blinked and smiled sadly wanting so much for the small child to say 'Mommy' instead of 'Wena'. "It's hard to explain, sweetie …"
"They neber hurt anybody. They always nice and love me!"
How does one explain this to a three-year-old girl? "Well, why don't you tell me what you wanted to do when you came in the room and saw me hurting your uncles?"
"I thought that you were a mean lady and that they didn't give you a toy. That's why you mad."
Such simple child logic … what it must feel to hold that innocence. "Well, your uncles hurt me, sweetie … and I thought that hurting them might make me feel better."
"So, if someone hurts me … I hurt them back?"
Her eyes widened as she heard the words come out from the mouth of a babe. Quickly shaking her head, she gripped the girl by the shoulders. "No, I was wrong Serenity. You don't hurt other people just because they hurt you. It's wrong."
Nodding slowly, the small child wriggled away from the woman and picked up a doll. Then, she remembered something the woman had said before. "What's a m … mommy?"
Serena froze, staring at the child, not knowing what to say. Once again anger coursed through her veins as she remembered the years that she had lost with her daughter. What was a mother exactly? It was the person who gave birth to you … someone who carried you under their heart for nine months … nourishing and loving you before you were born. "A mommy? Well … a mommy is someone who is always there for you and loves you no matter what. They … oh, I wish I knew what to tell you."
"Mommy's sound nice. Are you my mommy?"
Tears slipped down her face as she thought of how Serenity should never have had to ask. If only they hadn't taken her away when she was so young … "…Yes, sweetie. I am your mommy."
"So you love me?"
"More than you'll ever know." Serena struggled against the powerful emotions that threatened to send her overboard. Anger at the men for doing all this to her and love for her child whom she's only just met.
"Is daddy and mommy the same thing?"
"In a way, yes."
"People call Mally my daddy n' he always say no. Does that mean he doesn't love me?" The child's eyes were wide with confusion and hurt at the thought of her Mally not loving her.
She wanted to scream no and to tell her that the man never loved her … but she knew that that was wrong. She could see it in all of the men's eyes … they loved the little girl. "No, sweetie. He loves you."
"Do you love Mally?"
Caught off guard, Serena held her breath, watching the child. She once loved the man … but after his betrayal … could she still love him? No, it was impossible. "No, sweetie I don't."
"So, you not his mommy?"
She frowned, receiving a headache. This was so difficult to explain, … "No, I'm not."
The tiny girl blinked and yawned, rubbing at her eyes. "I dun get it." Placing her doll down, she yawned once more and drooped a bit.
"You're tired. How about I tuck you into bed?"
The girl stuck out her bottom lip stubbornly and shook her head. "I'm not tired. I sleep for long time last night." Serena stood up and walked over to the girl and picked up the child, smiling as she held her daughter close to her. The little girl snuggled up against her mother and grinned sleepily. "I dream of pretty woman who gave me toys and laughed a lot. So warm …"
Singing a lullaby she used to sing to Serenity when she was a child, Serena placed the little girl on the bed and smiled as the child cuddled into her blanket. "Hush now my baby, be still. Love, don't cry. Sleep like you're rocked by the moon. Sleep and remember my lullaby and I'll be with you when you dream. Drift on a moonlight that flows through my arms. Drift as I'm singing to you. I see you smiling so peaceful and calm and holding you I'm smiling too. Here in my arms, safe from all harm, holding you I'm smiling too."
The child drifted off into sleep, watched by Serena. The love that she felt for her daughter was overwhelming and she wondered how she had ever managed to live without her. Gently, placing her hand on the child's cheek, she caressed the smooth skin. A tear dripped down on her face, splashing onto the blankets and was soon followed by thousands more. Standing up, she walked out of the door and closed it, sliding down the hard wall. Silent, dry sobs ripped through her body, her body trying to match her physical pain with her mental pain. The injustice of the whole situation created a fury in her heart that she couldn't even begin to understand. The lullaby lied. Serena hadn't kept her daughter safe from all harm.
Michael and the others watched her from the hallway, their hearts breaking at every sob. It was their fault that this had happened to them … and there was no way they could ever repent.
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Darien stood outside the hotel, wondering if he should go in. When he had left the hotel this morning, he had wandered around the neighborhood, but soon returned to it. He waited for Serena, leaning against his car. Something told him that she was going through a great amount of pain, but something also told him that he should stay away. Now the pain that struck through him was not his own, but Serena's. It unbearable and he groaned, taking a deep breath. Going against his own judgment, he walked into the hotel and straight up to the room. Banging on the door, he waited it until it swung open.
Michael stood at the door, watching the man in front of him. "You." Stepping back, he allowed the raven-haired man to enter. Looking down, he frowned as he heard the man gasp at Serena's condition.
"What the hell did you do to her?" Walking over to the girl leaning against the wall, he placed his arms around her and lifted her up. There was no reaction from her and fear gripped his heart. "What the hell happened?"
"We did everything one can do to break a mother's spirit … take her child." Jadeite closed his eyes, slamming his fist into the wall.
"We don't know what happened in there … but it seems like she's given up on everything." Nephlite sighed and blinked back the tears that threatened to stream. Grabbing a fistful of hair, he flung it over his shoulder, ignoring the stinging pain on his scalp.
"It looks like she's in a state of shock." Zachary stepped forward to examine the girl but stopped when the man holding Serena growled and backed away. It was the exact same reaction that Michael had towards Serena whenever the girl was hurt.
"Take her. Tell her that we'll send Serenity to her in the morning. Just leave us the address to wherever you're going to take her." Michael ignored the startled glances that were aimed towards him. They had separated mother and daughter long enough. He was going to help them turn into a family … no matter how much it would hurt him.
"We'll come here. I don't trust you enough to give you her address." Darien sighed and picked up the light girl, frightened by the blank look in her eyes. Tears trailed down her face, staining her shirt but never once did she blink.
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Kunzite groaned and woke up. Looking around, he frowned as he realized that somebody had attacked them. "Damn it!" Walking over towards Zoisite, he shook the small man awake and moved on to do the same thing to the other two. "Wake up you idiot. Beryl's not going to be happy about this." Shaking Jadeite with all his strength, he gave up. Forming a small energy ball in his hand he placed it next to the blonde man and smiled when it exploded creating a ringing noise in the man's ears.
Jumping up, Jadeite looked around, ready to attack. "What?!" Groaning, he rubbed the back of neck where he had a cramp. "What the hell is going on here? Damn it."
"How long have we been out?" The feminine general looked around, frowning at the setting sun. "It looks like we've slept the entire day through."
"Or we could have slept a couple of days through. The Queen is not going to like this. The stars are already trying to warn me. She has been trying to contact us all day." Nephrite frowned and nervously ran his hand through his hair. "We better get going."
"Shit. When I get my hands on that cloaked figure … he's going to wish that he'd never been born." Growling dangerously low, Kunzite gripped his hand into a fist before phasing out. The other three sighed and followed not wanting to face the Queen's temper.
Meanwhile, Beryl was grinning in the shadows. She had finally figured out whom the strange energy signature was similar to. Oh, it was a powerful one and she was going to do anything to get it.
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Serena was somewhere in a shadowed land. "Hello? Is anybody here? Where am I?" Standing up, she frowned as she realized that she was transformed. She started to walk further into the shadows, calling out to anybody.
"You finally came."
Spinning around, Serena gasped as she saw a figure standing in the shadows. "Who are you? Where am I?" There was something vaguely familiar about the shape of the figure.
"We're in your mind." It started to move forward, slowly and steadily. The voice was light and cheerful, but there was also a hint of pain underneath the tone.
"My mind?" Her eyes widened as she realized whom it was that was walking towards her. "Tsukino Usagi!" Ken and Irene's daughter stood in front of her. She was dressed in a school uniform and her hands were clasped behind her back.
"Yep. I waited for you to come you know. For four years I waited."
"What? I … I don't understand what's going on." The girl was a perfect image of the murdered Usagi. Her hair was up in the buns and her eyes were a wide blue.
"Hmm … I supposed that you wouldn't. I'm your other half."
"My what?! You're crazy!"
"You tell me. We are in YOUR mind after all."
"If that's so … then I'm crazy." Falling to her knees,
Serena took a deep breath. What was going on? Had she lost her mind? Had she
begun to hallucinate?
"No, listen to me Serena.
There are some things that I am forbidden to tell you … but there are some
there are vital to you. On the moon when Queen Selenity sent her daughter and
her court to the future Earth … something went wrong. Your soul some how split
into two halves. One half was the naïve of us … clumsy, dim-witted … every
negative thing you could imagine. But she was also a bright soul who would
never experience any pain. That's me. I'm that part of the soul. The other soul
was the darker of the two. Though not near evil … pain from what happened in
the past would follow it to the ends of the earth. You see … together … as one
soul … the pain would not have been as terrible. But because it split … there
was nothing to neutralize the pain. You, Serena, are the other half. That part
of the soul was also the one who held the child of our past lover. When we died
on the moon, we were with child. Serenity is that child … born of a forbidden
love between an earthling and a lunarian." Taking a breath, Usagi waited for
Serena to talk but nothing came. Deciding to continue, she walked over towards
the girl and placed a hand on her shoulder. "We were thirteen when the child
was conceived. That child passed over the lines of death and time to be born
here. You, Serena … and I, Usagi are parts of the same soul."
"You were killed."
"No, it was staged to look like a murder. Although, I was the one with the naïve part of the soul, I was still unhappy at the way people teased me to be so clumsy and unworthy. Queen Selenity came to one night and revealed the past to me. I accepted her proposition to give up this life and join you. I never knew how stubborn you were. You refused to accept me. So, I was pushed to the back of your mind and only when Serenity was born did you allow me to appear more often. But when Michael and others did what they did to you … you locked me away again."
"Wouldn't I notice if there were two different thoughts going through my head?!"
"No, when you allowed me to appear … we became one person. That was when you had control over your power but when you tried to … kill them … that was all you. The pain you felt was too overwhelming and it took everything I had to prevent you from killing them at that point. Imagine my relief when our daughter came in."
"Why would you want to save them?! They did this to us! They took Serenity away from us."
Usagi's eyes darkened as she thought of the news that she was about to reveal. "True … but you allowed them to take Serenity away."
"HOW DARE YOU?! I FOUGHT WITH EVERYTHING!" Jerking to her feet, Serena stormed over towards Usagi, ready to strike her. "I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!"
"If you really didn't want them to take the child away, you would have allowed me to appear and you could have used your powers … but you didn't. You fought against me, imprisoning me as you put up little fight to protect the child. You weren't ready to be a mother. You despised the fact that people thought that you were a hoar when you didn't even know who the father was. You didn't want all the responsibility that came with a child. You love Serenity, I know … but that is sometimes not enough. You must want to have the child to be a good mother and you weren't ready."
"That's enough! I fought with everything! I tried to summon my powers but nothing came! I … I …" Gripping her head, Serena sobbed as she realized that what Usagi had said was true. "I hated being a mother. I was only fourteen! I wasn't ready to be one. But I never wanted to lose my daughter forever. I just wanted a few years to grow older …"
Usagi closed her eyes, fighting against the pain that came from being linked to Serena. "Will you allow me to join you now? To become one soul? I can ease the pain … please allow me to join you. You've already allowed your warrior side, Sailor Moon, to enter … why not me?"
"Because with you … I have so many to risk. You trust and love people easily … what would happen if we were hurt again? It would kill me." Her voice broke as she rocked back and forth.
"No, I will be a part of you then … we're stronger than that."
"I'm not ready."
Lowering her head, Usagi nodded and left, allowing only a whisper to stay behind. "…I understand but I will be there when you are ready, Serena."
"…I'm sorry…" With that Serena fell into a dark abyss pain striking through her body as it crashed into reality and a scream of powerful pain erupted from her, only to get lost in the dark depths of her mind.
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Hmm … interesting. It's quite scary what my mind can come up sometimes. Well, I hope you enjoy it! n__n