Still Unsure

By

Anessa Ramsey

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Buffy, Season 7 through 'Lies My Parents Told Me'; Four years past X-Men (the movie) cause Rogue is 20.

Pairing:  Spike/Rogue

Feedback:  Absolutely!  Good or bad, let me know.  No flames.

Distribution:  Want. Take. Have.  Just drop me a line to let me know where it's going.

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon.  Everything X-men belongs to Marvel.

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What is love? Tis not hereafter;

Present mirth hath present laughter;

What's to come is still unsure:

In delay there lies no plenty;

Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty,

Youth's a stuff, will not endure.

~ From 'Twelfth Night' by William Shakespeare

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         "What's wrong with you?"  Rogue couldn't stop the words from coming out of her mouth.  This wasn't Spike…at least not the one she had been getting to know.  The hair was slicked back, again, and his attitude toward her was cold.  She didn't like who he was becoming.  It seemed like every couple of days he was someone different. 

         "Nothin' wrong with me, luv.  Just bein' who I am."

         She shook her head.  This wasn't who he was.  Not really.  She stood shakily.  She wasn't going to talk to this new person he was.  "I'm leaving."

         He grabbed her arm roughly, more evidence that something had changed him.  Or someone.  "What's your hurry?"

         "I can't keep up with who you are and I'm not going to try.  I'm not going to be here for much longer and I'm not going to waste my time on someone who obviously doesn't care about anything but playing lapdog to a girl who demands he change who he is as it suits her."

         She spun away, yanking her arm from his grip.  Spike watched silently as she stalked toward the door, her hair flying out behind her like living flame.  Damn Buffy and the entire lot of them.  If it hadn't been for that principal then he wouldn't have been so keyed up when he went to the Bronze to meet Rogue.  Now he'd blown it.  His head was pounding and he wanted nothing more than to drown him self in alcohol but his heart was telling him not to let Rogue get out the door.  So he followed her quickly, pushing through the crowd to catch her. 

         She was spun around roughly when Spike's hand latched on to one arm.  He pulled her up against his chest and ran his hands down her back.  She couldn't stop the shivers that danced down her spine.  She was about to pull away when he bent his head and his lips hovered above hers.  'Oh god,' she thought silently.  'He's going to kiss me.'

         "Sorry," he whispered softly before those soft, full, pouty lips grazed hers gently, asking permission. 

         She couldn't stop her body's response.  She arched into him, her gloved hand fisting in his hair, pulling him closer.  He deepened the kiss, taking her mouth in a violent cacophony of lust.  Everything about her tasted incredible.  Kissing her was like touching fire, blazing and hot, and he wanted to be scorched.  It went on forever and ended too soon.  She was left breathing softly against the fabric of his black shirt and his arms were wrapped around her. 

         Gathering her wits, she pulled back and glanced at him.  "Why'd you do that?"

         His gaze lingered on her pink, swollen lips.  She was flushed and her hair swirled wildly around her face.  Her question penetrated the fog of lust clouding his mind and he searched for an answer.  How was he supposed to explain to her something that he didn't understand himself?  Finally he spit out the words, hoping that they were the right ones.  "I don't want you to go."

         "Could have fooled me."

         "I'm sorry.  Had a bad night and I took it out on you, luv, and I shouldn't have.  It wasn't your fault."

         She looked at him skeptically.  She could still escape whatever it was that was happening between them relatively unscathed if she walked out the door.  If she stayed things were going to get extremely complicated and she'd be risking her heart.  She knew her decision though and it wasn't hard to make, not with him staring at her with those fathomless blue eyes.  "Okay."  She nodded toward a table.  "We can sit and talk or we can leave and take a walk."

         "You know it's not exactly safe out there."

         "I know.  You'll be there though." 

         He was amazed at the amount of trust she had in him.  He didn't deserve it and he knew it.  But he couldn't bring himself to ignore it or her.  She was making him feel things he hadn't felt in a while.  Mostly she made him feel wanted and that was something he'd never had.  It was a nice feeling and he wanted to keep it, and her, so they made their way to the door and into the night, the sounds of music fading the further from the club they walked.

         It was a cool night in southern California, a gentle breeze brushed lightly over their skin and rustled the leaves of the trees that seemed to line every street.  Spike kept his senses on alert, making sure that they weren't bothered.  Rogue told him about the school that she had attended, telling him that now she worked there as an assistant to some of the teachers, leaving out the part about what the school is actually a cover for.  She didn't want to drag him too far into her life.  She was going to be leaving as soon as their business was taken care of, but until then she was going to enjoy his company as much as possible. 

         Spike briefly told her about the Slayer and how he'd ended up working on her side.  She didn't ask many questions and as soon as he finished his tale of his time in Sunnyhell, she told him how she discovered she was a mutant and ended up at Xavier's school.  She was talking about some of the pranks the students pull using their powers when he picked up her scent on the breeze.  He tried to remain calm as he looked around for a way to avoid a confrontation with her.  Buffy.  He was about to steer Rogue in the opposite direction instead of turning the corner, but was too late.  Rogue and Buffy collided and he just barely caught Rogue before she hit the ground.  Buffy managed to remain standing.  He helped Rogue gain her balance and then looked into the green eyes of the woman he thought he'd known so well.  She was watching him carefully, and when her gaze shifted to Rogue, those same eyes narrowed slightly and he could see a small frown tilt the corners of her mouth down.  "Hello, Spike.  Having fun?" she asked, her voice frosty.  He sighed softly because he knew, he just knew, the conversation to come wasn't going to be pleasant.  He looked to Willow, Dawn, and the whelp, who were standing there behind the slayer, watching everything avidly, for help.  None came however and he glanced at Rogue.  She was looking at them all curiously then her gaze shifted to him and she smiled.  In that instant he knew, no matter what, that whatever happened she was with him. 

         He watched, slightly amazed, when Rogue turned that smile on Buffy and stuck out her gloved hand.  "Hi, I'm Marie.  And you are?"  His stance on the evening changed in that instant.  It was going to be an interesting night.