Section Twelve: The Cost of Honor
"Thank you again, Lord Momus." Peppy smiled, shaking hands with the Jack of Tears.
"Oh, it was no difficulty." The Jack of Tears grinned. Most of his Army had already retreated home, but Alan was sitting outside the tent, sawing a multitude of dance tunes off his violin, watching and laughing as King's knights danced with lady archers from the Elven army, remaining plague wretches stunned all with the acrobatics, and in the middle of it all, Falco and Katt, not bothered at all by those around them.
"I understand you reached a… bargain with my friends here." General Pepper said, nodding at Peppy. "Care to tell me exactly what it was?"
"Oh, land of course. Your King has little control over this area anyway, so we agreed to fight in exchange for a portion of land we can expand to. Also please tell him we're not always what people say we are… we do benefit any community in the area."
"Oh? Really?"
"Yes. You see General, my Bayou accepts any person not accepted by, say, YOUR society… lepers, those born deformed, or those like our very own Alan." He grinned, hooking a thumb in the direction of the insane violinist. "Which brings me to another point. Baron Mirth would like to accompany you back to your capitol as an ambassador, and Alan… well, he just wants to go, if you will allow it."
"It's the least I can do." Was the gracious reply. "For all of the help you provided…"
"And what of us?" The Elven General inquired.
"You're welcome to send a diplomat with us as well… I understand your army will be accompanying us for a portion of the journey as it is. What do you wish in return for your services?"
"The deed to our land."
"Consider it done."
"McCloud?"
Fara climbed the steep hill to where Fox stood, overlooking the encampment. Once scouts had confirmed that Andross' army was gone, the exhausted King's army had immediately set up camp, after falling back to a point where the Jack of Tear's army could comfortably retreat the rest of the way home. As soon as the Army had recovered, they would return to the capitol.
"Yes?" Fox asked, looking over his shoulder. "Oh. Evening, Milady."
She nodded, joining him, looking down at the camp, listening to the music. Fox's unicorn grazed nearby, various hurts cured with a brief touch of the Jack of Tear's wand.
"You keep unusual company kind sir." She remarked, looking at him. "I doubt any other knight would agree to travel beside those you do."
"I am not a knight, Milady."
"A paladin, then. You travel with a thief, good sir, even if he seems to be a good man in his own right…"
"Falco his extremely talented in what he does, and he has talents the rest of us do not. He adds what is needed to the group."
There was relative silence for a long moment, then she said, "You seem distant, kind sir."
"Merely thoughtful." He sighed softly, stepping over to a fallen tree and sitting, still staring down at the camp.
"Please, share your thoughts." She sat next to him, curious.
"Do you know of my father?"
"Knew of him, but never met him. I heard he was a great knight and crusader… though my father once told me he had fallen from grace and was no longer considered a knight, even in death."
"He was framed for the murder of his commander. The man who framed him is sitting down there right now." He gestured at the camp, voice tone odd.
"One of the captured Fists of Hextor?"
"Yes, the older of the two. He was once a knight in your father's Army, a crusader as my father had been… I am not sure what happened, and neither is my comrade Hare, but he grew angry with my father, and sought to have him removed. He succeeded, and fled soon thereafter, before anyone could prove my father was wrongly accused."
"Thus why they are being held."
"Yes. I wish to clear my father's name. He does not deserve the dishonor his name receives."
"And neither do you."
"What do you mean?" He glanced at her.
"I overheard one of your friends talking to one of my father's knights, about why they ended up here, helping. He said that my father dishonored you, sir McCloud… dishonored your family's name."
Fox ducked his head down and said nothing.
"I would like to apologize for him."
Fox stood. "I'm sorry, Milady, but only the clearing and recognition of my father will be apology enough."
She also stood. "You are aware that you could be knighted for your needs, are you not? I heard General Pepper talking to his aides about it… you have done more then your share."
"As did you." He walked over to his unicorn, rubbing his hands over the mare's neck.
"No. I did as I felt I should. I knew I could help you. It was you that struck the final blow."
He said nothing.
"Look at me, sir McCloud."
He turned and did, cape blowing up around him as the wind picked up, a tendril of hair blowing across one eye. He looked tired, and a very faint, almost unperceivable aura still surrounded him. His armor was battered, and she knew that on one of his shoulders and part of his back, it was stained with his blood. She folded his arms and looked at him, long hair tossing in the wind, not bothering to mask a shiver at the cold ocean wind—she no longer wore a cloak. Fox reached up and undid the clasp of his cape, swirling it off with an easy move of his wrists, and wrapping it over her shoulders, hooking it at her throat.
"I thank you."
"No. My pleasure." He looked back over the encampment for a moment, then back at her.
"You did not expect that you would ever fight, did you?"
"No, Milady." He sighed. "I am not a fighter, or even a paladin, as I have been traveling under. I am a woodsman."
"Who bears the blessing of Heironeous." She had to smile at the mental image, a hunter traveling through the woods, putting off an intense white aura because of his connection to his god. Then again, why not?
"Is that what you believe?"
"Yes. Why fight your destiny, sir McCloud?"
"Because it is not my destiny."
"And who are you to say?"
He crossed his arms, looking down at her. She looked right back, staring boldly into his blue eyes. "And who are you to deny what I think?"
"I have more grounds then you, as a visionary."
"Perhaps." He turned away again, shaking off. He shouldn't be allowing this. He shouldn't even be talking to her… he was unworthy.
"Sir. Look at me."
"I'm not supposed to look you in the eye, Milady. I am a commoner."
"You found nothing wrong with it at your cabin."
He said nothing.
"Well, have it your way. As royalty to commoner, I command you to look at me."
He sighed and turned back, feeling himself grow weary. "There. Are you satisfied now?"
"Partly."
"Why do you insist on me looking at you?"
Silence for several long moments. Fara looked up at him, and saw a knight, not a commoner. Pepper was going to have him knighted for his deeds, and she knew it was right. This man, this young man… had done so much, much more then what any commoner would have done. He had traveled across the country; brought allies to help… had rescued her… Feeling her heart speed up, she suddenly knew exactly why he was turning away, knew exactly why he acted like he should leave her presence… was he scared of what was happening? Him, scared?
"So. You see." He said simply and bluntly.
"Pardon? What do you mean?"
"You know what, Milady." He gathered the reins to his steed, and proceeded down the hill.
"Then why won't you tell me?" She called after him.
He stopped, looking at her over his shoulder. "Because of my honor, Milady. Because of my honor." With that, he proceeded back to the camp, saying nothing more.
"The Elven army is going to accompany us back until they can split off and return to their territories." Said Peppy, watching Fox crouch by the cooking fire. He wasn't sure how Fox had done it, but he had suddenly appeared by their fire with good venison, as well as fresh fruit and water. "But a few representatives will be accompanying us to the capitol. It is much the same with the Jack of Tear's army, except that the Baron Mirth is staying with us."
"And me!" Alan suddenly landed right next to him, perching on his toes on the log easily, still holding his violin.
"Yes, and you." Peppy added, rubbing his chest. "If you continue to startle me like that young man you shall make my heart stop one of these days…"
"Startle you? Oh, I understand… Perhaps those at the Bayou had simply grown used to me…" He reached out and filched a piece of meat cooking over the fire, not bothered by the heat.
"Be an act of a God if they did." Falco mumbled, then yelped as he received more bruised ribs from Katt's elbow.
"You want to be Guild leader at the capitol, you better learn to have some diplomacy!" She snapped at him. "So don't whimper!"
"Heh. I'm doomed." Falco said in a half-joking voice, making a throat-slashing gesture. "I can't read anyways, so how do you expect me to do contracts."
"Simple. I will."
He looked at her. "I was under the impression that you were returning to from whence you came…"
"Why should I do that?" She wanted to know.
Fox rubbed his eyes, sitting by the fire.
"What happened to your cape?" Slippy asked, not even looking up from one of the new books he had gotten from the Jack of Tears. With a mumble and a gesture, happy cries went up form the king's Army as an entire banquet appeared in front of them.
"Observant. Milady Phoenix talked to me for a moment, and was cold."
"Ah. Chivalrous."
Fox, now eating, said nothing.
The entire group looked at him.
"I take it something wrong was said?" Bill asked.
"What do you mean?" Fox, once merely quiet, was now staring to sound all-out irritated.
"Well, perhaps we thought wrong, but we were under the impression…"
He brought his head up and looked at everyone. "That a simple woodsman and a princess, who just happens to be the right age to be arranged for a marriage, could be together. If you think that you are not the only one present at this fire without their sanity, beg pardon Alan."
"Ah sanity is a crippling attribute, anyways." The lizard-bird said grandly, tossing a hand so energetically he almost slapped Peppy. "Sorry!"
"No harm done." Peppy grumbled, then looked at Fox. "And I suppose you also believe that you should not be knighted as the General plans to request…"
"No I shouldn't be. I have done nothing to deserve it."
"Uh, now who's the one missing their sanity?" Falco said, gawking.
Fox stood. "I am very tired, thus I am retiring early. Please, do not bother me." He retreated to his tent, his group moving out of his way as he did.
"Methinks we angered him." Slippy said, still not looking up.
"So what if we did?" Falco asked.
"We still have over a week's travel time alongside him. I personally would rather travel with a paladin of pleasant disposition."
"He won't say anything." Said Peppy. "Besides, that week is a good thing. There are still some things he's got to learn… and perhaps we have time to teach him."
"Why all this trouble to take us back?" Wolf asked, hands on the back of his head, scowling around at the King's army. "Would it not be easier to just kill us?"
"Firstly, at the request of someone we are in debt to. Secondly, because you have crimes you must answer to." Pepper replied.
"What crimes?"
"Yourself, the kidnapping of the princess. Your comrade, the framing and subsequent death of a Knight."
"You cannot prove either."
"I don't think I'll need to. And I don't suggest you try to escape today." He gestured for them to mount up, both horses being led and escorted by some of his Knights. "Elves are good shots with arrows, and unicorns run very swiftly."
"We are not muttonheads, General." Pigma said very stiffly.
"Do NOT get smart with me, Dengar. McCloud was my friend as well as one of my Knights. You give me one good reason and I will throw you to the Jack of Tear's plague wretches, do you understand?"
Pigma took one look at the few remaining walking diseases, and winced.
"I can see you do." Pepper grinned and went to the front of the convoy, swinging astride his mount. "Let's get this army moving." He told one of his aides, who shouted the command. "What of our friends?"
"Rode ahead sir… there's one now." He added as Falco appeared, galloping up and coming to a halt, backing his horse to pace the General.
"I had my friends clear us a better path through the mountains sir. We should be able to get past them with no problem."
"I thank you, Sir Thief."
"My pleasure sir." Falco wheeled his steed and took off to catch up with his group, which was waiting for the rest of the army at the mountains.
When they reached the stronghold, it was empty, and a thorough search revealed no more disguised demons. There was room here for the entire convoy to camp, and the stronghold went from being cold, dark, and empty to being full of life and lit up by a multitude of fires and torches.
Fox, however, still stayed away from the main group, returning to where he had once sat before, back turned to the convoy, still deeply thoughtful. His unicorn climbed the stairs with no difficulty, munching hay on one of the walls below him.
"Sir Hare?"
Peppy turned, and saw Fara standing there, still wearing Fox's cape. "Yes milady?"
"I… have a rather unusual question…"
"By all means ask." Hare wove a hand.
"Why is he always alone?" She looked in the direction of Fox.
This stopped Peppy. He rubbed his chin, then sighed and shook his head. "I'm not completely sure Milady. We too have noticed it, but we pay it little thought… we have merely assumed that he likes his privacy. Before he decided to fight, he lived alone…"
"I know." She continued to look at where Fox sat. "Sir, I… I am at a dilemma. He won't talk to me."
"No?"
"No. He hasn't all day. When I move to ride beside him, he moves so he does not. You have seen this. Why?"
He paused, then said slowly, "I have my suspicions, but if anyone tells you it should be him."
"But if he won't talk to me…"
"I'll try and help you Milady, but I'm not going to bother him right now. As I have said, I respect his privacy. But I will speak to someone who might be able to reach him."
"Thank you, sir Hare."
"I do what I can." He replied.
"You've become something of a minor legend."
"Why do you say that General?" Fox didn't even bother looking at his visitor.
"My men are down there, already spinning tales about you. You defeated an evil sorcerer, McCloud. That in itself is the stuff of legend."
"Milady Phoenix assisted me, and I could not have done it without her help."
"Don't worry, she is also in these new tales." Pepper sat down next to him. There was no fire near here except for a single torch, and this high in the mountains, it was cold, with a bitter wind. But Fox, even without his cape, seemed little effected by the wind or by the chill. "Your thoughts stray to the war and to your father, do they not?"
"They stray to many things." Fox replied.
"Your father died wrongly, even I will admit to that. And I am sorry I wasn't there to stop it."
"You could not have stopped it even if you were there, General. The King gave his orders. You would have had to follow them, just like everyone else, or face the consequences."
Pepper was silent, then shook his head. "I swear, you are your father incarnate."
"He raised me, he taught me. He trained me. We follow the same codes. I suppose in many ways I followed him as an ideal." His voice was distant.
"That is what I wanted to discuss with you."
"Oh?"
"Concerning the code you follow… I too am familiar with it. You are missing two very important points Fox."
"I wasn't aware of this." Fox looked at him.
Pepper stood and paced back and forth. "So recite them. Chûgi and Reigi."
Fox stared at him. "I follow those points of the code, sir!"
"Recite them, McCloud."
He sighed, bowing his head. "Chûgi. Fidelity. Fidelity towards the master or lord, and fatherland. Respect towards parents, brothers and sisters. Assiduousness, steadiness. I follow this part of the code, sir."
"Reigi."
"Reigi. Politeness. Respect and love. Modesty and correct etiquette. Formality. Sir, I completed training, I…"
"Ah." He held up a hand. "Peppy talked to me not long ago. You are breaking both chûgi and reigi."
"Sir, I…" Fox stood, now completely bewildered.
"You refuse to speak to Milady Phoenix. She is royalty. Thus, you have broken chûgi. You are lying to yourself, and though you follow every other point of the code, you have broken reigi."
Fox was stunned stupid. "Does everyone in the entire camp know…"
"No. In fact I just found out. I'm saying nothing about the given circumstances. All I know is you have broken the codes you follow. And what, sir McCloud, do you intend to do about it?"
Fox stared at him, and ran a hand down his face. "Oh, for the love of Heironeous…"
"Not quite." Pepper left.
Fox blinked once, then sat back down, rubbing his eyes. "My god. Either I break my codes, or I go risk dishonoring myself. So what am I supposed to do?" He moaned to himself, then stood and left the tower, his unicorn following him.
The armies moved out in the morning, the air cool and crisp. Assorted dragons saw them off, the copper that had originally talked to Falco staying with them, going as an ambassador from his army. He and Falco seemed to have an ability to speak over distances, even if Falco did not raise his voice, and the armies got used to the dragon's booming voice above them and Falco's even replies, which the dragon still seemed to hear.
Fara sighed, urging her steed forward. She had kept the white charger, refusing to accept a smaller, more delicate Arabian, even if the mare had seemed more suitable to be ridden by a princess. Of course, she had never really cared for stereotypes… Hearing another horse fall even with hers, she turned, and was a little surprised—Fox was now pacing her.
"May I help you, sir McCloud?" She finally asked.
"I believe I must apologize to you, Milady." He replied after a long moment. "I was not meaning to avoid you."
"Yes, you were." She narrowed her eyes at him.
He paused. "I suppose it depends on how you perceive it. I had my reasons, Milady. And as said, I apologize."
"Accepted. But what were those reasons?"
"I wish not to discuss them." He sighed, and shook his head.
"All right."
They rode silently side-by-side for the remainder of the day, and no one asked why. Both were glad, content for the companionship they had.
The armies passed through the ghost town, deciding against camping there even if they had spent most of the day descending from the mountains—what little Fox's party said about the village was enough to warn them away. By evening, some of the Elven army had begun to disappear into the forests they were passing.
Camp was built in a field, but it was so close to a section of the forest the Elven army retreated there, apparently searching for more comfortable surroundings. Fox followed, leading his unicorn, leaving most of his gear and his steed's tack with his friends.
Fara glanced around, then followed him on foot, still wearing his cape. The minute she stepped into the forest, she knew she was being watched. "Sir McCloud?"
"Following me again?"
She tried to orient on his voice, and failed. "Well, that is… well, yes. Where are you?"
"Removing the greater portion of my armor and hoping you will try not to find me as I do so."
She went red.
Soft laughter echoed to her. "If you are under the impression that I… enjoy wearing armor, then that is where you are wrong. It is hot, heavy, dreadful stuff… and as I will not be fighting anymore, I decided it was time to remove it."
"Makes sense I suppose. Would you like your cape back?"
"In a moment, Milady."
She leaned back on a tree, and after a long moment, Fox's unicorn appeared and made its way over. "How is it sir that your steed is a unicorn?" She smiled, rubbing a hand over the unicorn's neck gently.
"Pure accident." Was the grumbled reply. "I wasn't exactly expecting it either, however…" He suddenly dropped down from a tree, directly in her line of sight, carrying a pack over his shoulder that looked to be full of his armor. He was back in his woodsman's outfit, though he still had his swords. "She had proved more useful then a knight's charger in more ways then one."
"I'm sure." She blinked as he walked up, setting the pack down. Reaching up, she unclasped his cape, passing it to him. "I thank you for the use of this."
"My pleasure, Milady." He easily put it back on. "Is this the only reason you were following me?"
"No, sir McCloud. I wish to speak to you, as you did not want to discuss matters earlier."
"I still do not, but if you insist, I have little choice. Come, let us walk." He easily turned, holding a hand out to her.
She hesitated, then took it. "Are you sure we will not get lost if we stray to far from camp?"
"I never get lost in the woods, Milady. I have lived in them all my life." He picked the pack back up and held it out to his unicorn. "Would you, please?"
His unicorn took the strap in her mouth and left the forest, taking his armor back to camp.
"Where did the elves go?" She asked as they walked. "I see no evidence of a campsite, or even of passage."
"Most of them have begun returning home, I believe, but a few dozen will be returning to camp in the morning." He brushed a few branches aside and held them so she could pass unbothered.
She was quiet, then suddenly asked, "What did the General say to you last night?"
"He told me I was breaking the code I follow, and in some very obscure ways, he was correct. That is what I am trying to correct right now." They broke through some underbrush, standing on the sandy bank of a stream. He released her hand and sat down on a boulder, staring into the water. "And I have corrected it, partly. I don't dare correct the rest."
"So you'd rather live in violation of your code then correct it?" That bewildered her.
"Yes."
"Isn't that, well, a bit dishonorable?"
"It would be even more dishonorable for me to correct it."
Silence between them for a long moment. Fox's unicorn came back, lowering its head to take a drink from the stream.
"Does this have something to do with clearing your father's name? A revenge aspect, perhaps?" She finally asked, sitting down beside him.
"No. Not in the least. That will be done as soon as we arrive at your father's castle and I speak to him for a moment. I have no wish for revenge. Not anymore. It's done."
"Then what?" She looked at him curiously.
He turned his face away. "I can't say, Milady."
"Why not?" She stood and threw her arms up. "Why do you keep treating me like you can't trust me?"
"I trust you with my life. But you are royalty."
"Then forget I am. I'm just another, another hunter. I'm like you are. Tell me, as an equal, what is bothering you. I can try to help you, McCloud. I want to. You rescued me, you saved my life…"
"I thank you, Milady." He also stood, still not looking at her. "But I do not dare tell you."
"Why?"
"Because this last point of the code that I have broken concerns you."
She stared up at him. He finally met her gaze, eyes serious, but gentle. "Then I of all people should be told."
"Perhaps." He turned and walked over to his unicorn, rubbing his hands over where its wounds had been, then rubbing a hand along its neck. "I'm not brave, Milady. I cannot bring myself to tell you."
She stared at him. "You are brave, McCloud. You've fought dragons, black knights, an evil sorcerer."
"Out of duty. I was driven to. This is a different matter."
"Blast it!" She rubbed her eyes, walking over to where he stood. He didn't look at her. "Just tell me McCloud."
He turned his back to her. "I don't want to fall in love with you, and I'm afraid that I will."
She was stunned silent.
"The men in my family line love once, and forever. To fall for you would be to end my family line."
"McCloud, I…"
"Fox. You might as well call me by my first name." He sighed and bowed his head. "And this is the cost of my code and honor. I was breaking my code by lying to myself about how I was starting to feel. You are royalty, Milady. I am a commoner. Even if I am Knighted, I am still of common blood and unworthy of courting you. Therefore, I strove to avoid you. Unfortunately in the process I only further violated my code. You have no idea how hard it was to stay and wait to leave with the convoy. I nearly left last night, alone with my pain and unease. However, that would have been cowardly. I am not a coward." He turned back to face her. "This has brought me into a rather unpleasant position, for now, I am fighting what could be my fate." He kept his head bowed, refusing to look at her. "For it would be dishonorable to promise you anything, any sort of future, any sort of emotion, when I cannot court you. I cannot even legally love you."
She stared at him, at this tired, young soldier, and knew everything he said was true. She knew that her parents had been scouring the many courts before the war, been talking to their allies, searching for an ideal prince to arrange her with. When she had been returning home and had stayed at Fox's cabin, she had been returning from meeting with one such suitor, and had been deeply, chronically depressed, because none of the princes her parents hoped to arrange her with even loved her. But now…
She stepped up to him and lifted his chin so she could see his eyes. He was distressed and unsure, looking at her with a kind of soul-searching desperation.
"Don't." He said weakly.
"I just wanted to ask why you're always alone."
He startled. "What do you mean?"
"You're always away from the group. Alone. Even away from your friends. Why, Fox?"
He looked down at her. "Because I am used to being alone. I have been for years. My father was on the crusades, even if he was briefly home. I am used to taking care of myself, and sometimes… sometimes I just wish to be alone again. I am used to it."
"That isn't necessarily a benefit."
"No. I am used to being alone. But I am lonely."
"Then why stay alone?"
A great sorrow grew in his eyes. "Because I know nothing else, Milady. That is why I am such a good swordfighter, why I can use magic, why I am often so focused… in the past few years I have had precious little to do to entertain myself, so I practiced what my father taught me."
"Just because you know nothing else is no reason to learn nothing else."
He stared down at her, the sorrow growing. "Don't make me love you Fara. Please." He turned away from her.
"I'm not." She stepped to face him again.
He stepped away. "Please."
They stared at each other, and he took another step back. "I'll take you back to camp."
"Fox…"
"Now." He turned and started to walk away, his unicorn nudging her after him.
"Fighting fate again?" She asked, falling in step with him.
"Why do you persist in this?" His voice took on an exasperated, desperate note.
She cut in front of him. "Do you think you are the only one that's lonely?!"
They stared at each other again, and he closed his eyes, intense emotion passing over his face.
"You aren't. Before I met you, I was depressed, I wasn't sure if I even wanted to live. I felt a, a connection to you immediately. I know you felt it too. Why won't you admit to it?"
He broke down in front of her, a single tear running down his cheek. "Because a commoner cannot court a princess, Fara!"
She was silent, then said, "Then maybe it's time for the laws to change."
"You know they won't."
"This is what I know." She stepped forward slowly, lifting her hands to cup his face, then kissed him very slowly.
He gasped, shocked, then seemed to melt, wrapping his arms around her slowly. A very, very long moment later, he ended it, then asked in a none-to-composed voice, "Why did you do that?"
"Because it needed to be done."
He closed his eyes. "Heironeous help me, why did I have to fall in love with you?"
She startled, or as best she could while she was still held to his chest. "You…"
"Yes. I do." He let her go and backed away. "And I am going to do and say nothing more concerning this. I'm going to take you back to camp. We have several days travel still ahead of us. You should get some rest."
She stared at him, and wordlessly followed him back toward camp. "I would much rather you speak of how you felt then you stay silent."
"I can't. Again, a commoner cannot court a princess. And it would be dishonorable of me to speak of how I feel when nothing can come from it." He paused. "I am very sorry."
"No reason for you to apologize, Fox. I love you."
He didn't reply, saying nothing else as they exited the woods and joined the campsite. He only nodded goodbye, leaving to join his friends.
'You are escorting me home, are you not?' She finally called to him, easily touching his mind.
'Yes.' He responded.
'Will we talk later? We must resolve this…'
'Perhaps. God ye good eve, Milady.'
'Goodnight, Sir McCloud.'