Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the story of Gilmore Girls. They belong to the WB and to the genius that is Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Author's Note: Several reviewers stated that they were confused by the timeline of this story, so I feel that an explanation is in order. I am jumping around between the past and the present, and my chapters have been arranged in the following way: the first part (my Prologue) took place in the present, as Rory is looking in the mirror. The second part (Chapter 1) takes place in the past. The third part takes place in the present and the fourth is, again, in the past. Starting now, I think that the times will vary throughout the chapters, which sounds confusing, but I'm hoping that it will become slightly clearer that way. The chapter begins with the present and quickly makes its way back into the past.
I also apologize for taking so long to update. I will try to make the next update a lot sooner. And now, without further ado, on with the story.
Reflections: Chapter 4
Rory looked intently at her reflection in the mirror. She remembered changing her mind a million times that day, and eventually deciding that she might as well do the inevitable. She left her last class quickly, and went to her locker to grab her books. When she went out to the courtyard, he was waiting for her. She didn't know how he had managed it-he had left class after her and she knew he'd gone to his locker because he had his jacket and was no longer holding his history book-but she didn't ask. She was unsure of what to say to him now, in broad daylight. She didn't know what she wanted to say, didn't know what she wanted to happen.
He smiled at her, and she felt herself smiling back. "Let's go do something."
She stared at him, thinking about it. She knew she shouldn't. She knew that she should end it right there, should tell him that she had a boyfriend, should say no and go home, to Stars Hollow. But logic didn't help.
"Okay," she answered.
He grinned at her, and turned towards his car. "Let's go."
_
They'd driven around for a while, then stopped at a small coffee house. They didn't talk about Dean-didn't talk about Jamie-but made small talk, and found that they had many things in common. He read a lot, she'd found out, and they had similar tastes in books. They argued about everything from books to music to TV shows to coffee flavors, and it wasn't until almost two hours later that Rory had looked at her watch and realized that her mom would be home soon. He'd offered to drive her, but she refused, knowing that the presence of his car in Stars Hollow would prompt many unnecessary questions. There was a bus stop nearby, she'd argued, and it was out of his way. He'd just nodded, understanding that she didn't want to be seen with him, but didn't argue, willing to be happy with just the time they'd spent together. She smiled at him happily as she told him she'd see him tomorrow, and he smiled back, a nice, genuine smile. He didn't try to kiss her as she turned around and just watched as she crossed the street and waved as she got on her bus, and she was glad, grateful for his understanding.
* * *
She remembered coming home and breathing a sigh of relief when she saw that the Jeep wasn't in the driveway. She remembered unlocking the door and turning on the lights, hurriedly opening her book bag and spreading her books on her desk, then taking off her jacket and going to the kitchen to make coffee. She remembered spreading out her papers to make it look as if she'd been home for a while, and then realizing suddenly that this was the first time she was getting ready to deliberately lie to her mother. She remembered her surprise at how easily these actions had come to her, how natural it had seemed for her to pretend that she had been home the whole afternoon. She remembered saying hi to Lorelai as she had entered, and then promptly going to her room after having given her a kiss, saying something about having a lot of homework.
If Lorelai had noticed anything amiss, she didn't say anything. She'd simply yelled to her when it was time for dinner, and they'd eaten their delivered Chinese food without much conversation, as Rory had thought about her day and Lorelai had talked on the phone to Sookie, who had gotten into another kitchen accident and was hopping around on one foot, as it appeared from Lorelai's side of the conversation, looking for an ice pack and trying to turn over a chair. If it had been any other day, Rory would have been laughing along with the concerned but amused Lorelai, but she could barely focus on the one-sided conversation as she thought about Tristan and the time they had spent together. It felt surreal that Lorelai was acting as if nothing had happened when everything looked so different to Rory-she had done something so crazy, so completely out of character, that she almost expected everyone to see it the second they looked at her, and yet here she was, eating with Lorelai as she did on so many evenings, and everything was the same.
She felt oddly betrayed, almost, as Lorelai hung up the phone and turned to her brightly, explaining that Sookie had been surprised when her cake had "slightly exploded" and that she had knocked over a chair and twisted her ankle in her rush to get to her fire extinguisher. She went on to reminisce about Sookie's previous accidents as Rory sat there and listened half-heartedly, feeling that her mother, of all people, should have known that something was wrong, and yet afraid to tell her on her own.
-
And that was the way things went from then on, Rory mused. She learned, over time, to shield the blue eyes that were currently staring back at her in the mirror, to cover up the truth behind a veil of mischief and amusement that she and Lorelai shared, wanting all the time to tell Lorelai and yet being afraid of what reaction the truth would bring.
She would walk through Stars Hollow sometimes, and she'd feel guilty when Miss Patty said hi to her with that piercing gaze that didn't really uncover anything but was designed to make you feel as if she knew all your secrets. She would feel naked sometimes when she stood at the doorway of Luke's diner, naked and dirty and a lie, because these people would look at her with their warm, loving eyes, and they'd be seeing someone that no longer existed.
Sometimes, when talking to Lane, she caught a flicker in her gaze, a flicker of uncertainty and maybe of fear, and she knew it was because Lane caught that difference, caught the subtle changes that made Rory different. They didn't talk honestly anymore-Rory couldn't, not with this new secret, and Lane unconsciously reciprocated with an invisible barrier of her own.
Lane didn't wait for her at the bus stop anymore.
***************************************************
Author's Note: Please let me know if the timeline is still confusing. It's something that I've been struggling with, but I hope I've successfully resolved the issue in this chapter. Thanks for reading.
Author's Note: Several reviewers stated that they were confused by the timeline of this story, so I feel that an explanation is in order. I am jumping around between the past and the present, and my chapters have been arranged in the following way: the first part (my Prologue) took place in the present, as Rory is looking in the mirror. The second part (Chapter 1) takes place in the past. The third part takes place in the present and the fourth is, again, in the past. Starting now, I think that the times will vary throughout the chapters, which sounds confusing, but I'm hoping that it will become slightly clearer that way. The chapter begins with the present and quickly makes its way back into the past.
I also apologize for taking so long to update. I will try to make the next update a lot sooner. And now, without further ado, on with the story.
Reflections: Chapter 4
Rory looked intently at her reflection in the mirror. She remembered changing her mind a million times that day, and eventually deciding that she might as well do the inevitable. She left her last class quickly, and went to her locker to grab her books. When she went out to the courtyard, he was waiting for her. She didn't know how he had managed it-he had left class after her and she knew he'd gone to his locker because he had his jacket and was no longer holding his history book-but she didn't ask. She was unsure of what to say to him now, in broad daylight. She didn't know what she wanted to say, didn't know what she wanted to happen.
He smiled at her, and she felt herself smiling back. "Let's go do something."
She stared at him, thinking about it. She knew she shouldn't. She knew that she should end it right there, should tell him that she had a boyfriend, should say no and go home, to Stars Hollow. But logic didn't help.
"Okay," she answered.
He grinned at her, and turned towards his car. "Let's go."
_
They'd driven around for a while, then stopped at a small coffee house. They didn't talk about Dean-didn't talk about Jamie-but made small talk, and found that they had many things in common. He read a lot, she'd found out, and they had similar tastes in books. They argued about everything from books to music to TV shows to coffee flavors, and it wasn't until almost two hours later that Rory had looked at her watch and realized that her mom would be home soon. He'd offered to drive her, but she refused, knowing that the presence of his car in Stars Hollow would prompt many unnecessary questions. There was a bus stop nearby, she'd argued, and it was out of his way. He'd just nodded, understanding that she didn't want to be seen with him, but didn't argue, willing to be happy with just the time they'd spent together. She smiled at him happily as she told him she'd see him tomorrow, and he smiled back, a nice, genuine smile. He didn't try to kiss her as she turned around and just watched as she crossed the street and waved as she got on her bus, and she was glad, grateful for his understanding.
* * *
She remembered coming home and breathing a sigh of relief when she saw that the Jeep wasn't in the driveway. She remembered unlocking the door and turning on the lights, hurriedly opening her book bag and spreading her books on her desk, then taking off her jacket and going to the kitchen to make coffee. She remembered spreading out her papers to make it look as if she'd been home for a while, and then realizing suddenly that this was the first time she was getting ready to deliberately lie to her mother. She remembered her surprise at how easily these actions had come to her, how natural it had seemed for her to pretend that she had been home the whole afternoon. She remembered saying hi to Lorelai as she had entered, and then promptly going to her room after having given her a kiss, saying something about having a lot of homework.
If Lorelai had noticed anything amiss, she didn't say anything. She'd simply yelled to her when it was time for dinner, and they'd eaten their delivered Chinese food without much conversation, as Rory had thought about her day and Lorelai had talked on the phone to Sookie, who had gotten into another kitchen accident and was hopping around on one foot, as it appeared from Lorelai's side of the conversation, looking for an ice pack and trying to turn over a chair. If it had been any other day, Rory would have been laughing along with the concerned but amused Lorelai, but she could barely focus on the one-sided conversation as she thought about Tristan and the time they had spent together. It felt surreal that Lorelai was acting as if nothing had happened when everything looked so different to Rory-she had done something so crazy, so completely out of character, that she almost expected everyone to see it the second they looked at her, and yet here she was, eating with Lorelai as she did on so many evenings, and everything was the same.
She felt oddly betrayed, almost, as Lorelai hung up the phone and turned to her brightly, explaining that Sookie had been surprised when her cake had "slightly exploded" and that she had knocked over a chair and twisted her ankle in her rush to get to her fire extinguisher. She went on to reminisce about Sookie's previous accidents as Rory sat there and listened half-heartedly, feeling that her mother, of all people, should have known that something was wrong, and yet afraid to tell her on her own.
-
And that was the way things went from then on, Rory mused. She learned, over time, to shield the blue eyes that were currently staring back at her in the mirror, to cover up the truth behind a veil of mischief and amusement that she and Lorelai shared, wanting all the time to tell Lorelai and yet being afraid of what reaction the truth would bring.
She would walk through Stars Hollow sometimes, and she'd feel guilty when Miss Patty said hi to her with that piercing gaze that didn't really uncover anything but was designed to make you feel as if she knew all your secrets. She would feel naked sometimes when she stood at the doorway of Luke's diner, naked and dirty and a lie, because these people would look at her with their warm, loving eyes, and they'd be seeing someone that no longer existed.
Sometimes, when talking to Lane, she caught a flicker in her gaze, a flicker of uncertainty and maybe of fear, and she knew it was because Lane caught that difference, caught the subtle changes that made Rory different. They didn't talk honestly anymore-Rory couldn't, not with this new secret, and Lane unconsciously reciprocated with an invisible barrier of her own.
Lane didn't wait for her at the bus stop anymore.
***************************************************
Author's Note: Please let me know if the timeline is still confusing. It's something that I've been struggling with, but I hope I've successfully resolved the issue in this chapter. Thanks for reading.