Title: Key Hole

Author: Remmy

E-mail: sexy_veela@hotmail.com

Rated: PG-13

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Genre: PWP? fluff, sap, romance, humor

A/N: Special thankies to.... Missy Wong! Thank you for proofreading, and you are just about the greatest person I met on-line~! Also...My name... has double 'm' now because when I was getting an account at fictionally, someone already had Remy. Thus, I'm stuck with double 'm'...

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Utter and complete embarrassed silence (mainly on Harry's part) swept Harry and Draco until Draco burst out laughing from the sheer absurdity of the whole situation.

"Your finger," a wheeze "got stuck," a laughter "in that hole," Draco finished, and fell into another fit of laughter.

Embarrassed silence from Harry.

"So, you only have me to get you out of this... hole"

Harry sincerely wished that his finger were out of the hole so he can strangle Draco.

"Yes, Malfoy. Don't just stand there! HELP!"

"You are hardly in a position to yell or snap at me like that. I can just leave you here if I feel that you don't deserve my help. (Remmy: that didn't sound snobby at all Draco) And, since I'm a very private person, no one virtually ever comes here except me...and not to mention that only the resident of this room can free you, which would be...." Draco trailed off leaving Harry to guess what he just insinuated.

"What do you want me to do Malfoy? Beg? Kiss your toe after you let me out? What the hell is this hole anyways?"

"The hole, the one with your finger in it," chuckle from Draco and a glare from Harry "is a key hole."

"A key hole? Don't you have magic to open the door? And must you emphasize that my finger is stuck in the hole every single time?"

"Well, the room was built way back in mid 13th century, and back in the time, magic wasn't fully developed. Thus keys were used. I did a research on this room, seeing that it's one of the oldest rooms in the castle, and as far as I know, the room had a special enchanted charm to prevent intruders. And yes, I have to emphasize."

A smirk from Draco.

A glare from Harry until he digested sentences that Draco had said earlier.

"Wait.....What kind.... of charm?" Harry asked, now scared.

"Well....er...." Now, it was Draco's turn to blush.

"What? Do they make you cut off your finger or anything painful like that?"

"Remember what I said about only me being able to free you and stuff like that?"

"Yeah...?"

Harry was starting to get VERY scared.

"Erm..." Draco fidgeting, "like I said, when I did the research on the room, I learned some ... interesting facts..."

"Such as?"

"This room belonged to Salazar Slytherin, who LOVED privacy and... eh....sex"

Chocked noises from Harry plus incredulous eyes and a disgusted face expression to top it off.

"The books you read actually SAY that?"

"Well, no. But it was kind of obvious."

"What do you mean? What kind of books you read anyways? Sex Life of the Founders?"

Blush from Draco.

"OH MY GOD! There is such thing? And you READ them?"

"NO!" Very forceful reply. "I mean, no."

Draco was busy observing at the floor while Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Really...?"

"No, Potter. And no, no more objections. Do you want finger out or not?" more calmness could be heard from Draco since he has the power now.

"Well, fine. But, what does Salazar's sex life has got to do with this?"

"I'll explain it in the moment, just listen to me! Merlin!"

"Fine!" Harry was tempted to stick his tongue out. But then again, there was that maturity thing and oh, forgot. He needed Draco...................To help him get his finger freed!! Gee what were YOU thinking?

Draco looked Harry with frowns in his face because Harry was glaring at... nothing.

"Er... anyways...before I was SO rudely interrupted, the founder liked privacy SO much that he decided to put some charm on the door's guardian figure, thus the dragon."

Harry nodded, all traces of mirth gone, half-scared of what would happen.

"If anyone, not approved by the permanent resident of the room attempts to break in, the charm activates, capturing the intruder in any way the dragon sees fit."

"And, let me guess, it decided to trap my finger."

"Yes, brilliant observation, Potter. Now, remember what I said about Salazar's other favorite thing?"

"Sex?"

"Yes, and this is where this complication comes in."

"Complication?"

"Depends on how you think. If you are perverted enough, which is very possible, it could even be interpreted as some sort of blessing"

"What is it?"

"The early form of this curse, forced the..er.. victim to have sex with Salazar or er... with the current resident of the room."

"WHAT? NO! I don't want sex! Hey! Wait! You said EARLY! So it must've changed now!!" yelled Harry, with relief.

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?!?!"

"You see, the first 'victim' that got caught wasn't really up to Salazar's standards."

"Who was it?"

"Erm... It was some...house elf... and since the charm was on, Salazar was forced to have sex with him."

"An elf? And a 'he' elf at that? What was the unfortunate elf's name anyways?"

"Dicky."

"Dicky?"

"Dicky."

"Honestly, Dicky?"

Laughter from Harry.

"Yes! Dicky. Gee!! Grow up, Potter! If I remember correctly, he was some sort of great-great-great-... ah forget it. Just add lots of 'great's, -grandfather of Dobby."

"DOBBY? Dobby's long-time ago relative, I mean his ancestor, had sex with Salazar?"

"Yes. It was in the book and Dobby used to brag about his distinctive relative's one-night stand with the famous figure to his fellow house elves. I overheard him. Though, I never knew it was Salazar until the research."

Disgusted sounds from Harry.

"That's.... nasty. So, did he get any more?"

"Well, yes, but the victims didn't get much better."

"Oh. Why? Who is it this time? Passing giants? Mountain trolls?"

Silent nodding from Draco.

"MERLIN'S BEARD!! That's sick! Anything else?"

"Well, if it makes you feel much better, the giant is Hagrid's ancestor."

"No, it doesn't. Doesn't Salazar get to choose whether he wants to or not?"

"Well, no. Apparently, he couldn't find the way to be choosey. It was all or nothing condition. And seeing he had greasy hair and a bastard-y personality to rival that of Snape's, he couldn't get it on his own."

"But, really... Elves, trolls and giants? That's low!"

"Yeah.. Anyways, the experiences shocked Salazar SO much after few sessions that he took the charm off..."

"That's good, then!"

"...until he replaced the charm around his eighties, since he wasn't getting any at all."

"Oh."

"And he forgot to take off the charm before he died, and no one knows how to take it off, since the charm was modified. Well, maybe except Voldemort, seeing this charm is dangerous and he probably doesn't get any neither with his dysfunctional body."

Snickers from both Harry and Draco.

"What happens if you refuse?"

"It wasn't noted in the book, but it insinuated that refusal would damn the person to hell, including the resident, and bordering along painful deaths"

"And Salazar was actually dumb enough to cast that and not take it off? And Dumbledore gave the room to you?"

"Well, I made it clear to Slytherins that no one is to approach unless you want painful death, but I didn't bother to announce it to the school since this is part of Slytherin corridor...."

Draco trails off, swearing under his breath.

"So what you are saying is....?"

Uncomfortable silence.

"Yes, Potter. You and I have to have sex."

TBC.. (because if I said it's over, you'd all kill me...^^;...) So... would there be a loophole out of this situation?

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Remmy

October, 2002

Thanks to : amy, JadeDragon, celestinne, Zahrah Radcliffe, Elvin Goddess, ruz, Mistwalker, Lady Doncaster, Skye, Elenas, Evil laughter, franthephoenix, Michelle, fangirl, Unknown Slytherin, Nadia I. Rey ......I hope I didn't miss anyone... If I did, you are welcome to yell at me at...