A/N - Well, as I write this, I'm about 5 chapters ahead of my uploading… Which is why when you readers see this, ff.net will have restored my stories… Unless, of course, I'm forced to re-upload everything…
Chapter Twelve: My Quiet Thoughts
This wish will soar to a windless sky
It's just that our ideal won't make it, but I can dream
And now you believe the sparkling is in time
It changes into a priceless episode
Just fly away
~Just Fly Away
I'm not stupid. I knew… I just wasn't sure… Cowardice has always been under my wing. Maybe it just was another reason why I was never meant to exist. My horrible body, so weak and feeble, but so strong at the same time… I don't know how to use my cold body, but Yami-san and Akari-san and Aishuu-san all know. Especially Aishuu-san.
I'm such a fool… She'll never love me. She's always thought of me as a friend, nothing more… She's too good for a weakling like me… She's an angel, I know she is. I wish I could kiss her. Even with my cold lips, I wish I could, just once, and I would be happy.
I won't tell Aishuu-san who she is. I think he knows, but in case he doesn't, I won't. And she's got someone to love already… I'm nothing to her now… She seems so happy with him, I won't interfere. I hate him with her, but it's alright. If she's happy, that's all I ask. I'll be good.
I wonder why Aishuu-san is so…appreciative…of my feelings? He's supposed to be a demon, and he seems so nice, and I like that. I hope he doesn't go wild, that would be bad. So many innocent people would be hurt. But why do I feel like that horrible day is near?
I named Aishuu-san accidentally. He just seemed to suit that name so well… I didn't mean to offend him, I hope he wasn't lying when he said it was alright. I'm sure he has a heart under all that tough, cold exterior. It's almost like he were someone good, but something just went wrong one day. My, that sounds a lot like my life…
I wonder when it really happened… I don't remember… Perhaps it was the time when I was attacked, all by myself, by that monster… He came through the gate… And then… He hit me with his sword… That's all I remember from then… And after that… I woke up…like this…in the Digital World. I remember extreme pain… And a warning, whispered in my ear…
"Don't tell anyone, little boy… It will harm you… Don't tell…" But Aishuu knows. I didn't need to tell him. And Yami and Akari knew. Even if they're like a part of me, I'm happy that they're my friends. Arigatou, minna-san.
I love you, Tenshi-sama…