The Dangers of Dwarf Maidens
By: Becky and Coreinha
Disclaimer: We don't own any of this. We never did. *sigh* This is just for fun, we're not making any money from it.
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"Aragorn, don't paddle so hard! We're too close to the rocks over there!"
"What?"
Legolas' words were lost in the roar of the river, and Aragorn heedlessly paddled them straight into a cluster of boulders half hidden beneath the surface of the river. The small canoe broke up into little bits, sending it's hapless passengers flying into the icy water.
Legolas' head broke the surface first and he frantically searched the rapids for his human companion.
"Strider! Where are you!" Legolas called frantically.
He groaned, and swam for the shore, where he'd have a better view. Just as he gained the banks of the river, strong arms hauled him out and patted him on the back. Legolas turned around, "Elrohir, do you see Strider anywhere?"
"Don't worry, Elladan saw him," Elrohir pointed in the general direction of the older twin, who had Aragorn by the arm, and was towing him in.
Legolas and Elrohir made their way quickly to where Elladan was hauling the sodden Ranger out of the water.
"Estel, are you alright? Estel?" Elladan's quickly checked his youngest brother over for injuries.
Aragorn shoved his older brother's hands away, and rolled onto his hands and knees, hacking and coughing up mouthfuls of water.
He was just catching his breath when Elrohir and Legolas arrived.
"Are you alright?" They asked the question almost in unison,earning a scathing glare from the breathless human.
"Yes. Legolas *gasp* why didn't you warn me about those rocks? *hack hack*"
"I DID! If you would listen once in a while Strider...."
"If you would speak up! I was behind you, *hack* and the river was loud! I don't have elven hearing!"
Elladan ended the arguement with a wave of his hand. "You're both fine, luckily, Elrohir and I were here to save you both."
Legolas rolled his eyes, and muttered something under his breath. Then he rose gracefully, "I'm going to get some wood to start a fire. That water was cold, and theres a chill in the air, I don't want to bring you back to Rivendell sick, Aragorn."
~*~
20 minutes later:
The twins had bundled their younger brother up in warm woolen blankets from their packs, while Legolas got a fire going quickly. Aragorn looked annoyed at all the fussing, but he knew by now it was useless to fight them on the matter of his health, and he was enjoying the warmth from the fire though he would never have admitted it to his brothers and Legolas.
"Feeling better now?" Elladan rested his hand on Aragorns forehead, checking for a fever.
Aragorn pulled back, "I'm fine Elladan. You worry far to much."
"You're just lucky we were there, Estel. How many times do Elrohir and I have to save you two?" He included Legolas in his amused gaze.
Legolas snorted, "I can think of a few times when I saved your hides, Elladan."
The older twin rolled his eyes. "Name one."
"Very well." Legolas gave Aragorn a mischeivious look. "Remember that time when you visited Eryn Lasgalen, oh, about 600 years ago?"
Elrohir's eyes widened. "No, we don't need to tell this story, Legolas. You're right, you've saved us many more times than we've saved you."
Elladan nodded emphatically in agreement.
Aragorn's eyes widened, if his brothers would admit defeat that easily, it must be a good story indeed. "I haven't heard this story, Legolas, pray share it with us."
Legolas hunkered down beside the ranger, and settled comfortably against the tree Aragorn was leaning on.
"Well, it all started when Elrond came to visit my father, bringing his wife and children with him."
"He brought Celebrian?" Aragorn looked interested, he'd only heard her described by Glorfindel, as Elrond and the twins rarely spoke of her. He knew she'd been horribly tortured by orcs, and was awaiting her family in Valinor, but little else. "What was she like?"
Legolas smiled, "She was beautiful, and wondrously kind. I liked her very much." He held Elladan's gaze for a moment, before continuing.
"As I was saying, the twins decided to try some of Father's wine, without asking permission, of course....."
~~~*~~~
"Elrohir, this wine *hic* is really good" Elladan looked vaguely at the forest around him.
"I know," Elrohir rose on wobbly legs, "Come, lesh go shee if we can find shome shpiders to kill. Didn't Prince Legolash shay there were giant shpiders here?"
"*hic* I think so. I bet we can kill a whole bunch!"
The twins wandered through the forest on unsteady legs, passing what was left of the Elven Kings good wine back and forth between them.
"I don't think there are any shpiders here Elladan. Lesh go back." Elrohir giggled at nothing in particular, and turned slowly around, careful of his shaky limbs.
Elladan wasn't quite ready when Elrohir turned, and was knocked off balance. He landed on his rear end in a mud puddle with a loud sploosh! Elrohir roared with laughter at his twin's misfortune.
Elladan, indignant at his brothers amusement, moved far more quickly than a drunken elf should have been able to, and swept his twins feet out from under him.
Elrohir landed with a thump in the sludge, and gave his brother an indignant glare, before sending a handful of mud sailing through the air straight at Elladan's head. Normally, he would have easily avoided the projectile, but in his inebriated state, Elladan's reflexes were not what they should have been, and the mud smacked him right between the eyes.
Furious, Elladan threw a clump of mud and grass right back at his twin, which caught him neatly in the chest. This resulted in about an hour of throwing mud, and giggling hysterically at each other, before the wine finally overpowered them, and they dozed off together in the mud.
~*~
"Do you think they're dead, Mali?" The dwarf nudged the sleeping elf with her toe.
"I don't know, Lorin. Perhaps if we got them wet?"
Ailba rolled her eyes, "Mali, they're in a mud puddle, I doubt they'd notice if we got them wet."
Mali giggled, "You're right, let's drag them out of the mud, and see if they wake up." The other five agreed, and pulled some roped out of their packs.
Soon, they had tied ropes to the twins ankles and were dragging them out of their mud. Startled out of their drunken sleep, the twins jerked awake, and leapt to their feet, or tried to anyways. With their ankles bound together, they couldn't balance well, and they landed on their butts, splashing mud all over the six dwarf maidens in front of them.
Ailba, Lorin, Nalin, Corda and Beclin all turned to Mali, giving her glares of varying ferocity.
"Good idea, Mali."
Mali rolled her eyes, and turned to the startled elves, who were alternately trying to pull the ropes off their feet, and clutching their heads, as though they were about to explode.
Judging from from the smell on their breath, they were probably pretty hung over. Elves really had no head for spirits at all. Mali bit back a giggle, and moved to help them.
Elladan stared in shock at the bearded figure before him. A dwarf. He sighed in relief. Many dwarves came through Rivendell, he knew that if you treated them with the proper courtesy, they weren't that bad.
He clutched his aching head, and let the dwarf pull the rope off his feet. In his slightly muddled state, he failed to notice that this was a female. "Thank you, Master Dwarf."
Mali's eyes widened, "What did you just call me?"
Elrohir turned to his twin, "Elladan, this is a maiden, anyone can see that."
"Uhm...... many apologies, my Lady. I was slightly muddled, I did not mean to offend."
Mali gave the elf a dirty look. She was the daughter of a great Dwarf Lord, and as such, was generally treated with much respect. Not to mention, she was known for her beauty in the Dwarven Realms, and had many suitors asking her hand.
To be refered to as male was deeply offensive to her, and in her fury, she didn't even hear his apology.
"My ladies? Take them."
Normally, the twins would have easily avoided the maidens' charge. But their heads were throbbing, and they could barely see through the hangover. Before they knew it, they were neatly pinned on the ground.
They struggled weakly as they were bound spread eagle to stakes driven into the ground.
The maidens giggled at their handsome captives. "Let's see if they're as hairless as their faces," Corda giggled. She drew her knife, and cut away first Elladan's shirt, then Elrohir's. "Why, they're as pale as the moon!"
The twins squirmed, and cursed as the maidens pointed and giggled, making fun of their hairless chests, and long limbs.
Eventually, Mali grew tired of their sport, and wanted to head home. As they left, Ailba and Lorin delivered sharp kicks to the twins heads, knocking them unconscious.
And so they lay there, helpless and alone, in the forest for 3 days.
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By: Becky and Coreinha
Disclaimer: We don't own any of this. We never did. *sigh* This is just for fun, we're not making any money from it.
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"Aragorn, don't paddle so hard! We're too close to the rocks over there!"
"What?"
Legolas' words were lost in the roar of the river, and Aragorn heedlessly paddled them straight into a cluster of boulders half hidden beneath the surface of the river. The small canoe broke up into little bits, sending it's hapless passengers flying into the icy water.
Legolas' head broke the surface first and he frantically searched the rapids for his human companion.
"Strider! Where are you!" Legolas called frantically.
He groaned, and swam for the shore, where he'd have a better view. Just as he gained the banks of the river, strong arms hauled him out and patted him on the back. Legolas turned around, "Elrohir, do you see Strider anywhere?"
"Don't worry, Elladan saw him," Elrohir pointed in the general direction of the older twin, who had Aragorn by the arm, and was towing him in.
Legolas and Elrohir made their way quickly to where Elladan was hauling the sodden Ranger out of the water.
"Estel, are you alright? Estel?" Elladan's quickly checked his youngest brother over for injuries.
Aragorn shoved his older brother's hands away, and rolled onto his hands and knees, hacking and coughing up mouthfuls of water.
He was just catching his breath when Elrohir and Legolas arrived.
"Are you alright?" They asked the question almost in unison,earning a scathing glare from the breathless human.
"Yes. Legolas *gasp* why didn't you warn me about those rocks? *hack hack*"
"I DID! If you would listen once in a while Strider...."
"If you would speak up! I was behind you, *hack* and the river was loud! I don't have elven hearing!"
Elladan ended the arguement with a wave of his hand. "You're both fine, luckily, Elrohir and I were here to save you both."
Legolas rolled his eyes, and muttered something under his breath. Then he rose gracefully, "I'm going to get some wood to start a fire. That water was cold, and theres a chill in the air, I don't want to bring you back to Rivendell sick, Aragorn."
~*~
20 minutes later:
The twins had bundled their younger brother up in warm woolen blankets from their packs, while Legolas got a fire going quickly. Aragorn looked annoyed at all the fussing, but he knew by now it was useless to fight them on the matter of his health, and he was enjoying the warmth from the fire though he would never have admitted it to his brothers and Legolas.
"Feeling better now?" Elladan rested his hand on Aragorns forehead, checking for a fever.
Aragorn pulled back, "I'm fine Elladan. You worry far to much."
"You're just lucky we were there, Estel. How many times do Elrohir and I have to save you two?" He included Legolas in his amused gaze.
Legolas snorted, "I can think of a few times when I saved your hides, Elladan."
The older twin rolled his eyes. "Name one."
"Very well." Legolas gave Aragorn a mischeivious look. "Remember that time when you visited Eryn Lasgalen, oh, about 600 years ago?"
Elrohir's eyes widened. "No, we don't need to tell this story, Legolas. You're right, you've saved us many more times than we've saved you."
Elladan nodded emphatically in agreement.
Aragorn's eyes widened, if his brothers would admit defeat that easily, it must be a good story indeed. "I haven't heard this story, Legolas, pray share it with us."
Legolas hunkered down beside the ranger, and settled comfortably against the tree Aragorn was leaning on.
"Well, it all started when Elrond came to visit my father, bringing his wife and children with him."
"He brought Celebrian?" Aragorn looked interested, he'd only heard her described by Glorfindel, as Elrond and the twins rarely spoke of her. He knew she'd been horribly tortured by orcs, and was awaiting her family in Valinor, but little else. "What was she like?"
Legolas smiled, "She was beautiful, and wondrously kind. I liked her very much." He held Elladan's gaze for a moment, before continuing.
"As I was saying, the twins decided to try some of Father's wine, without asking permission, of course....."
~~~*~~~
"Elrohir, this wine *hic* is really good" Elladan looked vaguely at the forest around him.
"I know," Elrohir rose on wobbly legs, "Come, lesh go shee if we can find shome shpiders to kill. Didn't Prince Legolash shay there were giant shpiders here?"
"*hic* I think so. I bet we can kill a whole bunch!"
The twins wandered through the forest on unsteady legs, passing what was left of the Elven Kings good wine back and forth between them.
"I don't think there are any shpiders here Elladan. Lesh go back." Elrohir giggled at nothing in particular, and turned slowly around, careful of his shaky limbs.
Elladan wasn't quite ready when Elrohir turned, and was knocked off balance. He landed on his rear end in a mud puddle with a loud sploosh! Elrohir roared with laughter at his twin's misfortune.
Elladan, indignant at his brothers amusement, moved far more quickly than a drunken elf should have been able to, and swept his twins feet out from under him.
Elrohir landed with a thump in the sludge, and gave his brother an indignant glare, before sending a handful of mud sailing through the air straight at Elladan's head. Normally, he would have easily avoided the projectile, but in his inebriated state, Elladan's reflexes were not what they should have been, and the mud smacked him right between the eyes.
Furious, Elladan threw a clump of mud and grass right back at his twin, which caught him neatly in the chest. This resulted in about an hour of throwing mud, and giggling hysterically at each other, before the wine finally overpowered them, and they dozed off together in the mud.
~*~
"Do you think they're dead, Mali?" The dwarf nudged the sleeping elf with her toe.
"I don't know, Lorin. Perhaps if we got them wet?"
Ailba rolled her eyes, "Mali, they're in a mud puddle, I doubt they'd notice if we got them wet."
Mali giggled, "You're right, let's drag them out of the mud, and see if they wake up." The other five agreed, and pulled some roped out of their packs.
Soon, they had tied ropes to the twins ankles and were dragging them out of their mud. Startled out of their drunken sleep, the twins jerked awake, and leapt to their feet, or tried to anyways. With their ankles bound together, they couldn't balance well, and they landed on their butts, splashing mud all over the six dwarf maidens in front of them.
Ailba, Lorin, Nalin, Corda and Beclin all turned to Mali, giving her glares of varying ferocity.
"Good idea, Mali."
Mali rolled her eyes, and turned to the startled elves, who were alternately trying to pull the ropes off their feet, and clutching their heads, as though they were about to explode.
Judging from from the smell on their breath, they were probably pretty hung over. Elves really had no head for spirits at all. Mali bit back a giggle, and moved to help them.
Elladan stared in shock at the bearded figure before him. A dwarf. He sighed in relief. Many dwarves came through Rivendell, he knew that if you treated them with the proper courtesy, they weren't that bad.
He clutched his aching head, and let the dwarf pull the rope off his feet. In his slightly muddled state, he failed to notice that this was a female. "Thank you, Master Dwarf."
Mali's eyes widened, "What did you just call me?"
Elrohir turned to his twin, "Elladan, this is a maiden, anyone can see that."
"Uhm...... many apologies, my Lady. I was slightly muddled, I did not mean to offend."
Mali gave the elf a dirty look. She was the daughter of a great Dwarf Lord, and as such, was generally treated with much respect. Not to mention, she was known for her beauty in the Dwarven Realms, and had many suitors asking her hand.
To be refered to as male was deeply offensive to her, and in her fury, she didn't even hear his apology.
"My ladies? Take them."
Normally, the twins would have easily avoided the maidens' charge. But their heads were throbbing, and they could barely see through the hangover. Before they knew it, they were neatly pinned on the ground.
They struggled weakly as they were bound spread eagle to stakes driven into the ground.
The maidens giggled at their handsome captives. "Let's see if they're as hairless as their faces," Corda giggled. She drew her knife, and cut away first Elladan's shirt, then Elrohir's. "Why, they're as pale as the moon!"
The twins squirmed, and cursed as the maidens pointed and giggled, making fun of their hairless chests, and long limbs.
Eventually, Mali grew tired of their sport, and wanted to head home. As they left, Ailba and Lorin delivered sharp kicks to the twins heads, knocking them unconscious.
And so they lay there, helpless and alone, in the forest for 3 days.
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