When he died I knew I loved him. Spike always loved me but I hated
him and now I wish I hadn't. From when we first meet I found him as a
stupid vamp. that I couldn't seem to kill. He wanted to kill me so bad.
But when he got the chip in his head he changed, more or less he had to. He
joined our side in the fight against evil, and to tell you the truth,
without him we wouldn't have gotten very far. He fell in love with me as I
still saw him as a lifeless person that I wished wasn't there. After I died
I was going through a lot so I turned to him. I used him over and over
until I couldn't bear myself anymore. Spike knew it but he wanted me so bad
he didn't care what it was doing to me. The way he touched my body as he
made love to me took away all the pain for a very short time. I found
myself wanting him for his love for me, not my love for him. He didn't care
how I used him and threw him away until I told him it had to end. He
couldn't stand for it. He tried to rape me but he stopped, finally
realizing that he was hurting me. I told him that is why I could never love
him. After that he left and he came back with a soul. He was different,
that is when I started to fall in love with him. He fought for me, willing
to give his life for me. Most of my friends hated him but with his soul I
couldn't anymore. He got his soul for me.
When the first came it went to Spike, driving him insane. I tried to help Spike anyway I could. I finally realized I was falling in love with him when the girls told me to leave the fight. All I could do was lay there, I was unable to do anything when Spike came. He told me he loved me for everything I was for, my good and bad. When he went to leave I told him to come back, I asked him to hold me. He held me all night in his arms. The next day he told me it was the best day of his life just to hold me. I should have told him I loved him, but I didn't.
Then Angel came, he wanted to help with the fight against the first. He brought an amulet that was said to help in the fight. Angel said he would wear it not know what will do but I turned him away. I took the amulet. When I saw Spike he said he had better take the amulet. When I told him it was to be worn by a champion he turned away from it, then I gave it to him. As the fight neared an end we were starting to lose are grounds when Spike's amulet went to work. His body filled with light as the vamps started to all turn to dust. He said he could feel his soul. The Hell Mouth started to cave in. All the girls got out and all there was left was Spike and I. He told me to leave but I held his hand and I told him I loved him. He knew I couln't love him because he knew he was going to die. I ran out and just made it before the whole town went under.
As I looked down into the hole that used to be Sunnydale I thought of Spike. He loved me so much and was willing to give his life for me and this time it was taken from him. He will always have a place in my heart and I only wished that he was still with me so I could give him the love that I had finaly found.
When the first came it went to Spike, driving him insane. I tried to help Spike anyway I could. I finally realized I was falling in love with him when the girls told me to leave the fight. All I could do was lay there, I was unable to do anything when Spike came. He told me he loved me for everything I was for, my good and bad. When he went to leave I told him to come back, I asked him to hold me. He held me all night in his arms. The next day he told me it was the best day of his life just to hold me. I should have told him I loved him, but I didn't.
Then Angel came, he wanted to help with the fight against the first. He brought an amulet that was said to help in the fight. Angel said he would wear it not know what will do but I turned him away. I took the amulet. When I saw Spike he said he had better take the amulet. When I told him it was to be worn by a champion he turned away from it, then I gave it to him. As the fight neared an end we were starting to lose are grounds when Spike's amulet went to work. His body filled with light as the vamps started to all turn to dust. He said he could feel his soul. The Hell Mouth started to cave in. All the girls got out and all there was left was Spike and I. He told me to leave but I held his hand and I told him I loved him. He knew I couln't love him because he knew he was going to die. I ran out and just made it before the whole town went under.
As I looked down into the hole that used to be Sunnydale I thought of Spike. He loved me so much and was willing to give his life for me and this time it was taken from him. He will always have a place in my heart and I only wished that he was still with me so I could give him the love that I had finaly found.