The Dangers of Dwarf Maidens
chapter 2
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, it all belongs to Tolkien. I'm not making any money off of it.
A/N: well, sorry this took so long to get out. My co-author has vanished from the face of the earth, so I gave up waiting for her, and decided to put out this chappie myself. Thanks for your patience everyone! Special thanks to Trin for beta'ing, you rock!
"This" is speaking, and 'this' is thoughts
On with the fic! ~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Aragorn roared with laughter. "You were beaten up by six Dwarf Maidens?" He leaned back against the tree, holding his sides as he gasped for air.
Legolas grinned at the twins, who were contemplating the many different ways they could slowly torture the Prince to death. "It gets better, mellon nin...."
~~~*~~~
"Ugh..." Elrohir awoke to a splitting headache. He squinted against the bright sun that filtered down through the trees, and tried to roll over, only to discover that he was quite immobilized.
Turning his aching head to the left, he saw his twin sprawled out in a similar position.
The last he remembered, the sun had been setting in the sky, now it was close to noon. They must have been unconscious all night.
"Elladan.." Elrohir winced at the echoing of his own voice in his head. "Elladan, wake up."
Elladan groaned, and looked over at his twin. "We're still tied up. I was hoping it was a horrible dream brought on by too much wine."
"Uhmm, no. I wish it were. Remind me to never again drink Thranduil's wine."
"If we get out of this."
Elrohir sighed, "So what do we do now? Yell for help?"
"Do you think anyone will actually hear us?" Elladan looked skeptical.
"Probably not." Elrohir sighed again. "This is all your fault, you know."
"MY fault! Who's idea was it to try the wine?"
"Who mistook a dwarf maiden for a male?"
Elladan grunted, "It's not like it's a hard mistake to make, Elrohir."
"Please, her beard was quite thin, and looked very soft and silky. I could tell, and I had more to drink than you did."
"No you didn't, and there was mud in my eyes!"
They continued to argue for a good half hour, before getting tired of each others voice, and began to sulk in silence. It was about this time, that Elladan noticed his bare chest was getting quite itchy.
He looked around, to see that there were vines snaking up several of the trees in the area, and crisscrossing the ground around him.
'Great, I'm lying in poison ivy.' He resisted the urge to bang his head on the ground.
"Elrohir?"
"What." The younger twin was still pouting, he didn't appreciate being accused of falling in love with a dwarf maiden. 'Just because I happened to notice she wasn't as ugly as most dwarves are... sheesh!'
"I'm lying in poison ivy, Elrohir."
"Good." Elrohir resisted smirking, 'Serves him right.'
"No, it's not good, dear brother. See if you can get loose."
"If I could get loose, don't you think I would have done so by now?"
Elladan desperately wished at that moment he could pummel his younger twin into oblivion, but since it was impossible, he took a deep breath, and spoke calmly.
"I cannot get loose either," he ignored his twins sadistic chuckle, and stared up at the trees, since there was nothing else to really look at.
A soft snuffling sound to his right caught the older twins attention.
"Uhmmmm, Elladan?" There was a note of panic in the younger twins voice, that caused Elladan's heart to jump.
"What is it?"
"Bear."
"What?!"
"Theres a bear."
Elladan twisted around and caught a glimpse of the creature his twin spoke of.
"Oh, for Valar's sake, Elrohir, it is just a cub!"
The cub was ambling along, snuffling the ground. It shuffled closer to the younger twin, and sniffed along his bare chest.
Elrohir made a small sound that sounded sort of like "eep!"
Elladan bit back a chuckle, and focused on remaining calm. "Elrohir, you cannot panic. If you do, the cub will get frightened, and call for it's mother. Then we'll be in trouble."
Elrohir remained silent as the bare cub sniffed his face, then gave his cheek a great big slurp. It was all Elladan could do to keep from laughing.
Eventually, the creature grew bored, and wandered off to find it's mother, most likely.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. The sun set in the west, streaking the sky with red and gold, while Elladan shifted back and forth on his itchy bed.
Eventually, exhaustion got the better of both twins, and they dozed off.
~~~*~~~
"In my defense, it was a very large bear cub." Elrohir looked indignant.
Aragorn was fairly rolling on the ground by now, and Legolas was wearing an annoying cheshire cat grin.
Elladan rolled his eyes, and glared at the Prince. "We'll find a way to get revenge for this Legolas, don't you worry."
Legolas just grinned wider, if it was possible, and continued with his story.
~~~*~~~
Elladan awoke even more miserable than he had been when he fell asleep. Sometime in the night, it had started to rain. So now, not only was he itchy and unable to do a thing about it, he was wet and itchy and unable to do a thing about it.
Elrohir awoke with a start, and found himself staring into a pair of beady black eyes. He bit back a girlish scream....
~~~*~~~
"It was NOT a girlish scream, Legolas!"
Elladan grinned, "Yes it was."
~~~*~~~
He bit back a girlish scream, and jerked against the ropes.
The snake slithered off harmlessly into the brush.
Elladan turned his head toward his brother, and grinned, despite his discomfort, and the itchy red rash that now covered him from his neck to his waist.
They spoke little that day, only to whine about hunger or thirst occasionally.
Eventually, the sky cleared, revealing the sun setting again.
As they prepared for another uncomfortable night, an eerie chittering noise filled the little glade.
Elladan gasped as an eight-legged shadow fell across his prone body, and desperately tried to wriggle free.
Just as the spider was about to sink it's slimey fangs into the helpless elf, there was a swishTHUNK, and the spider keeled over on its side.
Elladan looked up to see another figure standing over them, the last rays of light shining through his golden hair.
"So this is where you two have been these past three days."
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
More A/N:
Cir: Glad you liked it, sorry this chappie took so long!
Deanna: I believe it's golden, although Legolas never told me for certain.
Pennsuleien: I LOVE the twins, that's why I torture them!! It's so much fun!
Simbelmyrne: As you can see, I haven't stopped, just took a short sabbatical! Keep reading!
Firefall: I'm having LOTS of fun with this one, lol! Chapter 3 should be out soon, probably in the next couple days, providing I don't explode or something.
Hex: I'm glad you liked it. Keep reading!
Beejang: Thanks! Keep reading!
Sparx: Thanks for reviewing! Here's the next chappie for ya!
XOXO
Cor
chapter 2
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, it all belongs to Tolkien. I'm not making any money off of it.
A/N: well, sorry this took so long to get out. My co-author has vanished from the face of the earth, so I gave up waiting for her, and decided to put out this chappie myself. Thanks for your patience everyone! Special thanks to Trin for beta'ing, you rock!
"This" is speaking, and 'this' is thoughts
On with the fic! ~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Aragorn roared with laughter. "You were beaten up by six Dwarf Maidens?" He leaned back against the tree, holding his sides as he gasped for air.
Legolas grinned at the twins, who were contemplating the many different ways they could slowly torture the Prince to death. "It gets better, mellon nin...."
~~~*~~~
"Ugh..." Elrohir awoke to a splitting headache. He squinted against the bright sun that filtered down through the trees, and tried to roll over, only to discover that he was quite immobilized.
Turning his aching head to the left, he saw his twin sprawled out in a similar position.
The last he remembered, the sun had been setting in the sky, now it was close to noon. They must have been unconscious all night.
"Elladan.." Elrohir winced at the echoing of his own voice in his head. "Elladan, wake up."
Elladan groaned, and looked over at his twin. "We're still tied up. I was hoping it was a horrible dream brought on by too much wine."
"Uhmm, no. I wish it were. Remind me to never again drink Thranduil's wine."
"If we get out of this."
Elrohir sighed, "So what do we do now? Yell for help?"
"Do you think anyone will actually hear us?" Elladan looked skeptical.
"Probably not." Elrohir sighed again. "This is all your fault, you know."
"MY fault! Who's idea was it to try the wine?"
"Who mistook a dwarf maiden for a male?"
Elladan grunted, "It's not like it's a hard mistake to make, Elrohir."
"Please, her beard was quite thin, and looked very soft and silky. I could tell, and I had more to drink than you did."
"No you didn't, and there was mud in my eyes!"
They continued to argue for a good half hour, before getting tired of each others voice, and began to sulk in silence. It was about this time, that Elladan noticed his bare chest was getting quite itchy.
He looked around, to see that there were vines snaking up several of the trees in the area, and crisscrossing the ground around him.
'Great, I'm lying in poison ivy.' He resisted the urge to bang his head on the ground.
"Elrohir?"
"What." The younger twin was still pouting, he didn't appreciate being accused of falling in love with a dwarf maiden. 'Just because I happened to notice she wasn't as ugly as most dwarves are... sheesh!'
"I'm lying in poison ivy, Elrohir."
"Good." Elrohir resisted smirking, 'Serves him right.'
"No, it's not good, dear brother. See if you can get loose."
"If I could get loose, don't you think I would have done so by now?"
Elladan desperately wished at that moment he could pummel his younger twin into oblivion, but since it was impossible, he took a deep breath, and spoke calmly.
"I cannot get loose either," he ignored his twins sadistic chuckle, and stared up at the trees, since there was nothing else to really look at.
A soft snuffling sound to his right caught the older twins attention.
"Uhmmmm, Elladan?" There was a note of panic in the younger twins voice, that caused Elladan's heart to jump.
"What is it?"
"Bear."
"What?!"
"Theres a bear."
Elladan twisted around and caught a glimpse of the creature his twin spoke of.
"Oh, for Valar's sake, Elrohir, it is just a cub!"
The cub was ambling along, snuffling the ground. It shuffled closer to the younger twin, and sniffed along his bare chest.
Elrohir made a small sound that sounded sort of like "eep!"
Elladan bit back a chuckle, and focused on remaining calm. "Elrohir, you cannot panic. If you do, the cub will get frightened, and call for it's mother. Then we'll be in trouble."
Elrohir remained silent as the bare cub sniffed his face, then gave his cheek a great big slurp. It was all Elladan could do to keep from laughing.
Eventually, the creature grew bored, and wandered off to find it's mother, most likely.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. The sun set in the west, streaking the sky with red and gold, while Elladan shifted back and forth on his itchy bed.
Eventually, exhaustion got the better of both twins, and they dozed off.
~~~*~~~
"In my defense, it was a very large bear cub." Elrohir looked indignant.
Aragorn was fairly rolling on the ground by now, and Legolas was wearing an annoying cheshire cat grin.
Elladan rolled his eyes, and glared at the Prince. "We'll find a way to get revenge for this Legolas, don't you worry."
Legolas just grinned wider, if it was possible, and continued with his story.
~~~*~~~
Elladan awoke even more miserable than he had been when he fell asleep. Sometime in the night, it had started to rain. So now, not only was he itchy and unable to do a thing about it, he was wet and itchy and unable to do a thing about it.
Elrohir awoke with a start, and found himself staring into a pair of beady black eyes. He bit back a girlish scream....
~~~*~~~
"It was NOT a girlish scream, Legolas!"
Elladan grinned, "Yes it was."
~~~*~~~
He bit back a girlish scream, and jerked against the ropes.
The snake slithered off harmlessly into the brush.
Elladan turned his head toward his brother, and grinned, despite his discomfort, and the itchy red rash that now covered him from his neck to his waist.
They spoke little that day, only to whine about hunger or thirst occasionally.
Eventually, the sky cleared, revealing the sun setting again.
As they prepared for another uncomfortable night, an eerie chittering noise filled the little glade.
Elladan gasped as an eight-legged shadow fell across his prone body, and desperately tried to wriggle free.
Just as the spider was about to sink it's slimey fangs into the helpless elf, there was a swishTHUNK, and the spider keeled over on its side.
Elladan looked up to see another figure standing over them, the last rays of light shining through his golden hair.
"So this is where you two have been these past three days."
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
More A/N:
Cir: Glad you liked it, sorry this chappie took so long!
Deanna: I believe it's golden, although Legolas never told me for certain.
Pennsuleien: I LOVE the twins, that's why I torture them!! It's so much fun!
Simbelmyrne: As you can see, I haven't stopped, just took a short sabbatical! Keep reading!
Firefall: I'm having LOTS of fun with this one, lol! Chapter 3 should be out soon, probably in the next couple days, providing I don't explode or something.
Hex: I'm glad you liked it. Keep reading!
Beejang: Thanks! Keep reading!
Sparx: Thanks for reviewing! Here's the next chappie for ya!
XOXO
Cor