A/N - I recall being asked if I liked torturing Takato.  (Of course she does.)  Actually I just really like you.  (Sure…) And it's just so easy to mold you.  (T_T)

Chapter Eighteen: Tired, so tired…

Chasing after the wind, I'll race through time
Unfolding a new map in my heart
The shining drops on the thin earth
Eventually in the future turn into a great river

~On the Hill ~Kaze wo Kanjite~

                Takato sat there, staring wistfully at all the people who were laughing and having fun.  Why must I suffer, when everyone else can be happy?  It's not fair.  But I must have deserved it, even if it is unfair.  The night air felt good on his face.  He sat on the roof of the bakery.  It was a nice, quiet perch, although a bit difficult to get to. He sighed.

                He held the knife up to the silvery moonlight.  It glinted as menacingly as his glaive had.  It felt good, to cut myself.  Maybe I'll do it again?  After all, I can't die.  And no one would care if I did.  They're so happy, away in their happy lives, that they probably wouldn't care about a depressing cyborg freak.  The pain felt good. 

                *Such crazy thoughts, Tamashii-chan…  Why so depressed?*  He gasped, startled.  Aishuu's superior way of speaking drifted in his mind.  *I wouldn't want you to suffer anymore, don't you know that?*

                "Why do you care?  You're supposed to be a insane demon who wants to kill everyone!   You're not supposed to care at all about me…  No one is…"  He sighed again, wondering if Aishuu would take him seriously.  He actually liked the presence of the aloof demon spirit, it made him feel protected. 

                *What makes you say that?*  Aishuu wanted to frown.  Why was his body so depressed?  *Are you worrying about that…thing…that you like?*  Aishuu mentally wrung her neck. 

                Don't call her a thing…  She's an angel!!  I love her…  Aishuu sighed.  Then quietly, so Takato couldn't hear:

                *Ah, Tamashii-chan, don't you know how much I care for you…?  It's hurting me, you know, to see you suffer so willingly…  Is this what humans call despair?  Such a sad feeling…*

                Takato dreamily stared into the distance.  I'm so alone…  I've got no friends, my family's away, and the only company I've got are mere illusions of myself.  But I suppose part-humans aren't supposed to have friends.  It's destiny to be alone…  I hate fate and destiny.

                *So do I…  It rules you, doesn't it, my dear Tamashii-chan?*  Aishuu wondered if he should take control again. He decided against it.  He would let his dear Tamashii rest before he was forced to take part in Aishuu's schemes. 

                I should go inside.  But I like it out here.  Nobody is hurting me.  No one is getting hurt by me either.  Even though I feel pain.  I still want company, though. 

                *How cruel…  You don't like my company.* 

                I do.  It's just that you aren't the same as a whole, living person to talk to.  You're really just an element of me, you know, maybe a dark incarnate of my soul? 

                *You've got a dangerous imagination, Tamashii-chan.*