A/N – Do people really not like my stories? I got a horrible e-mail earlier… I'm sorry… I could always stop writing in the Digimon section..
Chapter Nineteen: What am I, really?
Primary colors
Our feelings are still primary colors
Afraid of believing in each other
Primary colors
Everything is up to our future selves
When we overlap each other
We'll be brilliantly expanding colors
~3 Primary Colors
Am I truly destined to be alone? Is that the life I am doomed to have? It seems like such a sad way to live… But it must be the life meant for me. If that is so, I am ready.
I don't understand myself anymore. It's as if I'm just watching myself, like I'm another person now. I'm scared… I don't like this, not one little bit. I don't think that's right, these happenings… Yami and Akari said they were in control of me before… Maybe that was them saying all those nice things, and being brave and strong. Maybe I was always just watching them.
Is this how my soul really is? Is this now the real me? I'm afraid… I don't like this life. I can't describe myself. Is that a bad sign? Is the real me a depressing boy with dark eyes and a cold heart? Is the real me a simple fool with pathetic dreams? Am I really a weak, usable being? Is that the real me? What am I, really?
The more I feel not human, the more I look down on them. They puzzle and frustrate me. Feelings are so chaotic, and they can hurt people! They're all different, some care, some don't, some are so cold, it hurts… They're so biased, they even bias one another! How silly! I would be looked down upon in their society.
Maybe sometimes I can see Aishuu's point in killing all of these humans. They can be so…I dunno…idiotic! They say Digimon believe in violence, but what do they do? They can be just as ruthless when it comes down to it! How stupid humans are…
I've never really investigated my body. I probably have many secrets inside of me. I do not care to see them. They will only make things worse, somehow…