Authors Note: Sorry about the prologue and all the mistakes in it. I was half asleep when I wrote it and I wasn't focusing. That's why it's so crap. Oh, and it anyone cares, Spike was turned in 1880 and had been a vampire for twenty years before he killed his first slayer. And Dru was turned in 1860, if anyone cares.

Chapter Two

Denial

By Son Of Evil

I felt like I was coming out of a deep sleep. I couldn't focus at first. I felt strange. Wait. I wasn't in my room. I was lying on something hard and cold. It felt like a slap of concrete. I was confused. Where was I?

There was something nagging at me on the tip of my brain. An urge. It was strange. I didn't know what it was, but I couldn't ignore it. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't.

Suddenly I bolted upright. All I felt was pain. I felt like I was on fire! A ragged scream nearly tore my throat apart, but it came out wrong. It sounded like the roar of a wild animal.

I started gasping for breath, but every time I drew air into my lungs it felt like they were being slashed to pieces.

I couldn't breath! I felt panic surge through me. I couldn't breath! I was going to suffocate! I heard roaring. I looked around franticly, searching for the animal. I was sure it was going to eat me.

Then, with a shock, I realised it was me. That only added to my panic.

Out of nowhere a pair of pale arms wrapped around my torso and dragged me backwards and crushed me against a man's naked chest. It felt hard and muscular. I instantly felt calmer. I can't explain it exactly, but I felt a strange kinda . . ., I dunno, some kind of bond. A link.

It was instinctive. You know like baby animals in those wildlife documentaries where from the second they're, born, hatched, whatever, they knew who they're parents are? It was like that. Not exactly, but it's the only way I can think to explain.

The man made soothing noises and stroked my hair lovingly and I relaxed into his embrace. I felt safe. Content. Like I belonged here, with him. Then my conscious mind snapped back.

"GET OFFA ME, YOU FREAK!" I yelled, practically leaping out of him arms. I backed away and bumped into something. Actually, someone.

I jerked back like I'd been burnt and whirled around. I came face to face with a guy who looked like the black version of the Incredible Hulk. The guy must have some kind of weight lifting addiction. He looked like he was made up of pure muscle. Hell, on his arms alone nearly every one of his biceps was size of a bowling ball.

There was something wrong with his face. His eyes gleamed amber and he grinned at me, showing me his teeth. Fangs! Just like . . . JUST LIKE THE PSYCO THAT'D BIT ME!!!!!

I heard a noise behind me and whipped around. They were all around me! And all of them had the same deformed faces. Again I got that weird feeling. That I belonged with them. I shrugged it off. I tried to figure out where these feelings were coming from.

'They must have me on some kind of drug,' I thought. I backed into a wall. I counted twenty of them. They were both men and women, a mix of black, white and Asian. An' I think one of 'em was a Hindu.

'They must be some kind of cult,' I thought. 'They've all had plastic surgery done to them.' Then I got a real scary thought. 'Shit, are they bloody Satanist's?! Oh God, they're not gonna kill me are they?!!' Great! Wonderful! Just my fuckin' luck! Out of all the ways to go home, I pick a pitch black park. What am I, a bloody retard!?

The black man I'd bumped into looked at the one who'd bit me. Memories rushed back to me. I remembered what had happened.

"This is a pleasant change," the black man said. He had a thick foreign accent as well. Not like the other one, I mean it was easily to tell they weren't from the same country, but that was about it.

"Indeed," the other one said. He looked at me. "Most newly arisen are completely animal like when they fist arise. It is rare for one to have achieved such a grip on sanity so quickly."

I was nervous (the understatement of all time!) and I bit my bottom lit. Something went right through it. "AAHHHH!!" I yelled. Again, it came out like an animal. My hands flew to my mouth. Fangs! One hand stayed on my mouth, and the other slowly reached up to my forehead. It was lumpy.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU FREAKS DO TO ME!?!" I yelled. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. But not because I was scared they'd attack me or anything.

More like when you're arguing with someone you really care about and you say something that really hurts them and you wanna take it back 'cos you don't wanna hurt them.

Again, I tried too shrug the feeling off. It didn't go away. The one who'd bit me (its getting really annoying typing that) walked a little towards me.

"We . . . or should I say I . . . have made you into a vampire."

"There's no such thing as vampires."

The whole place roared with laughter. That just pissed me off. "I want this stuff of my face. Now!"

"If you don't like, get rid of it." His face changed again, back to a normal face.

"H-how . . .?" I stuttered.

"I'll tell you after dinner."

"Dinner?"

"Bring him!" He called. A man that looked like he was in his mid forties was thrown to the floor by our feet.

He was shaking with fear. "P-p-please d-don't hu-urt me." My eyes latched onto his neck. Or more precisely, his jugular. I could see the blood rushing through it. I could hear his heart, beating franticly. Something washed over me, a desperate need for his blood. "Oh God, please don't hurt m . . ."

Before he could finish I was on him. I ripped him off the floor. He felt like he was weightless, and before the guy could even get a chance to scream, I'd plunged my fangs into his neck.

It was wonderful! The sensations! God, how can I describe the utter pleasure of it? The hot blood rushing into my mouth, the metallic, copper, almost artificial taste of it! Somehow, it was better than anything I'd ever had before. It was erotic, sensational, and so much more! I can't even describe it! I closed my eyes and lost myself in the almost orgasmic pleasure of it.

I don't know how long it lasted. It could have been seconds; it could have been hours. At least, that's what it felt like. In reality it was probably only about a minute.

I drained the last bit of blood out of him and let him fall to the floor.

I stood there and let the blood rush through my body. I felt . . . amazing! Powerful. Stronger than I'd ever felt before.

I looked down at the body. I waited to feel the horror, the shame, the disgust . . . nothing. I looked at the man, and I didn't care that I'd killed him. He was just food.

Even after that, there was still a lingering doubt. A part of me still refused to accept, still believed they'd drugged me. 'Course, denial's a funny thing. Theirs no logic to it. It no's no bounds.

Thought I guess it could all just be a dream. That did seem the most likely thing, but it didn't feel like a dream.

"Did you enjoy that?" I looked up into the eyes of the man who claimed to have made me. I guessed that was why I felt like I did towards him. It must be some kind of parent/child instinct thing.

I nodded. He laughed. "My name is Glazzior. I am your sire. I am also your master." His eyes flashed yellow when he said the word master. I knew what he was saying. I was his weather I liked it or not.

He looked at me like he wanted a response. I just nodded. He seemed satisfied with that.

Now, don't get me wrong. I mean, I'm not a wimp. Usually I would a' kicked the shit out of someone if the said they were my master, but come on! He was a fucking vampire! One day they were only in books and movies, and the next I am one. What was I supposed to do? I was way outta my dept. An' that bloody bond thingy. I felt loyalty to him. Though, truthfully, if it came to a choice between me an' him, I'd choose me bond or no bond.

He waved a hand at the black man. "This is Amadeus. If you see anything unusual or learn of anything that may endanger us, you will tell him immediately." He locked eyes with me. "We are you're family now, child. Do you understand?" I nodded. He smiled. "Good."

Glazzior walked through the crowd of vampires, Amadeus right behind him. Everyone parted way for them. "Come," Glazzior said over him shoulder. For some reason, I hadn't really looked around till then.

I saw that we were in some kind of underground tunnel. The walls, floor and ceiling were made up of dirt.

Turns out it was more of a hole in the ground than a tunnel. We walked about ten meters and we were at the end of it. There was a ladder that led upwards. I guessed it was to the street or something.

Glazzior went up it first, then Amadeus right behind him. I watched them go up it in amazement. You how with humans they take one careful step at a time? There was none of that with these two.

They flowed gracefully up it, practly flew; graceful and powerful. They were like liquid metal.

It was really amazing watching Amadeus. It just didn't seem possible that someone his size could make his body just flow like that.

I slowly put my hand on it, feeling really (really really really really really . . .) self-conscious. I looked up and saw a white marble roof above the hole. I put a foot on one of the steps and hesitated.

"Get a move on," one of the vampires said. I looked around, supprised at the accent. Though given what country we were in, I guess that was pretty stupid.

"You're English." Judging from his accent, I'd say he was from down south. London, Surrey, somewhere near there.

"Brilliant observation, Sherlock. Names Jax." He put his arms around two other vampires, a man and a woman. "This 'ears me two best mates. Their Americans, but don't hold it against 'em. It's not their fault."

"What did you say?!" The woman growled.

"England's the biggest shit hole on the planet," the man said.

I tensed at that. They didn't notice.

I watched them argue about which country was better, then let my mind drift a bit. I wasn't really thinking, just feeling. But I didn't like what I was feeling, so I focused on the argument again.

"Americas a nation of gun-nuts, gangsters, alcoholics, junkies, whores . . ." Jax trailed off. "I've changed my mind. Americas great!"

The woman stepped up to him and growled. "Say that again, Jax. I dare you."

"Hey, hey." Jax said. He backed up. I couldn't be sure, but I think I heard a bit of fear in his voice. "I was just winding you up. You know me, I wasn't being serious."

The man looked at me. "What do you think of the good old U.S. of A, kid?"

I thought about it. "It looks pretty cool I guess. I've actually always wanted too see the Statue of Liberty."

He smiled, and was about to say something, then stopped. I was about to ask 'im what he was gonna say, when someone put a hand (about the size of a gorilla) on my shoulder.

I turned my head around and looked up at a very pissed off looking Amadeus.

He had his human face on. I got a good look at him, and saw that he wasn't a bad looking bloke. Not that I'm gay or anything. I mean, I think tigers are beautiful: doesn't mean I wanna go stick me dick up them.

And if there are any gay/bi people who are offended by what I just said, don't be. I don't give a fuck if you're straight, gay, bi,

whatever. I actually used to have a gay friend back when I was human. 'Is name was Alex, real nice lad. Unfortunately, the kids at school found out 'an made his life hell.

But, he was a mate so I stood up for 'im. After about a week, no one picked on him again cos they were too scared what I'd do to 'em. Happy memories. Not that I'm bragging or anything. ( y'know, I can practically see you mutterings 'yeah right' )

Anyway, back to the story.

Amadeus was looking at me like he was seriously considerin' ripping me dick off 'an feedin' it to me.

"It is not wise too keep us waiting," he said.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, and looked at the ground. I got this feeling off him, like he was dangerous. On some kind of instinctive level I just knew he was stronger than me, faster than me, 'an so on. I found out later that I was feeling his age, his power. I could feel that he was stronger than the average vamp. He'd been around for centuries. He was a master.

'Course, I didn't know that at the time. All I knew was: I was bad, he was badder.

He turned and went back up the ladder, 'an I was right behind him. I wasn't about to get on his bad side. 'An if a guy like him wasn't in charge, I didn't even wanna THINK about getting on Glazzior's bad side.

So anyway, I flew up the ladder. It was amazing! The way my body just swept effetsosly up the ladder with cat-like grace. It was bloody incredible!

I reached the top of the ladder, an' found myself in a small tome. There was even a coffin in it.

"So vampires really do hang in cemeteries," I muttered. "Thought that was just in the movies. Would it kill them to get a flippin' hotel or something?"

I walked outside, spotted Glazzior and walked up to him.

He glanced down at me, smirked, and looked back across the cemetery.

"Busy?" he asked.

"I was talkin' t' Jax an' these two American vamps," I said truthfully.

"Ah yes. Jax, Lilly and Slasher."

I sniggered. "How'd 'e get a geeky name like Slasher?"

"He is very fond of sharp objects."

"Oh."

Glazzior turned around after a few seconds and looked at me. "We must do something about the way you speak."

I raised an eyebrow. "Care t' run that by me again, mate?"

"Your accent, the way you pronounce your words. You sound like a common street urchin."

I crossed my arms over my chest an' gave 'im a death glare. "Can't help the way I was raised."

"I suppose. On another note, we need a name for you. Can't call you boy for the rest of eternity now can we?"

"My names Mathew," I said.

"Not anymore. The human Mathew is dead. You have been reborn. You need a new name, it is the same for every vampire."

"Oh. Okay."

He put his thumb and index finger on my chin and turned my head directly towards him. His eyes burned into mine. I felt like he was looking through me.

"You still do not believe what is happening to you, do you?" Glazzior asked softly. I didn't answer. "You have the look of a man who will accept anything and everything he sees, for the simple reason that he is expecting to wake up."

I took a step back and turned my back to him. "Maybe I am," I said softly.

Neither of us said anything for a few moments. "So vampires really hang out in graveyards, huh?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Some of us."

"I don't have to sleep in a coffin do I?" I asked, not sure I wanted an answer.

Glazzior laughed. "No, child. I own a block of flats in Nottingham."

I was supprised at that. Don't know why, I just was. "Are we in Nottingham now?" I asked.

"No. We are still in your home town."

"Oh." My home town was about 13-15 miles from Nottingham. "Why aren't you there now? Godda be easier to get a good kill in a city than in a small town."

"The city is always busy and so loud and polluted. I fancied a change. A bit of piece and quiet."

"Oh." I seemed to be saying that a lot tonight.

"Now, about you're name." Glazzior looked at me like he was deep in thought.

Suddenly there was a noise behind us. "Caw!"

We whirled around. On the top of the tome we'd come from was a big black bird glaring at us.

Glazzior walked up to me an' put a hand on my shoulder. "As good a name as any I suppose. I shall call you Raven."

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Like it? Hope so. I'm sorry it took so long to update. My dad died and I've been trying to deal with that.

Anyway, next chapter, Glazzior tells Raven why he turned him. Please review.