Lunchtime is Not for Sissies

"Okay before I leave let's go over the rules," Althea looked at her sisters. "And what are they?"

"Listen to Scott and Jean and do what they tell us to," Brittany said.

"Do not set them on fire," Daria said.

"Do not set the mansion on fire," Quinn said. "Do not steal, break or sell anything valuable on E-Bay from the mansion."

"Do not use Scott and Jean for medical or scientific experiments," Daria said.

"No maiming," Brittany said. "Be clean and neat. If we destroy something we clean it up."

"We are not allowed to run the Danger Room or touch any weapons," Daria said. "Even if we make them."

"Do not ask Scott and Jean any embarrassing questions about their love life," Quinn said.

"And?" Althea asked.

"And be nice to the babies and Polly," The triplets said as one.

"Polly?" Jean asked.

"AWK! The one and only!" Polly the parrot flew in and landed on Jean's head. "Lucy I'm home!"

"We have to watch the parrot too?" Scott groaned. "Oh great!"

"Look at it this way Summers," Todd grinned. "Think of it as practice for a family of your own someday."

"Wonderful," Jean waved Polly off her head before she took Claudius. "Not quite the family I had in mind."

"No one gets the family they had in mind," Althea pointed out as she handed Scott Barney. "Now here's a small list of things you need to know." She pulled out several sheets of paper. "Cell phone numbers for emergencies, some more dos and don'ts, bedtime schedules…"

"Don't forget the parrot's medication," Todd handed Scott a container with several pills. "And uh here's some tranquilizers if you need to use them on the triplets."

"The dart guns are in the green bag," Althea told them. "Also there's a list of things to do if the babies constantly cry. Give them five minutes to calm down and if that doesn't work check the list. Everything you need for that is in the big blue bag. Also don't let Barney eat any worms. He's starting to develop a fascination for bugs and personally I'd like to nip that in the bud!"

"Also don't say the M-Word around Little C if you can help it," Todd told them. "You know the one that rhymes with Not-So-Neato?"

"Not so…" Scott blinked. "Oh you mean Mag…"

Todd slapped his hand on Scott's mouth. "I told you not to say that!" He said exasperated. "He's still scared of him. Gives him nightmares."

"Speaking of nightmares don't let the Triplets have too much sugar," Althea told them. "And don't let Polly drink any alcohol. He just got out of rehab. Again!"

"Well have fun you two!" Todd waved. "Now all of you be good for Uncle Scooter and Auntie Jean."

"Bye bye!" The Triplets waved.

"Bye bye…" The Babies waved too.

"Sayonara! Aloha! Shalom!" Polly cackled.

"Goodbye," Althea waved. She then whispered to Todd as they left. "Do you think they'll make it?"

"Five will get you ten they won't last the night," Todd snickered.

As soon as they left the babies started to bawl. The triplets started to chase each other and Polly flew around squawking. "Polly has a craving! Polly wants some booze!"

"Hey girls! Girls stop it!" Jean shouted.

"Well this is going to be a fun weekend," Scott said sarcastically. "Watching over three hyper girls, two cranky babies and an insane animal!"

"Two animals," Jean pointed to Lockheed sleeping on the sofa. He was woken up by the Triplet's racket and started yapping. He also accidentally set a plant on fire.

"Wonderful," Scott grumbled. "Maybe we should have just let Kitty drive us. Death would have been a lot quicker!"

************************************************************************

"Well it's a good thing it was a small fire," Jean sighed as she walked into the kitchen. "How's lunch coming?"

"The triplets will eat anything," Scott groaned. He was covered in applesauce and strained carrots. "Too bad I can't say the same for these two! Do you have any idea how hard it is to spoon feed someone with a beak?"

"What are the girls eating?" Jean looked at the girls wolfing down their food.

"Trust me, you do not want to ask," Scott groaned as he tried to feed Claudius again. "Okay kiddo, open wide."

"What are you eating?" Jean asked.

"I'm having a peanut butter and sushi sandwich!" Quinn grinned.

"I'm having a peanut butter, squash, banana, strawberry sandwich with chocolate sauce and pickles!" Brittany said.

"And I'm having…" Daria grinned.

"STOP!" Jean held her hand up and then pinched the front of her nose. "Never mind."

"Can't say I didn't warn you," Scott said. "Well I think I got at least something in his mouth." Then Claudius spat up on him. "For a minute."

"Well they did eat a lot of animal crackers before they got here," Daria said.

"They snuck them when Sis wasn't looking," Brittany said.

"They're sneaky!" Quinn nodded. "All done!"

"May we play outside?" Daria asked.

"Well okay," Jean sighed. "But behave yourselves!"

"Okay!" The triplets ran outside happily.

"Good thing we used paper plates and cups," Jean sighed as she cleaned up. "Scott I don't think that they're gonna eat any more."

"Yeah I think it's pretty much a lost cause," Scott sighed as he removed their bibs and wiped the excess food off of their faces. He then picked them up. "Okay I'm gonna take these two outside. Somebody needs to watch the little maniacs."

"Good idea," Jean used her telekinesis to finish cleaning up. "Who knows what those three could…." She heard and explosion. "Get up to…"

"Maybe we'd both better go," Scott sighed. They went out and saw the Triplets flying around zapping the hidden laser cannons on the ground.

"What the…?" Scott handed the babies to Jean and helped blast two of them. However the triplets managed to destroy the rest easily with their new powers. "Okay how did you three manage to do this?"

"It wasn't our fault," Brittany put on her most innocent face. "They attacked us! I don't know what happened!"

Scott looked over and saw some exposed wires from a control panel on the side of the mansion. "I think I have an idea." He went over to try and fix it.

"You really shouldn't have lasers in your back yard," Daria said.

"Yeah it's really irresponsible of you," Quinn said. "Somebody could get hurt."

"Girls," Jean sighed as she put the squirming babies down. "You can't just play with wiring!"

"Why not?" Brittany asked. "Our daddy does it all the time."

"Yeah electric shocks are fun!" Quinn said.

"No they are not!" Scott snapped. "I don't believe it! You totaled the entire security system in what…two minutes? How do you do it?"

"It's a gift," Daria said. "By the way, Beaky's eating worms." She pointed to see that Barney had found some crawly worms on the ground and was pecking at them.

"Barney! No! No!" Jean shouted. "Don't put that in your mouth! Oh gross! That is so disgusting!"

"Barney spit that worm out right now!" Scott picked him up and tried to get it out.

"I don't know why you guys are so surprised," Brittany remarked. "He is part bird you know?"

"He has a bird like mutation dummy!" Daria slapped her sister on the head. "He's not actually part bird! There is a difference."

"Well we don't know who his parents were," Quinn said. "Maybe they were part bird?"

"Barney! No! No worms!" Scott managed to pull it out of his mouth. "Oh great, now you're hungry!"

"Claudius get out of the pool!" Jean screamed.

"What are you worried about?" Quinn asked. "He has gills! He can't drown!"

"This is gonna be harder than I thought," Scott sniffed. "What's that smell?" He then realized what it was. "Oh man…"