"August 21, 2003 - 6:13 AM
My life could not possibly get any worse. Just when I think I can't lose anything else that means a lot to me, I do. That's right. Dimitri broke up with me. He has Clara Judge now. She always liked him, and was always plotting to steal him from me, and now she has. I'm so miserable here.
I always used to dream about getting off of Cape Cod. I thought it was so boring, so mundane. But now I would give anything to have my old life back. I miss that so much. It's so hard living with the McGuires. Sure, they're nice and all, but I just can't get used to the idea that Jo and Sam are my new mother and father. I guess I don't really need to consider them that, but that's what they seem me to think.
Lizzie is another story. She reminds me so much of Jackie. That girl and I were best friends forever, and now I'll probably never see her again either. But anyways, Lizzie is like a blonde version of Jax, only a little more superficial. Jackie didn't care about hair and make up and popularity the way that Lizzie does. But still, it's hard not to feel close to her. She's just so warm and friendly. I can't help but want to figure out everything about her and really get to know her.
Matt doesn't really ever talk to me. I think he's really nervous about junior high, and I thought I heard him telling his parents that his best friends had started dating. That has to be hard. I know that it was really hard on Jax when Dimitri and I started dating. But we made sure that we never made her feel like a third wheel, and I personally did my best to spend just as much time with her as I did with Dimitri. I hope that's what Matt's friends do. That kid reminds me so much of Dad, even though they aren't blood related, since Mom is Aunt Jo's sister. He has the same attitude: always joking around, but lurking underneath it is a really serious person. He reminds me of Dad so much that sometimes it's hard to even look at him.
And Lizzie's friends. Well, Gordo seems really nice. We met yesterday at a coffee shop. He seemed a little preoccupied the whole time we were there, though. I wonder what's going on with him. I never got to meet Lizzie's other best friend, Miranda, since she moved to Australia a couple days after I got here. Lizzie is really torn up about her being gone. She's worried about going to high school and not having both of her best friends to help her through everything. And I think she's worried that I won't be willing to help her with anything.
High school. I'm going to be starting my sophomore year in high school in three days, at Hillridge Central. Not Cape Cod High, but Hillridge Central. So I might as well be a freshman, since I won't know where I am, who any of the teachers are, and I only know two other people going there.
I really miss Dimitri. I really miss Mom and Dad. I really miss my old life."
Silently rereading what she had just wrote in her journal, she realized that tears were streaming down her face, plopping lightly onto the pages and smudging the writing. She wiped her face with her palm and shut the book, placing it in the drawer of the table next to her bed. She got out from underneath the covers of her bed and grabbed her things to take a shower. Walking upstairs quietly, she noticed that she was the only one in the house who was awake. She took a quick shower, changing into faded jeans and a white short sleeve shirt. The jeans had paint splatters all over them, and the right knee was ripped. The t-shirt had a black design of a dragon on it, with the words "Chinatown, New York" on it on black angular writing. Rolling up the sleeves of the t-shirt, she gathered her things to bring them back down to her room. She walked down two flights of stairs, and dropped everything on her bed. Still rubbing sleep from her eyes, she reached onto her bureau for her comb, running it through her curly brown hair.
She finished combing her hair, and pulled it into a loose braid, some small pieces falling out and dancing around her face. Reaching into one of the only boxes she had not finished unpacking, she retrieved her painting supplies: paints, brushes, and palettes. The walls of her room were very different from when she had moved in. She had already painted the area around her closet, in a starry skied motif, with the moon creeping out behind misty clouds. The wall behind her bed held some of her favorite paintings in frames; one was a portrait she had done of her mother and father, the second was a fantasy piece she had titled 'Escape,' and the third was a painting of the Cape Cod Canal at sunset. Around these paintings, she had already decorated the wall with faux frames and line and dot designs. (**Quick A/N: I hate it when people do this, but I think this is necessary: Her room is an L-shape, so she has six walls.) The wall across from her closet was painted like the insert of her favorite soundtrack, Moulin Rouge. A blue-gray earth was wrapped with a golden brown ribbon inscribed with the words "A Bohemian Storm Is Brewing." Around the earth, four smaller drawings showed the four things bohemians believed in above all else: truth, beauty, freedom and love. An elephant stood on a ribbon bearing TRUTH, a star was draped in a ribbon bearing BEAUTY, a woman danced below a ribbon bearing FREEDOM, and a heart was encompassed by a ribbon bearing LOVE. The entire background of this wall was a warm tan color.
She now turned to the wall that bordered both her sleeping area and her sitting area. She had decided on painting a seascape that would transgress the entire wall. Getting to work, she first removed the photograph board she had put up. Looking at is closely, she ripped all the pictures of Dimitri from it. She accidentally dislodged the McGuires' Christmas photo card. Picking it up, she studied the whole family. Her eyes reviewed each member in turn, stopping on Matt's face. Matt, so much like her father. Matt, her only physical reminder of her past life.
My life could not possibly get any worse. Just when I think I can't lose anything else that means a lot to me, I do. That's right. Dimitri broke up with me. He has Clara Judge now. She always liked him, and was always plotting to steal him from me, and now she has. I'm so miserable here.
I always used to dream about getting off of Cape Cod. I thought it was so boring, so mundane. But now I would give anything to have my old life back. I miss that so much. It's so hard living with the McGuires. Sure, they're nice and all, but I just can't get used to the idea that Jo and Sam are my new mother and father. I guess I don't really need to consider them that, but that's what they seem me to think.
Lizzie is another story. She reminds me so much of Jackie. That girl and I were best friends forever, and now I'll probably never see her again either. But anyways, Lizzie is like a blonde version of Jax, only a little more superficial. Jackie didn't care about hair and make up and popularity the way that Lizzie does. But still, it's hard not to feel close to her. She's just so warm and friendly. I can't help but want to figure out everything about her and really get to know her.
Matt doesn't really ever talk to me. I think he's really nervous about junior high, and I thought I heard him telling his parents that his best friends had started dating. That has to be hard. I know that it was really hard on Jax when Dimitri and I started dating. But we made sure that we never made her feel like a third wheel, and I personally did my best to spend just as much time with her as I did with Dimitri. I hope that's what Matt's friends do. That kid reminds me so much of Dad, even though they aren't blood related, since Mom is Aunt Jo's sister. He has the same attitude: always joking around, but lurking underneath it is a really serious person. He reminds me of Dad so much that sometimes it's hard to even look at him.
And Lizzie's friends. Well, Gordo seems really nice. We met yesterday at a coffee shop. He seemed a little preoccupied the whole time we were there, though. I wonder what's going on with him. I never got to meet Lizzie's other best friend, Miranda, since she moved to Australia a couple days after I got here. Lizzie is really torn up about her being gone. She's worried about going to high school and not having both of her best friends to help her through everything. And I think she's worried that I won't be willing to help her with anything.
High school. I'm going to be starting my sophomore year in high school in three days, at Hillridge Central. Not Cape Cod High, but Hillridge Central. So I might as well be a freshman, since I won't know where I am, who any of the teachers are, and I only know two other people going there.
I really miss Dimitri. I really miss Mom and Dad. I really miss my old life."
Silently rereading what she had just wrote in her journal, she realized that tears were streaming down her face, plopping lightly onto the pages and smudging the writing. She wiped her face with her palm and shut the book, placing it in the drawer of the table next to her bed. She got out from underneath the covers of her bed and grabbed her things to take a shower. Walking upstairs quietly, she noticed that she was the only one in the house who was awake. She took a quick shower, changing into faded jeans and a white short sleeve shirt. The jeans had paint splatters all over them, and the right knee was ripped. The t-shirt had a black design of a dragon on it, with the words "Chinatown, New York" on it on black angular writing. Rolling up the sleeves of the t-shirt, she gathered her things to bring them back down to her room. She walked down two flights of stairs, and dropped everything on her bed. Still rubbing sleep from her eyes, she reached onto her bureau for her comb, running it through her curly brown hair.
She finished combing her hair, and pulled it into a loose braid, some small pieces falling out and dancing around her face. Reaching into one of the only boxes she had not finished unpacking, she retrieved her painting supplies: paints, brushes, and palettes. The walls of her room were very different from when she had moved in. She had already painted the area around her closet, in a starry skied motif, with the moon creeping out behind misty clouds. The wall behind her bed held some of her favorite paintings in frames; one was a portrait she had done of her mother and father, the second was a fantasy piece she had titled 'Escape,' and the third was a painting of the Cape Cod Canal at sunset. Around these paintings, she had already decorated the wall with faux frames and line and dot designs. (**Quick A/N: I hate it when people do this, but I think this is necessary: Her room is an L-shape, so she has six walls.) The wall across from her closet was painted like the insert of her favorite soundtrack, Moulin Rouge. A blue-gray earth was wrapped with a golden brown ribbon inscribed with the words "A Bohemian Storm Is Brewing." Around the earth, four smaller drawings showed the four things bohemians believed in above all else: truth, beauty, freedom and love. An elephant stood on a ribbon bearing TRUTH, a star was draped in a ribbon bearing BEAUTY, a woman danced below a ribbon bearing FREEDOM, and a heart was encompassed by a ribbon bearing LOVE. The entire background of this wall was a warm tan color.
She now turned to the wall that bordered both her sleeping area and her sitting area. She had decided on painting a seascape that would transgress the entire wall. Getting to work, she first removed the photograph board she had put up. Looking at is closely, she ripped all the pictures of Dimitri from it. She accidentally dislodged the McGuires' Christmas photo card. Picking it up, she studied the whole family. Her eyes reviewed each member in turn, stopping on Matt's face. Matt, so much like her father. Matt, her only physical reminder of her past life.