Title: Crystal Tears

Chapter Title: Prologue

Author: Noeleen a.k.a. ff-mistress (boyish_temptress_05@yahoo.com)

Website:  

Rating: PG-13 to R

Pairings:  Hisoka x Illumi ::: Hisoka x ?

Summary: Crystal tears shall flow and inevitable heartbreak shall soon follow. Regret does come late. And when it does come, the things you did, however, can never be reared backward. HisokaxIllumi yaoi.

Time Line: After the Geneiryodan incident, go figure it out yourself, as far as I know HxH wasn't finished on anime. I never did check out the manga.

Genre: Yaoi.

Warning: Unintended spoilers and OOCness.

Disclaimer: I do not own the adorably lunatic clown Hisoka, nor the drool-worthy and ever gorgeous Illumi. But Yoshihiro Togashi does. No money gained. 

Useless Notes: Gaah. I really am crazy about Hisoka and Illumi now. Thanks to Cherrie and Nikki. *sighs* Cherrie I read ALL of your fics, they're friggin' great, mind you. Anyway, I'm a Filipina, 14-year-old, so don't be surprised about the wrong grammar. This isn't my first try for Hisoka X Illumi, but I think those were all immature not to mention lame. ^^; Anyway I am part of different yaoi fandom. Slam Dunk (HanaRu, MitKo, SenKosh), Saiyuki (Gojyo x Hakkai), HxH (Hisoka x Illumi), and Harry Potter (Draco/Harry). Enough with the rants ^^!

CRYSTAL TEARS

Prologue

Red strands of hair flowed carelessly with the night's chill, knuckles were already white as they were clenched ever so tightly while inevitable shivers ran down his spine and whether if it was caused by the cold or the anger that was burning inside him, he'll never know. "So that's it, we're through?" he asked. He had never heard his own voice sound so cold and distant, like the way he was feeling right at the moment. He stared at the silhouette standing and staring over the oblivion outside the window, he waited for a response, for a flinch, for any indication that the other was listening to him, but none came.

"No parting words? No goodbye kiss, even?" he asked sarcastically. His hand running in the thickness of his crimson hair in frustration, jaw flexing ever so slightly as he willed himself to walk out of the damned room right at that instant, before he do something he'll surely regret.

Though he had seen this coming, he was never ready to face it and know that it came he had no other choice but to get hurt. Damn. Since when was somebody capable of hurting him this way? He wasn't supposed to be hurt, he was Hisoka for cryin' out loud. Now, if only he could just convince that part of him that was betraying what his mind was dictating. Maybe then everything will be back to norm.

The figure turned slowly, long raven hair fluttered in the air; ink black eyes were deprived of any trace of emotion as he fixed the magician an empty stare. "Are you quite through?" was his only response.  But that wasn't what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell the other, that what he said was only a lie. That he wanted him to stay. "…leave…" it was a command. He was careful enough not to let an emotion pass on his face; he was an assassin and was trained to do so. He needed to get rid of the magician; he needed to be himself again.

You can't live without him! You won't, you can't and you allowed him to be a part of you!

He'll prove his father wrong; he'll prove all of them wrong. He can live without Hisoka. He can live alone and he needed no one. No one. Black eyes became even colder if that was even possible, determination burying his needs deep beneath. His decision was made, and none can change it.

So that's it, throw away the fucking two years? Well fuck him. If that's what he wants, then two can play the game. Then suddenly a chuckle echoed all through out, sounding eerie since the room was almost mute, chuckles that soon broke out in fits of laughter. The crimson haired magician filled the room with infuriating mirth while the ebony-haired assassin remained stubbornly silent.

It was useless to dwell on a rejection. If the assassin didn't want him so be it. For the first time in his life he was finally giving up, but no one can blame him, he was already tired, so fucking tired of chasing someone who didn't ever want to be caught.

Its time to move on, he was not Hisoka, if he'll let a thing like this ruin him. "Bye, then." He said. Smiling cheekily at the assassin as he turned around then started walking towards the door, not missing the fact that his footsteps were getting heavier as he moved closer and closer to the door. And when his hand finally reached the cold knob, he gave a final brief glance at the assassin, the very same one whom gave him a number of rejections that he already lost count.

"Thanks for the free screw, anyhow." He chuckled and didn't wait for the assassin's reaction; so then he waved a dismissing hand and only then did he finally walk out of the room. By doing it, he knew that Illumi wasn't his anymore, and that the other also had cut any hold he had to him. Both of them were free again.

He didn't know where his feet were taking him; he had nowhere to go now because Illumi was his home. WAS.  Yeah, was. Such a little word yet such huge impact. He was aimless again, back to whom he was. Maybe he needed to kill someone. He needed to hear someone scream in agony, just like the way he was feeling right now, to soak his hands in blood, to take someone's life away, like Illumi did to him. There's a lot of time for that later. But for now he needed a place to spend the night away, but the last thing he wanted was to check-in in a hotel, he didn't want to lay down on a big empty bed.

The tree seems really inviting though. He didn't waste another second and swiftly jumped over a large tree branch, leaning comfortably against it, wanting sleep to take over him. But life sure is cruel because as soon as his eyes drifted close, he met raven-coloured cat eyes startling him into consciousness. He needed to sleep. Needed to get the damned assassin out of his mind, out of his skin.

He pulled the tranquilizer out his pocket. If he can't reach sleep, he'll let sleep come to him willingly. The needle of the syringe glinted through the darkness as it was soon pushed against his flesh, the fluid that he made himself, flowing slowly and yet surely through his veins, lulling his system to the slumber he badly needed.

He let himself fall out of the  tree branch not a bit concerned of suffering broken bones which he doubted if he would even have, but then he landed on something adequately soft. And before he could let oblivion take him he heard a soft voice whisper against his ear. "I found you…"

******

He stood transfixed at the same area, he lost track of time, not sure just how long he was standing on that very same spot, his black eyes looking straight on the closed door, the sound of that very same door closing with a softest click was deafening as it echoed over and over again inside his ears. This wasn't what he expected; it was far from it. He thought Hisoka would put up a fight, demand for an explanation, the last thing he thought he would do was walking out laughing.

"Bye, then." Hisoka had said while smiling cheekily.

The proud stance and the ever gracefulness he had earlier, slowly faltered, finally collapsing on his knees and onto the floor. Why is he so upset now? He succeeded on pushing the magician away, didn't he? This was what he wanted, was it not? Did Hisoka wanted to rid of him too? Why did he look so happy, leaving? Those question were left unanswered, because the fact that the only person who is capable of reciprocating his questions, was now gone.

Hisoka's gone. He's gone. Hisoka's gone. And now the fact was bare, he's alone. Alone…

Do you ever get the feeling that your heart clenches so tightly it hurts? How about sharp nails clawing on it 'till it was raw. That was what he was feeling right now. And then he did something he thought he'd never let himself do again. He wept. He crouched into a tight ball on the floor, not minding the coldness of the tiles against his heated cheeks, and finally he let the tears go, no matter how out of character it was of him; the tears nonetheless cannot be held back.

******

after notes: T_T I know they were VERY, VERY OOC. But anyhow reviews would be highly appreciated. Suggestions would be great too! Next chapter would be in a day or two. And oh I've got another fic about them, check it out please. Discovering of Us.

Off to the next chapter…