Chapter Four: Apartment Sitter
The alarm clock blared. Kestrel must have set Len's clock on ambulance before she left.
"DARNIT. and I don't know how to set the stupid thing." she cursed, then glared at the red numbers. 6:30. She groaned and rolled over. It kept blaring. She chucked a pillow at it. Didn't work. She meowed pitifully and clapped her hands over her ears. She had just chucked her last defense against the sound right at the alarm. Legolas came in, fingers in his sensitive ears.
"Can you turn that off, please?"
"No." Came the muffled reply from under the covers.
"Please? It hurts."
"I'm not leaving this spot until lunch." She poked a hand out from under the quilt and made a shooing motion. "Go `way."
"Turn it off!"
"NO! Leamme' alone!"
He hesitated a moment, then grabbed her shooing hand and yanked. She yelped, then wrapped her feet in the quilt and attempted to flop backwards onto the bed. He continued pulling until she was sitting upright again, then kneeling, then stretched out so that only her feet were still on the edge of the bed. She glared daggers at him and dug her fingernails into the webbing between his thumb and pointer finger. He only pulled harder. Finally, he yanked her arms and she plonked onto the floor face-first with an 'oof'. She sat up, grabbed a hammer from the chair, and threw it at the still blaring alarm, which shut off with a 'bruump'. They both sighed in relief, then Len glared again at the elf and shoved him out of her room. She slammed the door behind him, then turned back to the alarm clock.
"You are SO scrap metal." She said, advancing upon it.
~*~
"Okeey, for breakfast we have the pancakes- aged a week, we have yogurt, which has been cheesing for 2 weeks, the green and furry nutra-grain bar, or the variable meal- no one knows how long it's been there."
"The. variable meal?"
"Yup. Variable- could be anything."
"Could I just have some fruit?
"Well, we have guava fruit that's long since gone mushy."
"I'll just have water."
"Excellent choice."
"By the way, what are you having?"
"I get the leftover Chinese."
"Pig."
After they had finished breakfast, Len exchanged her bunny slippers for sandals and headed for the door. She paused.
"Okay, you're gonna have to stay here for the day- work on the job application I gave you. If there's anything in it that would give you away as an elf, let me fill it out. After you're done, you can watch tv." She grabbed the remote off of the counter and flipped it on. Legolas jumped.
"Black magic! Has Sauron followed us even here?!"
"It's called science. Get used to it."
He stared at the screen openmouthed. "What Thranduil would give to see this." he murmured softly.
~*~
Len opened the door to the apartment and stuck her head in. "Hey, you there?" No reply. She walked slowly into the hallway of the apartment. "I got some books for you on technology- stopped by the library. If you're ever gonna leave the house, you're gonna have to understand them." Silence. She came into the kitchen.
"Oh, my goodness. LEGOLAS! Get in here RIGHT NOW!"
The elf slowly, cautiously, came into the room.
"What happened to the kitchen?!" The room that stood before her was splattered with a green foul smelling goo, the microwave bore a large hole in it, and there were scorch marks everywhere.
"I tried to work the- science technology- you told me about before you left." He pointed to the blender, oven, microwave, and gas stove. "They wouldn't be controlled."
"You big stupid ox! You should have waited until I got home!" She sighed. "Just please don't do it again." He nodded earnestly.
"Alright, I'm going to call a maid and a mechanic- if you're so interested in techwork, sit down and read this." She handed him a huge 'technology for idiots' book. "Sit, read, and DON'T MOVE."
The alarm clock blared. Kestrel must have set Len's clock on ambulance before she left.
"DARNIT. and I don't know how to set the stupid thing." she cursed, then glared at the red numbers. 6:30. She groaned and rolled over. It kept blaring. She chucked a pillow at it. Didn't work. She meowed pitifully and clapped her hands over her ears. She had just chucked her last defense against the sound right at the alarm. Legolas came in, fingers in his sensitive ears.
"Can you turn that off, please?"
"No." Came the muffled reply from under the covers.
"Please? It hurts."
"I'm not leaving this spot until lunch." She poked a hand out from under the quilt and made a shooing motion. "Go `way."
"Turn it off!"
"NO! Leamme' alone!"
He hesitated a moment, then grabbed her shooing hand and yanked. She yelped, then wrapped her feet in the quilt and attempted to flop backwards onto the bed. He continued pulling until she was sitting upright again, then kneeling, then stretched out so that only her feet were still on the edge of the bed. She glared daggers at him and dug her fingernails into the webbing between his thumb and pointer finger. He only pulled harder. Finally, he yanked her arms and she plonked onto the floor face-first with an 'oof'. She sat up, grabbed a hammer from the chair, and threw it at the still blaring alarm, which shut off with a 'bruump'. They both sighed in relief, then Len glared again at the elf and shoved him out of her room. She slammed the door behind him, then turned back to the alarm clock.
"You are SO scrap metal." She said, advancing upon it.
~*~
"Okeey, for breakfast we have the pancakes- aged a week, we have yogurt, which has been cheesing for 2 weeks, the green and furry nutra-grain bar, or the variable meal- no one knows how long it's been there."
"The. variable meal?"
"Yup. Variable- could be anything."
"Could I just have some fruit?
"Well, we have guava fruit that's long since gone mushy."
"I'll just have water."
"Excellent choice."
"By the way, what are you having?"
"I get the leftover Chinese."
"Pig."
After they had finished breakfast, Len exchanged her bunny slippers for sandals and headed for the door. She paused.
"Okay, you're gonna have to stay here for the day- work on the job application I gave you. If there's anything in it that would give you away as an elf, let me fill it out. After you're done, you can watch tv." She grabbed the remote off of the counter and flipped it on. Legolas jumped.
"Black magic! Has Sauron followed us even here?!"
"It's called science. Get used to it."
He stared at the screen openmouthed. "What Thranduil would give to see this." he murmured softly.
~*~
Len opened the door to the apartment and stuck her head in. "Hey, you there?" No reply. She walked slowly into the hallway of the apartment. "I got some books for you on technology- stopped by the library. If you're ever gonna leave the house, you're gonna have to understand them." Silence. She came into the kitchen.
"Oh, my goodness. LEGOLAS! Get in here RIGHT NOW!"
The elf slowly, cautiously, came into the room.
"What happened to the kitchen?!" The room that stood before her was splattered with a green foul smelling goo, the microwave bore a large hole in it, and there were scorch marks everywhere.
"I tried to work the- science technology- you told me about before you left." He pointed to the blender, oven, microwave, and gas stove. "They wouldn't be controlled."
"You big stupid ox! You should have waited until I got home!" She sighed. "Just please don't do it again." He nodded earnestly.
"Alright, I'm going to call a maid and a mechanic- if you're so interested in techwork, sit down and read this." She handed him a huge 'technology for idiots' book. "Sit, read, and DON'T MOVE."