This is my first ever comedy fic, so hopefully, I gave it a good shot. AND,
the people are older. They're not fifteen anymore, but are now old enough
to get into bars. Plus, it turns out I have a very vulgar sense of humor
and a lot of typoes.
*crosses fingers*
Just hope it comes together!
~*~
"Goddamnit, when the *hell* is Seto getting here?" Yami murmered.
Yugi looked at his dark side, his purple eyes getting starry and lusty. "My own Yami is . . . getting married!!"
Little Yugi burst into tears before Yami slapped him over the head. "We're not married yet!!"
"Oh. Well in that case, I'll be off in my room practicing Kama Sutra," Yugi pranced off.
"I didn't kno-"
He was interrupted by the doorbell. Yami strutted over to the door, swinging open the door with a fourish. Seto Kaiba was standing there, looking like his regular frozen-hearted self.
"Goddamnit woman, what took you so long to open the door?" Seto glared at him.
"I'm more of a man than you are, you bitch!" Yami snapped, "And how long does it take for you to style that hair of yours?"
"It brings out my girlish side," Seto replied, twirling a strand of hair.
"Nice ride," Yami commented as they stepped outside, looking at the incredibly expensive looking car.
"That's right, and the interior's pretty damned nice too, so make sure nobody pees in the back seat,"
"Excuse me, *chica*, but just keep that goddamned I'm-going-to-gut-you look of yours to yourself, because I would honestly love to see somebody kick your ass for always looking so constipated whenever you do that."
"Just shut up and get in Yami," Seto snapped, pointing to the door.
After a few minutes a tense driving, Yami cried from the backseat "Kaiba, that was the exit!"
"Let me drive, you yutz!"
"My name is Yami, damnit, YAMI, not yutz, or idiot, and especially not blonde bimbo, you sadistic bastard!"
"Stop pissing me off!!" Seto yelled, turning around to glare at him.
"Watch the road!" Yami squealed, both from fear and irritation.
Seto swerved sharply, just missing a speeding convertible.
"Watch my Mclaren F1!!" he screamed out the window to the other driver.
""Isn't the Mclaren supposed to be one of the most expensive cars out there?" Yami asked, sweat dropping.
"It IS the most expensive car out there," Seto replied through gritted teeth.
After much bickering and insults, the two finally managed to find Anzu's neighborhood, not before taking every wrong turn possible, thanks to their indecision and arguing.
"Hey, what happened to Mokuba and Yugi?" Anzu asked as she clambered into the car.
"Yugi said he was busy, and since we're going to Mai's birthday party, bringing Mokuba would traumatize his childhood," Seto answered.
Yami cringed, thinking of the real reason why his hikari wasn't coming. 'I still don't have any idea how somebody of his size could even come near the postures in Kama Sutra'.
"I forgot to tell you that we're meeting Joey and the others there, so we don't have to pick them up," Anzu informed.
"Thank God," Seto murmured, taking a right.
Surprisingly, they managed to make it to Mai's on time.
"M-Mai's?" Anzu stuttered, as she watched the neon sign flash its bright letters. This particular sign had a winking Blondie on it, dressed in very small articles of clothing, holding a bottle of beer.
"This should be interesting," Seto said, walking up to the door.
Holding their breath, they all walked into the bar.
It was as bad or as raunchy as they had hoped/thought it would be. Girls in tube-tops and short-shorts were all carrying trays serving drunken men, woman, and not surprisingly, their own little gang in the corner.
"Hey Yuge!" Joey grinned at them, holding a beer in his hand. Sitting by him were the others, with Otogi flirting very enthusiastically with a waitress. Ryou was looking properly embarrassed and Tristan was busy running away from Malik, who wanted his thongs back.
"Damn you Taylor, give me back my lingerie!" Malik yelled.
"Hey, see if you can slip a girl into that!" a man from a corner hollered.
"You guys are all disgusting!!" Seto announced, before storming towards the door.
Mai appeared before him, and help up a hand to stop him.
"It's my birthday, you could atleast stay for a bit, and have some fun for once." She remarked.
"Fine, but I'm leaving right after wards. And what's with the bar get-up?"
"I decided that after I had accumulated my fortune at strip-dancing, I decided to stop getting kicked out of bars and just open my own."
"Uh, right," Seto said slowly, "Anyway, I'm going to have a drink or two, then leave,"
One or two drinks ended up turning into eight or nine drinks, and soon, our dear Seto-kun was plastered like you wouldn't believe, so much that he had actually convinced himself that Yami was indeed a woman.
Seto staggered over to Yami, who was calmly downing shots at the counter. Seto swept the shot to the floor.
"I'm going to have you here and now, so get your jacket on, and haul your ass into my car!"
~*~
AUGH! I know, such a bad ending for a chapter, but I'll try to get a second chapter up, once my levels of insanity bring themselves up enough to disorient my sense of humor.
*crosses fingers*
Just hope it comes together!
~*~
"Goddamnit, when the *hell* is Seto getting here?" Yami murmered.
Yugi looked at his dark side, his purple eyes getting starry and lusty. "My own Yami is . . . getting married!!"
Little Yugi burst into tears before Yami slapped him over the head. "We're not married yet!!"
"Oh. Well in that case, I'll be off in my room practicing Kama Sutra," Yugi pranced off.
"I didn't kno-"
He was interrupted by the doorbell. Yami strutted over to the door, swinging open the door with a fourish. Seto Kaiba was standing there, looking like his regular frozen-hearted self.
"Goddamnit woman, what took you so long to open the door?" Seto glared at him.
"I'm more of a man than you are, you bitch!" Yami snapped, "And how long does it take for you to style that hair of yours?"
"It brings out my girlish side," Seto replied, twirling a strand of hair.
"Nice ride," Yami commented as they stepped outside, looking at the incredibly expensive looking car.
"That's right, and the interior's pretty damned nice too, so make sure nobody pees in the back seat,"
"Excuse me, *chica*, but just keep that goddamned I'm-going-to-gut-you look of yours to yourself, because I would honestly love to see somebody kick your ass for always looking so constipated whenever you do that."
"Just shut up and get in Yami," Seto snapped, pointing to the door.
After a few minutes a tense driving, Yami cried from the backseat "Kaiba, that was the exit!"
"Let me drive, you yutz!"
"My name is Yami, damnit, YAMI, not yutz, or idiot, and especially not blonde bimbo, you sadistic bastard!"
"Stop pissing me off!!" Seto yelled, turning around to glare at him.
"Watch the road!" Yami squealed, both from fear and irritation.
Seto swerved sharply, just missing a speeding convertible.
"Watch my Mclaren F1!!" he screamed out the window to the other driver.
""Isn't the Mclaren supposed to be one of the most expensive cars out there?" Yami asked, sweat dropping.
"It IS the most expensive car out there," Seto replied through gritted teeth.
After much bickering and insults, the two finally managed to find Anzu's neighborhood, not before taking every wrong turn possible, thanks to their indecision and arguing.
"Hey, what happened to Mokuba and Yugi?" Anzu asked as she clambered into the car.
"Yugi said he was busy, and since we're going to Mai's birthday party, bringing Mokuba would traumatize his childhood," Seto answered.
Yami cringed, thinking of the real reason why his hikari wasn't coming. 'I still don't have any idea how somebody of his size could even come near the postures in Kama Sutra'.
"I forgot to tell you that we're meeting Joey and the others there, so we don't have to pick them up," Anzu informed.
"Thank God," Seto murmured, taking a right.
Surprisingly, they managed to make it to Mai's on time.
"M-Mai's?" Anzu stuttered, as she watched the neon sign flash its bright letters. This particular sign had a winking Blondie on it, dressed in very small articles of clothing, holding a bottle of beer.
"This should be interesting," Seto said, walking up to the door.
Holding their breath, they all walked into the bar.
It was as bad or as raunchy as they had hoped/thought it would be. Girls in tube-tops and short-shorts were all carrying trays serving drunken men, woman, and not surprisingly, their own little gang in the corner.
"Hey Yuge!" Joey grinned at them, holding a beer in his hand. Sitting by him were the others, with Otogi flirting very enthusiastically with a waitress. Ryou was looking properly embarrassed and Tristan was busy running away from Malik, who wanted his thongs back.
"Damn you Taylor, give me back my lingerie!" Malik yelled.
"Hey, see if you can slip a girl into that!" a man from a corner hollered.
"You guys are all disgusting!!" Seto announced, before storming towards the door.
Mai appeared before him, and help up a hand to stop him.
"It's my birthday, you could atleast stay for a bit, and have some fun for once." She remarked.
"Fine, but I'm leaving right after wards. And what's with the bar get-up?"
"I decided that after I had accumulated my fortune at strip-dancing, I decided to stop getting kicked out of bars and just open my own."
"Uh, right," Seto said slowly, "Anyway, I'm going to have a drink or two, then leave,"
One or two drinks ended up turning into eight or nine drinks, and soon, our dear Seto-kun was plastered like you wouldn't believe, so much that he had actually convinced himself that Yami was indeed a woman.
Seto staggered over to Yami, who was calmly downing shots at the counter. Seto swept the shot to the floor.
"I'm going to have you here and now, so get your jacket on, and haul your ass into my car!"
~*~
AUGH! I know, such a bad ending for a chapter, but I'll try to get a second chapter up, once my levels of insanity bring themselves up enough to disorient my sense of humor.