Morgan sighed as she slowly flipped the channels on the TV. She had
to admit, living at Cory's apartment had been - different. For one thing,
she had to follow his "ground rules". They had each taken over the
refrigerator by labeling their "things" with the initial of their first
name. She was only allowed to drink or eat the things labeled "M", and he
was supposed to stick to his side of the bargain by only drinking or eating
things labeled "C".
Let me just say, this did not work out well at all.
Morgan had to drink her coffee black because she had run out of HER milk. Cory had to eat his cereal dry because he had run out of HIS milk.
And then there was the fact that EVERYONE thought they were married. They weren't; they were just roommates.
Morgan settled for the made-for-TV movie marathon on Lifetime and slowly settled back into the pillows on the couch. This was a lap of luxury for Morgan; when you're an amateur fashion designer right out of college, you don't make much money. Morgan's couch was not as nearly as comfortable as this one was. And poor Cory, he had no one to share it with.
"What are you watching?" Cory asked. "Oh, nothing, just the made-for- TV movie marathon on Lifetime," Morgan replied. "Another one?" he asked.
She turned around, obviously ruffled by this remark. "Ex-cuse me, but I happen to know that Lifetime doesn't have these movie marathons very long. Besides it's over."
"Fine. What's on now, Miss I-Think-I-Know-Everything-And-Control-The- TV-Because-Cory-Was-So-Nice-Enough-To-Let-Me-Move-In?"
"Long name, but - ooh! Golden Girls!" she said, squealing. "You can't possibly tell me you LIKE this show." He told her.
"Cory, here. I give up. I'm going to do some work in the studio. Have time, will work." She said, giving him the remote.
"Morgan, I don't think this living arrangement is working out," he said. "You're right," she replied. "But hey, you were the one who offered, weren't you?"
It was fine, despite their little arguments. But what was going to be worse was only just starting and beginning.
Shawn and Angela, however, didn't notice their little fights. Well, okay, let me rephrase that. Angela noticed them, Shawn didn't. That's a little bit more obvious. Angela noticed that Cory and Morgan argued about EVERYTHING - but Morgan always won with literal statements or sarcasm.
"Hey, Cor," Morgan said when he walked in from work. "You're not eating those, are you?" he asked, pointing to the chocolate covered strawberries.
"Um, no, Cory. I just took them from the kitchen and put them down next to me on the couch and ripped off various parts of them to make it look like I had eaten them. Of course I ate them! What else do you think I did?" she said sarcastically.
"Morgan! Those were supposed to be for the guys!" he hissed. "What guys?" she said, imitating his voice.
"The guys I'm bringing from work and their wives! The wives eat the strawberries!" he hissed, but a little less hiss this time (if that makes any sense at all).
"Oh. Okay. Well, I'll make new ones. It's not hard." Morgan said. "Come on. These people eat gourmet meals every single day. I think they know the difference between store-bought and gourmet."
"There is no difference, except you pay a little bit more for the other one. And besides, Cor! It's easy! They'll never find out, it tastes the same." Morgan said, and picked up her jacket.
"What are you doing, it's hot outside, you don't need a jacket." Cory noted. "I didn't ask for a weather report!" Morgan said as she left the room.
Well, the guys came, and no they didn't notice the difference (nor did they notice Cory cringing as they took the first bite). However, there was one slight problem.
The minute the first couple came in, it was a total mess. "Oh, dear, you two make the sweetest couple! How long have you been married?" the first woman asked.
"Umm.Cory? May I see you in the kitchen, a moment?" Morgan asked. She dragged him into the kitchen.
"First of all, who are these people?" Morgan asked, obviously tweaked at something. "That's Lydia, and the guy is Jeffrey, they're the people I work with. The other five couples will be coming soon." Cory replied.
"Why do they think we're married?" Morgan asked, still tweaked. "Because, I don't know, it's been, like, twenty years since they got out of college and they still don't know the difference between roommates and soul mates. But please, Morgan, you have to pretend we're married!"
"Why should I?" Morgan asked, challenging him. "Because I need it! Badly!" he said. "Okay, okay, this marriage thing won't come without a price." Morgan told him.
"Five dollars?"
"No."
"Fifteen?"
"Nope."
"Forty-five."
"You're losing me here."
"Fifty?"
"What, I couldn't hear that!"
"I'll let you watch whatever you want on Lifetime! Even that show with Fran Drescher!"
"Mmmm.oh, okay." She said. She wanted more, but she didn't know what, so she settled for that.
"Hey! I need something too! I have to pretend I'm married to you all weekend!" Cory protested.
"What? You didn't tell me it was all weekend!" Morgan spat out like it was some of her bouillabaisse.
"Well, it wasn't, but whatever. Now, listen, what are you going to give me?" he asked her.
"Sixty?"
"No."
"Seventy?"
"No."
"Eighty?"
"What are you talking about, you don't even have that much money. You're a fashion designer, what are you talking about."
"I won't talk for a week!" Morgan suggested desperately. He raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "I now pronounce us man and wife," he said, taking her arm.
If you asked anyone now, they wouldn't know. Even Shawn and Angela wouldn't know, which is surprising. But somehow, Shawn and Angela wound up at the dinner party.
Between courses, Morgan and Cory would shuffle into the kitchen and argue about, well, just about every topic on the planet. Shawn and Angela, however, had to witness this, and Angela felt the need to speak to Shawn "outside and in private".
"I just think we either need to jumpstart it, or end it, and I'm serious here." Angela said (referring to, obviously, the relationship that isn't a relationship of Morgan and Cory).
"What are you talking about? They are so in love with each other it's unbelievable. I mean, look. They're even pretending that they're married!" Shawn said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.
"No, Shawn, it's not unbelievable. They fight all the time! Besides, they're only pretending their married because Cory's going to let Morgan watch whatever she wants on the Lifetime channel and Morgan's not going to talk for a week."
"They don't fight all the time." Shawn protested. They both looked into the kitchen through the glass doors, where both of them were fighting with each other. He looked at Angela hopelessly. "People who love each other fight a lot. They really do."
"Whatever," Angela said. "I just want to get this relationship started. They make the cutest couple and I know they would be happy together."
"Yeah, me too," Shawn agreed. "But I mean here they are roommates and they're fighting over everything!"
"Well, maybe we just have to jumpstart it a little. Maybe they're fighting because they think the other one wants them to argue with everything they say."
"You know, even if that made sense, it would be stupid." Shawn told her. "People who love each other don't fight because they think the other one wants them to."
"Shawn!" Angela said, so loudly it startled him. "You have to realize that this is real life! It isn't TV! Human emotions can run so out of touch with the real world that it could lead to unavoidable combustion. We need to keep their feelings with each other so locked up that they can't possibly let the other one know how the other one feels about that one. You get it?"
Shawn didn't, but he pretended he did, for Angela. "So what are we going to do?" he asked her.
"Oh, I already have a plan. In a situation they can't get out of, anyone will say anything at all just to save their own skin." Angela told him.
"We're going to threaten to kill Morgan and Cory?" Shawn asked, surprised. "No, we aren't going to threaten to kill them. We're going to corner them, though, and make them admit that they love each other. Then, we'll get it on tape, and turn it into each other." Angela explained.
Shawn didn't know how they'd do that, but Angela was really smart and always right, and he'd learned never to argue with her.
"Without the rebuttal from my spouse because that's the kind of husband I know you'll be," she said, scaring him, "we're going to do it and it's going to work. This relationship won't ever fly without our help."
"Ok, ok," Shawn said, and they both walked back into the dinner party. It might take awhile, but it would be worth it.
Wouldn't it?
Let me just say, this did not work out well at all.
Morgan had to drink her coffee black because she had run out of HER milk. Cory had to eat his cereal dry because he had run out of HIS milk.
And then there was the fact that EVERYONE thought they were married. They weren't; they were just roommates.
Morgan settled for the made-for-TV movie marathon on Lifetime and slowly settled back into the pillows on the couch. This was a lap of luxury for Morgan; when you're an amateur fashion designer right out of college, you don't make much money. Morgan's couch was not as nearly as comfortable as this one was. And poor Cory, he had no one to share it with.
"What are you watching?" Cory asked. "Oh, nothing, just the made-for- TV movie marathon on Lifetime," Morgan replied. "Another one?" he asked.
She turned around, obviously ruffled by this remark. "Ex-cuse me, but I happen to know that Lifetime doesn't have these movie marathons very long. Besides it's over."
"Fine. What's on now, Miss I-Think-I-Know-Everything-And-Control-The- TV-Because-Cory-Was-So-Nice-Enough-To-Let-Me-Move-In?"
"Long name, but - ooh! Golden Girls!" she said, squealing. "You can't possibly tell me you LIKE this show." He told her.
"Cory, here. I give up. I'm going to do some work in the studio. Have time, will work." She said, giving him the remote.
"Morgan, I don't think this living arrangement is working out," he said. "You're right," she replied. "But hey, you were the one who offered, weren't you?"
It was fine, despite their little arguments. But what was going to be worse was only just starting and beginning.
Shawn and Angela, however, didn't notice their little fights. Well, okay, let me rephrase that. Angela noticed them, Shawn didn't. That's a little bit more obvious. Angela noticed that Cory and Morgan argued about EVERYTHING - but Morgan always won with literal statements or sarcasm.
"Hey, Cor," Morgan said when he walked in from work. "You're not eating those, are you?" he asked, pointing to the chocolate covered strawberries.
"Um, no, Cory. I just took them from the kitchen and put them down next to me on the couch and ripped off various parts of them to make it look like I had eaten them. Of course I ate them! What else do you think I did?" she said sarcastically.
"Morgan! Those were supposed to be for the guys!" he hissed. "What guys?" she said, imitating his voice.
"The guys I'm bringing from work and their wives! The wives eat the strawberries!" he hissed, but a little less hiss this time (if that makes any sense at all).
"Oh. Okay. Well, I'll make new ones. It's not hard." Morgan said. "Come on. These people eat gourmet meals every single day. I think they know the difference between store-bought and gourmet."
"There is no difference, except you pay a little bit more for the other one. And besides, Cor! It's easy! They'll never find out, it tastes the same." Morgan said, and picked up her jacket.
"What are you doing, it's hot outside, you don't need a jacket." Cory noted. "I didn't ask for a weather report!" Morgan said as she left the room.
Well, the guys came, and no they didn't notice the difference (nor did they notice Cory cringing as they took the first bite). However, there was one slight problem.
The minute the first couple came in, it was a total mess. "Oh, dear, you two make the sweetest couple! How long have you been married?" the first woman asked.
"Umm.Cory? May I see you in the kitchen, a moment?" Morgan asked. She dragged him into the kitchen.
"First of all, who are these people?" Morgan asked, obviously tweaked at something. "That's Lydia, and the guy is Jeffrey, they're the people I work with. The other five couples will be coming soon." Cory replied.
"Why do they think we're married?" Morgan asked, still tweaked. "Because, I don't know, it's been, like, twenty years since they got out of college and they still don't know the difference between roommates and soul mates. But please, Morgan, you have to pretend we're married!"
"Why should I?" Morgan asked, challenging him. "Because I need it! Badly!" he said. "Okay, okay, this marriage thing won't come without a price." Morgan told him.
"Five dollars?"
"No."
"Fifteen?"
"Nope."
"Forty-five."
"You're losing me here."
"Fifty?"
"What, I couldn't hear that!"
"I'll let you watch whatever you want on Lifetime! Even that show with Fran Drescher!"
"Mmmm.oh, okay." She said. She wanted more, but she didn't know what, so she settled for that.
"Hey! I need something too! I have to pretend I'm married to you all weekend!" Cory protested.
"What? You didn't tell me it was all weekend!" Morgan spat out like it was some of her bouillabaisse.
"Well, it wasn't, but whatever. Now, listen, what are you going to give me?" he asked her.
"Sixty?"
"No."
"Seventy?"
"No."
"Eighty?"
"What are you talking about, you don't even have that much money. You're a fashion designer, what are you talking about."
"I won't talk for a week!" Morgan suggested desperately. He raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "I now pronounce us man and wife," he said, taking her arm.
If you asked anyone now, they wouldn't know. Even Shawn and Angela wouldn't know, which is surprising. But somehow, Shawn and Angela wound up at the dinner party.
Between courses, Morgan and Cory would shuffle into the kitchen and argue about, well, just about every topic on the planet. Shawn and Angela, however, had to witness this, and Angela felt the need to speak to Shawn "outside and in private".
"I just think we either need to jumpstart it, or end it, and I'm serious here." Angela said (referring to, obviously, the relationship that isn't a relationship of Morgan and Cory).
"What are you talking about? They are so in love with each other it's unbelievable. I mean, look. They're even pretending that they're married!" Shawn said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.
"No, Shawn, it's not unbelievable. They fight all the time! Besides, they're only pretending their married because Cory's going to let Morgan watch whatever she wants on the Lifetime channel and Morgan's not going to talk for a week."
"They don't fight all the time." Shawn protested. They both looked into the kitchen through the glass doors, where both of them were fighting with each other. He looked at Angela hopelessly. "People who love each other fight a lot. They really do."
"Whatever," Angela said. "I just want to get this relationship started. They make the cutest couple and I know they would be happy together."
"Yeah, me too," Shawn agreed. "But I mean here they are roommates and they're fighting over everything!"
"Well, maybe we just have to jumpstart it a little. Maybe they're fighting because they think the other one wants them to argue with everything they say."
"You know, even if that made sense, it would be stupid." Shawn told her. "People who love each other don't fight because they think the other one wants them to."
"Shawn!" Angela said, so loudly it startled him. "You have to realize that this is real life! It isn't TV! Human emotions can run so out of touch with the real world that it could lead to unavoidable combustion. We need to keep their feelings with each other so locked up that they can't possibly let the other one know how the other one feels about that one. You get it?"
Shawn didn't, but he pretended he did, for Angela. "So what are we going to do?" he asked her.
"Oh, I already have a plan. In a situation they can't get out of, anyone will say anything at all just to save their own skin." Angela told him.
"We're going to threaten to kill Morgan and Cory?" Shawn asked, surprised. "No, we aren't going to threaten to kill them. We're going to corner them, though, and make them admit that they love each other. Then, we'll get it on tape, and turn it into each other." Angela explained.
Shawn didn't know how they'd do that, but Angela was really smart and always right, and he'd learned never to argue with her.
"Without the rebuttal from my spouse because that's the kind of husband I know you'll be," she said, scaring him, "we're going to do it and it's going to work. This relationship won't ever fly without our help."
"Ok, ok," Shawn said, and they both walked back into the dinner party. It might take awhile, but it would be worth it.
Wouldn't it?