TITLE: There Goes The Fear - Part 2
AUTHOR: Willow
SUMMARY: Leo and Donna try and talk to Josh.
SPOILERS: Personal stuff up to S3. Set in an a/u between S3 & S4.
CHARACTERS: Leo, Josh and Donna.
RATING: PG - Angst. Character Death (though it's a character who's long
been assigned to 'The Land Of The Lost'.)
DISCLAIMER: They belong to NBC, Warner Bros, John Wells......
Donna sits in her car and dials Leo on her cell phone. "Hey Leo it's Donna."
"Hi Donna, how is he?" Leo asks.
"He said all he needed was to be alone."
"I suppose that's understandable. I'm sorry I asked you to go over."
Donna's quiet for a moment wondering what to say, she settles on, "That's alright. I'll see you tomorrow." She hangs up the phone and sits in the car for five minutes trying to think what to do. She wishes she could call Sam, but he's gone home for the weekend for his sister's birthday, and there's no point in worrying him when he's in California. Maybe she should call CJ or Toby, but no, she knows who she has to call. She picks up her cell phone and presses redial.
"McGarry."
"Leo, it's Donna again. I'm worried about Josh?" she says nervously.
"Me too," Leo admits. "Where are you?"
"Sat in my car just down from his building."
"What did he say?"
"He told me not to come back, ever. He said he didn't want anyone. He told me to leave while I could," Donna tells Leo. "What did he mean?"
"Wait there, I'll be there soon," Leo instructs.
Donna's decided to go back to Josh's apartment. Even if he throws her out again, she'll at least know that he's OK. She's just about to open her car door when there's a knock on the window. She opens the passenger door and Leo gets in.
"Tell me exactly what happened," he says.
She tells Leo what Josh had said. "It's not what he said though, it was the way he said it. He was scared Leo. When I touched his arm he jumped like I'd burnt him."
Leo realizes that Donna doesn't know Josh quite as well as he'd thought she did. He really wishes he hadn't dragged her into this. Though he knows that Donna tends to call Josh on a Saturday morning, so she'd have got involved then anyway. He wonders where to start.
"I once told Josh that he was a compulsive fixer," Leo says.
"He is," Donna agrees.
"Yeh. I told him it was cos he walks around with too much guilt over everyone he loves dying." Leo sighs, "That's what's wrong with him Donna. I should have realized. He's gonna push everyone away. Especially the people he cares about the most. That's you, Sam, CJ and Toby, and his mom."
"And you," Donna points out.
Leo nods. "That's why he wouldn't let me call Amy, I guess," he adds doubtfully.
"How do you know?"
"He's done it before," Leo replies. "He did it when he was kid after Joanie died. You'd expect a nine year old in that situation to cling to his parents, but Josh pushed them away. Part of it was guilt, but part was fear. In the end it was his grandfather who got through to him." Leo pauses, wondering how much to tell Donna, but he continues. "Then he had a friend from college who died. His parents didn't hear from him for weeks at a stretch. He drove the rest of his friends away. I don't really know what pulled him out of it that time."
"He told me about that," Donna says, noting Leo's look of surprise. "He tells me stuff when he's drunk and then forgets he's said it," she smiles slightly. "It was Sam. He wouldn't leave him alone, in the end Josh gave in and let him help." She's quiet for a moment before saying, "He wasn't like that after his father died. Was he?"
"Not as bad no, but he did shut himself off from everyone. Only Sam and I knew him well back then, so you all didn't notice."
Donna realizes that that's most likely true. She looks toward Josh's darkened apartment. "We can't leave him alone," Donna says. She expects Leo to reassure her, like he did the Christmas after Rosslyn. But he doesn't.
"No, but he's not going to let us in."
"I've got keys," Donna tells him.
Leo looks a little questioning for a second, but then seems to accept that as perfectly normal. "I'm going to call his mother. Let her know what's happened. I know she never liked Mandy, but still......." he trails off.
"OK, you call Clara, I'm going back into his apartment."
"I'll be there soon," Leo agrees.
Leo hangs up the phone and gets out of the car. He sees Donna walk down Josh's stoop and goes to meet her. "He's put the deadlock on, I can't get in and he won't open up," she tells Leo.
Leo has no intention of leaving until he's spoken to Josh, he's just not too sure how he's going to achieve that. He takes out his phone and dials Josh's cell, but it goes straight to voicemail. He tries the apartment phone, but it's engaged. "Well we can't just stand here all night," he tells Donna.
"I'm not leaving," Donna replies.
"I don't know what to do," Leo admits, although he sounds far from defeated.
"There must be someone who he'll let in," Donna ponders.
Leo shakes his head. "Donna," he smiles slightly, "if he won't let you in, then I don't know who else to suggest."
Donna looks startled by that and was about to object when Leo's cell phone rings.
"McGarry."
"Why'd you call my mom?" Josh asks.
"Because I didn't want her hearing it on the news."
"She only met Mandy twice."
"I don't care," Leo replies. "What are you doing?"
"Sitting drinking coffee, in my warm, dry apartment."
Leo smiles, "Lucky you."
"You and Donna don't need to camp outside in the rain all night you know."
"We wouldn't be in the rain if you'd let us in," Leo points out.
"I need to be alone."
"You sure you're OK?"
"I'll be alright. I'll see you at work in a couple of hours."
"Alright, I'll see you then."
"Not going to tell me to take the weekend off then?" Josh smiles.
"No," Leo replies.
"You just want to keep an eye on me."
"I just want you to sort out Patterson."
"See you later," Josh hangs up.
Donna looks at Leo. "Is he alright?"
"Say's he'll see us at work. He gloated that he's sat drinking coffee in his warm, dry apartment," Leo smiles.
"We should go home then?"
"Yeh. Don't come in today Donna, get some sleep."
"I'll see you in a few hours," Donna replies, as Leo knew she would.