Title: Shaant
Author: Annie
Rating: G
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess
Author's Note: Here's the second chapter. In my opinion, it's not as good but hopefully you enjoy it. There should be one more part coming up soon. I wanna really dedicate this to everyone who reviewed and read the story (and my other one). You guys wouldn't believe how much your words mean and how much you inspire me. I hope my stories and owkr entertain you and I guarantee you that this story? I'm planning the happiest ending ever. I think. Hahah you never know with me but anyway to end where I started. Thank you guys. Here's chapter two.
She still remembers that flight. ----- Boy, do I remember that flight. ----- Ask her how long it was, she wouldn't be able to tell you. Ask her what movies they'd showed, or whether she'd had a window or aisle seat, she wouldn't be able to tell you.
Dixon even noticed. -----So much for being covert. ------
"What's going on Syd? You're like fifty billion miles away," he said. "You sounded out of it on the phone, too. Did something happen today?"
-----Oh Dixon. If you only knew. My handler-- for the CIA by the way, not SD-6 because I'm a lying partner who is a double agent-- was taken away from me. He's basically the only thing that keeps me from going insane. I got to say goodbye to him though. And guess what? He got to say that he loved me. And as you speak, I've been thinking about how I think I love him too. -----
"Syd… Sydney?" Dixon asked her again. -----Answering would be good Sydney-----
"Sorry just didn't get much sleep last night, and I've got a lot on my mind," she answered weakly.
"Like?" he pressed.
"Just this paper I have to work on," she said.
"I'm sure you'll do fine," he said, reassuringly.
She hadn't done fine, not on the flight at least .The whole time all that had swirled through her head was Vaughn. She went over every memory, every moment, every word he'd ever said, because she realized it was all for her. Vaughn did everything for her and she missed him so much. She hadn't seen him in months and…
"Sydney, would you listen?" Weiss asked impatiently.
"Sorry, I was just thinking," she replied. -----Of Vaughn. -----
"Of Vaughn?" he asked. She blanched. -----Good grief Weiss, are you telepathic? -----
"Umm…" she stuttered.
"He's doing really good. Remember how I told you ever since his case had been solved, they were figuring what to do?" Weiss continued. She nodded. Weiss had without fail told her everything that was going on with Vaughn. She in turn was supposed to the same but inevitably most of it was classified and she'd just tell Weiss to tell Vaughn she missed him. She hadn't been half as miserable as she'd thought she'd be-- not to say she didn't need Vaughn. But he was there, in his own special, invisible -----guardian angel----- way.
He'd been doing very well too. After her, he'd handled another walk-in but much less complicated than her. The person had known some of the dealings of a local arms supplier and Vaughn had done amazingly. Sydney remembered the first thing she'd asked was whether the walk-in was female. She was indeed, but she had a fiancé and Weiss assured her than she had nothing to worry about. -----When a guy looks like Vaughn, there's always something to worry about. -----
"He got promoted! Again!" Weiss said. She smiled. -----He deserves it. He works so hard----- "And it turns out his new job is a lot of deskwork but a lot less work than before. So guess what?" Weiss looked really excited.
"What?" she asked. ----- He's found a beautiful wife, who is now pregnant and can be normal and he realizes he doesn't need to be in love with someone he hasn't seen in months?-----
"He's coaching a Pee Wee hockey league!" Weiss said excitedly. -----God, he's practically giddy!----- Still, the idea of Vaughn coaching little kids made her heart ache a bit. He's so great, she thought. CIA agent and Pee Wee hockey coach on the side.
"Really? Well I'm glad he finally has time on his hands that he can do something he loves," she said.
"I'm sure he'd be your case officer in a second if he had the chance," Weiss said. "But it's been like two sessions, and he loves those kids. He's dying for you to meet them."
"I wish I could," she said. -----Hell, I'd join if I could. Learn some hockey with a cute coach? I'd do a lot less for Vaughn-----
"Okay, countermission," Weiss said. He did that often. Whenever the mood was down, Weiss would change the subject. -----My new stability. ----- It wasn't too bad actually, having Weiss instead of Vaughn. He did his best, and true to Vaughn's word, never let either of their lives slip away.
Weiss detailed the countermission and she listened like every meeting.
"Well, I'll talk to you in Hong Kong," he said. She nodded and smiled at him. Hopping of the crate, she kissed him on the cheek. "Whoa, you shouldn't have done that. Vaughn's going to be really mad that after five months, I got a kiss when after almost a year all he got was fired." Sydney laughed, and gave him a kiss on his other cheek.
"That one's for him," she said. ----- God, she wished she could give it to him herself. ----- Weiss feigned disappointment.
"And here I thought you liked me," he replied. She laughed.
"Emotionally attached, are we?" she asked. He let out a short laugh.
"Get me fired, and every single agent will want to be your handler," he said. She giggled. -----But I only want one. ----- Weiss made a horrible face.
"What?" she asked, sobering.
"I'm just thinking about how much Vaughn is not going to like me relaying today's message," he said, wrinkling his nose. She giggled again.
"I'll talk to you in Hong Kong," she said, exiting. She didn't stop giggling until she was five blocks away from her house. -----Thank God Vaughn knows how to pick his friends. -----
She'd made her way to Hong Kong the next day. The mission was long but not complicated. In fact the first three hours----- three hours Weiss! ----- required her to wait. Weiss had contacted her to tell her than he might not have been able to be on comms with her. She got to the party she was supposed to wait at, and settled in a corner where no one would notice her. She went on radio silent with Dixon, and switched to the CIA frequency to see who was on the other end.
"Who am I talking to?" she said. "Because you better get ready to entertain me for the next three hours." She heard a laugh on the other side.
"Do me a favor. Whatever you did to make Weiss feel he had to kiss me… next time don't do it," the voice had replied. Her heart leapt. -----I'm dreaming. This has officially, already become the best mission ever. -----
"Vaughn?" she squeaked.
"Weiss didn't tell you? He wasn't able to make it, and they decided that I couldn't put you in danger over the comms," he said laughing.
"But-" she began.
"It's all approved, don't worry, " he replied.
"How-"
"Weiss is just the best friend ever."
"And-"
"He'll pick up again when you've got to work on your mission but until then I'm all yours." -----How can he read my mind? Is everything telepathic except me? ---
"Okay-"
"So I'll be your entertainment."
"Would you stop reading my mind and answering my questions before I ask them?" she burst out, but she was laughing. He laughed too.
"Sorry, I guess it just comes naturally," he replied. Both quieted.
"So do you know anyone who knows how to ask for a stiff, hard drink in Cantonese?" she asked. Vaughn chuckled.
"Wasn't expecting that, I'll tell you," he replied. She laughed. "Hold on." She heard shuffling and muted voices. "Nope, none of the agents here speak Cantonese. But I know that in Mandarin, Pi Jiu is beer."
"You speak Mandarin?" she asked, incredulously.
"Enough to …" he began.
"Know how to ask for a drink?" she retorted. -----Show up at the bar Vaughn. Come on, just do it and be a dashing stranger who sweeps me off my feet. ----- Sydney caught herself. -----God, I'm an idiot. -----
"Well you know that's standard CIA knowledge. Where am I, how to I get to the consulate, can I have a drink, and can you get me a gun. The absolute must-know phrases for any agent," he said, putting on a decidedly silly debonair accent. She giggled.
"I know some mandarin but mine isn't CIA-issued, I'm afraid. I can't believe I'm talking to you! It's been so long," she replied, not knowing what else to say.
"Yeah it has. You're taking care of yourself aren't you? I still worry," he said. She laughed.
"I'm good. And from what Weiss has been telling me, you've been great! A promotion!" she exclaimed. "Agent Amazing!" He chuckled on the other end, and she imagined him blushing.
"Thank you," he said.
"So you must definitely be the CIA's new golden boy," she pushed. She loved when he got embarrassed. He was so modest, it came way too naturally. -----I can't believe I'm talking to Vaughn. -----
"Sydney…" he warned. "If you're going to do this for the next three hours, I'll find someone for you to talk to."
"I'm done, I'm done," she said smiling to herself. She tucked herself more carefully into the corner. -----God I really don't want to be disturbed. ----- "I heard you are coaching a Pee Wee hockey league."
"Yeah, I am actually. It's great. It's got a lot of the agent's kids in it, including Devlin's nephew and Davenport's youngest son, so they're really good about making sure I make time for it and stuff. I love it. You know there are like fifteen kids right…" he talked excitedly. She could practically hear the smile on his face. She listened as he chattered on and on about how much he loved those kids. ----- Do you know how much I love you? ----- "I wish you could meet them Syd. I just know they'd adore as much as…" he dropped of the end of his sentence.
"I wish I could, too," she replied. -----Although, I guarantee that if I got the chance to do something with you, it wouldn't involve little kids and public places. ----
"I'm going to rephrase that. They are going to adore you when they meet you," he said. She smiled. -----He's still the same, amazing Vaughn. -----
"You haven't changed," she said. Then quickly she added, "I think that's the best compliment you could ever receive."
"Thanks," he said, quietly. She knew he was blushing furiously but that wasn't the reason he had sobered.
"Vaughn, that last day, before you left you said…" she began.
"Don't Syd. I told you right? You wanted stability, truth? I gave it to you. That's all you need to know Syd, just keep going on that and know that it won't change," he said, solemnly. -----God, Vaughn, you're such a victim of circumstance. If you had said that face-to-face, those would most definitely be your last sentences for a while. -----
"But Vaughn…" she began again.
"Not now Syd. Remember, what I told you. You, me, an SD-6 takedown and a party? Then you can say whatever the hell you want about that. But not now," he said "Besides. I've just got back in my bosses' good graces. Don't take me out again," he replied. She giggled.
"Okay. Whatever you say, Vaughn," she said, retreating. He sighed on the other end. -----I wonder what he's thinking. -----
"What am I thinking? A lot of things, Syd," he replied. She blinked, not realizing she'd spoken out loud. -----Oh Sydney, you're just setting yourself up for disaster. You truly are the CIA's finest, most deadly, fastest and let's not forget dumbest double agent. That last part especially. -----
"What?" she said, realizing he was talking. She didn't want to miss a word he said.
"I said, I'm thinking a lot of things. But mostly I'm thinking of the fact that since you know everything that I've told Weiss to tell you, Weiss isn't the problem. All I know is that Weiss says you're fine, and that you miss me-which by the way goes without saying for me-but other than that? Nothing. Tell me what's going on with you, Syd. How's everyone?" he asked.
"Well, Francie found out that Charlie was cheating on her and they called off the engagement…" she began. She told him every thing had been going on, about Will, about school, even about her father. They talked like they'd never stop, but time came for her to do her mission. ----- I don't think I've ever hated a mission more. -----
"It was great talking to you Syd," Vaughn replied.
"It was better than great," she replied.
" I just want you to remember. One day, this'll all be over. And what I said to you in the warehouse? Hell, I'll put in on a banner and hang it up at our party," he said. She laughed.
"You do so much for me," she said.
"I'd do a lot more if I could," he replied. He was very serious and Sydney wished -----not for the first time----- that he was in front of her, just so she could show him exactly what she'd do to him.
"I hope that I do the same. You know? Stability. Truth…." She faltered. "All that." Vaughn chuckled.
"All that? Nice, Sydney. Literature major, and she comes up with all that," he teased.
"I'm not as great at this speech thing as you are, Vaughn," she replied. He laughed, and then stopped suddenly.
"I've got to go, Syd," he said.
"Okay, just one last thing," she said.
"Yes?"
"I hope your CIA Mandarin course taught you enough," she said. "Chu le ni de yi wai, wo shen me dong xi dou bu yao. Wo jiu yao ni. Yi tian, wo ke yi huan gei ni, ni gei wo de dong xi." She let out a breath, stood up and was ready for a mission. -----I hope that's your truth, Vaughn. -----
"Dixon, I'm ready."
Okay, my mandarin isn't the greatest thing in the world but the translation should be pretty accurate except for the grammar. It means: "With the exception of you, I don't want anything. All I want it you. One day, I'll be able to give back to you all that you've given me."
Author: Annie
Rating: G
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess
Author's Note: Here's the second chapter. In my opinion, it's not as good but hopefully you enjoy it. There should be one more part coming up soon. I wanna really dedicate this to everyone who reviewed and read the story (and my other one). You guys wouldn't believe how much your words mean and how much you inspire me. I hope my stories and owkr entertain you and I guarantee you that this story? I'm planning the happiest ending ever. I think. Hahah you never know with me but anyway to end where I started. Thank you guys. Here's chapter two.
She still remembers that flight. ----- Boy, do I remember that flight. ----- Ask her how long it was, she wouldn't be able to tell you. Ask her what movies they'd showed, or whether she'd had a window or aisle seat, she wouldn't be able to tell you.
Dixon even noticed. -----So much for being covert. ------
"What's going on Syd? You're like fifty billion miles away," he said. "You sounded out of it on the phone, too. Did something happen today?"
-----Oh Dixon. If you only knew. My handler-- for the CIA by the way, not SD-6 because I'm a lying partner who is a double agent-- was taken away from me. He's basically the only thing that keeps me from going insane. I got to say goodbye to him though. And guess what? He got to say that he loved me. And as you speak, I've been thinking about how I think I love him too. -----
"Syd… Sydney?" Dixon asked her again. -----Answering would be good Sydney-----
"Sorry just didn't get much sleep last night, and I've got a lot on my mind," she answered weakly.
"Like?" he pressed.
"Just this paper I have to work on," she said.
"I'm sure you'll do fine," he said, reassuringly.
She hadn't done fine, not on the flight at least .The whole time all that had swirled through her head was Vaughn. She went over every memory, every moment, every word he'd ever said, because she realized it was all for her. Vaughn did everything for her and she missed him so much. She hadn't seen him in months and…
"Sydney, would you listen?" Weiss asked impatiently.
"Sorry, I was just thinking," she replied. -----Of Vaughn. -----
"Of Vaughn?" he asked. She blanched. -----Good grief Weiss, are you telepathic? -----
"Umm…" she stuttered.
"He's doing really good. Remember how I told you ever since his case had been solved, they were figuring what to do?" Weiss continued. She nodded. Weiss had without fail told her everything that was going on with Vaughn. She in turn was supposed to the same but inevitably most of it was classified and she'd just tell Weiss to tell Vaughn she missed him. She hadn't been half as miserable as she'd thought she'd be-- not to say she didn't need Vaughn. But he was there, in his own special, invisible -----guardian angel----- way.
He'd been doing very well too. After her, he'd handled another walk-in but much less complicated than her. The person had known some of the dealings of a local arms supplier and Vaughn had done amazingly. Sydney remembered the first thing she'd asked was whether the walk-in was female. She was indeed, but she had a fiancé and Weiss assured her than she had nothing to worry about. -----When a guy looks like Vaughn, there's always something to worry about. -----
"He got promoted! Again!" Weiss said. She smiled. -----He deserves it. He works so hard----- "And it turns out his new job is a lot of deskwork but a lot less work than before. So guess what?" Weiss looked really excited.
"What?" she asked. ----- He's found a beautiful wife, who is now pregnant and can be normal and he realizes he doesn't need to be in love with someone he hasn't seen in months?-----
"He's coaching a Pee Wee hockey league!" Weiss said excitedly. -----God, he's practically giddy!----- Still, the idea of Vaughn coaching little kids made her heart ache a bit. He's so great, she thought. CIA agent and Pee Wee hockey coach on the side.
"Really? Well I'm glad he finally has time on his hands that he can do something he loves," she said.
"I'm sure he'd be your case officer in a second if he had the chance," Weiss said. "But it's been like two sessions, and he loves those kids. He's dying for you to meet them."
"I wish I could," she said. -----Hell, I'd join if I could. Learn some hockey with a cute coach? I'd do a lot less for Vaughn-----
"Okay, countermission," Weiss said. He did that often. Whenever the mood was down, Weiss would change the subject. -----My new stability. ----- It wasn't too bad actually, having Weiss instead of Vaughn. He did his best, and true to Vaughn's word, never let either of their lives slip away.
Weiss detailed the countermission and she listened like every meeting.
"Well, I'll talk to you in Hong Kong," he said. She nodded and smiled at him. Hopping of the crate, she kissed him on the cheek. "Whoa, you shouldn't have done that. Vaughn's going to be really mad that after five months, I got a kiss when after almost a year all he got was fired." Sydney laughed, and gave him a kiss on his other cheek.
"That one's for him," she said. ----- God, she wished she could give it to him herself. ----- Weiss feigned disappointment.
"And here I thought you liked me," he replied. She laughed.
"Emotionally attached, are we?" she asked. He let out a short laugh.
"Get me fired, and every single agent will want to be your handler," he said. She giggled. -----But I only want one. ----- Weiss made a horrible face.
"What?" she asked, sobering.
"I'm just thinking about how much Vaughn is not going to like me relaying today's message," he said, wrinkling his nose. She giggled again.
"I'll talk to you in Hong Kong," she said, exiting. She didn't stop giggling until she was five blocks away from her house. -----Thank God Vaughn knows how to pick his friends. -----
She'd made her way to Hong Kong the next day. The mission was long but not complicated. In fact the first three hours----- three hours Weiss! ----- required her to wait. Weiss had contacted her to tell her than he might not have been able to be on comms with her. She got to the party she was supposed to wait at, and settled in a corner where no one would notice her. She went on radio silent with Dixon, and switched to the CIA frequency to see who was on the other end.
"Who am I talking to?" she said. "Because you better get ready to entertain me for the next three hours." She heard a laugh on the other side.
"Do me a favor. Whatever you did to make Weiss feel he had to kiss me… next time don't do it," the voice had replied. Her heart leapt. -----I'm dreaming. This has officially, already become the best mission ever. -----
"Vaughn?" she squeaked.
"Weiss didn't tell you? He wasn't able to make it, and they decided that I couldn't put you in danger over the comms," he said laughing.
"But-" she began.
"It's all approved, don't worry, " he replied.
"How-"
"Weiss is just the best friend ever."
"And-"
"He'll pick up again when you've got to work on your mission but until then I'm all yours." -----How can he read my mind? Is everything telepathic except me? ---
"Okay-"
"So I'll be your entertainment."
"Would you stop reading my mind and answering my questions before I ask them?" she burst out, but she was laughing. He laughed too.
"Sorry, I guess it just comes naturally," he replied. Both quieted.
"So do you know anyone who knows how to ask for a stiff, hard drink in Cantonese?" she asked. Vaughn chuckled.
"Wasn't expecting that, I'll tell you," he replied. She laughed. "Hold on." She heard shuffling and muted voices. "Nope, none of the agents here speak Cantonese. But I know that in Mandarin, Pi Jiu is beer."
"You speak Mandarin?" she asked, incredulously.
"Enough to …" he began.
"Know how to ask for a drink?" she retorted. -----Show up at the bar Vaughn. Come on, just do it and be a dashing stranger who sweeps me off my feet. ----- Sydney caught herself. -----God, I'm an idiot. -----
"Well you know that's standard CIA knowledge. Where am I, how to I get to the consulate, can I have a drink, and can you get me a gun. The absolute must-know phrases for any agent," he said, putting on a decidedly silly debonair accent. She giggled.
"I know some mandarin but mine isn't CIA-issued, I'm afraid. I can't believe I'm talking to you! It's been so long," she replied, not knowing what else to say.
"Yeah it has. You're taking care of yourself aren't you? I still worry," he said. She laughed.
"I'm good. And from what Weiss has been telling me, you've been great! A promotion!" she exclaimed. "Agent Amazing!" He chuckled on the other end, and she imagined him blushing.
"Thank you," he said.
"So you must definitely be the CIA's new golden boy," she pushed. She loved when he got embarrassed. He was so modest, it came way too naturally. -----I can't believe I'm talking to Vaughn. -----
"Sydney…" he warned. "If you're going to do this for the next three hours, I'll find someone for you to talk to."
"I'm done, I'm done," she said smiling to herself. She tucked herself more carefully into the corner. -----God I really don't want to be disturbed. ----- "I heard you are coaching a Pee Wee hockey league."
"Yeah, I am actually. It's great. It's got a lot of the agent's kids in it, including Devlin's nephew and Davenport's youngest son, so they're really good about making sure I make time for it and stuff. I love it. You know there are like fifteen kids right…" he talked excitedly. She could practically hear the smile on his face. She listened as he chattered on and on about how much he loved those kids. ----- Do you know how much I love you? ----- "I wish you could meet them Syd. I just know they'd adore as much as…" he dropped of the end of his sentence.
"I wish I could, too," she replied. -----Although, I guarantee that if I got the chance to do something with you, it wouldn't involve little kids and public places. ----
"I'm going to rephrase that. They are going to adore you when they meet you," he said. She smiled. -----He's still the same, amazing Vaughn. -----
"You haven't changed," she said. Then quickly she added, "I think that's the best compliment you could ever receive."
"Thanks," he said, quietly. She knew he was blushing furiously but that wasn't the reason he had sobered.
"Vaughn, that last day, before you left you said…" she began.
"Don't Syd. I told you right? You wanted stability, truth? I gave it to you. That's all you need to know Syd, just keep going on that and know that it won't change," he said, solemnly. -----God, Vaughn, you're such a victim of circumstance. If you had said that face-to-face, those would most definitely be your last sentences for a while. -----
"But Vaughn…" she began again.
"Not now Syd. Remember, what I told you. You, me, an SD-6 takedown and a party? Then you can say whatever the hell you want about that. But not now," he said "Besides. I've just got back in my bosses' good graces. Don't take me out again," he replied. She giggled.
"Okay. Whatever you say, Vaughn," she said, retreating. He sighed on the other end. -----I wonder what he's thinking. -----
"What am I thinking? A lot of things, Syd," he replied. She blinked, not realizing she'd spoken out loud. -----Oh Sydney, you're just setting yourself up for disaster. You truly are the CIA's finest, most deadly, fastest and let's not forget dumbest double agent. That last part especially. -----
"What?" she said, realizing he was talking. She didn't want to miss a word he said.
"I said, I'm thinking a lot of things. But mostly I'm thinking of the fact that since you know everything that I've told Weiss to tell you, Weiss isn't the problem. All I know is that Weiss says you're fine, and that you miss me-which by the way goes without saying for me-but other than that? Nothing. Tell me what's going on with you, Syd. How's everyone?" he asked.
"Well, Francie found out that Charlie was cheating on her and they called off the engagement…" she began. She told him every thing had been going on, about Will, about school, even about her father. They talked like they'd never stop, but time came for her to do her mission. ----- I don't think I've ever hated a mission more. -----
"It was great talking to you Syd," Vaughn replied.
"It was better than great," she replied.
" I just want you to remember. One day, this'll all be over. And what I said to you in the warehouse? Hell, I'll put in on a banner and hang it up at our party," he said. She laughed.
"You do so much for me," she said.
"I'd do a lot more if I could," he replied. He was very serious and Sydney wished -----not for the first time----- that he was in front of her, just so she could show him exactly what she'd do to him.
"I hope that I do the same. You know? Stability. Truth…." She faltered. "All that." Vaughn chuckled.
"All that? Nice, Sydney. Literature major, and she comes up with all that," he teased.
"I'm not as great at this speech thing as you are, Vaughn," she replied. He laughed, and then stopped suddenly.
"I've got to go, Syd," he said.
"Okay, just one last thing," she said.
"Yes?"
"I hope your CIA Mandarin course taught you enough," she said. "Chu le ni de yi wai, wo shen me dong xi dou bu yao. Wo jiu yao ni. Yi tian, wo ke yi huan gei ni, ni gei wo de dong xi." She let out a breath, stood up and was ready for a mission. -----I hope that's your truth, Vaughn. -----
"Dixon, I'm ready."
Okay, my mandarin isn't the greatest thing in the world but the translation should be pretty accurate except for the grammar. It means: "With the exception of you, I don't want anything. All I want it you. One day, I'll be able to give back to you all that you've given me."