Kazuya's Got Substance. Abuse?

Disclaimer: Don't Own Anything.
Chapter 15

Kazuya: we had to leave my college, my family was about to become apart of some, some cult!

Jun: It was just a harmless sorority Kazuya.

Kazuya: Well we are going to stay home. And do nothing. *Kazuya Faints *

Jin: Hey mom! *Looks down * MOMMY WHAT DID YOU DO TO DADDY?

Jun: Call the hospital!

AT THE HOSPITAL

Kazuya: What happened to me?

Julia: Easy Mr. Mishima, you had an anxiety attack.

Kazuya: What would cause that.

Julia: Well you could be trigged by stress, pregnancy..

Kazuya: I'm pregnant?

Ling:?????

AT THE SNACK BAR

Jin: Mom, what do you want from the vending machine?

Jun: Food.

*Kazuya runs from the hospital room *

Kazuya: I'm pregnant!

Jun: WHAT? !!

Julia: YOU FRIGGIN' TARD, YOUR NOT!!! YOUR JUST STUPID!!

Jun: Good, because I am really pregnant.

Everyone: WHAT?!?!

Jun: Kidding!! Well actually while Baek and I were dating, I accidentally signed a paper that made me adopt Hwoarang.

Jin :WHAT?!?!?!

Kazuya: Finally, a real son!!!

Jin: What?

Kazuya: That is the first thing you have done right son.

Ling: Okay. So lets deal with things one at a time. What caused Kazuya to faint?

Julia: Just a chemical imbalance. He just needs to take this drug called Spreed.

Kazuya: Fine then we get my medicine and we make for plans to have tae kwon do boy move in. ((YEAH TAE KWON DO!! I STUDY TAE KWON DO!!! ))

Jin: WHAT??!??!?!!?!?

AT THE NEARBY DRUG STORE

*LOUD MUSIC IS PLAYING *

Kazuya: Okay, drug man I need to get this medicine called Spreed.

Guy: Weed?

Kazuya: No!!!

Guy: Sorry ,I can' t hear you, speed?

Kazuya: No!!! Spreed!!

Guy: Sprid?

Kazuya :Oh whatever.

*WARNING: SPRID IS A MIND PARANOIA DRUG THAT IS TO PREVENT DEPRESSION AND ACUTE ANOREXIA(?) THIS DRUG WILL CAUSE HALLUINCINATIONS, DIAREHA, VOMITING, AND STRANGE FEELINGS TO DANCE *

Kazuya: time to take my Spreed! *takes some *

Ling: Oh Kazuya, your medicine says Sprid.

Kazuya: I don't care, just give me more!!

Ling: I think that is enough for you.

Kazuya :Its never enough for me!!! *takes out a doll and starts hitting her * MOTHER BEAM ABOARD YOUR SHIP!!
AT THE MANSION

Hwoarang: Hey

Jun :Welcome to the family!!

Hwoarang: Can I be a Mishima instead?

Jun: Whatever floats your boat

Hwoarang: Cool. Can I take a crap in you bathroom, cause I heard rich folks got nice bathrooms.

Jun: Sure, why not.

Hwoarang: Cool.

Jin: MOMMY, I WANT HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Hwoarang: Your going to cry to your mommy?

Jin: We have the same mommy now!

Hwoarang: Fine then, mommy, make Jin stop!

Jun :Stop fighting you two!

Hwoarang: Jin reeks!!

Jin: Does not, you reek-head!

Jun: No one reeks!

Jin: Except for Hwoarang!

Hwoarang: Mommy, did you hear that?!?!?

*Ling drags in Kazuya*

Jun: What happened to Kazzie?

Ling: He got addicted to some weird drug and we crapped in his pants and kept calling me " Queen of the them People who pee". And he really wanted to dance for some reason.

Jun: Substance abuse, I'm ashamed Kazuya.

Ling: I don't think he is listening, he fainted when he stuck his head out and started singing " Wake me up, before you go girl" and he head hit a stop sign. He called the stop sign the Demon of a Evil.

Jin: Honey, isn't Hwoarang a jerk?

Ling: What?

Hwoarang: Am not!!!

Jin: Are too!

Hwoarang :I'll play with your Underwater Fun Barbie dolls!

Jin: You wouldn't dare.

Hwoarang: And I'll make Ken the doll fall in love with Stacey!

Jin: How dare you!! He is meant to be with Barbie!!

Jun: Your grown men fighting over Barbie Dolls!!

Jin: I'll destroy your care-bear collection!

Hwoarang: NOOO!!

Ling: Somebody help, Kazuya is waking up.

Kazuya: I need my drugs!! I mean. My medicine.

Jun :your not getting anything. Your going to a meeting.
AT A HEALTH COUNCIL

Kazuya: I'm Kazuya and I'm a drug addict.

Kid Scout:Um sir, this is a Kid Scout meeting.

Kazuya: Remember people , drugs are bad.

Kid Scout: Didn't you just say you are a drug addict.

Kazuya: Don't patronize me little girl!

Kid Scout: Don't mess with me, I know kick your @$$

Kazuya: You do, yeah ,well you want to mess with me!?!?

Kid: Why not, ya old man!!! *kicks Kazuya in the bad spot *

Kazuya: AHHHH!!

Kid: *does a crescent kick to his head *
AT THE MANSION

Jin: You cheated!!

Hwoarang: I did not cheat!

Jin: You cheated!!!

Hwoarang: I did not cheat, your just a sore loser!

Jin: CHEATER!!

Hwoarang: Sore Loser!!!

Jin: Sore Losing CHEATER!!

Hwoarang: SORE LOSER!!

Ling: Shut up!!

Hwoarang: Your whipped.

Jin: so am not!

Hwoarang: yes your are!

Jin: I am not whipped!

Hwoarang : You so are!

Jin: am not!

Hwoarang: You so are!

Jin: Am not!!

Ling: Shut up both of you!!!!

Jin: I told you I am not whipped!!

Ling: Guys, you're like brothers.. Crap, you guys are.

Jin: And don't you forget, you're a cheater Hwoarang!!!

Ling: Stop!!!!

King: I'll never tell.

Ling: That scared me. what the #@$!@%# are you doing here King?

King: I don't know.

Hwoarang: King isn't it true, Jin is whipped!

King: The worst of the kind!

Jin: I am not!! Just because I like pottery and poetry!

King: WHIPPED

Jin: Am not!!!

Hwoarang: You are whipped!!

Jin: I AM NOT WHIPPED!

King: You are so whipped!
AT FEW DAYS LATER

Jun: Kazuya, I can't believe you got beat up by a kid!!

Ling: And you went missing for 3 days!!

Jin: And got addicted on painkillers!!

Kazuya: I've learned my lesson, prescription drugs are addictive. Just keep little kids or any form of kids away from me.

Jin: So then what about Ling and I?

Kazuya: You guys are stupid.

Hwoarang: DADDY!

Kazuya: *faints*

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PLEASE R&R!! AND I THANK EVERYONE WHO HAS SO FAR!!