I watch you as you lie in bed, your sobs muffled in your pillow, and know that this pain is my fault. You cry for me because you love me, and I am gone.
I am so sorry I had to make that choice and leave you to this pain. If you had known, you would not have let me, you would not have thought yourself worthy, but there was no time and the decision was mine. I did it for you. You are capable of so much love, and so many other great things. You must survive.
I should not have let you love me, but I needed your love. I was selfish. I would not deceive myself by thinking you needed mine as well. I never deserved your love, but nevertheless you loved me, and now you must suffer through this alone. You hurt so much because you loved me so much, and I loved you equally.
You are asleep now, and the Force lets me come to you. I sit on your bedside and gather you in my arms. I gaze down at your beautiful face; even as you sleep tears slide down your cheeks. I wipe them gently away, but still they come. "Master," you cry, as if you know I am here. Shh, my Obi-Wan, rest, I say, and my voice is a breath on the wind. You settle against what would be my chest, and I gently rock you as I always did.
Oh, how I wish I could make you feel better, but I have just this night, I can only hold you a little while. I look still at your face, so beautiful, my beautiful boy, beauty undimmed by the crystal tears tracing down your soft cheeks. I love you so much, child. Remember that. When you have nothing else and it seems even the Force has left you, remember you have love.
I smile as your tears subside. You never could cry for long when I held you. Who will hold you now that I am gone? I know you will let no one near you. You think you are grown now so you will be strong. I know that you still need someone there for you. I do not want to see you lonely or hurt.
You and I are bonded. It has always been that way, since the moment I held you, though I did not know it then. You are not alone. Our bond is unbreakable, though you think it is gone, it is still there, keeping us together.
It is almost morning and I must go. I wish I could stay forever, but I cannot. We will be together again soon enough. I softly stroke your cheek one last time before I lay you back down and kiss your troubled brow. I love you, my son, the wind whispers in your ear. Remember, I am always with you. I stand to leave, looking back at you again.
As I fade away, I hear you mutter in your sleep, "I love you, Master."
I know. I love you, little one, always.
I am so sorry I had to make that choice and leave you to this pain. If you had known, you would not have let me, you would not have thought yourself worthy, but there was no time and the decision was mine. I did it for you. You are capable of so much love, and so many other great things. You must survive.
I should not have let you love me, but I needed your love. I was selfish. I would not deceive myself by thinking you needed mine as well. I never deserved your love, but nevertheless you loved me, and now you must suffer through this alone. You hurt so much because you loved me so much, and I loved you equally.
You are asleep now, and the Force lets me come to you. I sit on your bedside and gather you in my arms. I gaze down at your beautiful face; even as you sleep tears slide down your cheeks. I wipe them gently away, but still they come. "Master," you cry, as if you know I am here. Shh, my Obi-Wan, rest, I say, and my voice is a breath on the wind. You settle against what would be my chest, and I gently rock you as I always did.
Oh, how I wish I could make you feel better, but I have just this night, I can only hold you a little while. I look still at your face, so beautiful, my beautiful boy, beauty undimmed by the crystal tears tracing down your soft cheeks. I love you so much, child. Remember that. When you have nothing else and it seems even the Force has left you, remember you have love.
I smile as your tears subside. You never could cry for long when I held you. Who will hold you now that I am gone? I know you will let no one near you. You think you are grown now so you will be strong. I know that you still need someone there for you. I do not want to see you lonely or hurt.
You and I are bonded. It has always been that way, since the moment I held you, though I did not know it then. You are not alone. Our bond is unbreakable, though you think it is gone, it is still there, keeping us together.
It is almost morning and I must go. I wish I could stay forever, but I cannot. We will be together again soon enough. I softly stroke your cheek one last time before I lay you back down and kiss your troubled brow. I love you, my son, the wind whispers in your ear. Remember, I am always with you. I stand to leave, looking back at you again.
As I fade away, I hear you mutter in your sleep, "I love you, Master."
I know. I love you, little one, always.