We're back with the fourth installment of this little story. If any of you are offended, let me say: I told you so. I said I'd do my best to irritate everyone. So don't look surprised. have fun and loosen up. If you are a true fan, you can live with it. I can. As a true fan I must admit I don't own Final Fantasy. Or the Matrix for the obvious reference towards the end. Read to find out.
Cas: I'm back! Now we're having the Mage contest. If Rinoa, Aeris, and Yuna could come down please.
Rinoa: Can we do this later? I was going to have some private time with Squall.
Aeris: Me too.
Rinoa: You stay away from my man you whore!
Aeris: You keep tall, dark and depressing. I was talking about Cloud.
Rinoa: Sorry.
Aeris: Besides, blondes are more fun to play with anyway.
Rinoa: And you're one to talk, Ms. Bleached blonde?
Cas: Ladies, ladies. As much as I think the popularity of this fanfic would go up with the inclusion of a catfight, I'm not going to allow it. And... Hey, where's Yuna?
Yuna: Come on Tidus, don't be silly. It'll only be for a couple of hours. Let go of that lamppost.
Tidus: Nothing doing! I ain't going in there!
Cas: Yuna, have Bahamut let go of Tidus. You have a contest to enter and I am not willing to postpone for a week until you get out of the museum. On top of that Tidus is needed for the next contest and I could use a few judges. This means he needs to be sane.
Yuna: Fine, go Bahamut!
Cas: There, you can let go now Tidus.
Tidus: Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
Cas: Whatever, I'll be back with a crowbar later. Alright, you three will now use your most powerful magic spell and cause the most amount of destruction possible.
Yuna: Summons count?
Cas: No, no summoning of any kind. It has to be a spell or limit break. Now for a twist, let's start things off with Yuna.
Yuna: Well, without my summons, I'll still give it my best. Let's see, um. Hey Lulu? What's the name of the most powerful spell? You know, the ultimate one?
Lulu: Ultima, I've told you before.
Yuna: Oh yeah, I forgot. Ultima!
Energy crackled and erupted into a ball of pure power, disintegrating everything in its path. When the smoke cleared, a sizable crater was formed.
Cas: Nice, I'd guess at least nine meters in diameter. Real good. Now it's Rinoa's turn.
Rinoa: You won't beat me skank. Angel Wing! Ultima!
With the heavenly power boost from her angelic limit, the trash-talking Rinoa unleashed her own version of the ultimate spell.
Cas: Hmm. Thirty feet in diameter. Rinoa beats Yuna.
Yuna: (Mutters under breath)
Rinoa: What was that you two bit hack of a mage?
Yuna: I said God $*&#@!* damn you, you $#^*ing @#$%ing piece of &#$&%ing &^@$!
Tidus: I didn't know she knew that kind of language.
Yuna: Well, I have been talking to the man over there with the spear.
Cas: Cid? That figures. And now it's Aeris' turn. Hey Aeris? Why are you praying? You don't really seem to be casting a spell.
Rinoa: She must be praying to not be totally embarrassed.
Cas: (looking down) Strange, I don't recall there being any clouds today? (Looks up) Or a total eclipse of the sun for that matter. Or a gigantic meteor hurtling towards the earth! Hit the decks everybody!
One earth shattering kaboom later.
Cas: The Farmer's Almanac is going to hear about this. I think Aeris wins with a mini Meteor and the small ocean. Lets go to the next contest. Since a brawl or a limit contest wouldn't do for this group, I think a combat round is required. Although it would cut things short. That's alright! And before I forget, here are the result of the Most Villainous Villain contest. Worst Villain goes to Seymour for being a pathetic loser who has gotten killed at least twice and didn't make a very impressive comeback either time. Best Dressed goes to Sephiroth. And that of course means that Kuja is the Most Villainous Villain of all time. We don't have an award, since it would mean I'd have to buy one. On to the next challenge.
At the next challenge.
Cas: Here are the rules. Each of you have been given your boyfriend's sword. You now have to beat each other up with it. I have set up several barriers to protect you from actually cutting each other so you can let loose. Remember, I'm doing all this for fun. And I don't really care that none of you know how to use a sword. That's your problem. Begin!
Rinoa hefts the Lionheart, testing it's weight. I should have weight-trained at some point she thought. At least that bimbo in the pink dress can't move. Aeris was struggling to even pick up the Buster sword. The possibility of her actually swinging it around was laughable. Rinoa shifted her weight to better handle the sword and charged Yuna.
Yuna was preoccupied with her own problems. She was seriously considering asking for a timeout so she could change into something that matched the Caladbolg she was leaning on. It wasn't until Rinoa slashed down at her did she notice anything. Luckily the barrier was up and only knocked her down.
Cas: And Rinoa has knocked Yuna down. It looked like she never saw it coming. Yuna is trying to block but I think her preference for rods has brought about her defeat. And Yuna is down for the count. Rinoa! I said she's down for the count. You can stop now. Let's check on Aeris. She has managed to pick up the Buster sword. This is not looking good for her. The Buster sword is just too big for her to use and she has to use it in order to win. You can tell she's frustrated. Just look at the anger on her face. And... hey! She picked it up. Aeris has picked up the Buster sword. And now she's throwing it? How can she do that? Rinoa has dodged it easily enough, but wait! It's coming back around! Aeris is floating the Buster sword using her Cetra powers. She can do that?
Cloud: She does it for most of her limits. Just wait until she gets serious.
Cas: Things don't look good for Rinoa. Wait, where'd she go? What? Squall has just told me Rinoa has used her Sorceress powers and is currently under the ground. She apparently nullified the molecular structure or some such and is beyond Aeris' reach. And there she is. Rinoa has popped up behind Aeris and is bracing the Gunblade. Rinoa has made use of the Gunblade's secondary function as a gun.
Aeris looks behind her and holds out her hand. The bullets slow to a stop and hang in midair, directly in front of her. Aeris picks up a bullet and tosses it to the side. The rest drop to the ground. Summoning the Buster sword, Aeris lifts herself off the ground and flies toward Rinoa. Rinoa panics and fires several more shots.
Cas: How will Aeris dodge this barrage? She doesn't, she disappeared! I think I see her, but she's all over the place. And Rinoa seems to be getting hit. I can't count the blows. And Aeris has stopped, but Rinoa hasn't. She is still being hit, even after Aeris stopped. I think it's safe to say Rinoa is out. Aeris is the winner!
Aeris spins the Buster sword over her head before holding it against her back.
Cas: And she finishes with Cloud's ending move. That is a powerful swordswoman there.
Aeris: Hey Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: What?
Aeris: I owe you one!
Aeris flings the Buster sword at Sephiroth. Sephiroth, who wasn't paying attention, gets hit in the stomach.
Aeris: How you like it now! You don't mess with me!
Cas: That will end this chapter. But just wait! Next I'll bring a few fun surprises.
How'd you like that? Let me know. Read and Review.
Cas: I'm back! Now we're having the Mage contest. If Rinoa, Aeris, and Yuna could come down please.
Rinoa: Can we do this later? I was going to have some private time with Squall.
Aeris: Me too.
Rinoa: You stay away from my man you whore!
Aeris: You keep tall, dark and depressing. I was talking about Cloud.
Rinoa: Sorry.
Aeris: Besides, blondes are more fun to play with anyway.
Rinoa: And you're one to talk, Ms. Bleached blonde?
Cas: Ladies, ladies. As much as I think the popularity of this fanfic would go up with the inclusion of a catfight, I'm not going to allow it. And... Hey, where's Yuna?
Yuna: Come on Tidus, don't be silly. It'll only be for a couple of hours. Let go of that lamppost.
Tidus: Nothing doing! I ain't going in there!
Cas: Yuna, have Bahamut let go of Tidus. You have a contest to enter and I am not willing to postpone for a week until you get out of the museum. On top of that Tidus is needed for the next contest and I could use a few judges. This means he needs to be sane.
Yuna: Fine, go Bahamut!
Cas: There, you can let go now Tidus.
Tidus: Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
Cas: Whatever, I'll be back with a crowbar later. Alright, you three will now use your most powerful magic spell and cause the most amount of destruction possible.
Yuna: Summons count?
Cas: No, no summoning of any kind. It has to be a spell or limit break. Now for a twist, let's start things off with Yuna.
Yuna: Well, without my summons, I'll still give it my best. Let's see, um. Hey Lulu? What's the name of the most powerful spell? You know, the ultimate one?
Lulu: Ultima, I've told you before.
Yuna: Oh yeah, I forgot. Ultima!
Energy crackled and erupted into a ball of pure power, disintegrating everything in its path. When the smoke cleared, a sizable crater was formed.
Cas: Nice, I'd guess at least nine meters in diameter. Real good. Now it's Rinoa's turn.
Rinoa: You won't beat me skank. Angel Wing! Ultima!
With the heavenly power boost from her angelic limit, the trash-talking Rinoa unleashed her own version of the ultimate spell.
Cas: Hmm. Thirty feet in diameter. Rinoa beats Yuna.
Yuna: (Mutters under breath)
Rinoa: What was that you two bit hack of a mage?
Yuna: I said God $*&#@!* damn you, you $#^*ing @#$%ing piece of &#$&%ing &^@$!
Tidus: I didn't know she knew that kind of language.
Yuna: Well, I have been talking to the man over there with the spear.
Cas: Cid? That figures. And now it's Aeris' turn. Hey Aeris? Why are you praying? You don't really seem to be casting a spell.
Rinoa: She must be praying to not be totally embarrassed.
Cas: (looking down) Strange, I don't recall there being any clouds today? (Looks up) Or a total eclipse of the sun for that matter. Or a gigantic meteor hurtling towards the earth! Hit the decks everybody!
One earth shattering kaboom later.
Cas: The Farmer's Almanac is going to hear about this. I think Aeris wins with a mini Meteor and the small ocean. Lets go to the next contest. Since a brawl or a limit contest wouldn't do for this group, I think a combat round is required. Although it would cut things short. That's alright! And before I forget, here are the result of the Most Villainous Villain contest. Worst Villain goes to Seymour for being a pathetic loser who has gotten killed at least twice and didn't make a very impressive comeback either time. Best Dressed goes to Sephiroth. And that of course means that Kuja is the Most Villainous Villain of all time. We don't have an award, since it would mean I'd have to buy one. On to the next challenge.
At the next challenge.
Cas: Here are the rules. Each of you have been given your boyfriend's sword. You now have to beat each other up with it. I have set up several barriers to protect you from actually cutting each other so you can let loose. Remember, I'm doing all this for fun. And I don't really care that none of you know how to use a sword. That's your problem. Begin!
Rinoa hefts the Lionheart, testing it's weight. I should have weight-trained at some point she thought. At least that bimbo in the pink dress can't move. Aeris was struggling to even pick up the Buster sword. The possibility of her actually swinging it around was laughable. Rinoa shifted her weight to better handle the sword and charged Yuna.
Yuna was preoccupied with her own problems. She was seriously considering asking for a timeout so she could change into something that matched the Caladbolg she was leaning on. It wasn't until Rinoa slashed down at her did she notice anything. Luckily the barrier was up and only knocked her down.
Cas: And Rinoa has knocked Yuna down. It looked like she never saw it coming. Yuna is trying to block but I think her preference for rods has brought about her defeat. And Yuna is down for the count. Rinoa! I said she's down for the count. You can stop now. Let's check on Aeris. She has managed to pick up the Buster sword. This is not looking good for her. The Buster sword is just too big for her to use and she has to use it in order to win. You can tell she's frustrated. Just look at the anger on her face. And... hey! She picked it up. Aeris has picked up the Buster sword. And now she's throwing it? How can she do that? Rinoa has dodged it easily enough, but wait! It's coming back around! Aeris is floating the Buster sword using her Cetra powers. She can do that?
Cloud: She does it for most of her limits. Just wait until she gets serious.
Cas: Things don't look good for Rinoa. Wait, where'd she go? What? Squall has just told me Rinoa has used her Sorceress powers and is currently under the ground. She apparently nullified the molecular structure or some such and is beyond Aeris' reach. And there she is. Rinoa has popped up behind Aeris and is bracing the Gunblade. Rinoa has made use of the Gunblade's secondary function as a gun.
Aeris looks behind her and holds out her hand. The bullets slow to a stop and hang in midair, directly in front of her. Aeris picks up a bullet and tosses it to the side. The rest drop to the ground. Summoning the Buster sword, Aeris lifts herself off the ground and flies toward Rinoa. Rinoa panics and fires several more shots.
Cas: How will Aeris dodge this barrage? She doesn't, she disappeared! I think I see her, but she's all over the place. And Rinoa seems to be getting hit. I can't count the blows. And Aeris has stopped, but Rinoa hasn't. She is still being hit, even after Aeris stopped. I think it's safe to say Rinoa is out. Aeris is the winner!
Aeris spins the Buster sword over her head before holding it against her back.
Cas: And she finishes with Cloud's ending move. That is a powerful swordswoman there.
Aeris: Hey Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: What?
Aeris: I owe you one!
Aeris flings the Buster sword at Sephiroth. Sephiroth, who wasn't paying attention, gets hit in the stomach.
Aeris: How you like it now! You don't mess with me!
Cas: That will end this chapter. But just wait! Next I'll bring a few fun surprises.
How'd you like that? Let me know. Read and Review.