Disclaimer: See the first chapter....

WARNINGS: Just to remind you, there's going to be Remus/Sirius slash!

Note: Yes, yes! I *KNOW* the years are wrong! I'm sorry! I won't do it again!

Credits: My eternal gratitude, Kudos and love to my mum, who came up with the name of Remus' lab partner for me. I hate making up names, I'm so glad she came up with a good one.

First Appearances: Jim's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Known here as Grampa and Gramma.

*SPOILER WARNING*: Actually the very first line (Sirius' quote) is a huge spoiler for PoA, and more comes later. But if you've read this far in the story, you have obviously read PoA and *know* who the guilty party is. If you *still* don't know by now, shame on you! :P


~*~*~*~*~

Year 10 - The New Arrival


What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed? Only innocent lives, Peter!
-Sirius Black, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, pg. 375



~July 31, 1984~

You're going to get us killed! Remus shouted in Sirius' ear, trying to make himself heard over the roar of the motorcycle's engine.
No I won't! Sirius shouted back, swerving around a station wagon.
If we end up dead I'm never speaking to you again! Remus yelled.
Trust me, I know what I'm doing! Sirius yelled, narrowly cutting off a fruit truck. The truck driver blared on his horn, and Sirius jabbed his middle finger back at the driver without a pause.
Keep both your hands on the handlebars! Remus shrieked.
Honestly, you're worse than my mum! Sirius bellowed, turning down the exit to the hospital. They skidded to a stop in the parking lot and dismounted the bike (Remus on wobbly legs) and hurried inside.
Just beyond the door to the chapel on the first floor was a door marked Danger, Keep Out!'. After a quick check to see no one was around, they ducked inside and hurried down a short, dim corridor, at the end of which was a stretch of plain brick wall. Remus and Sirius paid no heed to the solid brick and walked through the wall.
They appeared in the waiting room of the hidden wing of the hospital used by London's magical community. They approached the receptionist, a lovely young girl who eyed them both with interest as Sirius asked for the room they wanted.
The receptionist ruffled through a sheaf of papers. Mrs. Potter? Room 204, upstairs and just to your left.
Sirius thanked her and they hurried upstairs. Room 204's door was open, and they could see Lily sitting up in the bed, holding a bundle of blankets, and James sitting in a chair beside the bed. Sirius knocked on the doorframe.
Lily looked up with a wide smile when she saw who it was. Siri, Remmie, come in and see the baby!
Well, I didn't come here just to admire the decor, Sirius teased as he and Remus entered.
Aww, come on, it's so inspired, James teased back.
It's not so bad, I've seen uglier hospitals, Lily said. Pull up a rock, she invited Sirius and Remus, who were now faced with the horrors of sitting in the terribly uncomfortable hospital chairs. Once they had gotten as comfortable as possible, Lily held the bundle out to Sirius. Guys, meet Harry Potter.

Harry was a tiny, yet chubby baby. He had a swatch of black hair, and he looked exactly like James. As soon as Sirius settled Harry in his arms, Harry opened his eyes, which were the same brilliant green as Lily's. Harry goggled up at the two men smiling down at him, apparently wondering what had happened to his parents. But he didn't cry or scream. Instead he tilted his head to the side and looked from Sirius to Remus and back.
He's beautiful, Sirius said, a hint of awe in his voice. Too bad he's going to end up looking just like you, Jim.
James scowled at him, but Sirius just grinned back at him. I was kidding, Prongs. Can't you take a joke?
Harry, meanwhile, had discovered something new. The man holding him had very long hair. It was almost as long as his mother's. Harry stared at in fascination. It was the glossiest, shiniest thing he had ever seen (short as his life was), and it intrigued him. Was it as soft as his blanket? He'd have to see.
He stretched out a chubby fist, seized a handful of that lovely, silky thing, and pulled.

Sirius yelped. Harry, no! OUCH! Harry! Stop pulling my hair!
Oh, Harry, no! Lily said, but she was giggling.
Remus gently pried Harry's fingers open. No, no, Harry, that's not for pulling.
whimpered Sirius. He handed Harry to Remus and began hunting in the pockets of his jacket for a rubber band. I suppose I'd better tie my hair back around him.
Harry looked up at the new man holding him. This man didn't have long hair. His was a honey-gold colour, short but shaggy, with hints of silver in it. It wasn't as fascinating as the other man's hair. But this man was wearing a sweatshirt, and the hood's drawstring dangled temptingly over Harry's head. He made a grab for it, missed, tried again. He missed again. He frowned in concentration, and the man laughed gently.

He's a smart one, Remus said, tapping Harry's nose and smiling back at the baby, who gurgled happily and grabbed hold of Remus' finger.
Too smart, Sirius said, still massaging his head. Nearly scalped me.
Oh, buck up, James laughed. You're a wimp, Siri.
Aww, shut up. Carefully making sure his ponytail was out of reach, Sirius leaned over Harry and kissed his forehead. Good to know you, kid.
Harry frowned at him, disappointed. Where had that lovely, soft black thing gone? He had liked it a lot, but apparently the man hadn't liked it when he tried to play with it. Then Harry's eye caught another interesting object. A glittery silver thing, hanging from the man's ear. What was that? He looked closely at it. It was even more interesting than the black thing. Would the man mind if he tried to play with this?
Sirius saw Harry's hand making a grab for his earring out of the corner of his eye, and sat up quickly. Too quickly, in fact, and the chair toppled over backwards with Sirius still in it. The crash startled Harry, and he began to cry. Remus hastily gave him back to his mother, who kissed his forehead and rocked him. Harry stopped crying almost immediately.
Sirius whined from the floor. This is just not my day.
You're dangerous, Harry, Remus said to the baby.
Harry gave him a puzzled look, as if to say, Who, me?, making the grown-ups laugh, even Sirius, who was struggling to get out from under the evil chair, which had flipped over at the last second and pinned him under it.
You know, I hate hospitals, Sirius said, disentangling himself from the chair and setting it upright. How long d'you plan on staying here, Lil? I'd rather fawn over Harry in casa Potter than in this horrid place.
Three days at the most, Lily said. But the doctor says we're doing well enough to leave sooner than that, if we want.
Sounds good, said Remus, and an idea popped into his head. He filed it away for future reference, and said to Harry, You're lucky we even made it here, Harry.
You drove that deathtrap here? Lily asked, horrified, looking rather sternly at Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes.
Please, Lil! My bike is *not* a deathtrap! And we were perfectly safe!
We almost got hit by a truck! Remus interrupted. And Siri nearly sideswiped a station wagon full of children -
Oh, I didn't even come close!

James and Lily exchanged amused glances as Sirius and Remus bickered. Sometimes, James reflected, watching his son (who was watching Sirius and Remus avidly), those two were like an old married couple....

~August 2 - the Potters'~

Ow! Watch it! Sirius whined as Peter dropped the end of the crib, causing it to fall on Sirius' foot.
Peter apologized hastily, picking his end up once more and allowing Sirius to get a better grip on the other side.
Sirius scowled at him and blew a stray strand of hair out of his eyes. Let's try again, shall we? One - two - three!
He and Peter lifted Harry's crib and staggered down the hall with it. There was a bad moment when it looked like they weren't going to be able to squeeze it through the door of Harry's bedroom, but they managed it in the end, and set it down in the middle of the room, panting. Grace and Remus entered behind them, shaking their heads.
You know, it would have been ever so much more intelligent to bring the *pieces* in and put the crib together right here, Grace pointed out.
And easier on yourselves to use *magic* to lift it in the first place, Remus said. Peter and Sirius scowled at them, but Remus smiled and went to put his arms around Sirius. Lighten up. File it away for future reference, then. It looks lovely.
Jim and Lil will be so surprised, Grace said happily, checking her watch. We'd better hurry up and get the rocking chair and changing table in here, before they get home. They should be back any minute...

James and Lily were bringing Harry home that very day, despite the fact that James had had no time at all to put together Harry's crib and move it and all Harry's other furniture into his room. This had occurred to Remus on the day Harry had been born, and as soon as he and Sirius had gotten home that night, he had sent Rose and Oberon off with letters for Grace and Peter, asking them to come and help himself and Sirius set Harry's things up. Make it easier on Jim and Lil, he had written. Surprisingly enough, they had both agreed, even though they hadn't talked to each other ever since Grace had called off their engagement last year. It had been a little awkward at first, but an hour later, everyone was at perfect ease. And for once, Peter wasn't behaving strangely. It was almost like being at Hogwarts again, Remus thought.

Twenty minutes later, everything was set up, the lunch made, and they were all sitting on the front porch, waiting for the Potters to arrive.
Where could they be? Grace wondered aloud just as Remus was thinking the same thing.
shrugged Sirius. Maybe the traffic's bad in London, or something... don't forget, Jim drives like an old woman.
You say that about everyone who doesn't drive as recklessly as you, Grace sniggered.
Oh, be quiet, grumbled Sirius. Have you ever driven with Remmie?
Remus had decided it was time for him, at twenty, to learn how to drive. It was, he argued over the protests of his mother and his lover, a necessary skill. It'll look less suspicious to our Muggle neighbours, he told Sirius one night after love, as they laid in each other's arms discussing Remus' decision. All Muggle men have driver's licenses, wouldn't it look suspicious to the Muggle policemen if I didn't have one?
D'you *plan* on getting caught by the Muggle policemen? Sirius teased, tickling him, which put a not entirely unwelcome stop to the conversation. Later, Sirius admitted Remus had a point, and agreed to teach him how to drive. It turned out Remus was an extremely cautious and *slow* driver.

I'm not that slow, Remus argued, And besides, you drive too *fast*. You almost got us killed the other day.
Sirius rolled his eyes and said in a potentially-confidential whisper to Grace and Peter, He'll be on about that for the rest of our lives, you know. We'll be a hundred and nine and he'll say every day, Siri, remember the time we went to visit Lil in the hospital and you almost killed us?' I'll be on my deathbed and he'll say, I love you Siri, have fun wherever you end up, and remember the day you almost got us killed?'
Remus growled at his boyfriend, but before they could argue any further, James' cute little Volkswagen Beetle pulled up to the curb. Whyever James wanted a Beetle was a mystery to them all, seeing as James was a *tall* man and the Beetle was *not* built for tall men. As he opened the door and climbed out, Sirius began to chuckle, picturing James driving with his knees under his chin. James paused on his way around the car to open the door for Lily and tried to glare at Sirius, but couldn't help smiling as well.
D'you find something comical about my appearance while I was driving my automobile? he demanded.
giggled Sirius. That car... and you, Jim... it's like.. a clown car or something!
It's not that small, James said defensively, helping his wife out of the Beetle. At least it's not some banged-up hotrod with a huge dent in the door.
Hey, that wasn't my fault! Sirius argued, going over to grab Lily's suitcase. Some old lady bashed my car opening her door when I took Remmie out to do the shopping.
You two, sighed Lily, planting kisses on Remus', Peter's, and Grace's cheeks as she stepped onto the porch. What exactly are all you people doing lurking on my front porch, by the way?
they said, looking somewhat shifty.
Just my luck, Siri's booby-trapped the place', Lily thought to herself. As soon as she entered the living room, she frowned. It looked... neater than usual. Oh, that was because Harry's furniture was... gone?
Befuddled, she walked down the hallway and peeped into Harry's room. Her jaw dropped when she saw the neat white crib and the honey-coloured changing table and rocker neatly set up, then she burst into tears.
What is it, Lil? James asked, alarmed, then peered over her shoulder. Five seconds later, *he* burst into tears.

Barking, howling mad, Sirius sighed.

~September 13~

I don't like delays, Voldemort said crossly, scowling down at the figure prostrated before him.
Yes, My Lord, I'm sorry, the man murmured. But Dumbledore is being very careful - he hasn't even told James and Lily what's to be done yet, so I haven't the slightest clue...
Muggle-loving fool, Voldemort scowled. Why won't he get on with it?
W-well, My Lord, I think Dumbledore suspects someone is passing information to you...
I know that, idiot! Voldemort turned to stroke his pet snake. The fool isn't as stupid as he looks. I know he knows, but since he does not know who it is, he cannot make a move...
Nagini hissed as Voldemort thoughtfully traced the diamonds on her back.
You may go, he said to the cloaked man, who bowed and hurried out as always.
Their time will come... Voldemort muttered to himself, still stroking Nagini. No matter what the Mudblood-lover does, the Potters are doomed....

~September 14 - the Potter's house~

Harry's bottles are in the cupboard over the sink, Lily instructed, shrugging into her coat. Warm him up one around five or so - see if he'll go down around six - extra diapers are in his bedroom beside the changing table - all his toys are-
Lil, we'll be fine, Sirius said patiently. We're not completely helpless; I expect Remmie and I can take care of a baby for a couple of hours. Now go, before you're late...
James and Lily were getting ready to leave that moment to see Dumbledore, who had asked to see them as soon as possible. What he wanted, James didn't know, but Dumbledore's letter had sounded extremely urgent. The only course of action was to go, and leave Harry home under the watchful eyes of Sirius and Remus.
Siri's right, Lil, do stop fussing, James said, resting a hand on his wife's shoulder. Come on, we should go.
All right, Lily said, biting her lip. She kissed Harry three or four times before she and James Disapperated.

Once they were gone, Remus and Sirius held their breath and eyed Harry warily, expecting him to burst into tears at any second. But he didn't, only giggled and waved his feet in the air and chewed on his teddy bear's arm.
Well behaved kid, aren't you? Sirius asked, leaning over to kiss his godson. Good. No trouble for me and Remmie, then.
Harry gurgled in response and held his arms out to Sirius, obviously asking to be picked up. Sirius was more than happy to oblige.

~Meanwhile, Dumbledore's Office~

Good evening, Lily, James, Dumbledore said, opening the door for the Potters. His expression was very grave, but his voice was warm enough. Please, have a seat.
James and Lily seated themselves in the chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk as Dumbledore resumed his own seat. (It was incredible how much nicer these chairs were to sit in when you *weren't* in trouble, James reflected.)
What's wrong, sir? he asked the headmaster. Your letter sounded very urgent... is something wrong?
Dumbledore heaved a heavy sigh. Well, I have some rather upsetting news for you. I... don't know how to tell this to you. But recently I received an owl from one of the spies I have working for me. This spy has been keeping a close watch on the activities of Lord Voldemort and his followers, and has provided me with two pieces of startling information.
What is it? Lily asked quietly. She looked quite pale but still rather calm. Dumbledore marveled at her courage, and took a deep breath.
I'm afraid that.... Lord Voldemort.... wants you to join his ranks, he said hesitantly.
James' brown eyes flashed dangerously. Well, he's not getting us, he said quietly.
I know. And Lord Voldemort knows that as well, Dumbledore responded. But I am afraid, knowing he cannot recruit you, he will try to... *eliminate* you both, if it is at all possible. And Harry as well.
Lily reached out and grasped James' hand very tightly. But when she spoke, her voice was steady. What else did your spy tell you?
Well... he believes that one of your close friends may be passing information about yourselves to Voldemort, Dumbledore said unhappily.
The Potters gaped at him. Finally James seemed to recover his voice and he stammered, N - no way! I can't imagine Remmie or Pete or Grace being spies for Voldemort.... and Siri... God, he's my best friend. He'd rather die than betray us, I know it.
I understand, Dumbledore said quietly. In his own mind, Sirius seemed like the most likely suspect. So close to James and Lily.... being Harry's godfather.... he'd know absolutely anything that went on with the Potters, and was around them more that anyone else was. While it was possible Remus or Peter could be the spy, Dumbledore was highly doubtful on both men. Remus was a sweet, trusting type; he would never betray anyone, Dumbledore was sure, but he was also quite gullible. Dumbledore knew it would probably be very easy for Sirius to hide something like this from his lover.... after all, he wasn't one of the cleverest students ever at Hogwarts for nothing. And Peter.... while Peter was a close friend of the Potters, it wasn't very likely that he knew much about their day-to-day life....
I understand, Dumbledore repeated, and frowned deeply.
Isn't there anything we can do? Lily asked anxiously. Her mind was on her son - he was perfectly safe with Sirius and Remus, but the thought of the Dark Lord hunting down her own baby terrified her.
I believe there might be, Dumbledore said quietly. We would have to preform the Fidelius Charm. It is a spell that magically conceals a secret within the soul of a living person... we will choose someone to be your Secret-Keeper, and once the charm is preformed, Lord Voldemort will never be able to find you or Harry - unless the Secret-Keeper chooses to reveal your whereabouts.
It sounds pretty fool-proof, Lily said, her brow furrowed in concentration. Are you sure this is our best bet?
Dumbledore said quietly. But it is very complex, as I said, and would take a while to be preformed. And you would need to seriously consider who you would choose as the Secret-Keeper.It is not a decision to be taken lightly.
Yes, sir, James said, as the three of them rose to their feet. Thank you, sir.
You're very welcome, Dumbledore said, walking the Potters to the door. As he opened it for them, he smiled for the first time during the meeting. And by the way - how is young Master Harry, may I ask?
He's wonderful, Lily said proudly. An angel. Sirius and Remus are staying with him now.
Which makes me cold with fear, James whispered to her as they left.

~September 15 - The Leaky Cauldron~

So what did Dumbledore have to say? Sirius asked in a low voice, glancing around uneasily.
Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter were sitting in a corner booth at the Leaky Cauldron the day after the Potters' meeting with Dumbledore. James had owled his friends early that morning, asking them to meet him at the pub that night. He had something to tell them, he had said. But he seemed most reluctant to discuss it all the same. And he hadn't brought Lily, or invited Grace. That just made things look worse. It was actually the first time the Marauders had all been together without anyone else since they left Hogwarts, but they weren't particularly enjoying it.
James looked around cautiously and lowered his voice so much that his friends had to lean close to hear him. Well.... he says Voldemort wants me and Lil on his side.
Sirius growled. But he won't get you, of course!
That's the worst of it, James muttered. Voldemort knows he can't convince us to join him. So instead, Dumbledore thinks he might try to ... *kill* us. Harry too.
They gaped at him in shock.
He wouldn't, Remus said weakly.
He would, James and Sirius grumbled in unison.
What could be worse? Peter said hopelessly.
James heaved a heavy sigh. Dumbledore says..... somebody's passing information about us to Voldemort.
Nobody said a word. James kept his head down, but glancing up from under his messy bangs, he took careful study of the expressions on his best friends' faces. They all looked stunned beyond belief and frightened to death, but he saw nothing on their faces that came close to revealing guilt or knowledge of the culprit. Good, then. Either they weren't the ones - or - he winced at the thought - the guilty party was a *very* good actor. He raised his head and stirred his drink unhappily.
Whoever he is... Sirius said, slowly and deliberately, I will find him and tear - him - apart.
You don't have any ideas, Jim? Remus asked desperately.
None at all.... James sighed.

~October 1 - London College of Advanced Magical Study~

Okay, now, the stewed slugs go in *after* the porcupine quills, right? Remus asked, turning to his lab partner. Melinda Petrie was a mousy-haired, good-humoured girl, and quite smart. Remus liked her a lot - somehow she reminded him of Lily.
Yes, that's right, Melinda said, nodding. Remus, you're better at potion-brewing than you think you are.
Remus blushed. Oh, not really, he said, quite flattered all the same. If it weren't for you, I'd have gotten stuck at the second step.
With a shy giggle, Melinda added the stewed slugs to the potion. You'd be fine, she said. Let's chalk it up to teamwork. She peered into the cauldron and looked from the bubbling potion to her notes. It looks like it should. Have a peek.
Remus smiled and took a look. Their potion was a deep, navy blue and very frothy. So far, so good, he agreed.
Melinda said suddenly. Don't you know that Severus Snape character? She pointed across the room to where Snape and his partner were occupied with their own potion.
We were in the same year at Hogwarts, Remus said cautiously. But we really didn't like each other too much.
But you'd know if he were acting strangely, Melinda insisted. Wouldn't you? I mean, he's been acting oddly for a while now.
What d'you mean?
Well, last week he missed a Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, Melinda frowned. And that doesn't tally with what you've told me about him at all. And I hear he's been hanging around with some pretty shifty people.
Like who? Remus frowned, stirring the potion as Melinda added chunks of chopped dragon liver to the cauldron.
Darien Avery.... Evan Rosier... Grub Jointly...
Remus gawked at her. G-G-Grub Jointly?
D'you know him?
He's my brother-in-law, Remus said, then, afraid his voice sounded weird - But Snape used to hang out with those same people at Hogwarts. What do you think he'd be up to?
I don't know.... but... do you think he could be in league with You-Know-Who?
Remus suppressed a shudder. Don't talk like that. I admit Snape's a tad -er - unusual, but supporting You-Know-Who.... He paused. Could it be true? Snape was definitely evil enough, or at least he seemed so at times... but really! In league with the Dark Lord?
After class ended, Melinda and Remus hurried to the library to look for some books to help them on their upcoming term paper. Along the way, Remus fell to pondering Sirius' strange behaviour. Sirius had been *very* secretive lately, and Remus couldn't figure out why. Their relationship couldn't be better; so whatever he was up to, it was not Remus' fault. It had occurred to Remus that maybe Sirius was just concerned for James and Lily... God knew how worried they all were for the Potters' safety...
Penny for your thoughts, Melinda said teasingly.
Oh! Sorry, Remus said quickly, realizing they had reached the library while he had been thinking about Sirius. It's nothing, really...

~October 10 - the Black/Lupin residence~

So that's Sirius, Melinda said, amused, as she and Remus set their things up at the dining room table. She was looking over at the couch where Sirius was sprawled, fast asleep, an arm over his eyes. Melinda was visiting so she and Remus could work on their term paper, and it was the first time she'd seen Remus' lover.
That's Sirius, Remus replied with a smile.
He's cute. You have good taste. Melinda said approvingly.
Remus said, blushing. He's rather good at the housework - well, now that I've trained him - I think I'll keep him.
Melinda giggled as she opened Remus' copy of Moste Potent Potions. I can't believe you have this, she gushed, looking down at the mouldy, water-spotted pages. And it's so *old*.
It was Siri's great-grandfather's copy, according to him, Remus said, bringing some glasses of juice out of the kitchen. What his great-grandfather was doing with Moste Potent Potions, I don't want to know.
Who cares, as long as we can use it for our research, Melinda said, taking the glass Remus offered her and sitting down. Potion antidotes are *not* my most favorite research topic.
Nor are they mine, Remus agreed. Anything to do with Potions is a disaster area for me. But the best thing we can do is work on it together. Here - you start there, and I'll start with this - he indicated a heavy book in front of him, titled History of Antidotes' - and when you find something relevant, write it down. We'll stop in an hour or so and compare notes.
Melinda agreed, and they settled down to work. For the next twenty minutes, there was no sound except for pages turning and quills scratching on paper. But the peace was broken by Sirius, who shuffled into the dining room, blinking sleepily and shaking his hair out of his eyes.
What time is it, Remmie? he mumbled.
Remus glanced up at the clock. Half-past four.
Sirius suddenly looked wide-awake. He noticed Melinda, blushed, and mumbled, He rubbed his eyes and grumbled. I've got to go out. I'm late already.
Where are you going? Remus asked absentmindedly, carefully copying down a paragraph from his book.
Sirius said evasively, lacing up his boots. He gave Remus a kiss, shook hands with Melinda, and Disapperated.

Where would he be going? Melinda asked ten minutes later.
Remus shrugged.
I thought you'd be a little more concerned, Melinda said, reddening slightly as Remus looked up from his book.
What d'you mean?
I'd be afraid he was - well - cheating on me.
Siri'd never do that, Remus said, going back to his book. Trust me.
I suppose you know him better than I do, Melinda sighed, going back to her work as well.

~November 1~

Lord Voldemort paced around his chamber, frowning deeply and wondering what was taking so long. He scowled, his red eyes flashing dangerously. Didn't anyone realize time was very important?
At that moment, someone knocked on the door.
Voldemort growled.
A man entered the room, wearing a black, hooded cloak that hid his face entirely. Voldemort gave a satisfied nod. Finally. You have arrived. You are late.
I'm sorry, My Lord, the hooded man murmured softly. It was beyond my control.
Voldemort seriously doubted this, but let it pass. You have new information for me?
Some, My Lord, some, the man whispered. It's been hard following the Potters without arousing suspicion - very hard indeed-
Out with it, hissed Voldemort, taking a menacing step towards the man. What pitiful information do you have for me now?
They know you're after them, the man mumbled. Met with Dumbledore.... told them everything...
Voldemort cursed angrily. That Muggle-loving fool! He turned back to his servant. What else do you know?
The man shivered. Dumbledore... wants to try the Fidelius Charm......
With another angry curse, Voldemort gave his servant a cold glance. The Fidelius Charm? If he does that, I have no hope... none at all... unless... -he smiled a rather nasty smile - I was to... *persuade* the Secret-Keeper that divulging the information may be less painful than keeping it secret... Do you have anything else to tell me?
Well... My Lord, I - I - that's all I have as of now...
Voldemort's gaze became even colder. And when, may I ask, did you learn of this?
S-S-September, My Lord....
As hard as following the Potters may be, you could have told me sooner! Voldemort hissed, his red, snakelike eyes narrowing. I think you deserve a reminder of what happens to those who hold things from me... He reached into his pocket and took out his wand.
No, my Lord, no, please, begged the hooded man.

The man fell to the ground, screaming in agony as the Cruciatus Curse worked through his body, twisting his figure with pain. Voldemort jerked his wand up, cutting off the curse, leaving his servant lying on the ground, panting.
You see how foolish it is to disobey me? Now leave me, you worthless fool! Voldemort growled.
The man staggered to his feet and hurried away as fast as he could, leaving Voldemort to fall to his own thoughts. Albus Dumbledore would surely ruin all.... But, if the Fidelius Charm was preformed, Voldemort knew *just* the person he would have to pursue....

~November 16~

Harry Potter crawled busily through the forest of legs in his kitchen, causing several people to jump backward in alarm to avoid him. But Harry paid them no heed. He was a baby with a mission. He had to find his teddy bear. He had dropped it in the confusion when all these strange people started arriving at his house. He had deduced, by the mysterious conversations between his parents, that this was a PARTEE. Harry had no idea what a PARTEE was, but he was determined to find his bear.
Hey! Where are you going, sport?
A pair of strong arms seized Harry and lifted him into the air, and he looked into the smiling face of Sirius. Harry had been prepared to cry, but when he saw who had grabbed him, he gurgled happily. He liked this man, this Sirius. Sirius was a GODFATHER, whatever that was. Harry didn't know what a GODFATHER was, but he liked GODFATHERS, and hoped he could find some more. But that would have to wait. He was on a mission here. Time to recruit some help. He slung an arm companionably around Sirius' neck and commented, (Translation: Siri-doggy'.)
That's right, Sirius said, ruffling Harry's hair. What's your hurry?
Harry told him.
said Sirius. Your bear. Let's find him, then.
Sirius carried Harry through the packed living room and down the hall to his bedroom. Sitting in his crib was Harry's blue bear.
Harry squealed in delight when he saw it, stretching out his arms for it. Sirius laughed and took the bear out of the crib, and handed it to his godson.
Keep a good hold on him, Sirius advised, carrying Harry back to the PARTEE.
Harry looked up at his GODFATHER in adoration. He loved Sirius, and the man who was so often with Sirius - Remus. They were his most favourite people in the world, besides his parents and the nice, smiling lady who came to visit his mother a lot - Grace. To his delight, Sirius was bringing him over to Grace and Remus.
Whoo, he's getting heavy, Sirius said, dropping to the couch beside Remus.
He's a growing boy, Grace said, leaning over Remus to kiss Harry on the nose.
Harry giggled, then saw someone approaching them. His bottom lip trembled ever so slightly. Coming towards them was a man Harry did not like. He was a paunchy young man, with a pointed nose, watery grey eyes, and dishwater-blond hair. His name was Peter, and Harry did not like him at all. Something about Peter made the baby uneasy. To his displeasure, Peter sat down on Sirius' other side.
Hi, kiddo, Peter said cheerfully, ruffling Harry's hair. Harry frowned at him, not trusting him in the least. There was only one way to get out of this situation. Harry opened his mouth and began to scream.
Ack! Harry! Stop! Sirius yelped, hurriedly getting to his feet and carrying Harry into the kitchen. What's wrong? Do you want your mum? Hold on, I'll find her...
They didn't find Mum, but they did find Dad. Dad took Harry from Sirius and said, What's wrong with him, Siri?
Dunno, he started screaming for no reason, Sirius panted. He does that every time Pete shows up, I dunno why...
Dad shrugged and kissed his son's cheek. He's fine now, he frowned. I'll turn him over to Lil... she always knows what to do.

~December 28, 7:10 PM - the Potters'~

Bye bye, love, Lily cooed, kissing her son. Be good for Sirius and Remus.
He always is, Sirius said with a grin. Have fun, guys. Bring me back a dessert.
A doggie bag, James grinned, putting an arm around his wife. Be back around nine.
The Potters left, leaving Harry (who was falling asleep) in the somewhat capable hands of their best friends. Sirius plopped down on the couch and turned on the telly. We should go out some night, Remmie.
Remus wasn't really fond of social situations, and usually avoided putting himself in one. But he figured a romantic dinner with his boyfriend couldn't be so bad.
All right. Where d'you suggest? he asked, curling up beside Sirius and opening a book (he *hated* just sitting and watching the telly - it always made him feel like he was wasting time, so he read a book and glanced up at the programme every now and then).
Would you want to go someplace extremely classy? Sirius asked him. Say, a French restaurant or someplace like that? Or does Italian sound better?
Remus said immediately, already imagining himself having the finest bouillabaisse London could offer. But Siri... I hate it when you spend so much money on me!
I know you do, Sirius said, But I can't help myself. I like spending money on you, and it's not like we can't afford it or anything....

~Meanwhile, Dumbledore's Office~

Can you tell us more about the Fidelius Charm, sir? James said thoughtfully, looking at Dumbledore. Is it really our best chance? Is there anything that could go wrong during the performance of the spell?
Not at all, Dumbledore said. It's true that not many people use the Fidelius Charm, for fear that something could go wrong. But there is really no risk to it. The old stories about accidental memory erasures and mutations are just that - stories. No truth to them at all. He sighed. And there's no reason to worry - once the charm is preformed, the secret is impossible to find... As long as you choose a Secret-Keeper whom you know will be loyal to you forever.
That's easy, James said immediately. It'll be Sirius.
Dumbledore frowned. He didn't want to voice his suspicions about Sirius out loud, so he merely raised an eyebrow. Are you sure?
Of course we are! Lily said, sounding surprised. James is right, sir, Sirius is the perfect choice. He's our very best friend, he'd never betray us.
That's right. James said firmly. I've known Sirius since we were babies, sir, and I stand by what I said earlier. Siri'd rather die than hand us over to Voldemort.
It's not that I don't trust Sirius, Dumbledore lied. But... I think you should use someone else. If you want - I will do it for you...
That's very kind of you, sir, James said quietly. But I think it should be Sirius.
Dumbledore realized there was to be no argument. James and Lily were set on using Sirius; there was nothing he could say that would deter them. So he nodded wearily.
All right.... but I think we should all meet here again soon, to discuss this. I need to make sure Sirius fully understands it...

~January 16~

Oh, go on, Lil...

It's perfectly safe... I do it all the time... he'll be fine...
It's still no. You drive like a maniac.
Aww, you're no fun, Sirius pouted, shaking his long hair out of his eyes. Can't a godfather take his godson out for a measly motorcycle ride?
Not when the godfather is you, and the godson is Harry.
Sirius wailed, and looked at James. Jim, overrule her! You can do that, can't you?
James quailed under the furious glare his wife gave him. Er - well - I'd like to, but you know, Siri, Lil's right - you don't drive as - er - *safely* as you should...
Screw safety! Sirius said, but regretted it at once when he saw the looks on their faces. Sorry. I just wanna give Harry some fun, is all. He winked at the baby, who was in his father's arms and watching Sirius intently. What d'you think, Harry?
Harry yelled at once, reaching his arms out for his godfather. James and Lily groaned.
I should have known you were using the Imperius Curse on him, James scowled. All right, all right, he said to his son, who was still struggling and yelling . We can go, I guess. But I'll ride with him, he said to Sirius. You're not leaving him in that sidecar without anyone to hold him. Carefully, James climbed into the motorcycle's sidecar. This thing doesn't even have seatbelts! he said unhappily.
*Do* be careful! Lily shouted anxiously over the sound of the motorcycle's engine as Sirius started it up.
Sirius waved to show he had heard, and drove off. James gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, fearing death at every turn. Harry, however, was having fun, clapping delightedly and gurgling in his throat to imitate the bike's engine. James groaned, feeling a slight bit queasy. He cracked one eye open to see where they were. It turned out they were speeding down an old, unused-looking dirt road.
Er - Siri! Where are we going? James yelled.
Sirius shouted back, pressing a button on the bike's control panel at the same time, sending the bike flying up into the sky.
You jerk! James hollered. The Muggles are sure to see us, you know!
No they won't! Sirius yelled. There's no one living around here for miles - we'll be fine!
How can you be so sure?
I've taken Remmie here before!
Watch out for that tree! James shrieked, while Harry burbled joyously and bounced up and down on his father's lap.
I can *see* it, Jim! Sirius yelled back, swerving to avoid it.

It seemed to James that this torture lasted for hours; but when they finally touched ground once more he peeked at his watch and was stunned to learn it had only been forty minutes.
See, it wasn't so bad, was it? Sirius asked once they had gotten back to the Potters' house (where Lily had been hovering near the window ever since they left, terrified the Muggle policemen would show up at any minute and tell her her husband and son were dead).
Well, Harry liked it, James said, looking down at his son, who was beginning to doze off. Look, he tired himself out with all that yelling. Lily rushed out of the house to meet them as Sirius grinned.
Have fun, sport? he asked Harry.
Harry mumbled.
Mummy's right here, darling, Lily said, taking Harry from James. She looked anxiously at her husband and Sirius. Did it go all right? You didn't do anything careless, did you?
Please, Lil! Sirius said, rolling his eyes as they went inside. Have a *little* confidence in me, please!

Once Lily had made hot chocolate for them all and put Harry to bed, James was ready to tell Sirius why he had asked him over. Siri? Can I ask you something?
Sure, Jim. What's on your mind?
Well.... first I should tell you something... Remember the times Lil and I have gone off to meet Dumbledore?....

~*~*~*~*~

...And we want you to be our Secret-Keeper, Siri, James finished several minutes later.
Sirius put down his empty mug and looked from James to Lily and back again, white as chalk. You're really telling me Voldemort's after you.
The Potters nodded.
Sirius let out his breath in a great rush and ran his fingers through his hair. I expect Dumbledore wants to meet with me then?
said James. Next time we go to see him... you're to come as well. He wants to discuss this with you... it's such a big decision and all...
No, it isn't, Jim, Sirius sighed. You expected me to refuse? I couldn't turn my back on you guys like that. No, I'm definitely gonna do it.
Thanks, Siri, James said softly, touched, and got up to hug his best friend.
Just one thing.
What is it?
Sirius winced as an earsplitting yell sounded from upstairs. Er - I think someone wants you.

~February 3 - the Potters'~

Remus was sitting at James and Lily's dining room table, patiently working on a very long and tedious essay for his Defense Against the Dark Arts course. Harry was sitting under the table at his feet, absorbed in Remus' shoelaces, which were fascinating to him. Remus peeked under the table every once in awhile to make sure Harry hadn't wandered off or started to chew the shoelaces. When he peeked again around seven o'clock after finishing his essay, Harry was sound asleep. Remus carried him off to his bedroom and put him in his crib, then brought his shoes into the living room, sat down in front of the telly and began the long task of disentangling the mess Harry had made with his shoes.

Remus was taking care of Harry all alone tonight. James and Lily had gone off to meet Dumbledore again, and Sirius had gone off someplace too. Remus didn't know where; when he asked, Sirius mumbled, Noplace. Out, and refused to say any more. It bothered Remus a little. He wanted to know where his mate was going, just in case anything happened. Sirius had always understood this and never argued... but this time he had been most reluctant to say anything. Now where could he be going that was so top-secret? Remus wondered to himself, glancing up from his shoelaces to catch a glimpse of the game show on the telly. Sirius could be doing anything; well, except cheating on Remus.... Remus knew he'd never do such a thing. But his uneasiness wasn't alleviated by the thought. After all, there were a lot of things that were worse than cheating on your mate...

Contributing to the planning of the deaths of your best friends, for instance....

~Meanwhile, Dumbledore's Office~

I get it, Sirius said slowly, running a hand through his hair. So if I'm the Secret-Keeper... if the charm works.... Voldemort can't find Jim, or Lil, or Harry.... even if he's standing on their front walk watching them wash the car?
Dumbledore chuckled softly. Not exactly the way I'd have put it, but very close, he said, smiling. Yes, Sirius.
Sirius frowned. But... If we do it this way... well, I mean.. Jim, Lil, it's not that I don't want to do it, - he patted Lily's hand reassuringly - But won't it be a little... *obvious* to Voldemort? I mean... we're so close. I'd be the first one he's suspect, and God knows what he'd do to try and make me talk. He didn't voice his biggest fear - that Voldemort would torture or kill Remus in an attempt to make Sirius give away the Potters' whereabouts.
That's kind of true, James said, frowning. Just the sort of thing he'd do, too. I wouldn't want to put Remmie or your family in danger, Siri.
Dumbledore frowned. Is there no one else?
We don't know for sure who the spy is, Lily said. You're really the only one, Siri.
You don't suspect Remus or Peter, do you? Sirius asked her, frowning.
Oh, no, not at all! Lily said hastily. No, Siri, I trust them, and Grace too. But you should really be the one to do it.
But we can't let him rush into a decision that could put others in danger, James argued. Think about it, Lil. The point is to *save* some innocent lives, not endanger them!
You're right, his wife sighed, biting her bottom lip nervously.
But I'm not *not* going to help, Sirius said angrily.
May I suggest, Dumbledore cut in, making them all turn their heads sharply to look at him, That Sirius take awhile to think it over?
There was a short silence, and then James nodded. You're entirely right, sir. This calls for a great deal of thought.
Sirius sighed. The answer'll still be the same, you know, but if that's really what you want, Headmaster, I'll do as you say.
Very good, said Dumbledore, trying to ignore the immense feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong.

~*~*~*~*~

Sirius didn't go straight home after he and the Potters left Dumbledore's office. Instead, he took a stroll through Hogsmeade, and ended up sitting on the top bar at the stile at the end of the road, looking up at the stars and thinking. His mind was on Remus. Lily had denied thinking his mate was the spy, and even though Sirius wanted to believe it with all his heart, and *did* believe it to an extent, a horrible feeling of doubt lurked in the back of his mind that refused to be pushed away. Could Remus be a Death Eater? Sirius shuddered to think of his precious Moony going anywhere near Voldemort or his servants.
No, no, it can't be, he muttered to himself, looking up at his star. Not Remmie. He'd never do such a thing. He *loves* Jim and Lil. And he'd never put *me* through anything like that, either. And the Death Eaters, even as evil as they were, would *not* want a werewolf to join their ranks, he added silently.
You don't know a thing about what he does after school, a voice spoke up in his head. You know perfectly well his classes end at two. So why does he stay out until nearly dinnertime?
He's working on homework and projects, Sirius mumbled to himself. He told me so. He needs the library at his school - it has a *lot* more books and information than his study at home. He finally got up and climbed off the stile, noticing for the first time that his nose and ears had gone numb with cold and that he was shivering.
It's not Remmie, he said fiercely before Disapperating.
But that feeling of doubt refused to go.

~April 4 - a secret Death Eater location~

Severus Snape looked round the room cautiously, taking in the sight of the other gathered Death Eaters, who were all waiting patiently for Lord Voldemort to arrive. Though all were hooded and masked, Snape could tell a few of them by their voices and actions. Right near him was Lucius Malfoy, Paul Crabbe, and Robert Goyle. A unctuous, self-assured voice he heard nearby made him quite sure that Igor Karkaroff was here was well. The Lestranges were nearby; Evan and Rosier were there too, with Barty Crouch. But Snape's biggest interest was the man he was talking to, whom he felt quite sure was an old nemesis of his own from Hogwarts, and one of the *last* people he'd ever expect to support Lord Voldemort. Quite interesting. And if he wasn't mistaken, it was the same person who was gathering information on the Potters...
Finally, Voldemort arrived, and Snape sat up a little straighter, abruptly cutting himself off in mid-sentance. The man he was talking to shrugged and looked up at the Dark Lord as well.
My friends, the Voldemort thundered, and everyone in the room suppressed a shudder at that cold voice. We shall begin, starting with an account of the murder of the Prewetts, which took place last week... another bothersome pair of Aurors has fallen!

~May 16 - Serena and Grub's house~

Where *is* Grub, anyway? Sirius wondered aloud, not really caring, but he had to say *something*. He and Remus were visiting Remus' sister, just because they hadn't seen her in a year or so and felt a little guilty. But then, she *was* a little hard to be around. Ever since her marriage to Grub (who wasn't too bright but came from a family who was possessed of a tremendous amount of both money and respectability), Serena had become even more insufferably stuck-up and rude.
I don't know, she said airily in answer to Sirius' question. Should I?
He is your husband, Sirius said, rolling his eyes.
And you'd think he'd at least be around to say hello, Remus said, though not at all troubled, because he really didn't care for his brother-in-law.
He's probably off doing something important, Serena snapped. Not everyone can lie around doing nothing! This last was directed to Sirius, who yawned very obviously behind his hand. Serena seemed determined to insult him at all costs; he had only come because Remus asked him to, and he didn't want to say no to Remus.
Er - Sere - I noticed a rather lovely cherry tree in your front yard, Remus said hastily, seeing the looks on Serena and Sirius' faces. Where did you get that?
said Serena dreamily, Greg bought that for me for my birthday.. it's not all that hard to take care if, actually - the other day, for instance -
Sirius listened to Remus and Serena discuss gardening with only half his mind as he sipped absentmindedly at his tea and fiddled with a crumpet. It struck him as odd that Grub would be gone at nearly seven at night; usually he was home by then. Where could he have gone? Sirius vaguely recalled something Remus had told him once. He could barely remember what Remus had said; Sirius had been half asleep by then, and it had been months ago to boot. But it was something along the lines of Grub being a Death Eater. Was it possible? If Grub really was a follower of Voldemort, did Serena know? If she knew, did she care? She was probably evil enough, or at least she was in Sirius' mind after all they had been through at Hogwarts.
And what about Remmie himself? It was driving Sirius mad, and weighing on him mightily, along with all the pros and cons of becoming James and Lily's Secret-Keeper. These days his brain usually felt like a wrung-out sponge by the time he fell asleep, with all the things it was preoccupied by in the daytime. What to do.... it was all Voldemort's fault... bringing all these worries and problems to innocent people...

~June 11 - 11:30 PM~

Remus lay absolutely still, his arm around his lover, who had finally fallen asleep. Remus had no idea what was troubling Sirius lately, and Sirius wouldn't say. It might have been stress. Quite often Sirius had splitting headaches and lost a lot of sleep. Recently he had begun having severe nightmares, and they cut down on his sleep even more. What was there to cause so much stress in Sirius' life? They *were* all worried about Lily and James, but this was a little bit extreme.... Unless, of course, Sirius was Voldemort's spy....
Dismissing that depressing thought, Remus closed his eyes and had just begun to doze off when Sirius' body gave a tremendous jerk beside him, snapping him fully awake as Sirius screamed and sat up. He looked wildly around with wide eyes, trembling.
Remus whispered, shaken, putting his arms around Sirius and drawing him close. Sirius was trembling with fear and drenched in cold sweat, his long hair plastered to his neck and shoulders. Siri, it's all right! It was only a dream!
Sirius finally realized he and been dreaming, and clung tightly to Remus, trying hard not to cry. It had been a terrible, horrible dream, and he never wanted to have it again. He was frankly amazed he hadn't wet himself in fear. Still shivering, Sirius nuzzled Remus' neck, holding him so tight that Remus found bruises on his skin the next morning, feeling overwhelming relief to be out of that nightmare and safe in someone's arms.
Remus stroked Sirius' hair and planted light kisses along his hairline, trying to calm him. When Sirius stopped shaking, Remus murmured, Love, what were you dreaming about?
Sirius' body went as stiff as a poker in his arms. Nothing. I can't remember. I don't *want* to remember. He relaxed, whimpering slightly and brushing impatiently at the tears lurking in the corners of his eyes.
Remus kissed his nose. Wait a minute. He got up, went into the bathroom, and came back in with Sirius' water glass and a purple bottle of Sleeping Potion. He had it on hand mainly for the nights just before and after the full moon, when his dreams became truly unbearable for him, and he figured it was just the thing Sirius needed at the moment.
Sirius said instantly, when he saw what Remus was holding. No, Remmie, I don't want it.
I know you don't agree with taking potions and medicines to fall asleep, Remus said softly, pouring some of the potion into Sirius' glass. But you need it now. No arguments. Here, drink up.
Sirius reluctantly took the potion and drank it with a grimace. The effect was instantaneous, and his eyelids began to droop as he handed the glass back to Remus. Remus climbed back in the bed and pulled the covers over himself and his lover, snuggling close to Sirius.
Sirius mumbled, trying to stave off the waves of exhaustion clouding his mind for a few more moments.

Don't leave me, Sirius whispered. Please, don't ever leave me.
Remus kissed him softly. I never will, love. You're my world. Now go to sleep, dear.

~July 31, 1985 - Harry's 1st Birthday~

Harry squealed at the top of his lungs, making everyone around him wince. He paid no heed. Today had been a simply mysterious day from the moment Harry awoke that morning. All day long he had been forced to sit still in his playpen while his parents rushed all over the house, preparing for another PARTEE. As far as Harry was concerned, PARTEEs weren't worth all this fuss. That was, until he saw what had been waiting for him.
An entire table, laden with brightly-coloured parcels and little plastic party favours, had been set up in the garden. Bright balloons were tied to the porch rail and the backs of the chairs, some shaped like animals that really made noise, and others that occasionally sprayed out glittery confetti. Sirius, Remus, Grace, and Peter, along with Grampa and Gramma, had been waiting outside when Dad and Mum brought Harry outside.
Happy Birthday, Harry, Sirius said, gingerly taking his fingers out of his ears. Boy, you sure can yell.
Helloooo, my birthday boy, Gramma cooed, taking Harry from James and kissing his cheeks. Harry wrinkled his nose at the smell of his grandmother's perfume and the feel of her waxy lipstick. Gramma sat, with Harry on her lap, and began working fiercely at the lipstick smears she had left on his cheeks as Grampa ruffled his grandson's hair.
Crikey, he's getting big, Peter commented, and Harry shot him a dark look which no one noticed. Why was *that man* at his PARTEE? Harry didn't like that man, but didn't know how to make him leave. He didn't have time to muse over this, though, as Sirius knelt beside Gramma and grinned at Harry.
Pete's right. You're getting big, my man, Sirius said, tickling Harry under his chin. You'll be as tall as your dad in no time.
Harry said at once, holding his arms out to Sirius, and was handed to his godfather by his grandmother.
That's me, Sirius agreed. Look, Harry, you haven't even looked at your presents yet. He carried Harry over to the enormous heap of parcels on the table.
Harry gave him a comically puzzled look. he asked, pointing at himself.
Yes, lovey, his mum said, narrowly avoiding getting Sirius' hair in her eye as she kissed her son's cheek. Those are all yours.
An intriguing development. Harry eyed the parcels, then the grown-ups, who were all beaming at him. What had he done to get all these parcels?
Sirius sat Harry down in his booster seat. Harry just sat and goggled up at them all. Poor little guy. I don't think he knows what's going on.
James sat beside Harry and took the first present from the pile. It's simple enough, Harry, he said, sliding the parcel in front of his son. Harry gave him a quizzical glance, and James ripped a corner of the wrapping paper off the package.
The baby's eyes lit up with comprehension. Ah! So that was what he needed to do. Harry seized a handful of ribbon and paper and tugged with all his might. The paper ripped open, revealing a flat, white box. Harry kept shredding at the paper until there was no more paper to shred, then clapped his hands. Very well, then! On with the next present!
But his parents weren't giving him more paper to rip. Instead Mum was opening the white box, Grampa snapping pictures all the while. Harry watched in interest, but his interest didn't last long when he saw what was inside the box. A new spring suit! Harry wrinkled his little nose in disgust as the adults ooooh'ed' and ahhh'ed' over the outfit. Clothes were the last thing on his mind.
Here you go, Harry, Dad said, finally sliding another package to his son. This one's from Sirius and Remus.
Harry wasted no time in shredding off the dinosaur-printed paper, and his eyes widened when he saw what was inside. A great yellow dumptruck!
Harry yelled when he got over his surprise.
That's right, darling! his mother said, carefully taking the truck out of its box. It's a truck!
Harry wanted to play with it straight away, but he had more presents to open. He ended up getting more clothes from his grandparents, and an action figure (G.I. Nigel! The All-British Hero!), more trucks, and a stupid hat with teddy bear ears (though his mother, Gramma, and Grace pronounced it adorable', his father and his friends winced at the sight of it).

Finally, the presents were all opened, and Harry looked impatiently across the table at the pile, wanting to go play with his new toys. But no one let him down from his chair. Instead Mum stood up and said, Now for the you-know-what... Jim, come give me a hand...
Mum and Dad disappeared into the house and Harry waited impatiently. Sirius took the stupid hat off Harry's head and put it aside at once (what a relief).
All right, everybody sing! Mum called from the door, as she and Dad came out holding an enormous cake with a giant number one candle in it.
And everyone started singing at once, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Harry, happy birthday to you, as Mum and Dad put the cake down on the table in front of Harry. Everyone was beaming at him (and singing that horrid song again), and Harry had no idea what was expected of him. So he did the only thing he could think of. He reached out, plunged his fist wrist-deep in frosting, pulled out a hunk of cake, and threw it, knocking his grandfather's toupee off.

~August 11 - the Potters'~

It's been months, said Sirius at once, and I know what I want to do.
James and Lily said in unison.
I told you I'd be the most obvious person to be a Secret-Keeper, and Voldemort would come after me straight away. So I thought about that, and it gave me an idea. Let's use - Peter!
James said, stunned. That's - that's - that's-
he and Lily said at once.
Sirius beamed. You really think so?
Yes, I do! said James, still stunned. That mind of yours, Siri - pure genius! Don't get me wrong, I love Pete and all, but he's no great shakes at magic. Voldemort'll never suspect a thing...
Lily gave Sirius a warm hug. Sometimes you're so brilliant you scare me, she said to him, then looked from Sirius to her husband and back again. *Both* of you.
If Pete'll agree, we're almost home-free, said James, smiling. Dumbledore gave us the spell, showed us how to preform it, and everything. I'll check back with him before we do it, of course. But I think we've got it right - he'll never get us now! Siri, I could kiss you!
Sirius smiled shyly and swiped at his hair. Aww, Jim, you're making me blush!
James laughed. Don't worry, I won't kiss you. When you get home tonight tell Remmie I say he has to give you an extra-big kiss.
What'll I tell him I did?
*You* come up with that. Tell him it's just because you were a good dog.
Can do.
When should we ask Peter? Lily asked, her eyes shining with happiness and relief. As soon as possible, I know, but when? Tomorrow?
said Sirius slowly, If you don't mind I'd - er, well, I'd rather talk to him.
All right, Lily agreed at once. She got up and kind of danced down the hall. You can't believe what a relief this is, she said happily. I'll be right back - I want to check on Harry.
As soon as she was gone, James reached out and hugged his best friend. Thanks, Siri. I dunno where we'd be without you - I mean, that's a brilliant plan, but kind of simple - I don't know why I didn't think of it myself.
Aah, it's no problem, Sirius said, kissing James on the nose. When you're really worried and anxious about something, the simplest stuff gets overlooked. It's okay, Jim.
Are you sure you want to talk to Pete alone?
Yeah, it's okay, Sirius said. I'll go see him first thing tomorrow.

~August 12 - the Pettigrew's house~

Peter was alone in the house, eating cereal and watching the telly when a loud *whoosh* noise made him look up in time to see Sirius emerging from the fireplace, brushing soot out of his hair.
Hey, Pete, he said cheerfully. Are you alone?
Er - yes, Peter said hesitantly. That question did not bode well with him when it was asked by his gay friend, who was quite a bit taller and stronger than himself.
Sirius rolled his eyes, correctly reading the look on Peter's face. Goddamn it, Pete, I'm not here to take you to bed. I've got to talk to you. It's important.
He flopped down on the couch beside Peter, thumped his feet up on the coffee table, and grabbed a handful of cereal from the open box that sat in between them on the couch. It's about Jim and Lil.
There's nothing wrong, is there? Peter asked, doing his best to sound anxious.
Nah. Unless you count the most evil wizard in the world trying to kill them.
That's not funny!
Yeah, sorry, Sirius admitted, tossing some Crunchberries into his mouth. I wasn't trying to be funny - never mind. Gots to tell you something.
What is it? Peter said, annoyed.
Well - we kind of had an idea about that whole Secret-Keeper thing, Sirius said.
Peter said, trying to hide his excitement.
Yeah. We thought - well, if you agree, that is - that we could make *you* the Secret-Keeper.
Peter's eyes widened, and Sirius said quickly, You don't have to do it if you don't want to - it was just an idea - but -
Are you mad? Of course I'll do it, Peter broke him off. Anything to - to help Jim and Lil.
Sirius' eyes lit up. Really? You will?
Of course. Just one question. What made you think of me?
Er - Sirius gulped, not wanting to tell Peter that they didn't think he was very good at magic. We figured - well, I'm Jim's best friend, it'd be most obvious to Vol- he stopped, remembering Peter didn't like the name - You-Know-Who that I'd be the one to chase. And I could - I dunno, *pretend* I was, and keep him distracted. See, he'd never think it'd be you.
We'll see about that,' Peter thought but didn't say. Aloud, he said, Good plan. Was it your idea?
Sirius said, helping himself to more cereal, Pretty much. I came up with the main idea, but Jim figured out the details.
All right, said Peter, smiling to himself. I think it will work rather well....

~September 13 - Dumbledore's office~

It's done? Dumbledore asked quietly.
James nodded. We've chosen him, and we're preparing to preform the spell. It might take us about a month to finish working everything out completely, but we're pretty much ready.
Very well, Dumbledore sighed heavily, knowing his worst fear had come true. James and Lily had made Sirius their Secret-Keeper. You know, James... you will now have to take the best of precautions to keep your Secret-Keeper safe.
James nodded, looking grave. Actually, Lily and I have already talked about this to them all - Remus, Sirius, Peter, Grace - if Voldemort doesn't find out who's the Secret-Keeper, he would go after them and their families one-by-one until he got the information he needs. We can't risk that. So we've told them all to do their best to get into hiding - Peter says he has a place already, Grace is planning on leaving England, and Sirius and Remus are planning where they're going to go. It's hard, you know. Asking them to drop it all and leave their families and everything just to protect us. But they all say it's worth it. He sighed heavily. Why can't he leave us alone? he asked bitterly, staring down at the polished mahogany top of the Headmaster's desk.
Dumbledore reached across his desk and patted James' hand comfortingly. Don't blame yourself, James. There's nothing we can do to change Voldemort's thinking. We'll just have to do our best to prevent him from succeeding.
James nodded, then rose. I'd best be going, sir. I don't want to leave Lily and Harry at home alone for long.
All right, said Dumbledore, rising to see James out. Very well.
When they reached the office door, an odd expression appeared on James' face. He bit his lip, then pulled something silvery out from the pocket of his robes.

Might I ask you a small favour?

James held out the silvery cloth - his Invisibility Cloak. Would you hold this for me? Just for awhile?
Dumbledore took it, his blue eyes suddenly subdued behind his half-moon glasses. A- all right, James...

~October 23~

The Fidelius Charm had finally been preformed, between James, Lily, and Peter. Sirius had been there as a witness, trying to calm himself that everything would be all right, but his feeling of impending doom had refused to leave. And what was he to tell Remus? Sirius knew it was important that he and Remus get into hiding as soon as possible, but he couldn't think up a single reason to tell his lover that they had to pack up and leave the comfortable little house they both loved so much. Of course, he could tell Remus they had to hide in case Voldemort came after them, looking for information, but... well... what if Remus was the spy? It seemed to Sirius that Remus had been acting rather distant over the past few months, and it drove him crazy. Was his Moony a Death Eater? Was Remus consorting with Voldemort and his followers, feeding them information on the Potters? If there was even that chance, Sirius couldn't let any information leak out to Remus. Of course, Sirius had a habit of talking in his sleep... he hoped and prayed he hadn't said anything incriminating, and that Remus hadn't heard it....

~October 31 - 7:00 PM - Voldemort's chambers~

Voldemort paced up and down his chamber impatiently. Finally, he had received word from his spy that he had succeeded in getting important information on the Potters. Excited, Voldemort had ordered the spy to arrive at once, but since the man didn't set much store by punctuality, he still wasn't here.
He stroked Nagini as she slithered her way up his arm to his shoulder. Where *is* he? the Dark Lord snarled, getting more impatient by the minute. Just as he was on the verge of Apperating to the servant's house, there was a knock on the door.
There you are, Voldemort said sharply as the man entered the room. Where have you been? - but no. Never mind. What do you have to tell me?
The black-cloaked man let out a horrible, bone-chilling chuckle that even Voldemort himself would have never believed this man capable of uttering. It has happened, My Lord... the Potters have made me their Secret-Keeper....
His red eyes widening in shock, Voldemort reached out one long, pale hand and seized the man by the collar of his robes. They have?
A week ago, the man whispered, his eyes shining malevolently. And it is time, my Lord! Time for you to bring them to our ranks!
With a snort, Voldemort let go of the man's robes and began putting on his cloak. Who said anything about getting the Potters on our side? I am going to kill them! Now tell me, fool, where are they?!

~7:10 PM - Black/Lupin home~

Sirius Apperated into the living room to find Remus sitting on the couch, waiting for him with a rather stern look on his face. He gulped and tried to keep a guilty look off his face. Hello, love.
Hello, yourself, Remus said, getting up and glaring fiercely up at his lover. Where have you been?
Sirius said, trying to sidestep the issue. What's for dinner?
You do that every time! Remus said, slapping his hand down on the top of the telly. Siri, what's going on with you? You always used to take me with you wherever you went - and if I didn't go you'd at least tell me where you were going. Why won't you tell me now? Are you hiding something from me?
said Sirius instantly, wincing mentally. He had been, in fact, and James and Lily's house, trying to plan out a hiding place for himself and Remus. Yeah, he *was* hiding something, but he wasn't going to admit it.
Sirius, don't lie to me! Remus said, his eyes narrowing. You've not been yourself lately.
Neither have you, Sirius snapped irritably. He didn't want to get pulled into an argument - he and Remus had skillfully avoided arguments ever since that horrible period in their sixth year - but his untamable temper was rising. He fought it down. He wasn't going to risk hurting his Remus over a stupid argument.
What do you mean? Remus asked him suspiciously.
You're weirder than I am these days, Sirius responded. What is it, werewolf PMS or something?!
Remus winced as if slapped. They usually avoided bringing up his lycanthropy, because Sirius knew how it upset him. He glared up at Sirius, blinking back tears and struggling to keep his voice steady. This isn't about me, Sirius. I want to know - what are you up to?
Shut up, Sirius said, going quite pale. Remmie, shut up.
I won't! Remus shouted at him, the tears getting the better of him and beginning to run down his cheeks. Tell me! Even if it's - it's - -his voice broke - a-a-another man, another woman, if you're cheating on me.. please tell me!
Sirius gathered Remus in his arms and hugged him tightly. Oh, don't even think that, Remmie, tears pricking at the corners of his own eyes. No, Remmie, there's no one else. There's only you - it's *always* been only you. I would never dream of doing that to you.
Where were you, then? Remus whispered, as they collapsed onto the couch.
Jim and Lil's.
Why couldn't you just tell me that in the first place? the young werewolf said softly.
Sirius shook his head. No, Remmie. I can't - won't - tell you that. The walls have ears, you know.
Remus sniffled and buried his wet cheeks in Sirius' ebony mane. I'm so sorry, love. So sorry.
Shh, don't be, his mate murmured in his ear. It's my fault. I'll start being a lot more honest to you now.
I didn't mean to think you were up to something dodgy, Remus whispered, but Sirius didn't respond. They stayed silent for a long time, Remus running his hand along Sirius' leg as his mate just sat still and held him. Finally, Sirius broke the silence.
Jim gave his Invisibility Cloak to Dumbledore. he said.
Remus was taken aback.

D'you think Jim knows something we don't know?
I don't know what to think these days, Sirius sighed. He looked down at Remus and cupped his lover's chin in his hand. Did you eat already?
Yes, sorry. I didn't want to wait... should I warm you up something?
Nope, I'm not hungry, Sirius yawned, getting up off the couch and pulling Remus with him. Come on.
Where are we going?
Bed. I'm going to make up with you.
I could accept that apology, Remus said, brushing away his tears and taking his lover's hand.

~9:00 PM~

Their lovemaking had been as wonderful as always, and they snuggled close together afterwards, not worrying about dinner, just wanting to stay in that warm bed together for as long as possible. Remus gave a content sigh and closed his eyes, feeling very sleepy.
Then, quite suddenly, Sirius sat up.
What's wrong? Remus asked in some alarm, watching Sirius jump out of bed and hurriedly begin to dress.
Forgot to do something, Sirius grunted, pulling on his favourite set of grey robes. I'll be right back, okay, love? Just go back to sleep.
All right, Remus said uncertainly, lying down. Will you be home soon?
Won't take long, Sirius assured him, and kissed him gently. Love you.
Love you too, Remus murmured, and closed his eyes. The last thing he heard before falling asleep was the sound of Sirius' motorcycle being driven away.

~*~*~*~*~

It was raining by the time Sirius reached his destination. He dismounted the bike and hurried up the walk to the front door of the small, neat cottage which served as Peter's hideout. He rapped on the door and waited.
No answer. Sirius knocked again. Still nothing.
he called, trying to ignore the thread of fear that was slowly worming its way into his stomach. Pete! Are you there?
No response. Feeling quite worried now, Sirius tried the door. It was unlocked.
A quick search of the cottage informed Sirius that Peter was gone. There was no sign of a struggle. The clothes were in the drawers, the suitcases stored away under the bed. He obviously didn't run away, then. Unless the Dark Lord was after him. But why would he go without even taking a change of clothes? And why wouldn't he leave a note? Unless he was just running out to do someth -

Sirius' stomach dropped, and suddenly it just clicked together.

Oh, please God, no, Sirius whispered as he raced outside into the driving rain and got on his bike. He didn't. Oh God, please don't let me be too late.
But before he could start up the bike, a voice sounded in his head - years later, he still didn't know exactly how to explain it, but somehow he *heard* James right then, and knew the Potters were in a hell of a lot of trouble, and it made him scream in fright and surprise.

Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off -

~*~*~*~*~

~October 31 - 11:00 P.M. - Godric's Hollow~

Sirius stopped dead, terror flooding his body. He just couldn't believe what he was seeing. No, no, no! Tears pricked at his eyes. No, it couldn't be.....
James and Lily's house was in ruins. Completely destroyed. And - near - near the... where the door used to be.... was -
The tears began flowing freely when he realized the truth.
Jim... Lil... he croaked, then another bolt of terror hit him. Harry! Where was Harry?
He turned blindly into the rain, shaking his soaked hair out of his eyes. he screamed. Harry! Where are you? God, please don't let him be dead. Hopefully Harry would hear him and cry or something.

a voice said at his shoulder, making him jump. He looked around wildly, and realized who had spoken.
It was Hagrid, looking uncharacteristically scared. He was trembling slightly and carrying a bundle of blankets. In his state of utter shock, Sirius had walked right past him without even seeing him.
Sirius, it's okay, Hagrid whispered. I've got
Is he okay? Sirius asked with numb lips.
I think so. He's alive, anyway.
Sirius nodded slowly, then made up his mind.
Hagrid, give him to me.
Hagrid shook his head. No, Sirius, I can't. Dumbledore's orders.
Give Harry to me, Hagrid - I'm his godfather, I'll look after him-
I said no, Hagrid growled, and Sirius stopped. He didn't want an angry giant on his hands. He's ter go ter his aunt and uncle's. Dumbledore told me to take him there. I should go right now.
Sirius said softly. But Hagrid - can I say goodbye first?
Hagrid hesitated, then held out the bundle of blankets.

Sirius took Harry in his arms and gently folded back the corner of the blanket, which was covering his forehead. His heart gave a wrench when he saw the jagged, bleeding gash on the baby's head. Ever so carefully, he kissed Harry's cheek.
Goodbye, Harry, he murmured to his godson. I'll see you again someday, I promise. Remmie and I'll come to visit you, okay?
Harry said sleepily, his eyelids drooping, and Sirius kissed him again.
I love you, little guy, he whispered, before handing the baby back to Hagrid. They shook hands, and Sirius watched Hagrid walk away. He'd better go, quick... find Peter...
He looked at his motorcycle and shook his head. he called.
Hagrid turned.
Sirius said, hurrying up to him and handing him his keys. Take my bike.
But Sirius - you love that thing - why-
Just take it! Sirius said fiercely. You'll get Harry to safety faster. And... he hesitated, then said softly, I won't need it anymore.
Hagrid stared at him, but then nodded slowly. All righ'. he said heavily. But just fer a while, mind yeh. I'm bringin' it back to yeh.
He carefully mounted the bike, waved to Sirius, and was gone.

Pushing his hair off his neck, Sirius took a deep breath. It was now or never. He'd have to go find Peter.

~November 1 - 10:00 A.M.~

Remus! Oh, God, Remus, wake up!
Remus struggled up through sleep to see Grace standing beside his bed, shaking him. She was as white as snow, her eyes huge and scared, trembling.
What? Grace, what? Remus mumbled, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. Is something wrong?
Jim... Jim and Lil, Grace whispered.
What about them?
Remus..... they're... Grace ducked her head quite suddenly, and cut herself off. She sniffed, then looked back up. When she spoke, her voice wavered. They're... dead.
Remus gaped at her in shock as she began to cry. Jim and Lil... dead? W-what? H-how? When?
L-last night, Grace sobbed. You-Know-Who... turned up at their house... someone was passing information to him....
A terrible feeling had begun to creep its way into Remus' stomach. What about Harry? he whispered.
Harry's all right. He survived somehow.. once You-Know-Who tried to kill him, You-Know-Who's powers backfired.. he's gone! She lifted her tearstained face to Remus'. He couldn't kill Harry, and no one knows why. Dumbledore sent Harry to live with his aunt and uncle....
But who did it? Remus asked her. Who told Vol- sorry, You-Know-Who how to reach James and Lily?
Grace choked back another sob. He killed Peter! This morning! Peter went after him... to get back at him for betraying James and Lily... he was their Secret-Keeper... but he *killed* Peter... and twelve Muggles as well!
*Who*, Grace? Remus demanded, resisting the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her. Goddamn it, girl, tell me! Who was it?!

Her reply was only three words long, one of which was a name he knew, a name he had murmured in its owner's ear time without number; but just that one name utterly destroyed Remus. That one answer was the beginning of hell for him, twelve years of misery and loneliness. Every door in his life he had thought at one time to be open now slammed shut at the sound of that name; shut and double-locked. In the days that followed, he often lay awake at night, wanting to sleep because sleep temporarily dulled the pain; but unable to sleep because he was afraid of what he might dream. So he would lay awake, alone in the huge bed he had once shared with a man who had been his best friend and his lover, and wonder if there was a God, and if there was, why did He have to let such terrible things happen to His people?

Only three words, and Remus Lupin's perfect world was shattered beyond repair.

It was Sirius.




To Be Continued...


(Coming Soon: A very depressed Sirius reflects on his situation in Azkaban.)