Dinner that night was a sombre affair. Sylvia had started off with her usual loud chirpy tales of her day at school but had quietened when she sensed the tension at the table. Harry wouldn't speak to anyone. When Justin showed him a picture of Hogwarts he had drawn, Harry barely acknowledged it. He stared into space, his eyes not focussing on anything in particular. Ginny was unsure how to treat the situation. She tried to play Little Susie Home-maker, bringing out dinner, smoothing out her daughter's hair.
***
I want my Harry back. But what do I say? What do I do? I'm so very confused. I love my children and I love my Harry...but I don't know this man who sits in front of me now, this man that stares into space, his thoughts fixed on one person, whose name I dare not utter lest I break the tender spider-thread that holds the sanity of this household together right now. What about our children? Do I tell them the truth, that daddy loves another man? I want my mother right now. I want my parents and I just want to be free from all this guilt and responsibility and EVERYTHING. I just want to be the child again, and feel safe and secure and happy and LOVED.
***
Half way through desert, Harry excused himself. He went into the den and sat in front of the fire, staring into the flames. It reminded him too much of another fire. He put it out, and sat in darkness. Darkness enveloped him, and any moonlight that dared to enter through the high windows seemed to quiver and melt as it embraced the sorrow inside the room. Harry tried to cry. But the tears didn't want to seem to fall, as if every last drop had left him and there was nothing else left. Harry drummed his fingers on the leather arm of the chair, but that proved to remind him to much of rain falling on a roof, and that brought back memories too.
Hell, everything now brought back memories, Harry found.
Rain, snow, fire, cloud, moonlight, shadows, musky perfume....
Seven years he had denied himself of escaping into the depths of his heart. Seven years he had sealed off that one section. But now he relaxed into the soft comfort of the chair, folded his hands, closed his eyes, and simply REMEMBERED. And before long, he dozed off, slipping into a dream flooded by sunlight and blue sky and clouds...and a laughing boy with dancing blue eyes, flawless milky skin, and that hair of woven silver...
The next morning Harry was asked to do something utterly dreadful. He was asked to do one last identification, on the body of the once convicted Death Eater.
Harry was woken up by Ginny, who nervously handed him a letter. As his eyes scanned it, Harry swallowed thickly and nodded out of duty.
"Okay...hang on."
He wore his best dress robes. Black, silver and crimson. After all, he was going to kiss his dragon goodbye. He didn't care anymore, whether anyone knew. He thought Ginny might have suspected, after his behaviour yesterday. He really didn't care. He was determined to say goodbye.
As Harry apparated into the morgue at the Ministry he half wished he could turn and run. Run and run without looking back, without seeing the past without remembering the past and without having to identify the body.
But the other half of him wished to see Draco's body before him. Dead, cold, lifeless. It would close a chapter in his life. Give him conclusion, be it the most dreadful he could think of.
Harry doubted he would be able to let go.
But as the morgue's chief examiner pulled back the sheet Harry gasped. Draco had a small scar just above his jawline on the left side. It had been from a childhood Quidditch injury, and very few people knew about it, since it was so faint.
The body here had no such scar.
Unless it was some trick of the light - which Harry very much doubted it would be - this was not the corpse of Draco Malfoy.
***
"Yes, this is him." Harry nodded. "This is Draco Malfoy."
"Okay, thank you sir."
The sheet was put back in place.
***
So if that wasn't his lover, Harry thought...
***
He became lost in a sea of confusion, one thought cancelling out the next. Harry wrung his hands in frustration. So many questions and no answers.
But without Harry knowing it, the answers to all his questions lay so very close to him, in the form of...
----
afterdinnermints:
*evil grin*
Sorry ^_^
So what exactly has happened?? The body - is Harry again mistaken? Is it just wishful thinking that he thinks it isn't Draco? Is Draco dead, or isn't he?
Find out the truth, in Chapter 12 of The Velvet Darkness!
And yes! I promise the truth is coming! ^_^
BTW: This chapter was reposted to include a little bit at the start that I missed out before. Sorry everone! But yes, the next chapter is coming very soon :)
Thankyou to all who have reviewed...u know I luv ya ta bits!
***
I want my Harry back. But what do I say? What do I do? I'm so very confused. I love my children and I love my Harry...but I don't know this man who sits in front of me now, this man that stares into space, his thoughts fixed on one person, whose name I dare not utter lest I break the tender spider-thread that holds the sanity of this household together right now. What about our children? Do I tell them the truth, that daddy loves another man? I want my mother right now. I want my parents and I just want to be free from all this guilt and responsibility and EVERYTHING. I just want to be the child again, and feel safe and secure and happy and LOVED.
***
Half way through desert, Harry excused himself. He went into the den and sat in front of the fire, staring into the flames. It reminded him too much of another fire. He put it out, and sat in darkness. Darkness enveloped him, and any moonlight that dared to enter through the high windows seemed to quiver and melt as it embraced the sorrow inside the room. Harry tried to cry. But the tears didn't want to seem to fall, as if every last drop had left him and there was nothing else left. Harry drummed his fingers on the leather arm of the chair, but that proved to remind him to much of rain falling on a roof, and that brought back memories too.
Hell, everything now brought back memories, Harry found.
Rain, snow, fire, cloud, moonlight, shadows, musky perfume....
Seven years he had denied himself of escaping into the depths of his heart. Seven years he had sealed off that one section. But now he relaxed into the soft comfort of the chair, folded his hands, closed his eyes, and simply REMEMBERED. And before long, he dozed off, slipping into a dream flooded by sunlight and blue sky and clouds...and a laughing boy with dancing blue eyes, flawless milky skin, and that hair of woven silver...
The next morning Harry was asked to do something utterly dreadful. He was asked to do one last identification, on the body of the once convicted Death Eater.
Harry was woken up by Ginny, who nervously handed him a letter. As his eyes scanned it, Harry swallowed thickly and nodded out of duty.
"Okay...hang on."
He wore his best dress robes. Black, silver and crimson. After all, he was going to kiss his dragon goodbye. He didn't care anymore, whether anyone knew. He thought Ginny might have suspected, after his behaviour yesterday. He really didn't care. He was determined to say goodbye.
As Harry apparated into the morgue at the Ministry he half wished he could turn and run. Run and run without looking back, without seeing the past without remembering the past and without having to identify the body.
But the other half of him wished to see Draco's body before him. Dead, cold, lifeless. It would close a chapter in his life. Give him conclusion, be it the most dreadful he could think of.
Harry doubted he would be able to let go.
But as the morgue's chief examiner pulled back the sheet Harry gasped. Draco had a small scar just above his jawline on the left side. It had been from a childhood Quidditch injury, and very few people knew about it, since it was so faint.
The body here had no such scar.
Unless it was some trick of the light - which Harry very much doubted it would be - this was not the corpse of Draco Malfoy.
***
"Yes, this is him." Harry nodded. "This is Draco Malfoy."
"Okay, thank you sir."
The sheet was put back in place.
***
So if that wasn't his lover, Harry thought...
***
He became lost in a sea of confusion, one thought cancelling out the next. Harry wrung his hands in frustration. So many questions and no answers.
But without Harry knowing it, the answers to all his questions lay so very close to him, in the form of...
----
afterdinnermints:
*evil grin*
Sorry ^_^
So what exactly has happened?? The body - is Harry again mistaken? Is it just wishful thinking that he thinks it isn't Draco? Is Draco dead, or isn't he?
Find out the truth, in Chapter 12 of The Velvet Darkness!
And yes! I promise the truth is coming! ^_^
BTW: This chapter was reposted to include a little bit at the start that I missed out before. Sorry everone! But yes, the next chapter is coming very soon :)
Thankyou to all who have reviewed...u know I luv ya ta bits!