He had been drinking for hours. The night had been closing in on him like the jaws of a venus fly-trap plant, wrapping its tendrils around him and suffocating him with the incredible void of loneliness. Sombre and unsobre, Harry Potter was lost like so many times before in the clutches of memory.
It was late. Even most of the regular boozers and brawlers had left for the evening. The bar was closing, a few last patrons spilling out drunkenly into the street, leaning on each other and laughing loudly at jokes that were hardly funny, not even to them. Harry sat miserably on the stool at the corner of the bar, the only sounds coming from the clink and splash as the barman rinsed and washed glasses.
"Harry Potter." At the sudden voice beside him, he slowly raised his eyes to its owner. Stained fingers ground the cigarette into the worn shabby bar counter and he instantly sobered up from his coma-like silent reverie.
"Yes?" He mumbled, not quite recognising the face.
"Are you that drunk you don't recognise me, Potter?" The same dry voice, and bottomless amber eyes. Perhaps partly it was that Harry was drunk - it was evident in the way the essence of the liqour clung to his clothes. But perhaps it was mostly that his brain had almost completely shut off the past as a separate reality he had lived. In a time that had been, and a place that was, he had been happy. But those days were over to him, and with that unhapy ending he had also shut off the people who had made up that reality. Seeing this person here, in a muggle bar, with the same dark expression as he remembered from all those years ago...the shock hit Harry like a tidal wave.
****
Like a crashing wave. Like I'm getting lost in an ocean of the past, and it is drowning me. Bits of floatwood pass me by...and I recognise them as memories. Of everything my mind fought so hard to leave behind. Everything I refused to believe in any more, ever since they abandoned me. The hope I have lost and the things I try to hide from. They have found me.
And Severus Snape now, like a dark messenger, sent to bring me back to where it all began, or all of that back to me.
I am scared, though I know not why.
***
His eyes were lined with dark rings indicating his lack of sleep, and his skin even more sickly than when he had last seen him. And for a split second his eyes glowed with sympathetic warmth - or what looked like it. Perhaps the broken, daze Harry had won over his empathy. Not a chance. The Severus Snape Harry Potter had learned to love hating came back full force, his yelling drawing the attention of the barman.
"Mr. Potter how dare you let yourself waste away like this. Have you no shame? Have you no sense of decency? Your lover-"
A startled look.
"Yes Potter your LOVER, is letting himself fade away in some muggle caravan park and instead of doing everything possible in your power to save him you are giving up like some common lout and letting yourself become a drunken buffoon. Have I taught you nothing of self help boy? Think of your parents! Granted I never got along with your father I am sure they would be nothing less of disgusted with your present state if they were here. And what of Draco Malfoy, hmm? Yes Potter I trust you are very much familiar with the youngest of the Malfoy line. What do you suppose he would think, if he were to see what you have let yourself become?"
The barman let out a sudden yell of surprise and fright as every single glass on the shelves behind him smashed on their own accord, sending flying glass shards everywhere, showering to the floor in a dangerous cacophony of tinkling glass. "You complete bastard." Harry snarled, his voice a menacing almost animalistic growl. "You utter and complete miserable prick! How can you even mention his name!" Harry screamed, losing his control that had been barely there to begin with. "How dare you accuse me not making an effort to find HIM! You have no idea - no FUCKING idea, what I have gone through to try and find him."
Severus Snape stared with an eerie calmness at the boy, but had anyone cared to notice they would have seen that the larger man had taken a step backwards, obviously intimidated by the fury being unleashed upon him. Harry continued his rant, as every glass in the house shattered, pieces of window pane flying through the night outside, and lightbulbs bursting, leaving them in a kind of gloomy, moonlit shadow world, where hatred, misery and melancholy reigned.
"You have no idea of the fucking pain that stabs me every time I even THINK of him. You have no idea how pathetic I feel, senselessly screwing anything on two legs and losing myself while imagining it's him beneath me and not another stupid one night stand. You have NO IDEA OF ANYTHING!" Harry's voice cracked, his throat hoarse from the tirade he had launched upon Severus Snape. He grimaced crookedly now, pointing a finger accusingly at Snape. "It's because you have never loved nor been loved. You don't know the sheer agony that is true love. And now you're here to mock me because I do."
"Perhaps I do not." Snape ignored the stinging at the back of his eyes. The boy looked so uncannily like his mother. "And perhaps I can not fix that pain. But I am here, Mr. Potter, to reunite you with the only one who can."
----
*dodges glares* I realise how very VERY overdue this chapter is, along with many other new chapters for the 10 or so unfinished stories, but I do apologise deeply for the apparent abandoning of my works. It was not intentional, and by no means did I forget about them or lose interest. I could never do that. It simply became a matter of priorities and other commitments took up my time.
I continue to dearly appreciate the support and messages some of you have sent me, and the very nice reviews I have received. Rest assured that as soon as I can, I will try to update the other works.
It was late. Even most of the regular boozers and brawlers had left for the evening. The bar was closing, a few last patrons spilling out drunkenly into the street, leaning on each other and laughing loudly at jokes that were hardly funny, not even to them. Harry sat miserably on the stool at the corner of the bar, the only sounds coming from the clink and splash as the barman rinsed and washed glasses.
"Harry Potter." At the sudden voice beside him, he slowly raised his eyes to its owner. Stained fingers ground the cigarette into the worn shabby bar counter and he instantly sobered up from his coma-like silent reverie.
"Yes?" He mumbled, not quite recognising the face.
"Are you that drunk you don't recognise me, Potter?" The same dry voice, and bottomless amber eyes. Perhaps partly it was that Harry was drunk - it was evident in the way the essence of the liqour clung to his clothes. But perhaps it was mostly that his brain had almost completely shut off the past as a separate reality he had lived. In a time that had been, and a place that was, he had been happy. But those days were over to him, and with that unhapy ending he had also shut off the people who had made up that reality. Seeing this person here, in a muggle bar, with the same dark expression as he remembered from all those years ago...the shock hit Harry like a tidal wave.
****
Like a crashing wave. Like I'm getting lost in an ocean of the past, and it is drowning me. Bits of floatwood pass me by...and I recognise them as memories. Of everything my mind fought so hard to leave behind. Everything I refused to believe in any more, ever since they abandoned me. The hope I have lost and the things I try to hide from. They have found me.
And Severus Snape now, like a dark messenger, sent to bring me back to where it all began, or all of that back to me.
I am scared, though I know not why.
***
His eyes were lined with dark rings indicating his lack of sleep, and his skin even more sickly than when he had last seen him. And for a split second his eyes glowed with sympathetic warmth - or what looked like it. Perhaps the broken, daze Harry had won over his empathy. Not a chance. The Severus Snape Harry Potter had learned to love hating came back full force, his yelling drawing the attention of the barman.
"Mr. Potter how dare you let yourself waste away like this. Have you no shame? Have you no sense of decency? Your lover-"
A startled look.
"Yes Potter your LOVER, is letting himself fade away in some muggle caravan park and instead of doing everything possible in your power to save him you are giving up like some common lout and letting yourself become a drunken buffoon. Have I taught you nothing of self help boy? Think of your parents! Granted I never got along with your father I am sure they would be nothing less of disgusted with your present state if they were here. And what of Draco Malfoy, hmm? Yes Potter I trust you are very much familiar with the youngest of the Malfoy line. What do you suppose he would think, if he were to see what you have let yourself become?"
The barman let out a sudden yell of surprise and fright as every single glass on the shelves behind him smashed on their own accord, sending flying glass shards everywhere, showering to the floor in a dangerous cacophony of tinkling glass. "You complete bastard." Harry snarled, his voice a menacing almost animalistic growl. "You utter and complete miserable prick! How can you even mention his name!" Harry screamed, losing his control that had been barely there to begin with. "How dare you accuse me not making an effort to find HIM! You have no idea - no FUCKING idea, what I have gone through to try and find him."
Severus Snape stared with an eerie calmness at the boy, but had anyone cared to notice they would have seen that the larger man had taken a step backwards, obviously intimidated by the fury being unleashed upon him. Harry continued his rant, as every glass in the house shattered, pieces of window pane flying through the night outside, and lightbulbs bursting, leaving them in a kind of gloomy, moonlit shadow world, where hatred, misery and melancholy reigned.
"You have no idea of the fucking pain that stabs me every time I even THINK of him. You have no idea how pathetic I feel, senselessly screwing anything on two legs and losing myself while imagining it's him beneath me and not another stupid one night stand. You have NO IDEA OF ANYTHING!" Harry's voice cracked, his throat hoarse from the tirade he had launched upon Severus Snape. He grimaced crookedly now, pointing a finger accusingly at Snape. "It's because you have never loved nor been loved. You don't know the sheer agony that is true love. And now you're here to mock me because I do."
"Perhaps I do not." Snape ignored the stinging at the back of his eyes. The boy looked so uncannily like his mother. "And perhaps I can not fix that pain. But I am here, Mr. Potter, to reunite you with the only one who can."
----
*dodges glares* I realise how very VERY overdue this chapter is, along with many other new chapters for the 10 or so unfinished stories, but I do apologise deeply for the apparent abandoning of my works. It was not intentional, and by no means did I forget about them or lose interest. I could never do that. It simply became a matter of priorities and other commitments took up my time.
I continue to dearly appreciate the support and messages some of you have sent me, and the very nice reviews I have received. Rest assured that as soon as I can, I will try to update the other works.