Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to everyone else except me. Sue me for the hole in my pocket.

Perspective
written by: da*mouse

Part 1
Yoh : All That Matters

I wonder what matters…

It is just another day in my life: I'm running around the block with heavy-weights strapped to my wrists and ankles, as it has been going on for the past few years, with Anna leaning against the gate to our house, holding a stop-watch in her hand.

Days like these are typical: for me, my life consists of going to school and training. Perhaps I could've avoided the training part in my later years, but no, my annoyingly evil twin brother Hao just had to mess up the Shaman King tournament with the whole I-want-to-take-over-the-world scenario when we were 13, causing the tournament to be postponed indefinitely.

That means I am still not the Shaman King.

And that means I still have to train like hell. Under Anna's watchful eye. Under Anna's very watchful, and sharp eyes.

But hey, I've grown accustomed to that. The training, I mean. Of course, I'll be jumping for joy if Anna decides to stop my training, that means I can laze around more.

If Anna stops my training, I presume I'll see a pig flying past my window.

But I am used to it. .

I'm used to her...

I can see Anna's glare directing towards me. Oops. Pick up those feet, Yoh! I just have to give myself the encouragement.

Ren wonders why I put up to Anna. Sadistic woman, he calls her. Those exact words. He is always encouraging me to defy Anna.

I don't bother pointing out to him that even he meekly listens to Anna at times. You just don't defy Anna. Unless you think your life is too long, and you want have it shortened.

The thing is, I am used to it. All of it. The harsh training, and Anna herself. I can't, and I won't deny that my training has turned me into a much stronger shaman. Very much stronger.

And Anna...

She's been in my life for far too long. Honestly, life without Anna...? I don't know how it will be like.

Everything will be just...different. Too different, maybe.

I can't imagine it...


Anna is...I don't know, she is like a force in my life. Always pushing me, and forcing me to be better, because she knows that I can be better. She wants me to make the most of my potential.

For myself.

We are very different, in so many ways, and yet so alike, in others.

We were both lonely children, when our engagement was announced. I was a child that everyone thought was weird. She was one that everyone thought was scary. At that time...well...I thought Grandfather had gotten too old, or senile, to suggest that me, Yoh, was to be engaged at the mere age of 10. I was too young to understand what is going on.

I always had the idea that Anna did. Knew what was going on, I mean. She seemed to understand what 'engagement' meant. I just thought that it meant someday I'll marry her and we'll grow old together, blah blah. It never occurred to me to reject the idea. Anna, on the other hand, understood more than I did. Engagement, and marriage, is more, much more than I had thought. It meant much more, as I now have understood.

Anna is always the more mature one, the stronger one, compared to me.

Something binds us together. Maybe it is because of that incident, the battle with Anna's ghosts from the first time we met. It is something that will bring two people together.

What happened in Osorezan, had created a bond between us. Somehow, I know that we will always go through life together, whether is she my fiancée or not.

And the bond grows stronger gradually, day by day.

We are bound together...

I thought she didn't like me. No, I knew that she didn't like me. At first glance, I mean.

How can I forget that first meeting, when she literally asked me to go to hell?

That was what brought about my first impression: she didn't like me.

And I?

I thought she was cute.

I still think she is cute. Very, as a matter of fact.

I liked Anna then, in spite of her asking me to go to hell, slapping me, and making me cry.

And I like Anna now, in spite of her coolness and harsh training.

I've always liked her...

Which is strange, to say the least.

One will perceive it as being impossible, the fact that I have feelings for her, seeing the way she treats me. One will say the only feelings I can have for her is resentment.

But I don't resent her, I like her, and I myself don't really understand why.

Maybe because I know her reasons for wanting me to train, even though it is hard. She wants me to be strong, so that I can survive the Shaman King tournament. She wants the best for me. She wants to help me to achieve my dream.

She attracts me. Her strong personality, her ability to keep her cool at all situations, her determination. Her blonde hair, her lithe figure, her eyes, and most of all, the way she always secretly smiles to herself when she thinks I am not noticing, although that isn't often.

Above everything else, she always has her trust in me. That is one thing I feel from her, that never falters. Anna always trusts me. She has faith in me whenever I lose faith in myself. And it is that faith of hers that keeps me going.

As Anna will say, maybe I'm not really making sense.

But...

It is just every little thing she does for me.

I like the idea of her sewing battle suits for me. I like to think of that as a way that she cares for me. I do hope she cares for me, because I care for her.

Scratch that, I know she cares for me. Everyone else will laugh at the idea, but I know. I don't know how I know, but I just do. Maybe it's because in spite of everything, I do understand her.

Being with Anna makes me feel different.

Seeing her makes my pulse goes just a bit faster, and makes my smile grows just a bit wider. I want to make her happy.

For that matter, I think...I just think...

That...I...

...might be in love.

With Anna.

Am I in love?

Whoa. Where did that come from?

But...

Am I?

Has my liking for Anna developed to something more? Without even me noticing?

I just have to sit down for a while and think about this. Besides, I am out of Anna's sight, so that should be all right.

Love...am I too young to be thinking about this? Is there a suitable age for falling in love? Crud, I don't know. It's not like I am an expert in this field.

I like Anna, I know for a fact that I do, really do. Do I love her?

I can't imagine life without her. I care about her, very much. I will never allow anyone to harm her. I'll never want to see her sad, or make her cry (although she often made me cry in the past). I only want to see her happy, if not, contented.

Above all things, I will protect her, always, with my life, if needed.

Anna...Her determination, her strength...

Everything she says...everything she does...it matters. Very much.

I don't know how, or why, or when, or whatever...I am just sitting there, thinking it out, when suddenly, it just hits me.

Hits me hard, and out of the blue, like a huge bolt of lightning.

I love Anna.

I love her...

How can I not? We've been through so much together, through matters of life and death. I need her to be with me. She is one person that really understands me.

Manta, Ren and the gang are great guys, but they can never understand me the way Anna does. Anna…is my first friend, and my best friend.

My best friend. And I love her for that.

I pick myself up and resume my jogging, still startled by my own realisation.

I love her.

Somehow, the thought brings a huge, and presumably, silly grin to my face.

I love her.

I can't wait to see her.

I love her.

My heart feels like it is about to burst.

I love her.

I reach the gate, where Anna is standing, tapping the watch with a huge frown on her face. "Yoh, you're slower by..." I cut her off by embracing her in a hug. I hear her gasp in surprise, as her stopwatch clatters onto the ground.

I probably will get slapped for this afterwards. But I don't care.

I love her, and I want to show it. I want to let her know. I want to let myself know.

Holding her in my arms, just feels so right, so comfortable.

It makes all my earlier thinking on the facts and figures of the reasons why I like, no, love, Anna seem silly and insignificant.

After all, I don't need reasons for loving Anna.

I just do.

All that matters is I love her...

-Finis-

Okay, so that was weird. And so not like Yoh. Believe me, I tried to keep him in character, but it's so hard trying to keep Yoh in character because his character is not a simple one. I guess this is as good as it gets, from yours truly.

Anyway, I can tell you where this idea came from. From Kage NoTenshi (thank you!), whose review in my fic Just To Smile notes something about Yoh getting used to Anna's coldness. And there's where the idea for this fic popped up, I thought I'll do a Yoh perspective on why he love Anna. Even though it turned out...weird. OOC. Blah. The works.

By the way, I am really worried about going OOC. I need you guys to tell me whether am I or not. So...review! Comment! Flame! Just so it is constructive.

If this sucks, I am not going to do the Anna perspective. If it's acceptable, I'm game. It depends on you guys. ;)

da*mouse ®
posted 29th May 2003
5.01 a.m.

p.s. all the bits about Yoh and Anna's childhood taken from the manga.

p.p.s. you will note that Yoh and Anna are older than they are in the manga/anime. I have problems with pre-teens saying "love", so yeah. Sue me.