Authors Note: Well, I've been a while in updating (long live the
holidays!), but hopefully this chapter will make up for it. It's my
LONGEST yet! Don't let that put you off though, its split into different
sections. Thanks for all the reviews you guys, it means a lot. Enjoy!
Jean was sitting on the stone steps to the Institute doorway. A cool autumn breeze ran through her hair, making in fall in scarlet waves over her shoulders. She shivered. It was almost nine O'clock in the morning and she should have gone to school ages ago. But she couldn't leave. Not until she had seen Scott.
The distant purr of an engine increased as the slick red sports car pulled into the Institute driveway. She looked up suddenly, allowing a small sigh of relief to escape her parted lips. The car slowed to a half at the foot of the stairs, Jean rushing to greet the driver as he stepped out onto the road.
"Scott," she breathed, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist "I'm so glad you're back."
The young leader blinked in surprise, eyes hidden behind crimson glasses. Her body felt warm pressed against him like that --- despite the situation, it was a nice feeling.
"I'm fine," he told her earnestly. Tentatively, he placed his hand on her hair. "You shouldn't have worried."
After a moment, she broke away. Staring up at him, her eyebrows pulled together in a look of searching.
"Did you find him?"
Scott sighed and shook his head wearily. "No, and I looked everywhere. It's like he just vanished."
She rested her fingers lightly on his arm. "He'll be alright, Scott."
He frowned, worried. "I hope so."
The two seniors regarded each other silently for a moment, a look of understanding passing between them. Scott and Jean had their differences, but they stood by each other when it mattered. Even if nothing else ever happened between them, they were friends. That would never change.
A sudden sound shattered the moment. They both turned in surprise as Rogue slammed the car door shut.
Jean was the first to recover. Taking a step away from Scott, she wrapped her arms around herself in a light hug. "Rogue," she frowned, not understanding "What were you doing in there? I thought that you were still in your room."
The gothic painted girl sniffed, shrugging one shoulder. "I just needed some air, is all."
Jean paused doubtfully and glanced to the boy standing nearby. He shook his head - obviously, it wasn't a good time to question her about where she had gone. One swift look at Rogue explained why. Tear streaked makeup and a heavy shoulder bag ----
---- she had tried to run away.
Jean's first instinct was to place a comforting hand on her shoulder and try to get her to talk about it. If it had been Kitty, that is exactly what she would have done. But this wasn't Kitty. This was Rogue. Their relationship might have improved somewhat since the little incident with her power surge, but Jean didn't try to kid herself that Rogue would ever feel any friendship towards her. That was just the way that things were.
Pressing her glossy lips together, she nodded. "Alright then. The Professor is in his study if you need anything."
"Okay."
Jean stood awkwardly for a moment, waiting. After a few seconds, it became obvious that Rogue had nothing further to say to her.
Digging her hands into her jean pockets, she looked up at Scott. "We'd better get to class, Scott. It's Anderson for Math and we've already missed most of the lesson."
The X Men leader frowned. "No. I'm heading out again --- see if I can find Kurt. You'll just have to tell Anderson that I'm sick or something"
"Professor X won't allow it. He says that we have to try and keep everything as normal as possible."
He shook his head and took a step towards the car. "Sorry Jean, but Kurt's my responsibility. I have to go and look for him."
"And what about your responsibility to the rest of the kids?" She asked him softly. "If you start freaking out, then they will too. This is a bad situation and an Institute full of worried kids is the last thing we need. You know how they'll react ---- it'll be chaos."
He paused doubtfully, lowering his head. Thick curtains of hazel hair fell across his brow. He wanted to be out looking for Kurt. He was like a brother to Scott, if anything happened to him ----
He felt someone come to stand next to him. It was Jean. She touched him lightly on the cheek, brushing against his skin with her fingers. He half wondered if she was reading his mind.
"Professor Xavier has called his parents," she murmured quietly, "They'll be here on the first available flight. But until they arrive, there's nothing more that we can do. He's been gone too long - you'd never find him. All that we can do now is wait. You've got to stay strong, Scott, the team's counting on you."
Scott sighed. He was so tired --- his head hurt when he tried to think. It felt like he was being torn in two.
He looked up, and his eyes met with Rogue's. To him she appeared in shades of scarlet, and it half occurred to him to wonder what she looked like in real life. A part of him knew that she would be pretty.
"Jean's right, Scott."
"But-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know." She frowned and rubbed her forehead. "But there ain't anything that you can do to help him now."
He watched her closely for a moment. Her hair was still damp and tussled from the earlier rain - if Kurt were here, he probably would have made some joke about it. Something along the lines of, 'Tina Turner needs her wig back'. And Scott, in his role as the responsible young X Man, would have reprimanded him. But now? It was strange, but he would have given anything to hear one of Kurt's stupid little quips.
But he wasn't here, and Scott was powerless to do anything about it. Rogue was right about that. There was nothing that he could do.
He nodded slowly, shoulders sagging. "Alright. I'll leave it."
A warm hand slid into his own. Jean steered him towards the car, smiling gently. He tried to return the smile, but couldn't. It didn't matter -she understood.
A sudden thought hit him and he turned to look at Rogue. She was still standing where she had been before, silent and motionless, pale against the grey sky.
Scott frowned. "Hey, do you need anything? I could walk you inside if you want --- make you a hot drink. Have you eaten today?"
Rogue stared at him sadly. She was confused --- mixed up --- but a part of her was touched by his concern. He looked every bit as lost as she felt, and yet she was still his first priority. She would have laughed, were the situation different. Always thinking of others. She guessed that was why he was the leader - it suited him.
"I'm fine," she assured him wearily, "There's some stuff that I need to do. Its kind of private, you know?"
Scott nodded. "I understand."
"Scott?"
"Yeah Rogue?"
She paused awkwardly. "Thanks. You know --- for what you did back there."
He made a slight shrug. "I'm glad that you came back."
"So am I."
She watched as he got into the car with Jean, pulled out of the drive way on the road the Bayville High School. Rogue watched them until they disappeared out of the Institute gates. She waited for a moment, turned and began walking slowly up the stone steps --- to the study where Xavier would be waiting for her ----
Tick --- tick ---- tick --- tick ---
Todd Tolanski watched the clock with hungry eyes. His skinny fingers drummed an illegible beat on the table top, head nodding along to a tune only he could hear. Just his luck to have English first lesson. Todd's brain had enough problems thinking logically at this time in the morning without forcing him to plough through Shakespeare.
He glanced sideways at Freddy, who was sitting at the desk immediately next to him. Between themselves they had managed to claim a remote corner of the classroom. It hadn't been difficult. People didn't exactly queue to be around them.
"Hey, Fed," he hissed.
The large mutant frowned, but didn't look over.
"Fred!"
He growled in frustration and shot the Toad a look of annoyance. "Leave me alone, will ya? They're just getting to the best part!"
Todd blinked incredulously. "Best part of what? Hamlet?"
Freddy scowled and blushed deep scarlet. "It's a good play," he muttered, by means of defense.
Anyone else would have laughed. Big stupid Fred Dukes having a taste for Shakespeare? It was surreal to say the least. But Todd didn't laugh. Out of all of the Brotherhood members, Fred was probably the one who he felt closest to. He was the first real friend that Todd ever made, and it probably worked visa versa.
The pale boy scratched his head thoughtfully. "You mean you understand that junk?"
Fred smiled slightly and nodded. "My pop had the Lawrence Olivier version on tape. He'd play it every Friday when I got home from school."
Todd nodded. "Sounds cool."
"It was."
Freddy didn't talk about his past much and that was fine by Todd, but small details like watching Hamlet tapes with his dad --- they meant a lot to Fred. The Toad could appreciate how personal they were, and, in his own small way, he was honored that he had shared them with him.
He shook his head. "Anyway, I've got to tell you something."
"What's that?"
There was an exasperated groan from the seat in front of him, and a pretty blonde haired girl twirled around to look at him. For a moment, he was hopeful that she was going to talk to him, but the frown of annoyance on her face quickly shot that small dream down.
"Todd Tolanski, will you, like, shut up? I'm trying to work here."
He rolled his pale eyes and snorted. He'd been insulted since the day he was born, what harm could one more do him?
The girl - Sam? Yeah, that was her name - turned back in her seat, flicking her ponytail over her shoulder. "It's bad enough that we have to smell you without having to listen to you as well."
He slumped down slower in his chair till his chin was on level with the desk. If he had had any ego left, it would have crumpled. Instead he simply muttered darkly and picked up his pencil.
Beside him, he saw Fred's considerable bulk shift. A familiar snarl crossed his face and he made as if to stand. Todd quickly shook his head and gestured for him to sit down. The last thing that Bayville needed was an angry Fred Dukes on their hands.
Freddy watched him uneasily before nodding. He slowly sunk back in his seat, shooting hard glares to the blonde haired Sam. Despite himself, Todd was pleased. That was the one thing that you could depend on the Brotherhood for - they always looked out for their own. He'd get back at Sam later - probably slime her lunch or something - but it was nice that Fred was ready to stick up for him.
He was getting kind of fond of that big guy.
"Pietro says that he's got some big news for us at break," he whispered, "Called an official Brotherhood meeting an' everything."
"Why?"
Todd shrugged. "What do I look like? Jean Grey?? How the heck would I know?"
Freddy thought for a moment before sighing. Maybe it was the Jean Grey reference, but he looked troubled.
"Yeah, okay. We meeting in the cafeteria?"
"Nope. Bleachers. I think Pietro's got his eye on one of the cheerleaders."
There was a weary rumble of resignation and then a silence. Fred's attention was back to Shakespeare, steadily tracing the lines with a gigantic finger as he read them. Todd watched him for a moment before turning to his own book, screwing his eyes suspiciously at the text and frowning.
--- Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer/ The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune/ Or to take arms against a sea of troubles/ And by opposing end them. ---
Actually, he thought, Fred might have a point. That Shakespeare guy really knew his stuff. He just wished that he understood what it meant.
He looked hopefully back up at the clock again. To his disappointment, only five minutes had passed.
Resting his head against his hand, Todd began to read.
The rain may have finished an hour since, but the clouds remained. Bruised and heavy, they smothered any patch of blue sky that might have existed, enveloping Bayville in endless grey. The browning leaves rattled dryly as a cold breeze tore through them. Strange, Charles thought, how only a month ago they had been in the middle of a heat wave.
How long ago it seemed.
The telepath sighed and lowered his head thoughtfully, staring at nothing and seeing everything. The Xavier Academy had been his dream for a lifetime. He had sacrificed much to ensure its survival, but it had been worth it. The X Men --- they were more than he could have ever hoped for, and more than that --- the children themselves. Charles Xavier had never had a family of his own, but he had come to care for his students in a way that went beyond his role as a teacher. He truly loved them, as only a father could.
And now?
Charles closed his eyes. Everything had changed now. Because of his mistake, Kurt had run away, and Rogue had tried to do the same. He had lost their trust in a way that could be irreparable, and that thought hurt him more deeply than anything he had ever experienced in his life.
For the first time since setting up the Xavier Institute, Charles was beginning to question his worth as the Leader of the X Men. Because of his judgment, his decision not to tell Rogue and Kurt about their family connection, he had driven them away from the one place that he had hoped that they could feel safe. He was only human, but could he ever forgive himself for such a lack of foresight? More to the point, would Kurt and Rogue ever forgive him?
He didn't know, but he feared for the worst.
"Professor?"
The word was spoken low, a hoarse murmur with a lilting southern accent. He wasn't surprised. He had sensed her presence before she had even spoken. Remaining with his back towards her, he nodded slowly.
"Yes, Rogue. Please come in."
He heard the sound of heavy boots shuffling awkwardly across the plush carpet, coming to halt halfway across the room. She stood, silent and waiting, expectant. He could sense her anger.
"I suppose that you want to know why I didn't tell you about Mystique."
Rogue stared at him darkly. "I guess."
His brown eyes slid open slowly, looking out at the tall french windows with uncustomary sadness. A low gust of wind ran over the grass, making dancers out of the fallen leaves. Despite the warmth of the office Charles felt suddenly cold.
He sighed, again. "I thought that I was doing the right thing."
"To lie? To keep the truth from me?"
He swallowed and shook his head. "I didn't mean for you to find out in that way."
A black snarl temporarily disfigured her face. "If it had been up to you, I wouldn't have found out at all," she spat venomously.
"That's not true-" he began to protest, but then stopped. A slow look of thought came over him, eyebrows pulling together as he searched deep within himself. Had he ever meant to tell her? Really? He had thought that time would be sometime in the distant future, far removed from any question of here and now. When Rogue and Kurt were READY to receive such information -- - that was when he told himself that he would tell them. But would they ever have been ready? Or would Xavier have kept it from them their whole lives, until the secret died with him? He didn't know, but it did raise unsettling questions. He wasn't certain that he wanted the answer to them.
His head sagged wearily. "I'm so sorry."
Behind him, beyond of his field of sight, the young girl trembled with rage. He could sense her anger - she practically glowed with it.
"Sorry?" she whispered hoarsely "You think that sorry's gonna make everything alright again?"
He wheeled himself away from the window so that he faced her, and for the first time was confronted with Rogue herself. She looked terrible. Still dressed in the clothes that she was wearing last night, her earlier walk through the rain had disheveled her striped hair, making it stick tentacle- like to her pale face. Her dark make-up was smudged and streaked, eyes wild and staring. He remembered how fierce Kurt had looked last night. Something had changed in both of them, and Charles wasn't sure how to make it right again.
"You have to believe that I did what I did because I wanted to protect you."
"From what?" she cried, unconsciously curling one gloved hand into a fist, "The truth?!"
"From Mystique. She manipulates people, Rogue --- she lies. What if it was a trap, like the last time that she offered to tell Kurt the truth about his past? You know that he would stop at nothing to find out what his origins are --- he would unwittingly teleport right into another Brotherhood ambush, and he would have taken you with him."
She shook her head, darkly painted lips pulled downward. "You don't know that."
He looked up at her. "Don't I? You've seen inside Kurt's mind, as have I. You know how his quest for his past consumes him. To give him a revaluation like this --- that you might be his sister --- it would have done far more harm than good."
"But what about me?!" she shrieked, tears beginning to swell in her eyes "Why didn't you tell me?!"
Charles felt the shift in her emotion. Rage was quickly subdued into grief, but for Professor X, that only made the situation worse. Clouded with guilt and regret, he tried to push away his own feelings for Rogue's sake. He succeeded, but found a hard lump forming in his throat nonetheless.
"You had been lied to you're whole life, how could I put you in a situation that allowed others to hurt you again?" In contrast to her anguished cries, Charles purposefully kept his voice low and even. He knew that is he lost his focus now, he would have lost her, forever.
"So you thought that you'd lie to me instead." She sniffed despondently, glaring at him with undisguised anger. "Do you know the reason why I left the Brotherhood? Because Mystique kept the truth from me." She shook her head. "I was a fool to think that you would be any different."
He looked up at her desperately. "It's true that I concealed the truth from you, yes. But you know that I'm not the same as Mystique. What she did she did out of malice and her will to control you. I did it because I cared. You and Nightcrawler are very dear to me, as are all of the X Men. I-I didn't want to see you hurt --- I wanted to protect you ---"
He trailed into silence, not able to finish what he had said. Closing his eyes, he turned his head away from her, a shadow falling over his expression.
"I'm sorry Rogue."
There was a muted moment.
"You really hurt me."
He looked up quickly, brow contorted in a look of sorrow. "That was not my intention."
The gothic painted girl shrugged, eyes trained on the floor. She was still now, motionless. He could feel her grief, that had not subsided, but there was something else as well. Acceptance. He wondered if this was a part of Scott Summer's influence.
"I understand why you didn't tell me." She looked up at him, eyes still streaming. "But don't you ever do it again, or I swear I am out of that door and I am never coming back."
He shook his head sincerely, a small beacon of hope alighted. "Rogue?"
She paused hesitantly. "I-I'm not saying that everything's just gonna go back to the way it was. Too much has happened for that. But --- I'm willing to give it another try --- if you are that is."
He took a deep breath, sad smile spreading slowly. "If that's what you want."
She nodded. "It is."
There wasn't anything left to say. Rogue had done what she had come for, and now all she wanted to do was to be alone. She looked at the telepath, their eyes meeting for the first time since she had come into the room. Grey met brown, and for a brief instant there was a kind of understanding between them. She had been wrong. They were a family. And family always forgave each other.
Just like Kurt had always forgiven her -----
Wordlessly, she turned and walked from the room.
Charles stared after her for a moment, gaze fixed on the space where she had last been standing. Despite himself, he smiled thoughtfully. Kurt may have been beyond his help now, but Rogue ----
Rogue was going to be okay.
He didn't fool himself into thinking that it would be an overnight change. It wouldn't. It might take weeks, months, years maybe, before she could bring herself to trust him again. But given time ----
He wheeled himself back to the window. Despite the sallow grey of the sky, he imagined that he saw a patch of sunshine. It was far away, hazy and uncertain on the horizon, but it was definitely there. A light for him to take comfort in.
Staring out at the Institute gardens, he watched the leaves blow across the lawn. It would take a long time, but she would recover. And he would be there for her when she needed him.
It was what any father would have done.
"GO BAYVILLE!"
With one final cry, the cheerleaders finished in triumphant star jumps. They held the pose for five seconds, each trying desperately to out-smile the girl next to her. A whistle blew and they sagged back to normal, throwing down their pompoms and trotting towards the locker-room.
Todd Tolanski ogled the swiftly retreating girls from where he was sitting on the bleachers. The Sam chick from English class was amongst them, blonde ponytail swinging as she laughed with a friend.
He elbowed Freddy in the gut. "Hey, Blob. What do you think they do in there?"
The large boy frowned and looked around. "Where?"
"CIA headquarters." He quipped sarcastically, rolling his pale eyes. "The girl's locker room, you idiot."
Fred thought for a moment before shrugging. "I dunno. Shower, I guess."
"Oh man, what I wouldn't give for invisibility power right now!"
Lance, sitting on the bench just above them, chewed idly on a finger nail. "Lets face it Toad, that's the only way that you're ever going to see naked women --- short of paying for it that is."
Todd was about to shoot an angry comment back at him when Pietro joined the group. He had just been talking to one of the cheerleaders and wore the look of a conquering hero. Grinning smugly, he showed them the scrap of paper that he held in his hand.
"Look on, losers; because this is the closest you're ever going to get to a chick's phone number."
Lance shifted over to give the silver haired mutant room to sit. He rested his chin in his hand, raising a thick eyebrow. "Please tell me that you got her name this time?"
Pietro scowled. "What do you take me for? Some kind of man whore?! Its -- - erm---" he thought for a moment, "Becky. I'm sure its Becky. Or maybe Christie ---- anyway, who cares? Trust me, it not their names that count. Not that you guys would know," he sniggered.
Todd hopped around on his seat so that he was facing him. His pale face was pulled into a look of irritation. "So? Come on, what's the deal? I ain't sitting here for my health you know."
Pietro leaned back and coolly considered the gathered Brotherhood members. "Trust me, it's worth waiting for. Where's Wanda?"
"Her exact words were - and I quote - 'if that little sleaze thinks that I'm going to drop everything to be at his beck and call, he's got another thing coming'." Lance smiled and shrugged. "I got the general impression that she wasn't going to come."
Pietro blinked and looked away. His sister was still a sore subject, and he didn't plan on pushing her too far. If she didn't want to turn up, then he would just leave it at that. "Fine," he growled irritably "It's not like she won't find out sooner or later."
There was another pause.
Todd grew increasingly impatient. "Come on, spill it already!"
The boy raised a snowy white eyebrow. "I was trying to build the suspense. Guess that's wasted on losers like you guys. Anyway, the reason that I called you guys together is that I've got news. Big news. And the way I see it, it involves all of us. The big boss ladies been keeping secrets again, only this time, she's brought them home to the Brotherhood House."
Lance frowned. He was the unofficial leader of the Brotherhood, and, in his own way, he felt a kind of responsibility to protect them. He didn't like things going on without him knowing. It undermined his authority.
"What are you talking about? What's Mystique up to?"
Pietro dropped his usual carefree façade, adopting a more serious look. "I heard her talking on the phone last night, to someone called Irene. She was talking about something --- I didn't understand what ---- but then she starts going on about Nightcrawler. You'll never guess what's happened?" He looked around at the other boys. "The little blue creep's only gone and left the X Men!"
There was a unified intake of breath as the other three members of the Brotherhood reeled back in shock. The news was --- unexpected, to say the least. The Toad looked like he was going to have a heart attack.
"That's not even the half of it!" Pietro leaned forward, blue eyes gleaming. "I heard her tell Irene --- he's staying with us! At the Brotherhood boarding house!"
"What?!" Lance stood up quickly, eyebrows pulled together in a dark glare. "Since when?!"
"What, are you deaf? Last night."
Lance snarled. "Mystique can't just make decisions like that! We should be consulted." Angrily pacing the bleachers, he shot Pietro a look. "Why is he there? What happened with him and the X Men?"
His friend shook his head. "I've got super-speed and a magnetic charm for the ladies, but I've got limits, you know. I'm not a telepath. Funny thing is, Scott Summers and Jean Grey turned up late for school this morning --- Anderson's got them both in detention hall. And Rogue didn't show at all." He leaned back against the hard wooden bench, idly flicking a strand of hair from his eyes. "I'm thinking that there's something screwy going on in the X geek mansion."
Lance frowned thoughtfully. Peitro was right, something was definitely wrong here. Kurt Wagner joining the Brotherhood? It just didn't add up.
Freddy looked up at the Brotherhood leader, scratching his head. "What are you gonna do?"
He pressed his mouth into a grim line, jaw clenched together.
"I'm going to track down our beloved leader, that's what I'm going to do. Mystique's got a lot of explaining to do."
Fred frowned. "But what about class?"
Lance snarled. "We're the Brotherhood of evil mutants, remember? Since when did you care about keeping schedule? Besides," he started making his way down the bleachers, "This is more important."
The remaining boys exchanged glances. Pietro shrugged and followed Lance, Freddy doing the same.
Only Todd Tolanski held back.
His face held the usual blank expression that he wore when processing difficult information. He tilted his head considering, pale bug eyes narrowed to slits. He was thinking.
Finally, he gave up, and began to hop uneasily after the others.
Rogue stood in the doorway to her bedroom.
Nothing had changed since when she had left it earlier that morning. Clothes lay where she had hurriedly dropped them, littering the bed and floor in untidy heaps. The door to the balcony was flapping in the breeze and a puddle of rainwater had formed from the opening. Kitty was not going to be happy when she got home from school, that was for sure. That girl was a crazed neat freak.
Standing uneasily for a moment, she slowly crossed the room to press the door shut. It slid closed with a muffled thud, locking tight against the low howl of the wind outside. Rogue sighed and rested her head against the glass, allowing the silence to weigh down around her. She was suddenly very alone.
Lifting her grey eyes, she was suddenly confronted with her reflection in the mirror. She swallowed, moving hesitantly closer. She gingerly lifted a hand to her cheek, watching the mirror girl do the same. But how could that be her reflection? It couldn't possibly be what she looked like. How could one person change so much over a matter of hours?
Pale and haggard through lack of sleep, she looked more phantom than human. Her gothic makeup stood out starkly against her skin, like pooling black shadows, and her hair hung in lifeless tendrils around her face. She looked how she felt - dead.
She shuddered.
Moving away from the mirror, she hugged her jacket closer around her body. The wool was thick and warm, and felt good after the cold train station platform. The girl buried her chin in the collar and inhaled deeply. It smelt nice - like the sky at night. And there was something else too. The faintest whisper of a scent trapped in the wooly fibers ---
Brimstone. She was still wearing the coat that Kurt had given her.
She frowned, not understanding. She had a dim memory of putting it on last night --- before they went to see the monster trucks --- but it seemed like a lifetime ago. She couldn't believe that she was still wearing it.
Snarling darkly, she made as if to pull it off. It was a part of him - a part of Kurt. She didn't want to have it anywhere near her ----
But something made her hesitate. Her expression softened --- anger slowly abating. She looked down at the coat with sad eyes. He had given it to her the night that they had gone to the movies --- because she was cold ----
----"It looks better on you anyway." ----
She had loved him for that.
Nobody had ever given a damn about Rogue, except Irene. She had always been to outsider --- the outcast --- even with the X Men that legacy had haunted her. But Kurt? He hadn't cared about that. He had tried so hard to be her friend, even when she hadn't wanted him too. But he had kept at her, won her over, and, eventually, become the best friend that she had ever had.
And she missed him so much.
"Oh, Kurt."
Tears that she had thought long dried suddenly sprung anew. Her vision blurred together, shoulders heaving with sobs that she could no longer suppress. A low wail escaped from her throat.
Sinking to her knees, Rogue began to cry.
Jean was sitting on the stone steps to the Institute doorway. A cool autumn breeze ran through her hair, making in fall in scarlet waves over her shoulders. She shivered. It was almost nine O'clock in the morning and she should have gone to school ages ago. But she couldn't leave. Not until she had seen Scott.
The distant purr of an engine increased as the slick red sports car pulled into the Institute driveway. She looked up suddenly, allowing a small sigh of relief to escape her parted lips. The car slowed to a half at the foot of the stairs, Jean rushing to greet the driver as he stepped out onto the road.
"Scott," she breathed, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist "I'm so glad you're back."
The young leader blinked in surprise, eyes hidden behind crimson glasses. Her body felt warm pressed against him like that --- despite the situation, it was a nice feeling.
"I'm fine," he told her earnestly. Tentatively, he placed his hand on her hair. "You shouldn't have worried."
After a moment, she broke away. Staring up at him, her eyebrows pulled together in a look of searching.
"Did you find him?"
Scott sighed and shook his head wearily. "No, and I looked everywhere. It's like he just vanished."
She rested her fingers lightly on his arm. "He'll be alright, Scott."
He frowned, worried. "I hope so."
The two seniors regarded each other silently for a moment, a look of understanding passing between them. Scott and Jean had their differences, but they stood by each other when it mattered. Even if nothing else ever happened between them, they were friends. That would never change.
A sudden sound shattered the moment. They both turned in surprise as Rogue slammed the car door shut.
Jean was the first to recover. Taking a step away from Scott, she wrapped her arms around herself in a light hug. "Rogue," she frowned, not understanding "What were you doing in there? I thought that you were still in your room."
The gothic painted girl sniffed, shrugging one shoulder. "I just needed some air, is all."
Jean paused doubtfully and glanced to the boy standing nearby. He shook his head - obviously, it wasn't a good time to question her about where she had gone. One swift look at Rogue explained why. Tear streaked makeup and a heavy shoulder bag ----
---- she had tried to run away.
Jean's first instinct was to place a comforting hand on her shoulder and try to get her to talk about it. If it had been Kitty, that is exactly what she would have done. But this wasn't Kitty. This was Rogue. Their relationship might have improved somewhat since the little incident with her power surge, but Jean didn't try to kid herself that Rogue would ever feel any friendship towards her. That was just the way that things were.
Pressing her glossy lips together, she nodded. "Alright then. The Professor is in his study if you need anything."
"Okay."
Jean stood awkwardly for a moment, waiting. After a few seconds, it became obvious that Rogue had nothing further to say to her.
Digging her hands into her jean pockets, she looked up at Scott. "We'd better get to class, Scott. It's Anderson for Math and we've already missed most of the lesson."
The X Men leader frowned. "No. I'm heading out again --- see if I can find Kurt. You'll just have to tell Anderson that I'm sick or something"
"Professor X won't allow it. He says that we have to try and keep everything as normal as possible."
He shook his head and took a step towards the car. "Sorry Jean, but Kurt's my responsibility. I have to go and look for him."
"And what about your responsibility to the rest of the kids?" She asked him softly. "If you start freaking out, then they will too. This is a bad situation and an Institute full of worried kids is the last thing we need. You know how they'll react ---- it'll be chaos."
He paused doubtfully, lowering his head. Thick curtains of hazel hair fell across his brow. He wanted to be out looking for Kurt. He was like a brother to Scott, if anything happened to him ----
He felt someone come to stand next to him. It was Jean. She touched him lightly on the cheek, brushing against his skin with her fingers. He half wondered if she was reading his mind.
"Professor Xavier has called his parents," she murmured quietly, "They'll be here on the first available flight. But until they arrive, there's nothing more that we can do. He's been gone too long - you'd never find him. All that we can do now is wait. You've got to stay strong, Scott, the team's counting on you."
Scott sighed. He was so tired --- his head hurt when he tried to think. It felt like he was being torn in two.
He looked up, and his eyes met with Rogue's. To him she appeared in shades of scarlet, and it half occurred to him to wonder what she looked like in real life. A part of him knew that she would be pretty.
"Jean's right, Scott."
"But-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know." She frowned and rubbed her forehead. "But there ain't anything that you can do to help him now."
He watched her closely for a moment. Her hair was still damp and tussled from the earlier rain - if Kurt were here, he probably would have made some joke about it. Something along the lines of, 'Tina Turner needs her wig back'. And Scott, in his role as the responsible young X Man, would have reprimanded him. But now? It was strange, but he would have given anything to hear one of Kurt's stupid little quips.
But he wasn't here, and Scott was powerless to do anything about it. Rogue was right about that. There was nothing that he could do.
He nodded slowly, shoulders sagging. "Alright. I'll leave it."
A warm hand slid into his own. Jean steered him towards the car, smiling gently. He tried to return the smile, but couldn't. It didn't matter -she understood.
A sudden thought hit him and he turned to look at Rogue. She was still standing where she had been before, silent and motionless, pale against the grey sky.
Scott frowned. "Hey, do you need anything? I could walk you inside if you want --- make you a hot drink. Have you eaten today?"
Rogue stared at him sadly. She was confused --- mixed up --- but a part of her was touched by his concern. He looked every bit as lost as she felt, and yet she was still his first priority. She would have laughed, were the situation different. Always thinking of others. She guessed that was why he was the leader - it suited him.
"I'm fine," she assured him wearily, "There's some stuff that I need to do. Its kind of private, you know?"
Scott nodded. "I understand."
"Scott?"
"Yeah Rogue?"
She paused awkwardly. "Thanks. You know --- for what you did back there."
He made a slight shrug. "I'm glad that you came back."
"So am I."
She watched as he got into the car with Jean, pulled out of the drive way on the road the Bayville High School. Rogue watched them until they disappeared out of the Institute gates. She waited for a moment, turned and began walking slowly up the stone steps --- to the study where Xavier would be waiting for her ----
Tick --- tick ---- tick --- tick ---
Todd Tolanski watched the clock with hungry eyes. His skinny fingers drummed an illegible beat on the table top, head nodding along to a tune only he could hear. Just his luck to have English first lesson. Todd's brain had enough problems thinking logically at this time in the morning without forcing him to plough through Shakespeare.
He glanced sideways at Freddy, who was sitting at the desk immediately next to him. Between themselves they had managed to claim a remote corner of the classroom. It hadn't been difficult. People didn't exactly queue to be around them.
"Hey, Fed," he hissed.
The large mutant frowned, but didn't look over.
"Fred!"
He growled in frustration and shot the Toad a look of annoyance. "Leave me alone, will ya? They're just getting to the best part!"
Todd blinked incredulously. "Best part of what? Hamlet?"
Freddy scowled and blushed deep scarlet. "It's a good play," he muttered, by means of defense.
Anyone else would have laughed. Big stupid Fred Dukes having a taste for Shakespeare? It was surreal to say the least. But Todd didn't laugh. Out of all of the Brotherhood members, Fred was probably the one who he felt closest to. He was the first real friend that Todd ever made, and it probably worked visa versa.
The pale boy scratched his head thoughtfully. "You mean you understand that junk?"
Fred smiled slightly and nodded. "My pop had the Lawrence Olivier version on tape. He'd play it every Friday when I got home from school."
Todd nodded. "Sounds cool."
"It was."
Freddy didn't talk about his past much and that was fine by Todd, but small details like watching Hamlet tapes with his dad --- they meant a lot to Fred. The Toad could appreciate how personal they were, and, in his own small way, he was honored that he had shared them with him.
He shook his head. "Anyway, I've got to tell you something."
"What's that?"
There was an exasperated groan from the seat in front of him, and a pretty blonde haired girl twirled around to look at him. For a moment, he was hopeful that she was going to talk to him, but the frown of annoyance on her face quickly shot that small dream down.
"Todd Tolanski, will you, like, shut up? I'm trying to work here."
He rolled his pale eyes and snorted. He'd been insulted since the day he was born, what harm could one more do him?
The girl - Sam? Yeah, that was her name - turned back in her seat, flicking her ponytail over her shoulder. "It's bad enough that we have to smell you without having to listen to you as well."
He slumped down slower in his chair till his chin was on level with the desk. If he had had any ego left, it would have crumpled. Instead he simply muttered darkly and picked up his pencil.
Beside him, he saw Fred's considerable bulk shift. A familiar snarl crossed his face and he made as if to stand. Todd quickly shook his head and gestured for him to sit down. The last thing that Bayville needed was an angry Fred Dukes on their hands.
Freddy watched him uneasily before nodding. He slowly sunk back in his seat, shooting hard glares to the blonde haired Sam. Despite himself, Todd was pleased. That was the one thing that you could depend on the Brotherhood for - they always looked out for their own. He'd get back at Sam later - probably slime her lunch or something - but it was nice that Fred was ready to stick up for him.
He was getting kind of fond of that big guy.
"Pietro says that he's got some big news for us at break," he whispered, "Called an official Brotherhood meeting an' everything."
"Why?"
Todd shrugged. "What do I look like? Jean Grey?? How the heck would I know?"
Freddy thought for a moment before sighing. Maybe it was the Jean Grey reference, but he looked troubled.
"Yeah, okay. We meeting in the cafeteria?"
"Nope. Bleachers. I think Pietro's got his eye on one of the cheerleaders."
There was a weary rumble of resignation and then a silence. Fred's attention was back to Shakespeare, steadily tracing the lines with a gigantic finger as he read them. Todd watched him for a moment before turning to his own book, screwing his eyes suspiciously at the text and frowning.
--- Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer/ The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune/ Or to take arms against a sea of troubles/ And by opposing end them. ---
Actually, he thought, Fred might have a point. That Shakespeare guy really knew his stuff. He just wished that he understood what it meant.
He looked hopefully back up at the clock again. To his disappointment, only five minutes had passed.
Resting his head against his hand, Todd began to read.
The rain may have finished an hour since, but the clouds remained. Bruised and heavy, they smothered any patch of blue sky that might have existed, enveloping Bayville in endless grey. The browning leaves rattled dryly as a cold breeze tore through them. Strange, Charles thought, how only a month ago they had been in the middle of a heat wave.
How long ago it seemed.
The telepath sighed and lowered his head thoughtfully, staring at nothing and seeing everything. The Xavier Academy had been his dream for a lifetime. He had sacrificed much to ensure its survival, but it had been worth it. The X Men --- they were more than he could have ever hoped for, and more than that --- the children themselves. Charles Xavier had never had a family of his own, but he had come to care for his students in a way that went beyond his role as a teacher. He truly loved them, as only a father could.
And now?
Charles closed his eyes. Everything had changed now. Because of his mistake, Kurt had run away, and Rogue had tried to do the same. He had lost their trust in a way that could be irreparable, and that thought hurt him more deeply than anything he had ever experienced in his life.
For the first time since setting up the Xavier Institute, Charles was beginning to question his worth as the Leader of the X Men. Because of his judgment, his decision not to tell Rogue and Kurt about their family connection, he had driven them away from the one place that he had hoped that they could feel safe. He was only human, but could he ever forgive himself for such a lack of foresight? More to the point, would Kurt and Rogue ever forgive him?
He didn't know, but he feared for the worst.
"Professor?"
The word was spoken low, a hoarse murmur with a lilting southern accent. He wasn't surprised. He had sensed her presence before she had even spoken. Remaining with his back towards her, he nodded slowly.
"Yes, Rogue. Please come in."
He heard the sound of heavy boots shuffling awkwardly across the plush carpet, coming to halt halfway across the room. She stood, silent and waiting, expectant. He could sense her anger.
"I suppose that you want to know why I didn't tell you about Mystique."
Rogue stared at him darkly. "I guess."
His brown eyes slid open slowly, looking out at the tall french windows with uncustomary sadness. A low gust of wind ran over the grass, making dancers out of the fallen leaves. Despite the warmth of the office Charles felt suddenly cold.
He sighed, again. "I thought that I was doing the right thing."
"To lie? To keep the truth from me?"
He swallowed and shook his head. "I didn't mean for you to find out in that way."
A black snarl temporarily disfigured her face. "If it had been up to you, I wouldn't have found out at all," she spat venomously.
"That's not true-" he began to protest, but then stopped. A slow look of thought came over him, eyebrows pulling together as he searched deep within himself. Had he ever meant to tell her? Really? He had thought that time would be sometime in the distant future, far removed from any question of here and now. When Rogue and Kurt were READY to receive such information -- - that was when he told himself that he would tell them. But would they ever have been ready? Or would Xavier have kept it from them their whole lives, until the secret died with him? He didn't know, but it did raise unsettling questions. He wasn't certain that he wanted the answer to them.
His head sagged wearily. "I'm so sorry."
Behind him, beyond of his field of sight, the young girl trembled with rage. He could sense her anger - she practically glowed with it.
"Sorry?" she whispered hoarsely "You think that sorry's gonna make everything alright again?"
He wheeled himself away from the window so that he faced her, and for the first time was confronted with Rogue herself. She looked terrible. Still dressed in the clothes that she was wearing last night, her earlier walk through the rain had disheveled her striped hair, making it stick tentacle- like to her pale face. Her dark make-up was smudged and streaked, eyes wild and staring. He remembered how fierce Kurt had looked last night. Something had changed in both of them, and Charles wasn't sure how to make it right again.
"You have to believe that I did what I did because I wanted to protect you."
"From what?" she cried, unconsciously curling one gloved hand into a fist, "The truth?!"
"From Mystique. She manipulates people, Rogue --- she lies. What if it was a trap, like the last time that she offered to tell Kurt the truth about his past? You know that he would stop at nothing to find out what his origins are --- he would unwittingly teleport right into another Brotherhood ambush, and he would have taken you with him."
She shook her head, darkly painted lips pulled downward. "You don't know that."
He looked up at her. "Don't I? You've seen inside Kurt's mind, as have I. You know how his quest for his past consumes him. To give him a revaluation like this --- that you might be his sister --- it would have done far more harm than good."
"But what about me?!" she shrieked, tears beginning to swell in her eyes "Why didn't you tell me?!"
Charles felt the shift in her emotion. Rage was quickly subdued into grief, but for Professor X, that only made the situation worse. Clouded with guilt and regret, he tried to push away his own feelings for Rogue's sake. He succeeded, but found a hard lump forming in his throat nonetheless.
"You had been lied to you're whole life, how could I put you in a situation that allowed others to hurt you again?" In contrast to her anguished cries, Charles purposefully kept his voice low and even. He knew that is he lost his focus now, he would have lost her, forever.
"So you thought that you'd lie to me instead." She sniffed despondently, glaring at him with undisguised anger. "Do you know the reason why I left the Brotherhood? Because Mystique kept the truth from me." She shook her head. "I was a fool to think that you would be any different."
He looked up at her desperately. "It's true that I concealed the truth from you, yes. But you know that I'm not the same as Mystique. What she did she did out of malice and her will to control you. I did it because I cared. You and Nightcrawler are very dear to me, as are all of the X Men. I-I didn't want to see you hurt --- I wanted to protect you ---"
He trailed into silence, not able to finish what he had said. Closing his eyes, he turned his head away from her, a shadow falling over his expression.
"I'm sorry Rogue."
There was a muted moment.
"You really hurt me."
He looked up quickly, brow contorted in a look of sorrow. "That was not my intention."
The gothic painted girl shrugged, eyes trained on the floor. She was still now, motionless. He could feel her grief, that had not subsided, but there was something else as well. Acceptance. He wondered if this was a part of Scott Summer's influence.
"I understand why you didn't tell me." She looked up at him, eyes still streaming. "But don't you ever do it again, or I swear I am out of that door and I am never coming back."
He shook his head sincerely, a small beacon of hope alighted. "Rogue?"
She paused hesitantly. "I-I'm not saying that everything's just gonna go back to the way it was. Too much has happened for that. But --- I'm willing to give it another try --- if you are that is."
He took a deep breath, sad smile spreading slowly. "If that's what you want."
She nodded. "It is."
There wasn't anything left to say. Rogue had done what she had come for, and now all she wanted to do was to be alone. She looked at the telepath, their eyes meeting for the first time since she had come into the room. Grey met brown, and for a brief instant there was a kind of understanding between them. She had been wrong. They were a family. And family always forgave each other.
Just like Kurt had always forgiven her -----
Wordlessly, she turned and walked from the room.
Charles stared after her for a moment, gaze fixed on the space where she had last been standing. Despite himself, he smiled thoughtfully. Kurt may have been beyond his help now, but Rogue ----
Rogue was going to be okay.
He didn't fool himself into thinking that it would be an overnight change. It wouldn't. It might take weeks, months, years maybe, before she could bring herself to trust him again. But given time ----
He wheeled himself back to the window. Despite the sallow grey of the sky, he imagined that he saw a patch of sunshine. It was far away, hazy and uncertain on the horizon, but it was definitely there. A light for him to take comfort in.
Staring out at the Institute gardens, he watched the leaves blow across the lawn. It would take a long time, but she would recover. And he would be there for her when she needed him.
It was what any father would have done.
"GO BAYVILLE!"
With one final cry, the cheerleaders finished in triumphant star jumps. They held the pose for five seconds, each trying desperately to out-smile the girl next to her. A whistle blew and they sagged back to normal, throwing down their pompoms and trotting towards the locker-room.
Todd Tolanski ogled the swiftly retreating girls from where he was sitting on the bleachers. The Sam chick from English class was amongst them, blonde ponytail swinging as she laughed with a friend.
He elbowed Freddy in the gut. "Hey, Blob. What do you think they do in there?"
The large boy frowned and looked around. "Where?"
"CIA headquarters." He quipped sarcastically, rolling his pale eyes. "The girl's locker room, you idiot."
Fred thought for a moment before shrugging. "I dunno. Shower, I guess."
"Oh man, what I wouldn't give for invisibility power right now!"
Lance, sitting on the bench just above them, chewed idly on a finger nail. "Lets face it Toad, that's the only way that you're ever going to see naked women --- short of paying for it that is."
Todd was about to shoot an angry comment back at him when Pietro joined the group. He had just been talking to one of the cheerleaders and wore the look of a conquering hero. Grinning smugly, he showed them the scrap of paper that he held in his hand.
"Look on, losers; because this is the closest you're ever going to get to a chick's phone number."
Lance shifted over to give the silver haired mutant room to sit. He rested his chin in his hand, raising a thick eyebrow. "Please tell me that you got her name this time?"
Pietro scowled. "What do you take me for? Some kind of man whore?! Its -- - erm---" he thought for a moment, "Becky. I'm sure its Becky. Or maybe Christie ---- anyway, who cares? Trust me, it not their names that count. Not that you guys would know," he sniggered.
Todd hopped around on his seat so that he was facing him. His pale face was pulled into a look of irritation. "So? Come on, what's the deal? I ain't sitting here for my health you know."
Pietro leaned back and coolly considered the gathered Brotherhood members. "Trust me, it's worth waiting for. Where's Wanda?"
"Her exact words were - and I quote - 'if that little sleaze thinks that I'm going to drop everything to be at his beck and call, he's got another thing coming'." Lance smiled and shrugged. "I got the general impression that she wasn't going to come."
Pietro blinked and looked away. His sister was still a sore subject, and he didn't plan on pushing her too far. If she didn't want to turn up, then he would just leave it at that. "Fine," he growled irritably "It's not like she won't find out sooner or later."
There was another pause.
Todd grew increasingly impatient. "Come on, spill it already!"
The boy raised a snowy white eyebrow. "I was trying to build the suspense. Guess that's wasted on losers like you guys. Anyway, the reason that I called you guys together is that I've got news. Big news. And the way I see it, it involves all of us. The big boss ladies been keeping secrets again, only this time, she's brought them home to the Brotherhood House."
Lance frowned. He was the unofficial leader of the Brotherhood, and, in his own way, he felt a kind of responsibility to protect them. He didn't like things going on without him knowing. It undermined his authority.
"What are you talking about? What's Mystique up to?"
Pietro dropped his usual carefree façade, adopting a more serious look. "I heard her talking on the phone last night, to someone called Irene. She was talking about something --- I didn't understand what ---- but then she starts going on about Nightcrawler. You'll never guess what's happened?" He looked around at the other boys. "The little blue creep's only gone and left the X Men!"
There was a unified intake of breath as the other three members of the Brotherhood reeled back in shock. The news was --- unexpected, to say the least. The Toad looked like he was going to have a heart attack.
"That's not even the half of it!" Pietro leaned forward, blue eyes gleaming. "I heard her tell Irene --- he's staying with us! At the Brotherhood boarding house!"
"What?!" Lance stood up quickly, eyebrows pulled together in a dark glare. "Since when?!"
"What, are you deaf? Last night."
Lance snarled. "Mystique can't just make decisions like that! We should be consulted." Angrily pacing the bleachers, he shot Pietro a look. "Why is he there? What happened with him and the X Men?"
His friend shook his head. "I've got super-speed and a magnetic charm for the ladies, but I've got limits, you know. I'm not a telepath. Funny thing is, Scott Summers and Jean Grey turned up late for school this morning --- Anderson's got them both in detention hall. And Rogue didn't show at all." He leaned back against the hard wooden bench, idly flicking a strand of hair from his eyes. "I'm thinking that there's something screwy going on in the X geek mansion."
Lance frowned thoughtfully. Peitro was right, something was definitely wrong here. Kurt Wagner joining the Brotherhood? It just didn't add up.
Freddy looked up at the Brotherhood leader, scratching his head. "What are you gonna do?"
He pressed his mouth into a grim line, jaw clenched together.
"I'm going to track down our beloved leader, that's what I'm going to do. Mystique's got a lot of explaining to do."
Fred frowned. "But what about class?"
Lance snarled. "We're the Brotherhood of evil mutants, remember? Since when did you care about keeping schedule? Besides," he started making his way down the bleachers, "This is more important."
The remaining boys exchanged glances. Pietro shrugged and followed Lance, Freddy doing the same.
Only Todd Tolanski held back.
His face held the usual blank expression that he wore when processing difficult information. He tilted his head considering, pale bug eyes narrowed to slits. He was thinking.
Finally, he gave up, and began to hop uneasily after the others.
Rogue stood in the doorway to her bedroom.
Nothing had changed since when she had left it earlier that morning. Clothes lay where she had hurriedly dropped them, littering the bed and floor in untidy heaps. The door to the balcony was flapping in the breeze and a puddle of rainwater had formed from the opening. Kitty was not going to be happy when she got home from school, that was for sure. That girl was a crazed neat freak.
Standing uneasily for a moment, she slowly crossed the room to press the door shut. It slid closed with a muffled thud, locking tight against the low howl of the wind outside. Rogue sighed and rested her head against the glass, allowing the silence to weigh down around her. She was suddenly very alone.
Lifting her grey eyes, she was suddenly confronted with her reflection in the mirror. She swallowed, moving hesitantly closer. She gingerly lifted a hand to her cheek, watching the mirror girl do the same. But how could that be her reflection? It couldn't possibly be what she looked like. How could one person change so much over a matter of hours?
Pale and haggard through lack of sleep, she looked more phantom than human. Her gothic makeup stood out starkly against her skin, like pooling black shadows, and her hair hung in lifeless tendrils around her face. She looked how she felt - dead.
She shuddered.
Moving away from the mirror, she hugged her jacket closer around her body. The wool was thick and warm, and felt good after the cold train station platform. The girl buried her chin in the collar and inhaled deeply. It smelt nice - like the sky at night. And there was something else too. The faintest whisper of a scent trapped in the wooly fibers ---
Brimstone. She was still wearing the coat that Kurt had given her.
She frowned, not understanding. She had a dim memory of putting it on last night --- before they went to see the monster trucks --- but it seemed like a lifetime ago. She couldn't believe that she was still wearing it.
Snarling darkly, she made as if to pull it off. It was a part of him - a part of Kurt. She didn't want to have it anywhere near her ----
But something made her hesitate. Her expression softened --- anger slowly abating. She looked down at the coat with sad eyes. He had given it to her the night that they had gone to the movies --- because she was cold ----
----"It looks better on you anyway." ----
She had loved him for that.
Nobody had ever given a damn about Rogue, except Irene. She had always been to outsider --- the outcast --- even with the X Men that legacy had haunted her. But Kurt? He hadn't cared about that. He had tried so hard to be her friend, even when she hadn't wanted him too. But he had kept at her, won her over, and, eventually, become the best friend that she had ever had.
And she missed him so much.
"Oh, Kurt."
Tears that she had thought long dried suddenly sprung anew. Her vision blurred together, shoulders heaving with sobs that she could no longer suppress. A low wail escaped from her throat.
Sinking to her knees, Rogue began to cry.