Authors note: I'm sorry that this chapter has taken so long to post. I've
got so much work from school, you wouldn't believe! Plus I've got another
project on the go at the moment, so I guess I allowed myself to get kinda
sidetracked. Sorry about that. I had planned to finish the whole story by
chapter 20, and then have a Rogue and Kurt X-mas sequel ---- but at the
rate it's taking me to get this story done, I'll be lucky if I wrap it up
for next April!
Someone asked about Rogue's accent. I was going to write it but by the time I figured out how to do it convincingly, I was already several chapters into the story. I didn't want for Rogue and Kurt to all of a sudden develop accents --- it would have looked strange. When/if I write a sequel, then I might consider it then.
I'll apologies of this chapter seems a little rushed or generally crap, its late and I've got masses of homework to get done. Because of its hurried nature, they may be some spelling mistakes or errors. Please try to ignore them. Some people also pointed out that I got Fred's name wrong. Sorry about that. I know what Fred's name is, my mind just slipped at the time.
Rogue sensed rather than heard Irene come into her room. She turned from where she had been standing by the window, small smile lighting playing at the corners of her mouth.
"Mornin' Irene," she greeted softly.
The older woman returned the smile and took a step futher into the room. Now that she was closer, Rogue could see that she bore a loaded tray in her arms. "Hey honey, you sleep well?"
Rogue yawned. "Ah, good I guess. What's this?" her darkly painted eyes came to rest on the try. "Room service?"
Irene laughed. "Ha! You wish. I passed Mr McCoy on the way down to breakfast. He made it, not me."
The young mutant nodded and wrapped her arms around herself. "I'll remember to thank him."
"Good girl."
Rogue watched thoughtfully as Irene busied herself with setting the breakfast out. The food looked good. Ever since arriving at the Institute, Hank seemed to have taken it upon himself to provide most of the Institute meals. He was a pretty dab hand at it too. The scent of home made waffles quite literally made her mouth water, and the array of syrups and toppings were tempting to say the least. Rogue, however, didn't particularly feel much like eating.
She shook her head. "Listen Irene, I think I might just skip breakfast today. I'm not really that hungry."
The blind woman looked up in surprise, eyes hidden behind a pair of dark glasses. "Sweetheart, you didn't eat anything all yesterday either." A look of concern crossed quickly over her features. "Are you feeling alright?"
Rogue rolled her eyes. "For the love of Pete -- how often do I have to say this? I'm fine."
Irene raised her eyebrows warningly, mouth set grim. "Don't you take that tone with me young lady."
"Well I'm sick of everyone treating my like I'm an invalid." Rogue threw her hands into the air in frustration, giving a long and world-weary sigh. "Everyone's been tiptoeing around me all week. I hate it. I mean, its not like I was exactly Miss Popularity before, but now---" she scowled and looked away "People won't even look at me."
There was a short silence. Irene watched her adopted daughter carefully for a moment, apparently softening. She lowered her head meditatively and sat down on the edge of the bed, kneading her forehead with slim fingers. "They're just worried about you."
"Well I don't *want* them to worry about me. I don't *want* people to feel sorry for me."
"I know-"
Rogue stared miserably at the ground. "No --- you don't know. How could you know? Its horrible, Irene. I walk down a corridor and all I can hear are people whispering about 'poor Rogue' --- like I was dying or something. I don't want that."
"Yes, and I can understand that. But it's not going to be like this forever."
The girl blinked. "How can you know that."
Irene gave a sad smile. "Because I know you, Rogue. You're strong, and you're going to get through this."
There was a hard laugh. Rogue crossed the room to sit next to her mother on the bed, tugging self-consciously at the sleeves of her sweater. "I don't feel particularly strong," she admitted quietly.
"Oh, you are. More than you know."
Rogue glanced up, lips parting slightly. A strand of white hair had fallen over her forehead. Ever since Irene had come to the Institute a week previously, the two had spent most of their time together in this room. Sometimes they talked --- sometimes they just sat in silence --- either way was fine. When they did talk, the conversation inevitably came around to how Rogue was feeling. Rogue got the feeling that Irene did this intentionally --- and she was probably right. Irene might not have been a mother by birth, but she was damn good when it came to the parenting stuff. If it hadn't been for her, the stripe-haired mutant didn't know how she would have gotten through it.
But even with Irene, it was still pretty hard to talk about her deeper thoughts --- mostly because she still wasn't fully aware of them herself. Mystique was her birth mother --- Kurt was her long-lost brother --- Kurt was in love with her --- the Institute Instructors had concealed the truth from her ------ it was all a lot to take in. She had made her peace with Charles and over the past few days had finally come to terms with why he did what he did. As for the whole Mystique issue --- well, Rogue didn't like to think too much about that.
And Kurt?
Now there was a question.
At first, she had hated him. Loathed him. Blamed him for all that had happened. Then, gradually, over the oncoming days, she had experienced a subtle shift of feeling. Her anger had slowly given way to heartfelt grief. No matter what else had happened between them, the truth was that Kurt Wagner was the best friend that she had ever had.
And so, with time, the rawness of her pain had begun to subside. Now she didn't know hoe she felt. Guilt certainly. It had been her fault that Kurt had run away in the first place. She had lashed out at him when he had kissed her --- driving him away from the safety of the Institute. She was worried too - Kurt hadn't been in contact with any of the X-Men since he left, and the only thing the Professor would tell her was that he was 'okay' --- whatever that meant.
And there was something else too. A kind of hollow gnawing in her chest --- an unrelenting ache that refused to subside.
Despite all that was said and done, she missed him.
"Irene?"
The older woman smiled, running her hand over her daughter's short hair. "Yes, honey?"
"I don't want to hide anymore."
Irene gave single, slow nod. "I know."
Rogue hesitated, taking a deep breath. "I want to go to back to school."
There was a slight pause. Rogue looked up to the blind woman, searching the eyes behind the glasses for any clue as to what she was thinking. Irene seemed to muse over the words for a moment longer.
"If that's what you want. I'll inform the Professor of your decision."
Rogue sighed and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her neck in a tight hug. She had more than half expected her to react negatively.
No matter what else happened, it was good to know that she had Irene on her side.
Evan Daniels sat on the bleachers, watching the senior basket ball team practicing for the game on Friday night. Ordinarily, he would have been enthralled. Not so today. His dark eyes might have been looking down at the court, but his thoughts were a thousand miles away ---
So far away in fact, that he almost didn't notice when Kitty sat down next to him.
The dark haired freshman stared down at her hands in silence, neither greeting the other. They didn't need to. They both knew why they were there.
"You skipped class today," Kitty said quietly, after a moments hesitance.
Evan shrugged. "I didn't feel like it."
There was another slight pause. One of the seniors threw the ball to the hoop and missed. The only sound was the squeaking of shoes on the polished floor and the grunts and shouts of the players.
"Storm's getting worried about you."
"I know." The mahogany skinned mutant gave a heavy sigh and looked away, not elaborating further.
Kitty watched him meditatively, glossy lips pressed together. She knew better than to try and push him. He'd been like this all week, ever since ---
She placed a hand lightly on his shoulder, shifting to sit closer to him on the bench. "You have to stop doing this to yourself, Evan. It won't help Kurt."
Evan flinched visibly at the sound of his friend's name. "What do you want me to do, just act like everything's alright?" He gave a hard snort. "I figure the rest of you guys are doing enough of that already."
"That's not true."
"Isn't it?" He turned to look at her suddenly, eyebrows drawn together accusingly. "You guys don't even talk about him anymore."
Kitty felt her anger rise. "Hey, don't take it out on me just because you're in a pissy mood. I was only trying to help."
"I don't need any help. Not from you, not from anybody. So just back off, alright?"
The girl stared at him for a moment longer, jaw clenched. Finally, she shook her head, pony tail swinging, and stood. "Whatever. Just, like, forget I said anything."
Evan watched her go in silence, then turned back to the game. Someone scored a hoop, but somehow, he couldn't muster the energy to be interested.
This was normally something that he and Kurt did together. Maybe that was part of the reason why he'd acted like such a jerk to Kitty --- maybe not. He'd been acting that way all week now, and people were starting to notice. He knew what he was doing, but he couldn't stop himself.
The truth was, it was the only thing that made him feel better.
Scuffing his shoes on the floor, he stared darkly into space.
Kitty sat in the shade of a tree, sniffing despondently to herself. The school grounds were almost devoid of human life, allowing her to sit and think about her situation without running the risk of being interrupted. Clouds, muted grey and heavy, loomed large against the horizon, and the sun shone watery pale in the autumn sky. She shivered unconsciously and wrapped her cardigan closer around her, wiping fiercely at her streaming eyes.
Crying was something that Kitty had been doing a lot of this week. Never in front of anyone else though. Only when she was alone. She couldn't bare it if anyone saw her cry.
"---Kitty?"
The voice came from above her, low and questioning. She looked up swiftly in surprise.
Lance Avers stood slightly to one side, hands dug deep in his pockets. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, obviously not certain what to do. "Are --- uh, are you okay?"
Kitty watched him for a moment, then turned away. "Go away, Lance. I'm so totally not in the mood right now." She sniffed, blinking in a vain attempt to stop crying.
Lance hesitated. "Its Kurt --- isn't it?"
More sniffing. "So? What if it is?"
"Do you want me to go?"
Kitty swallowed and glanced to the Brotherhood Mutant. Slowly, she shook her head.
The boy sat down gently beside her, drawing his knees up to his chest. He floundered helplessly in silence for a moment. He had never been good with words.
"It'll be alright, you know." He offered finally.
The blue-eyes freshman gave a short laugh, looking up to the sky. "Yeah. Sure."
"No really," shyly putting his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer to him. They were so close now that their bodies were pressed against each other. It was a cold day, and Kitty was glad for the warmth. He smiled down at her. "I just know he's fine."
The girl sighed and leaned her head against his chest. "It's so horrible up at the Institute. Everyone's too afraid to talk --- nobody knows what's going on. Rogue barely comes out of her room and the Wagner's haven't spoken to anyone except the Instructors." She closed her eyes, mouth down turned sadly. "I just don't know what to do anymore."
Lance looked down, alarm quickly spreading over his features. "Don't cry Kitty --- come on, please don't cry --- please?" He looked around him helplessly as the young girl began to sob into his shirt. He hugged her closely, drawing her into his coat. "It'll be alright, you'll see."
"But it won't, don't you understand?" Her shoulders buckled with sobs that she could no longer suppress, cheeks blotchy and read. "E-Everything's so wrong. I just wish --- I wish I knew that he was safe ---." The rest of her words were lost in a fresh barrage of tears.
Lance kissed the top of her head softly, eyes fixed into the vanishing distance. His heart was breaking to see her hurting so much. They may have broken up, but a part of Lance Avers would always be in love with her. He felt so powerless --- to have her so close and not being able to do anything to ease her pain ---
--- but that wasn't the case. There was something that he could do to make her feel better ----
"Kitty," he murmured softly, "There's something that I have to tell you. I know where Kurt is ---"
Rogue took a halfhearted swig from her soda can, grey eyes roving darkly around the cafeteria. It was halfway through her first day back at school, and she was just about ready to turn heel and bolt for the door. She had forgotten what it was like. So many people --- so much noise --- it all seemed so surreal now. She watched the other kids walking past, chattering mindlessly about their problems.
Problems? What the Hell did they know about problems?
She was beginning to feel self-conscious - standing in the doorway by herself, waiting for Risty Wilde to show up. The truth was, she didn't even know what she was going to say to her friend, even if she did show. She hadn't phoned --- hadn't left a message --- she'd just not turned up to school for the past week. Risty would probably be pissed off with her, so she'd have to think of a good reason why she didn't call.
She was still racking her brains for a convinsing cover story when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Turning around quickly, she was surprised to see Risty standing behind her. The purple haired girl had her arms folded across her chest, amber eyes narrowed.
Yup, definitely pissed off.
"So, you decided to show up then?"
Rogue sighed and shook her head. "Risty, I'm so sorry-"
"Sorry for what? Ditching me for over a week? Hey, no worries ---- I'm only your best friend after all!" her clipped English accent had gained a harsher tone than usual. It did not go unnoticed.
The gothic painted beauty looked to her friend in ill-disguised desperation. She'd already lost one of her friends; she could afford to lose another---
"Listen, I'm sorry, but there were things going on that I couldn't deal with. I---I had to take some time out --- to get my head around it all --- I---" she trailed lamely into silence and then looked away, wishing that she could find the words to explain.
Risty's look of anger disappeared, her bad mood forgotten and quickly replaced by concern. She took a step forward, placing her hand on the other girls shoulder. "Rogue? Sweetheart? Are you okay? I-I didn't know."
Rogue tried her best to force a smile --- unsuccessfully. She gave up, shrugging weakly. "It's no big deal."
The English girl arched her eyebrows skeptically. "Yeah, right. Come on, tell me what's wrong."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
Rogue forced herself not to speak the words forming in her throat. Risty might have been her friend, but there were some things that she could never know. "I can't. Please, don't ask me."
"I'm your best friend. If something's wrong, I need to know. I can help you."
She pale skinned girl closed her eyes. She was tired --- too tired to fight anymore. With the exception of Irene, she had talked to no one about what had happened. The isolation was eating her up inside. The temptation to talk to someone --- anyone --- was too great for her to resist. She couldn't stand being alone any longer.
She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself in a comforting hug. "I found something out the other day. Its about my family."
Risty's yellow eyes widened slightly, but she remained silent.
"You remember that Kurt Wagner kid---?"
Her story didn't take long to tell. It wasn't the full tale of course - she had consciously edited all parts about the X-Men and the Brotherhood --- - and about Mystique. But the rest was the truth. Kurt was her brother --- he had told her that he was in love with her, and then he had run away. Even without the mutant references, it was shocking enough.
Risty sat in stunned silence, staring at her friend in a mixture of sympathy and shock. Slowly, she shook her head, letting go of a deep breath. "I---I had no idea," she breathed, hand held to her chest. "I can't believe it."
"Neither could I," Rogue told her, not wholly truthfully. Oh, she had believed it alright. Somehow, when Mystique had told her the truth, all the pieces of the puzzle had seemed to fit together. Not that she would have ever been able to explain that to anyone --- not even Risty.
"But I don't understand----" the girl flicked distractedly at a strand of purple hair that hung over her forehead. "Why hasn't anyone been told that he's run away? Shouldn't the police be out there looking for him?"
"I recon that the Prof knows where he is --- and I guess he must have told the Wagners and the rest of the Instructors. Just not us kids."
Risty looked across the table, eyebrows arched critically. They were sitting on an isolated table in the cafeteria, as far removed from the rest of the crowded teenagers as was possible. "Sounds like your Professors keeping secrets if you ask me," she told her seriously.
"Maybe. But its probably for the best."
"How can you say that? How can you even trust that man after all he put you through? HE's the one that kept the truth from you in the first place, and your willing to just forgive and forget?!"
"I didn't say that now, did I?"
Risty leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. "As good as. Come on luv, you know he's no good for you. Why don't you just ditch the whole Institute thing while you still can?"
Rogue frowned thoughtfully, then shook her head once more. "Where would I go?"
"How about back to live with your step-mother? She sounds like a nice lady."
"She is," Rogue said honestly, "I don't know what I would have done without her. But I think this is something that I've got to see through till the end. I can't just run away."
Risty tapped her darkly painted fingernails against her elbow. She seemed to muse of an idea for a moment, processing the thought over in her head. "And what about Kurt?"
"What about him?"
"Do you still care about him?" The question was spoken softly, quietly, but to Rogue it sliced through her bones like a sharpened blade. The big question.
She looked away for a moment, grey eyes focused somewhere past the window. Her features seemed to soften as she answered. "Yeah --- I do. I care about him a lot."
Risty smiled tenderly and leaned across the table, placing her hand over Rogue's. "Then why don't you go and talk to him?" she asked gently.
Rogue sighed. "How can I? I don't even know where he is."
"But what if you did? Would you see him?"
There was a hesitant pause. "I think so."
Risty smiled; strangely satisfied with the answer she received. She squeezed her friend's fingers between her own in encouragement. "Then do it. Find him and talk things through. Forget the Institute --- what have they ever done but lie and keep the truth from you. Wherever he is, I'm sure he wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. You could live together ---- be a real family."
Rogue gave a nervous laugh. "Don't you think you're being a little hasty?"
"Why? You know it's the truth."
The X-Man blinked thoughtfully. Risty's idea did sound good --- if she knew where Kurt was, she would have been tempted to simply leave the Institute and follow her brother. 'A real family' ---- Rogue had never fully understood what that was. To her, it had always simply meant a foster home that didn't turn her away after a couple of months. The thought that it could mean more was a strange and alien feeling --- but appealing nevertheless.
Only one problem. She had no idea where on Earth Kurt was.
She leaned forward and rested her chin in her hand. "Maybe your right. I don't know."
Risty looked to her sadly. "Just think about it, alright luv? I only want you to be happy."
"I guess. Risty?"
"Hm?"
Rogue shifted uncomfortably. "Thanks --- you know, for not freaking out."
The English girl tilted her head inquisitively, eyes hooded. A ghost of a smirk played on her dark mouth.
"Hey, what are friends for?"
Evan Daniels strode down the crowded corridors of Bayville High, scowling. He found his locker and entered the combination, giving it a rueful kick when it refused to open the first time. The force of the impact made the metal door swing open, his books and papers spilling onto the floor. He stared down at the mess in unchecked irritation.
"Aww man!"
Stooping to pick it up, he heard the sound of hurried footsteps behind him. He didn't look up, however, until he heard Kitty's voice rise above the combined noise of the rest of the student body.
"Evan! Evan! Hey, will you, like, let me past? Evan, over here!"
Storm's young nephew frowned and rose to his feet, turning to watch as his fellow mutant elbowed her way through the swarming sea of bodies. She looked at him, swollen red eyes gleaming, mouth pulled together in a grim line.
"Kitty? What's up?"
Their earlier brief argument apparently forgotten, the dark haired girl grabbed his arms and pulled him closer to the lockers, standing close. She looked up at him, and for the first time he noticed that her smooth skin was blotched and tear stained.
He watched her in concern. "Have you been crying?"
"No. Yes. Look it doesn't matter." She blinked, chest rising and falling with quickened breathing. She looked like she'd been running. Her normally immaculate hair stuck out at strange angles, heavy strands falling over her forehead. "I spoke to Lance a few minutes ago."
Evan scowled. "Lance?"
"Uh-huh." She paused, eyes searching his. She hadn't taken her hand from his arm, and for a brief moment it was as though they were the only two kids on the corridor. Everything else seemed to fade into mute nothingness, and her next words rang clear in the void. "He told me where Kurt is."
A light which had long been gone in Evan's dark eyes was suddenly re-lit. "What? Where?"
Kitty nodded. "He's staying with Mystique at the Brotherhood house." Noting the sudden fear on the blonde haired boy, she continued hastily, "Don't worry though, he's fine. They're treating him right and everything."
Evan couldn't get his head around it. He took a few seconds to pull his reeling thoughts together. Kurt was with the Brotherhood? What did that mean?
He opened his mouth to say something but was suddenly cut short. There was a clatter of books falling and a choked cry of surprise. He turned around and found himself facing a familiar figure.
His eyes widened. "Rogue? I thought that you were back at the Institute?"
The gothic girl said nothing, only stared in disbelief. Her heart was caught somewhere in her throat and her stomach had dropped to her knees. A giddy sensation of falling engulfed her mind.
Standing next to her, it was Risty who recovered first. She dropped to her knees and began to pick up the books that Rogue had dropped. She glanced up to her friend as she did so. "Luv? You alright?"
Rogue couldn't move. For moment, she wondered whether she had heard correctly. She almost hoped she hadn't. But no, the guilty glances Evan and Kitty exchanged conformed it all. Kurt --- her brother Kurt --- was staying with the Brotherhood.
She was gradually made aware of the pressure of a hand on her shoulder. Dazed, confused, she looked to where Risty stood. The purple haired girl watched her in ill-disguised apprehension. She solemnly handed her the crumpled piece of paper that she held between her fingers.
"Rogue ---- it fell out of your locker. I think its important."
With trembling fingers, Rogue took the paper. It was a note. A note from Kurt.
Grey eyes skimmed the short text, eyebrows pulled together uncertainly.
Dear Rogue.
I'm sorry.
Love always,
Kurt.
She swallowed, shaking her head slowly. "Oh, Kurt --- what have you done?"
Someone asked about Rogue's accent. I was going to write it but by the time I figured out how to do it convincingly, I was already several chapters into the story. I didn't want for Rogue and Kurt to all of a sudden develop accents --- it would have looked strange. When/if I write a sequel, then I might consider it then.
I'll apologies of this chapter seems a little rushed or generally crap, its late and I've got masses of homework to get done. Because of its hurried nature, they may be some spelling mistakes or errors. Please try to ignore them. Some people also pointed out that I got Fred's name wrong. Sorry about that. I know what Fred's name is, my mind just slipped at the time.
Rogue sensed rather than heard Irene come into her room. She turned from where she had been standing by the window, small smile lighting playing at the corners of her mouth.
"Mornin' Irene," she greeted softly.
The older woman returned the smile and took a step futher into the room. Now that she was closer, Rogue could see that she bore a loaded tray in her arms. "Hey honey, you sleep well?"
Rogue yawned. "Ah, good I guess. What's this?" her darkly painted eyes came to rest on the try. "Room service?"
Irene laughed. "Ha! You wish. I passed Mr McCoy on the way down to breakfast. He made it, not me."
The young mutant nodded and wrapped her arms around herself. "I'll remember to thank him."
"Good girl."
Rogue watched thoughtfully as Irene busied herself with setting the breakfast out. The food looked good. Ever since arriving at the Institute, Hank seemed to have taken it upon himself to provide most of the Institute meals. He was a pretty dab hand at it too. The scent of home made waffles quite literally made her mouth water, and the array of syrups and toppings were tempting to say the least. Rogue, however, didn't particularly feel much like eating.
She shook her head. "Listen Irene, I think I might just skip breakfast today. I'm not really that hungry."
The blind woman looked up in surprise, eyes hidden behind a pair of dark glasses. "Sweetheart, you didn't eat anything all yesterday either." A look of concern crossed quickly over her features. "Are you feeling alright?"
Rogue rolled her eyes. "For the love of Pete -- how often do I have to say this? I'm fine."
Irene raised her eyebrows warningly, mouth set grim. "Don't you take that tone with me young lady."
"Well I'm sick of everyone treating my like I'm an invalid." Rogue threw her hands into the air in frustration, giving a long and world-weary sigh. "Everyone's been tiptoeing around me all week. I hate it. I mean, its not like I was exactly Miss Popularity before, but now---" she scowled and looked away "People won't even look at me."
There was a short silence. Irene watched her adopted daughter carefully for a moment, apparently softening. She lowered her head meditatively and sat down on the edge of the bed, kneading her forehead with slim fingers. "They're just worried about you."
"Well I don't *want* them to worry about me. I don't *want* people to feel sorry for me."
"I know-"
Rogue stared miserably at the ground. "No --- you don't know. How could you know? Its horrible, Irene. I walk down a corridor and all I can hear are people whispering about 'poor Rogue' --- like I was dying or something. I don't want that."
"Yes, and I can understand that. But it's not going to be like this forever."
The girl blinked. "How can you know that."
Irene gave a sad smile. "Because I know you, Rogue. You're strong, and you're going to get through this."
There was a hard laugh. Rogue crossed the room to sit next to her mother on the bed, tugging self-consciously at the sleeves of her sweater. "I don't feel particularly strong," she admitted quietly.
"Oh, you are. More than you know."
Rogue glanced up, lips parting slightly. A strand of white hair had fallen over her forehead. Ever since Irene had come to the Institute a week previously, the two had spent most of their time together in this room. Sometimes they talked --- sometimes they just sat in silence --- either way was fine. When they did talk, the conversation inevitably came around to how Rogue was feeling. Rogue got the feeling that Irene did this intentionally --- and she was probably right. Irene might not have been a mother by birth, but she was damn good when it came to the parenting stuff. If it hadn't been for her, the stripe-haired mutant didn't know how she would have gotten through it.
But even with Irene, it was still pretty hard to talk about her deeper thoughts --- mostly because she still wasn't fully aware of them herself. Mystique was her birth mother --- Kurt was her long-lost brother --- Kurt was in love with her --- the Institute Instructors had concealed the truth from her ------ it was all a lot to take in. She had made her peace with Charles and over the past few days had finally come to terms with why he did what he did. As for the whole Mystique issue --- well, Rogue didn't like to think too much about that.
And Kurt?
Now there was a question.
At first, she had hated him. Loathed him. Blamed him for all that had happened. Then, gradually, over the oncoming days, she had experienced a subtle shift of feeling. Her anger had slowly given way to heartfelt grief. No matter what else had happened between them, the truth was that Kurt Wagner was the best friend that she had ever had.
And so, with time, the rawness of her pain had begun to subside. Now she didn't know hoe she felt. Guilt certainly. It had been her fault that Kurt had run away in the first place. She had lashed out at him when he had kissed her --- driving him away from the safety of the Institute. She was worried too - Kurt hadn't been in contact with any of the X-Men since he left, and the only thing the Professor would tell her was that he was 'okay' --- whatever that meant.
And there was something else too. A kind of hollow gnawing in her chest --- an unrelenting ache that refused to subside.
Despite all that was said and done, she missed him.
"Irene?"
The older woman smiled, running her hand over her daughter's short hair. "Yes, honey?"
"I don't want to hide anymore."
Irene gave single, slow nod. "I know."
Rogue hesitated, taking a deep breath. "I want to go to back to school."
There was a slight pause. Rogue looked up to the blind woman, searching the eyes behind the glasses for any clue as to what she was thinking. Irene seemed to muse over the words for a moment longer.
"If that's what you want. I'll inform the Professor of your decision."
Rogue sighed and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her neck in a tight hug. She had more than half expected her to react negatively.
No matter what else happened, it was good to know that she had Irene on her side.
Evan Daniels sat on the bleachers, watching the senior basket ball team practicing for the game on Friday night. Ordinarily, he would have been enthralled. Not so today. His dark eyes might have been looking down at the court, but his thoughts were a thousand miles away ---
So far away in fact, that he almost didn't notice when Kitty sat down next to him.
The dark haired freshman stared down at her hands in silence, neither greeting the other. They didn't need to. They both knew why they were there.
"You skipped class today," Kitty said quietly, after a moments hesitance.
Evan shrugged. "I didn't feel like it."
There was another slight pause. One of the seniors threw the ball to the hoop and missed. The only sound was the squeaking of shoes on the polished floor and the grunts and shouts of the players.
"Storm's getting worried about you."
"I know." The mahogany skinned mutant gave a heavy sigh and looked away, not elaborating further.
Kitty watched him meditatively, glossy lips pressed together. She knew better than to try and push him. He'd been like this all week, ever since ---
She placed a hand lightly on his shoulder, shifting to sit closer to him on the bench. "You have to stop doing this to yourself, Evan. It won't help Kurt."
Evan flinched visibly at the sound of his friend's name. "What do you want me to do, just act like everything's alright?" He gave a hard snort. "I figure the rest of you guys are doing enough of that already."
"That's not true."
"Isn't it?" He turned to look at her suddenly, eyebrows drawn together accusingly. "You guys don't even talk about him anymore."
Kitty felt her anger rise. "Hey, don't take it out on me just because you're in a pissy mood. I was only trying to help."
"I don't need any help. Not from you, not from anybody. So just back off, alright?"
The girl stared at him for a moment longer, jaw clenched. Finally, she shook her head, pony tail swinging, and stood. "Whatever. Just, like, forget I said anything."
Evan watched her go in silence, then turned back to the game. Someone scored a hoop, but somehow, he couldn't muster the energy to be interested.
This was normally something that he and Kurt did together. Maybe that was part of the reason why he'd acted like such a jerk to Kitty --- maybe not. He'd been acting that way all week now, and people were starting to notice. He knew what he was doing, but he couldn't stop himself.
The truth was, it was the only thing that made him feel better.
Scuffing his shoes on the floor, he stared darkly into space.
Kitty sat in the shade of a tree, sniffing despondently to herself. The school grounds were almost devoid of human life, allowing her to sit and think about her situation without running the risk of being interrupted. Clouds, muted grey and heavy, loomed large against the horizon, and the sun shone watery pale in the autumn sky. She shivered unconsciously and wrapped her cardigan closer around her, wiping fiercely at her streaming eyes.
Crying was something that Kitty had been doing a lot of this week. Never in front of anyone else though. Only when she was alone. She couldn't bare it if anyone saw her cry.
"---Kitty?"
The voice came from above her, low and questioning. She looked up swiftly in surprise.
Lance Avers stood slightly to one side, hands dug deep in his pockets. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, obviously not certain what to do. "Are --- uh, are you okay?"
Kitty watched him for a moment, then turned away. "Go away, Lance. I'm so totally not in the mood right now." She sniffed, blinking in a vain attempt to stop crying.
Lance hesitated. "Its Kurt --- isn't it?"
More sniffing. "So? What if it is?"
"Do you want me to go?"
Kitty swallowed and glanced to the Brotherhood Mutant. Slowly, she shook her head.
The boy sat down gently beside her, drawing his knees up to his chest. He floundered helplessly in silence for a moment. He had never been good with words.
"It'll be alright, you know." He offered finally.
The blue-eyes freshman gave a short laugh, looking up to the sky. "Yeah. Sure."
"No really," shyly putting his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer to him. They were so close now that their bodies were pressed against each other. It was a cold day, and Kitty was glad for the warmth. He smiled down at her. "I just know he's fine."
The girl sighed and leaned her head against his chest. "It's so horrible up at the Institute. Everyone's too afraid to talk --- nobody knows what's going on. Rogue barely comes out of her room and the Wagner's haven't spoken to anyone except the Instructors." She closed her eyes, mouth down turned sadly. "I just don't know what to do anymore."
Lance looked down, alarm quickly spreading over his features. "Don't cry Kitty --- come on, please don't cry --- please?" He looked around him helplessly as the young girl began to sob into his shirt. He hugged her closely, drawing her into his coat. "It'll be alright, you'll see."
"But it won't, don't you understand?" Her shoulders buckled with sobs that she could no longer suppress, cheeks blotchy and read. "E-Everything's so wrong. I just wish --- I wish I knew that he was safe ---." The rest of her words were lost in a fresh barrage of tears.
Lance kissed the top of her head softly, eyes fixed into the vanishing distance. His heart was breaking to see her hurting so much. They may have broken up, but a part of Lance Avers would always be in love with her. He felt so powerless --- to have her so close and not being able to do anything to ease her pain ---
--- but that wasn't the case. There was something that he could do to make her feel better ----
"Kitty," he murmured softly, "There's something that I have to tell you. I know where Kurt is ---"
Rogue took a halfhearted swig from her soda can, grey eyes roving darkly around the cafeteria. It was halfway through her first day back at school, and she was just about ready to turn heel and bolt for the door. She had forgotten what it was like. So many people --- so much noise --- it all seemed so surreal now. She watched the other kids walking past, chattering mindlessly about their problems.
Problems? What the Hell did they know about problems?
She was beginning to feel self-conscious - standing in the doorway by herself, waiting for Risty Wilde to show up. The truth was, she didn't even know what she was going to say to her friend, even if she did show. She hadn't phoned --- hadn't left a message --- she'd just not turned up to school for the past week. Risty would probably be pissed off with her, so she'd have to think of a good reason why she didn't call.
She was still racking her brains for a convinsing cover story when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Turning around quickly, she was surprised to see Risty standing behind her. The purple haired girl had her arms folded across her chest, amber eyes narrowed.
Yup, definitely pissed off.
"So, you decided to show up then?"
Rogue sighed and shook her head. "Risty, I'm so sorry-"
"Sorry for what? Ditching me for over a week? Hey, no worries ---- I'm only your best friend after all!" her clipped English accent had gained a harsher tone than usual. It did not go unnoticed.
The gothic painted beauty looked to her friend in ill-disguised desperation. She'd already lost one of her friends; she could afford to lose another---
"Listen, I'm sorry, but there were things going on that I couldn't deal with. I---I had to take some time out --- to get my head around it all --- I---" she trailed lamely into silence and then looked away, wishing that she could find the words to explain.
Risty's look of anger disappeared, her bad mood forgotten and quickly replaced by concern. She took a step forward, placing her hand on the other girls shoulder. "Rogue? Sweetheart? Are you okay? I-I didn't know."
Rogue tried her best to force a smile --- unsuccessfully. She gave up, shrugging weakly. "It's no big deal."
The English girl arched her eyebrows skeptically. "Yeah, right. Come on, tell me what's wrong."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
Rogue forced herself not to speak the words forming in her throat. Risty might have been her friend, but there were some things that she could never know. "I can't. Please, don't ask me."
"I'm your best friend. If something's wrong, I need to know. I can help you."
She pale skinned girl closed her eyes. She was tired --- too tired to fight anymore. With the exception of Irene, she had talked to no one about what had happened. The isolation was eating her up inside. The temptation to talk to someone --- anyone --- was too great for her to resist. She couldn't stand being alone any longer.
She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself in a comforting hug. "I found something out the other day. Its about my family."
Risty's yellow eyes widened slightly, but she remained silent.
"You remember that Kurt Wagner kid---?"
Her story didn't take long to tell. It wasn't the full tale of course - she had consciously edited all parts about the X-Men and the Brotherhood --- - and about Mystique. But the rest was the truth. Kurt was her brother --- he had told her that he was in love with her, and then he had run away. Even without the mutant references, it was shocking enough.
Risty sat in stunned silence, staring at her friend in a mixture of sympathy and shock. Slowly, she shook her head, letting go of a deep breath. "I---I had no idea," she breathed, hand held to her chest. "I can't believe it."
"Neither could I," Rogue told her, not wholly truthfully. Oh, she had believed it alright. Somehow, when Mystique had told her the truth, all the pieces of the puzzle had seemed to fit together. Not that she would have ever been able to explain that to anyone --- not even Risty.
"But I don't understand----" the girl flicked distractedly at a strand of purple hair that hung over her forehead. "Why hasn't anyone been told that he's run away? Shouldn't the police be out there looking for him?"
"I recon that the Prof knows where he is --- and I guess he must have told the Wagners and the rest of the Instructors. Just not us kids."
Risty looked across the table, eyebrows arched critically. They were sitting on an isolated table in the cafeteria, as far removed from the rest of the crowded teenagers as was possible. "Sounds like your Professors keeping secrets if you ask me," she told her seriously.
"Maybe. But its probably for the best."
"How can you say that? How can you even trust that man after all he put you through? HE's the one that kept the truth from you in the first place, and your willing to just forgive and forget?!"
"I didn't say that now, did I?"
Risty leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. "As good as. Come on luv, you know he's no good for you. Why don't you just ditch the whole Institute thing while you still can?"
Rogue frowned thoughtfully, then shook her head once more. "Where would I go?"
"How about back to live with your step-mother? She sounds like a nice lady."
"She is," Rogue said honestly, "I don't know what I would have done without her. But I think this is something that I've got to see through till the end. I can't just run away."
Risty tapped her darkly painted fingernails against her elbow. She seemed to muse of an idea for a moment, processing the thought over in her head. "And what about Kurt?"
"What about him?"
"Do you still care about him?" The question was spoken softly, quietly, but to Rogue it sliced through her bones like a sharpened blade. The big question.
She looked away for a moment, grey eyes focused somewhere past the window. Her features seemed to soften as she answered. "Yeah --- I do. I care about him a lot."
Risty smiled tenderly and leaned across the table, placing her hand over Rogue's. "Then why don't you go and talk to him?" she asked gently.
Rogue sighed. "How can I? I don't even know where he is."
"But what if you did? Would you see him?"
There was a hesitant pause. "I think so."
Risty smiled; strangely satisfied with the answer she received. She squeezed her friend's fingers between her own in encouragement. "Then do it. Find him and talk things through. Forget the Institute --- what have they ever done but lie and keep the truth from you. Wherever he is, I'm sure he wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. You could live together ---- be a real family."
Rogue gave a nervous laugh. "Don't you think you're being a little hasty?"
"Why? You know it's the truth."
The X-Man blinked thoughtfully. Risty's idea did sound good --- if she knew where Kurt was, she would have been tempted to simply leave the Institute and follow her brother. 'A real family' ---- Rogue had never fully understood what that was. To her, it had always simply meant a foster home that didn't turn her away after a couple of months. The thought that it could mean more was a strange and alien feeling --- but appealing nevertheless.
Only one problem. She had no idea where on Earth Kurt was.
She leaned forward and rested her chin in her hand. "Maybe your right. I don't know."
Risty looked to her sadly. "Just think about it, alright luv? I only want you to be happy."
"I guess. Risty?"
"Hm?"
Rogue shifted uncomfortably. "Thanks --- you know, for not freaking out."
The English girl tilted her head inquisitively, eyes hooded. A ghost of a smirk played on her dark mouth.
"Hey, what are friends for?"
Evan Daniels strode down the crowded corridors of Bayville High, scowling. He found his locker and entered the combination, giving it a rueful kick when it refused to open the first time. The force of the impact made the metal door swing open, his books and papers spilling onto the floor. He stared down at the mess in unchecked irritation.
"Aww man!"
Stooping to pick it up, he heard the sound of hurried footsteps behind him. He didn't look up, however, until he heard Kitty's voice rise above the combined noise of the rest of the student body.
"Evan! Evan! Hey, will you, like, let me past? Evan, over here!"
Storm's young nephew frowned and rose to his feet, turning to watch as his fellow mutant elbowed her way through the swarming sea of bodies. She looked at him, swollen red eyes gleaming, mouth pulled together in a grim line.
"Kitty? What's up?"
Their earlier brief argument apparently forgotten, the dark haired girl grabbed his arms and pulled him closer to the lockers, standing close. She looked up at him, and for the first time he noticed that her smooth skin was blotched and tear stained.
He watched her in concern. "Have you been crying?"
"No. Yes. Look it doesn't matter." She blinked, chest rising and falling with quickened breathing. She looked like she'd been running. Her normally immaculate hair stuck out at strange angles, heavy strands falling over her forehead. "I spoke to Lance a few minutes ago."
Evan scowled. "Lance?"
"Uh-huh." She paused, eyes searching his. She hadn't taken her hand from his arm, and for a brief moment it was as though they were the only two kids on the corridor. Everything else seemed to fade into mute nothingness, and her next words rang clear in the void. "He told me where Kurt is."
A light which had long been gone in Evan's dark eyes was suddenly re-lit. "What? Where?"
Kitty nodded. "He's staying with Mystique at the Brotherhood house." Noting the sudden fear on the blonde haired boy, she continued hastily, "Don't worry though, he's fine. They're treating him right and everything."
Evan couldn't get his head around it. He took a few seconds to pull his reeling thoughts together. Kurt was with the Brotherhood? What did that mean?
He opened his mouth to say something but was suddenly cut short. There was a clatter of books falling and a choked cry of surprise. He turned around and found himself facing a familiar figure.
His eyes widened. "Rogue? I thought that you were back at the Institute?"
The gothic girl said nothing, only stared in disbelief. Her heart was caught somewhere in her throat and her stomach had dropped to her knees. A giddy sensation of falling engulfed her mind.
Standing next to her, it was Risty who recovered first. She dropped to her knees and began to pick up the books that Rogue had dropped. She glanced up to her friend as she did so. "Luv? You alright?"
Rogue couldn't move. For moment, she wondered whether she had heard correctly. She almost hoped she hadn't. But no, the guilty glances Evan and Kitty exchanged conformed it all. Kurt --- her brother Kurt --- was staying with the Brotherhood.
She was gradually made aware of the pressure of a hand on her shoulder. Dazed, confused, she looked to where Risty stood. The purple haired girl watched her in ill-disguised apprehension. She solemnly handed her the crumpled piece of paper that she held between her fingers.
"Rogue ---- it fell out of your locker. I think its important."
With trembling fingers, Rogue took the paper. It was a note. A note from Kurt.
Grey eyes skimmed the short text, eyebrows pulled together uncertainly.
Dear Rogue.
I'm sorry.
Love always,
Kurt.
She swallowed, shaking her head slowly. "Oh, Kurt --- what have you done?"