==========================Dissing your Claimer====================
I still don't own KONAMI, your soul or any of the Silent Hill franchise. Yet I now own Bubbles hair. So nyah!
=========dedicated to ===============
+++++++++++++++LAST WEEK ON SH:C++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*Vincent walks in, sucking a Cola lollypop*
Vincent: Ah, Heather. That is what your name is now?
Heather: Who are you?
Vincent: Ah, pardon my mysterious and ignorant nature, but I must do that throughout the game to seem cool. I am Vincent, Father Vincent. Don't forget it, OK? If you hate me, do not worry. I shall be killed later on my Claudia. You know that crazy bitch who killed Harry?
Heather: Actually, I need to go downstairs and defeat the wicked-cool monstah before I see my dead father. Speaking of wicked-cool monstahs, have you been seeing them?
Vincent: Hmmm. Monsters, you say? Well.hi-diddly doo. I happen to know one myself. Bobbie, you in that room?
*A large groan is heard from the door next to Vincent*
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++MOO++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*We start off with James, this episode. As his current situation means that this section will not last long.*
*James strikes the ground with amazing impact, and creates a crater to the centre of the EARTH!*
James: Owies.
I know he was burnt to smoulders, but it wouldn't be a collage with only 2 characters.
*There seems to be a bar on an unsupported rock in the centre of the.uh.centre of the Earth, a rock- type man walks up to James and drags him to the bar*
Bartender: Hi there, traveller. We don't get many customers down here. My name's Peter and this is Rocky. You?
James: Hahahaaa.very funny Family Guy reference there, Vakama. My name is James, and I should be-*looks at seemingly endless supply of alcohol and beverages* O_O
Peter: What can I do ya, James?
James: Got any root beer? I drank some in Grub's Déjà vu story.it rulz j00.
Peter: Ok.O_o. So, where do you hail from, James?
James: Silent Hill. Well, Alabama, but the dick up there got me abducted.
¬_¬
*rock flies from hole in the roof, and hits James. Once again, knocking him down and out.*
Oops.
Ok.I'm bored of James now..@_@. So let's find Harry.
*We travel up and out.to the wonderfully decorated Midwich Elementary School for deformed and Satanised children.is Satanised a word? Never-mind*
Harry: *wiping cream off his lips* See yall next replay! Especially you, demon child #12. *Harry simulates shooting a pistol at an extremely ugly demon child.imagine that? Ewww.*
*Harry walks out of the front door, into hellish Silent Hill*
Harry: What the-? *Walks back into school and up to lizard, then frowns*(
Lizard: oowa-wi-gaagoo? Ooh-wa-wi-gawww.*The lizard then collapses onto the floor, seemingly dead.and winks at Harry. Harry winks back, and the school turns back to normal*
*Church bells are heard*
Harry: hmm. I bet that sound is coming from the Happy Burger restaurant. It sounds evil!
*Harry runs out of the school shouting, "MUNCHY THE EVIL SOUND!", and proceeds to run into a lamppost*
*When Harry regains consciousness, he is inside the Balkan Church*
Harry: Damn. Happy Burger was taken over by McDonalds again. I must put a stop to this evil!
*Harry runs out of the front door, and once more.into a lamppost*
*When Harry regains consciousness, he sees an incredibly ugly woman standing in front of him*
Harry: Oh my god! Latoyah Jackson?!
IUW: *Staring at Harry* Do you know Kauffman, by any chance?
Harry: No.*wipes powder off his lips*.So..got any retarded Rubik's cubes that you wanna give me? You know, so I can catch a certain little ghost girlie?
IUW: No..I have this Flauros though. It's like a retarded Lament. You can even summon Pin-Head with it. how do you think you got here?
Harry: Ha! That's funny.
Idiot.
Harry: stfu, Vakama.
How did you say STFU? Was it like: Stuff-Yoo
Harry: yeah.I think. I dunno. Let them work it out..*looks at reader and stares*
*SIGH* Side-tracked, again.
*Throws another magic rock at Harry, knocking him unconscious.*
*Harry wakes up in a damned awful reception, Harry looks at the posters on the wall*
Harry: *drooling* I've died, and gone to heaven.but then it's like they realised it wasn't my time, so they threw me into a porn center.
*The ground crumbles and James climbs out*
James: Haven't you got anything original? Jeezy-Creezy.
Harry: Your face. It's so.real.
James: You should see your 17 year old kid, Heather. OOMPH! She's hot.
Harry: O_O
James: Oh, yeah.right. Sorry, just.walk into the Doctor's office.
Harry:.Why?
*A loud gunshot is heard*
Harry: Oh.that. Ok. Ciao, nice meeting yall.
James: Bye Haz.
O_o.Stuff-Yoo, damn chapter hog.
*Harry walks into Doctor's office, and sees a well-dressed man dead on the floor, and a large skinned Pterodactyl-type thing holding a revolver on the chair.*
LSPTT: *sighing* Kaw-Kah-KOOO..*shoots at Harry*
Harry: *Jumps back, oblivious to the gun, dead man.or the bird-thing* Wait, I'm Harry Mason. I'm in town on vacation.
LSPTT: KAW-KOO-KEH-KEE-KAAAAH!
Harry: Peace, bro.
*The LSPTT hand-jives Harry.*
LSPTT: KAW-KAAAAH-RESPECK!
Harry, satisfied with his social skills, sets off for the elevator.
But that's enough of him.Heather barely has any space.
*Heather is walking home veeeeery slowly.for suspense, and because she was a bit more scared than she expected.*
Heather: *Opening her door* Dad, I'm home.
What always stunned me is the fact that; heather did not go in bawling to Daddy, she was really quite calm.
Heather: Dad? Dad? *Looks at Harry's lucky chair, he never went anywhere without it. Pinned to the chair there was a note.
Dear Heather,
I have been summoned back to Silent Hill, to once again kill your biological father. I have left some hot-dogs in the pan. I think you can cook them yourself. Oh, hearsay is going round that you're pregnant with god again.don't let daddy down honey. Try an abortion.I did.
Your most likely dead father, Harry Mason!
Heather: Oh...my god! He knows I'm allergic to hot dogs. Some father he is.
*Heather falls onto the chair and starts wailing*
Heather: ALLERGIES, YOU TOLD ME YOU KNEW EVERYTHING DAD! LIAR!
Now every time Heather approaches that sacred chair, all her mouth will respond is: LIAR.
Heather decided to go into her room for a piss.I mean, she had survived hell twice, cut her some cheese! Not seriously, you sick minded bastards.
*Heather walks into her room, and then gasps. Her backstreet boyz poster has been STOLEN!*
Heather: No! Oh, god no! WHYYYYYY! *Heather shudders* Da-yum. It's cold in here. *walks up to back door, where she sees blood trailing up the stairs* Hmm. Interesting.*clicks fuzzy vision switch on, and runs up the stairs*
*Claudia is there*
Claudia: You're late. We were scheduled for tea 45 minutes ago.
Heather: You stole my backstreet boyz poster..*aims her pistol at Claudia*
Claudia: Their music was not the work of our God, for one thing. We needed to fill your heart with hatred. One day you shall see. Anyhoo, It was I who gave the order, but he carried it out. *Claudia points over to the corner of the roof, where Drew Carrey is sat eating cheese pie*
Heather: *holding mouth, and trying not to throw up* You sick.bitch.
*Drew Carrey barges at heather, but Heather pulls out a Mars Bar from her bag and throws it off the roof. *
SPLAT! Heehee.
*Heather walks back downstairs to see Douglas eating the hot-dogs*
Douglas: *shaking head* Allergies, I heard you.
Heather: How grotesque. Anyway, wanna give me a ride to Silent Hill?
Douglas: Nah.
Heather: I'll make it worth your while.
Douglas: Yowzerz! * Douglas' hat flies off head as if blown by and, and a whistle is heard*
Heather: Sorry, I need to close the back door, and I need to stop practising my recorder at inappropriate times. Once again, sorry.
Douglas: *Walking out slowly, He seems to be limping, Doity old man* I'll bring my car round your back.uh! I mean, umm..I'll get my car! *runs out*
I experimented a bit. So it's kinda crap. I swore, So the rating has a bump- up!!!
I still don't own KONAMI, your soul or any of the Silent Hill franchise. Yet I now own Bubbles hair. So nyah!
=========dedicated to ===============
+++++++++++++++LAST WEEK ON SH:C++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*Vincent walks in, sucking a Cola lollypop*
Vincent: Ah, Heather. That is what your name is now?
Heather: Who are you?
Vincent: Ah, pardon my mysterious and ignorant nature, but I must do that throughout the game to seem cool. I am Vincent, Father Vincent. Don't forget it, OK? If you hate me, do not worry. I shall be killed later on my Claudia. You know that crazy bitch who killed Harry?
Heather: Actually, I need to go downstairs and defeat the wicked-cool monstah before I see my dead father. Speaking of wicked-cool monstahs, have you been seeing them?
Vincent: Hmmm. Monsters, you say? Well.hi-diddly doo. I happen to know one myself. Bobbie, you in that room?
*A large groan is heard from the door next to Vincent*
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++MOO++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*We start off with James, this episode. As his current situation means that this section will not last long.*
*James strikes the ground with amazing impact, and creates a crater to the centre of the EARTH!*
James: Owies.
I know he was burnt to smoulders, but it wouldn't be a collage with only 2 characters.
*There seems to be a bar on an unsupported rock in the centre of the.uh.centre of the Earth, a rock- type man walks up to James and drags him to the bar*
Bartender: Hi there, traveller. We don't get many customers down here. My name's Peter and this is Rocky. You?
James: Hahahaaa.very funny Family Guy reference there, Vakama. My name is James, and I should be-*looks at seemingly endless supply of alcohol and beverages* O_O
Peter: What can I do ya, James?
James: Got any root beer? I drank some in Grub's Déjà vu story.it rulz j00.
Peter: Ok.O_o. So, where do you hail from, James?
James: Silent Hill. Well, Alabama, but the dick up there got me abducted.
¬_¬
*rock flies from hole in the roof, and hits James. Once again, knocking him down and out.*
Oops.
Ok.I'm bored of James now..@_@. So let's find Harry.
*We travel up and out.to the wonderfully decorated Midwich Elementary School for deformed and Satanised children.is Satanised a word? Never-mind*
Harry: *wiping cream off his lips* See yall next replay! Especially you, demon child #12. *Harry simulates shooting a pistol at an extremely ugly demon child.imagine that? Ewww.*
*Harry walks out of the front door, into hellish Silent Hill*
Harry: What the-? *Walks back into school and up to lizard, then frowns*(
Lizard: oowa-wi-gaagoo? Ooh-wa-wi-gawww.*The lizard then collapses onto the floor, seemingly dead.and winks at Harry. Harry winks back, and the school turns back to normal*
*Church bells are heard*
Harry: hmm. I bet that sound is coming from the Happy Burger restaurant. It sounds evil!
*Harry runs out of the school shouting, "MUNCHY THE EVIL SOUND!", and proceeds to run into a lamppost*
*When Harry regains consciousness, he is inside the Balkan Church*
Harry: Damn. Happy Burger was taken over by McDonalds again. I must put a stop to this evil!
*Harry runs out of the front door, and once more.into a lamppost*
*When Harry regains consciousness, he sees an incredibly ugly woman standing in front of him*
Harry: Oh my god! Latoyah Jackson?!
IUW: *Staring at Harry* Do you know Kauffman, by any chance?
Harry: No.*wipes powder off his lips*.So..got any retarded Rubik's cubes that you wanna give me? You know, so I can catch a certain little ghost girlie?
IUW: No..I have this Flauros though. It's like a retarded Lament. You can even summon Pin-Head with it. how do you think you got here?
Harry: Ha! That's funny.
Idiot.
Harry: stfu, Vakama.
How did you say STFU? Was it like: Stuff-Yoo
Harry: yeah.I think. I dunno. Let them work it out..*looks at reader and stares*
*SIGH* Side-tracked, again.
*Throws another magic rock at Harry, knocking him unconscious.*
*Harry wakes up in a damned awful reception, Harry looks at the posters on the wall*
Harry: *drooling* I've died, and gone to heaven.but then it's like they realised it wasn't my time, so they threw me into a porn center.
*The ground crumbles and James climbs out*
James: Haven't you got anything original? Jeezy-Creezy.
Harry: Your face. It's so.real.
James: You should see your 17 year old kid, Heather. OOMPH! She's hot.
Harry: O_O
James: Oh, yeah.right. Sorry, just.walk into the Doctor's office.
Harry:.Why?
*A loud gunshot is heard*
Harry: Oh.that. Ok. Ciao, nice meeting yall.
James: Bye Haz.
O_o.Stuff-Yoo, damn chapter hog.
*Harry walks into Doctor's office, and sees a well-dressed man dead on the floor, and a large skinned Pterodactyl-type thing holding a revolver on the chair.*
LSPTT: *sighing* Kaw-Kah-KOOO..*shoots at Harry*
Harry: *Jumps back, oblivious to the gun, dead man.or the bird-thing* Wait, I'm Harry Mason. I'm in town on vacation.
LSPTT: KAW-KOO-KEH-KEE-KAAAAH!
Harry: Peace, bro.
*The LSPTT hand-jives Harry.*
LSPTT: KAW-KAAAAH-RESPECK!
Harry, satisfied with his social skills, sets off for the elevator.
But that's enough of him.Heather barely has any space.
*Heather is walking home veeeeery slowly.for suspense, and because she was a bit more scared than she expected.*
Heather: *Opening her door* Dad, I'm home.
What always stunned me is the fact that; heather did not go in bawling to Daddy, she was really quite calm.
Heather: Dad? Dad? *Looks at Harry's lucky chair, he never went anywhere without it. Pinned to the chair there was a note.
Dear Heather,
I have been summoned back to Silent Hill, to once again kill your biological father. I have left some hot-dogs in the pan. I think you can cook them yourself. Oh, hearsay is going round that you're pregnant with god again.don't let daddy down honey. Try an abortion.I did.
Your most likely dead father, Harry Mason!
Heather: Oh...my god! He knows I'm allergic to hot dogs. Some father he is.
*Heather falls onto the chair and starts wailing*
Heather: ALLERGIES, YOU TOLD ME YOU KNEW EVERYTHING DAD! LIAR!
Now every time Heather approaches that sacred chair, all her mouth will respond is: LIAR.
Heather decided to go into her room for a piss.I mean, she had survived hell twice, cut her some cheese! Not seriously, you sick minded bastards.
*Heather walks into her room, and then gasps. Her backstreet boyz poster has been STOLEN!*
Heather: No! Oh, god no! WHYYYYYY! *Heather shudders* Da-yum. It's cold in here. *walks up to back door, where she sees blood trailing up the stairs* Hmm. Interesting.*clicks fuzzy vision switch on, and runs up the stairs*
*Claudia is there*
Claudia: You're late. We were scheduled for tea 45 minutes ago.
Heather: You stole my backstreet boyz poster..*aims her pistol at Claudia*
Claudia: Their music was not the work of our God, for one thing. We needed to fill your heart with hatred. One day you shall see. Anyhoo, It was I who gave the order, but he carried it out. *Claudia points over to the corner of the roof, where Drew Carrey is sat eating cheese pie*
Heather: *holding mouth, and trying not to throw up* You sick.bitch.
*Drew Carrey barges at heather, but Heather pulls out a Mars Bar from her bag and throws it off the roof. *
SPLAT! Heehee.
*Heather walks back downstairs to see Douglas eating the hot-dogs*
Douglas: *shaking head* Allergies, I heard you.
Heather: How grotesque. Anyway, wanna give me a ride to Silent Hill?
Douglas: Nah.
Heather: I'll make it worth your while.
Douglas: Yowzerz! * Douglas' hat flies off head as if blown by and, and a whistle is heard*
Heather: Sorry, I need to close the back door, and I need to stop practising my recorder at inappropriate times. Once again, sorry.
Douglas: *Walking out slowly, He seems to be limping, Doity old man* I'll bring my car round your back.uh! I mean, umm..I'll get my car! *runs out*
I experimented a bit. So it's kinda crap. I swore, So the rating has a bump- up!!!