Author notice : hehehe, since I'm neither a J/J or J/K fan I thought
it was about time to be a little devious. All I can say it Girl Power and poor
Jag and Kyp!
On another note: the POV switches between Jag and Kyp, so you don't get confused!
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NOW YOU'RE GONE
Now you're gone
I can feel my heart is breaking,
An' I can't go on
When I think of the love that you've taken
She turned around and walked out of the room, leaving me speechless. Nothing
in my training had prepared me for this.
The door closed behind her with a hiss and with that she was gone from my sight
and from my life.
A few minutes later I found myself still staring at the door. I thought of something someone once told me, I couldn't remember who and it didn't matter, I look for mercy when my heart begins to bleed.
Slowly I sat down on my bunk. It pretty much summed up my feelings. Why had she broken up with me? I thought we were doing so well. I continued staring at the door and ignored my bleeping commlink.
Now you're gone
I can feel my heart is breaking,
An' I can't go on
When I think of the love that you've taken
Jaina, wait!
I walked after her and almost collided with her when she abruptly turned around. No, Kyp, I through arguing with you! I'm tired of this, it's wearing me out!
So you're just going to leave? I stared directly in her brandy brown eyes. They revealed nothing.
Yes, I told you already and I'm telling you one last time. Yes, I'm going to leave. I'm going with Jacen and Uncle Luke to try and find this planet, Zonoma Zekot! She started walking again, talking large steps at a time, then turned around again, And no, you're not coming! She turned continued her walking.
I stared after her. Taking some distance, leaving, rivalry with Jagged Fel? She told me but I didn't understand. Maybe I did, but not at the moment. What was she talking about? Love her? Off course I did, like a sister. Right? I stared at her retreating form. Right?
In the night I pray for your embrace,
Every time I close my eyes
I can't escape your face
You're out of sight,
But, always on my mind,
I never realized
My love could be so blind
I had stopped my gawking at the door and tried to sleep, but I came to realize
that was not a good idea. Every few seconds my mind zoomed in on Jaina. I remembered
our nights together, our sparring, flight simulations, our arguments and a million
other little things, like the way she secretly smiled at me in meetings, the
way her clothes fit, the way she walked
I flipped, buried my face in the pillow and screamed. But it didn't help. I saw Jaina in my minds eye on one of our rare trips to one of the Mon Calamari beaches. Focus Jagged Fel, focus, I scolded myself.
I loved her. I loved like I'd loved no one else. I loved, treasured, appreciated, cherished, prized and respected Jaina Solo.
Almost morning.
I was so stupid. Why hadn't I used my brain? It is there for a reason! I should have never played this game of rivalry with Durron. Should have known better.
Almost morning...
In the night I pray for your embrace,
Every time I close my eyes
I can't escape your face
You're out of sight,
But, always on my mind,
I never realized
My love could be so blind
I drove my fist into the wall and heard as well as felt a bone or two break,
but in my drunken state I didn't feel it. I screamed
and fell to the floor and the bottle of Corellian Whiskey slipped from my good
and fell to the floor. A million piece of glass scattered on the floor.
All I did was look for love.
In the wrong place, you moron! Why her, why in all the darn women in this galaxy, why her? There were millions of others, but you just had to fall for her. She's like you're little sister, you idiot.
I tried to stand, which took the better part of five minutes. The room was spinning. Was that supposed to happen?
Jaina
A growl escaped my mouth. Even when I was drunk as a – as a what – I couldn't get my mind of her. She didn't just leave me, she also left this planet. By tomorrow she would be far away. Why me?
I walked, more like stumbled, over to the refresher mirror and stuck my tongue out at my own image.
Suddenly my stomach was at war and I fell to the floor
That hurt!
Jaina
But, now you're gone
There's an emptiness closing around me,
An' I can't go on
When all I have left is the memory
Finally I could take it any longer. I had to talk to her. She was leaving. I
wasn't supposed to know, but I did. I had to talk to her one last time.
Maybe she would change her mind. Maybe. I left my room in a hurry.
I reached the hangar just as the ship raced into space.
No, no, no, no, I mumbled softly so no one else could hear it.
She was gone. It felt strange. Empty. A piece was missing. My heart cried and my body was longing for her touch. Why me?
Now what? Now what was I going to do? My life's going to be strange without Jaina in it. What should I do next? What am I supposed to do?
I hate doubts, they made matters difficult. So I decided then and there. I would continue my life as normal as possible.
Without Jaina.
I started to walk out the hangar when I observed another person just a few meters away. Kyp Durron. Anger rose from deep inside.
He turned and saw me too.
I wanted to hit him. Hit him so hard he would feel the pain I felt inside, but as I looked at him I saw the same pain. He was hurting too.
Good.
At least a little bit of satisfaction
But there's not satisfaction.
Jaina was gone
Forever!
But, now you're gone
There's an emptiness closing around me,
An' I can't go on
When all I have left is the memory
My head hurt, a lot. And my body ached. I felt like an X-Wing had landed on
top of me and an R-Unit was parked inside my head. And I felt a dull aching
in my hand. Something was broken.
Painful.
Jaina
I bolted upright and instantly regretted doing so. Jaina. She was leaving today. This morning! I twisted so I could look at the crono in the room, in ten minutes.
I had to talk to her before she left. I had to make her understand. I loved her, I couldn't let her go. Or see that Jag, the idiot, got her back. Instantly I forgot my hangover and the pain in my broken hand and raced from the room towards the hangar. I tried to reach out with the Force to find out if she was still there but it was too painful.
I reached the hangar just as the ship raced into space.
I stared after it until I could no longer see it.
She was gone. Why did she have to leave? She could have stayed. I'm an idiot.
At last I had found love, but she left. She left me. Question raced to my mind, though I hardly noticed them through a world of pain, physical and emotional.
At last I tried to imagine a life without Jaina, but I couldn't. It was too upsetting. My heart ached for her. It would always ache for her, no matter where she tried to go or how long she would be gone.
Emptiness.
I had to get out of here. Just as I turned I saw Jagged Fell just a few meters away, staring at me. He was angry, I could tell. So was I. But he also looked hurt. I didn't need the Force to tell me Jaina had left him also!
Wicked
Now we're both without Jaina.
Somehow that wasn't comforting.
Jaina was gone.
Forever!
You're all I want,
Can't you feel the love
In this heart of mine
You're all that I need,
Since I lost you, girl,
I've been losing my mind
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Well? Weird ain't it Let me know!