A/N: First of all, I do not own Final Fantasy or Squaresoft. Only the characters that I made up are my own. This story is designed to be part of an interlocking set. This part will be told from Quistis's point of view and is meant to support the central story. I'll try to keep it where one can be read without absolutely needing to read another, but it's best to get the whole picture. The other two parts of the set will focus on other characters: one on Seifer and one from Squall's point of view. The one focusing on Seifer will be in third person. That said, please read and review.
I never imagined that I would get so far in life. After all, how much opportunity does an orphan get in this world? Things started roughly enough, in that little orphanage trying to fill in for Ellone. Then of course there was that awful foster home. It's hard to believe that those people were allowed to adopt me; they were so dreadfully ignorant and repressive. I suppose that was reason enough to forget, to put everything behind me, good and bad.
SeeD changed my life, even if I was only a child. I didn't have much talent for combat back then, but it was to be expected; I was so young. I think that first the year was one of the hardest, but once I acclimated myself to Garden and discovered the joys of learning, well, things got better. Looking back, I can remember and know that it wasn't GF that made me forget. I simply didn't want to remember those first few years.
Learning was easy enough for me; I let it occupy me all the time. When I was studying, that was all there was. I didn't have to worry about a hundred little details concerning my sad life. It didn't take too long to become the model student at the head of the class. I entered SeeD as soon as possible. I had to keep learning, improving myself. I probably did it as much for my own benefit as to show those foster parents that I could make something of myself.
I suppose that's what alienated me from my classmates. Everyone thought I was a cold know-it-all, a prude even. I grew up so much faster than everyone else around me, too fast. I was too mature for my classmates and expected too much from them. That's why I couldn't share my feelings with anyone. I ended up bottling my emotions and trying to smile, even when I was unhappy.
Squall and Seifer really rattled my cage. It was like a whirlwind had descended on the Garden and left those two behind. If they had shown more interest in the girls, they would have reminded me of a pair of rams fighting. Seifer was always starting the fight, and I was always the one breaking them up. I guess I was trying to be the big sister. Honestly, it bothered me to see Seifer always picking on Squall to get attention or starting a fight over some trivial matter.
Puberty made all of that a living hell that infinitely surpassed the trials of the Fire Cavern. By that time, I had come to see a kindred spirit in Squall, someone with just as many problems in communication and expression. Besides, he was attractive. Whether he noticed or not, there were plenty of girls that would have loved to date him. Hormones, I found, are the supreme enemy of a female trying to achieve everything before she's twenty. I already suffered from mild depression; the last thing I needed was to have cramps, mood swings, and a crush on the most unreachable male in the Garden.
Becoming the youngest instructor at the age of seventeen only compounded my problems. If I was uncomfortable with people my age before, I was absolutely dumbfounded about how to act after that. No one wanted to be friends with their instructor. The only people that sought my company were those fanatical 'Trepies.' The whole thing overwhelmed me.
My relationship with Squall was, at the most, a business association. I was his instructor. There was nothing more between us. I couldn't even call him a friend, since he only spoke to me when he was either pressured or required to do so. I could have stared at him doe-eyed and pouting, and he wouldn't have noticed.
After I was relieved of my instructing duties, we finally became friends. Unfortunately, Rinoa had entered the picture by that time. Whatever chance I might have had disappeared the second she smiled at him and dragged him onto the dance floor. All I could do during that whole time was bury my emotions like always. As much as I hated myself for it later, when things happened to Rinoa or her life was in danger, I was sort of glad. That was only until I saw what it did to Squall. He had been enchanted by her. Seeing her in trouble only caused him undue emotional pain. Even that upset me: that Rinoa had simply fallen into his arms like a damsel in distress, and he had fallen I love with her. And who did that leave me, Irvine or Zell? Irvine was taken with Selphie, and she could have him for all that it mattered to me. As for Zell, he was too crude, boorish, and loud. I had nothing against him personally and found him to be considerate on occasion. I simply couldn't have settled on him as a boyfriend.
Thankfully, I have been reinstated as an instructor and can once again bury myself in my duties. Squall, of course, became Headmaster so that Cid could retire. He and Edea plan to restore the old orphanage and settle down peacefully. Sorceresses and their Knights. Is that what it takes? Squall surprised everyone and proposed to Rinoa, and she surprised no one and accepted. She's been hinting that she wants to have me as her maid of honor. For that to happen, though, she'd actually need to agree on a date for the wedding. She's been putting it aside for two years now. I'm beginning to worry about Squall and the effect it might be having on him. Of course he is fully capable of handling his own affairs in regards to his private life. I still don't know if I really want to stay and deal with all of this. Perhaps I should just request a transfer to Trabia or Galbadia.
With everything that's happened in the past few years, I wish it was GF that made me forget. Then it wouldn't take years for me to put all of this behind me. Then again, perhaps I'll never put this behind me Maybe I'll become a sour old maid who can't move forward in life, stuck wondering what might have been. Maybe my foster parents were right, and happiness just wasn't meant for me. Maybe there really isn't anyone out there that could make me happy. Then again, perhaps I'm just being pessimistic. Perhaps.