Buffy swept her eyes over the quiet cemetery. What? Did all the demons decide to let everyone have a peaceful Christmas this year? Don't they know that now's a good time to start planning something? After all people are vulnerable this season...they have good will and--and jolly fat men in red suits! These people are--!

Xander laughed at his friend's frustration. Maybe they all chipped in to give the slayer a nice gift. Maybe they all staked themselves to give you the season off.

Buffy couldn't help but smile. She was glad Xander had come patrolling with her. She needed somebody to keep her company and he was the only one she could ask. Anyway, maybe she could get some gift ideas. She was sure that Willow and Dawn had already told him what they wanted for Christmas, maybe she could sneak it out of him. She knew he would buy Dawn that sweater she wanted so Buffy had to find something else.

Xander, if you could wish for one thing this Christmas, what would it be? Buffy glanced at Xander.

Xander sighed heavily and Buffy barely heard his answer.

***

After seeing absolutely nothing at the cemetery, Buffy and Xander had called it night and headed to Buffy's house. It was early and Buffy was surprised to find Dawn sleeping and Willow on her way to bed. Willow met the two in the kitchen where she was getting a glass of warm milk.

Buffy! Xander! You two are home early. Care for a cup of warm milk? Or perhaps you would like something else?

Buffy smiled wearily, No thanks, Will. As for us being home early, they saw us coming and all ran and hid.

Actually, we saw nothing tonight. It seems all the baddies were tired of fighting Buffy and decided to give her a break. Xander smiled at the funny look he got from the girls.

Willow ignored the excuse and looked at Buffy. Buffy, can I talk to you for a sec? It's about the turkey.

Sure, Will. What's up?

Uh, before you gals get into a delicious conversation about dead poultry, I think I'm gonna get some shut eye. Xander smiled shyly not wanting to be caught up in the who's the best cook' routine.

Buffy gently took Xander's hand in hers and squeezed it lightly. Thanks for coming tonight and keeping me company. It gets kind of tedious having a conversation with myself, I never know who to side with.

Xander stared at Buffy for a moment then took Buffy's head in his rather large hands. His tired eyes were filled with a deep sadness and his smile was very weary, yet his words were soft and gentle. I'm here to help, Buff. Xander softly kissed Buffy's forehead then turned to kiss Willow on the cheek before heading up the stairs to the spare bedroom. Goodnight, ladies.

Poor Xander. He must really miss Anya. Willow touched her cheek. She had sensed sorrow in his kiss.

Yeah, I wish there was something I could do for him. He has been such a good friend--you all have. Buffy played with the pendant that she had fastened around her neck before meeting Dawn and Willow that afternoon. It was so pretty she thought she might as well wear it. So what did you want to talk to me about?

Oh yeah. Well, I thought that since you're always out slaying and then coming home all tired and sweaty, and I'm no help sitting at home twiddling my thumbs, maybe I could make turkey dinner on Christmas Eve. I-I don't mean that you can't cook or anything! I just thought it would give you a break, some time to hang with the gang. You don't seem to have much time for that anymore.

Buffy thought of the many nights she'd spent away from her friends lately. She severely missed all the fun times they had shared in high-school--minus the demons and vampires and werewolves and giant grad class eating snakes. I'd like that very much. Just spending time with you guys would be the best Christmas present ever. Buffy smiled and hugged her friend.

Thanks, Buff. You won't regret it, I promise.

I know I won't, Will.

The two girls said goodnight and went to their rooms. Buffy slipped into her pajamas and climbed into bed. Letting her head sink into her pillow, Buffy fell asleep.

***

Buffy gasped as she looked up and saw Dawn tied to the tower, blood dripping from her and making a large red puddle at Buffy's feet. A huge white flash brought Buffy's attention to the opening portal just below Dawn who screamed,

I'm coming, Dawnie! Buffy started towards the tower but stopped short as a familiar figure crossed the tower and went to Dawn. Buffy felt cold as she realized who it was--it was her!

Buffy watched herself untie Dawn then hug her. Buffy new what was coming as she watched herself step to the edge of the tower. She jumped. The portal closed leaving Dawn crying alone on the tower.

Buffy closed her eyes for a minute then opened them. She was now standing beside a pile of broken metal and debris which seemed to have fallen from the tower. Spike was kneeling on the ground in front of her all cut up and bleeding, pure fear glazed his eyes. He didn't seem to know Buffy was there, instead his attention was on the tower.

Buffy followed Spike's stare and her breath caught in her throat. Buffy saw herself standing n the edge of the tower staring into the portal below.

Oh my god! Buffy realized she was watching the same thing as before. Buffy watched herself jump and a shiver went down her spine.

Buffy? Buffy no don't! Spike screamed as Buffy fell into the portal closing it forever.

Buffy looked down at Spike who was shaking fiercely. Tears flooded his face smearing the blood from his cuts. Choked sobs were coming from him in gasps and Buffy realized he couldn't breath. A look of unbelief burned in his eyes and a look of pain and terror washed across his face.

Nooooooo! I killed her! Spike looked at his bloody hands then at the tower. I couldn't save her--I--I killed her. Spike sobbed uncontrollably with desperation.

Spike, it's okay. I'm here now, see? Not dead. Buffy knelt beside Spike and put her hand on his shaking shoulder. Spike didn't seem to notice.

Spike! Are you okay? Buffy looked up and saw Dawn running towards them. Spike looked up at Dawn and sprang to hug her.

Oh, Niblet! I'm sorry! I couldn't save her--I tried! Spike held Dawn close and sobbed into her hair, I'm so sorry. Save me, Dawnie! Save me!

Buffy watched in shock at the two mourning her death, both wracked with sobs. Suddenly she realized Dawnie hadn't even seen her. Buffy closed her eyes again.

Opening her eyes Buffy saw Spike standing in front of her. They were now standing on the tower where her and Dawn had been before she jumped off. Spike's face was cut up and bleeding with bruises starting to show. This time there were no tears streaming down his face. He wasn't wearing his duster and his t-shirt was shredded, bloody wounds now showing on his chest and abdomen. Spike smiled at her.

Buffy realized he could see her! She tried to move towards him but found she couldn't. Buffy saw her wrists and ankles were bound by ropes tied to the tower. Blood dripped from her feet opening a large portal below her and Spike.

Spike walked towards Buffy, his smile fading. I love you, Buffy, he whispered before kissing her softly, yet passionately. A cool rush flowed through Buffy as she realized feelings she never knew she had for the vampire. Pulling out of the kiss, Spike gently caressed Buffy's cheek.

Spike, I-! Spike cut Buffy off with another kiss.

It's okay, luv. I know this is right. Spike kissed Buffy's forehead then turned away from her, slowly walking towards the edge.

Buffy immediately realized what Spike was going to do and she pulled at her bonds. Tears started to flow down her cheeks as she panicked.

Spike, you don't have to do this! Buffy voice shook. Spike, please don't, she pleaded.

Don't forget me, slayer. A single tear rolled down Spike's cheek as he jumped.

Buffy screamed as she watched the portal close. Her face was soaked with tears as she closed her eyes. Save me, she whispered.

***

Buffy suddenly sat up in her bed. She was soaked with sweat and her head hurt. Slowly climbing out of bed, Buffy found her clothes and changed in the dark. She was shivering though her room was warm, she was shaking with fear. The dream had seemed so real. Buffy knew she was awake now but something didn't feel right, she had to go to Spike.

***

Buffy ran all the way to the school. She had no idea what she was doing or what she was going to say to Spike. How was she going to explain the fact that the sight of Spike jumping off the tower was embedded into her brain and she could not forget it no matter how hard she tried, and it terrified her.

Buffy found her way into the school basement and started towards the place she normally found Spike. Buffy found the spot easily but frowned when she didn't see Spike.

Buffy pulled out a stake and held it ready. Something felt really wrong. Spike where are you? Buffy jumped at a sound coming from a corridor ahead of her. Slowly Buffy walked towards the sound. If you are there answer me. Spike, please. It's me--Buffy.

The sound of breaking glass and too many voices to count made Buffy's back go stiff. That doesn't sound good. Buffy didn't even realize she had spoken aloud. She could not count the voices but she knew there were too many for her to take by herself. Buffy didn't know who they were or what they wanted, but somehow she knew they weren't just looking for a place to crash and party. She had to find Spike and get out of there before they noticed her.

The voices came closer and closer forcing Buffy to turn and run. She ran past the piled desks and bookshelves, around this corner and that, past a large door marked FURNACE: Do Not Enter', and right into Spike.

Spike's eyes lit up. Spike looked into Buffy's eyes and suddenly frowned. We need to find it. No time left.

Spike, we don't have time for this! We have to get out of here before-! Buffy froze as she heard the voices getting closer. Grabbing Spike's hand, Buffy started running. She could feel something behind her and she glanced over her shoulder. A dozen or more ugly demons were gaining on her and Spike. Buffy sped up.

Turning a corner, Buffy saw her chance. Pulling Spike along, she ducked behind a pile of desks. The mob of demons charged past Buffy and Spike and down the hall. Buffy waited until the demons were out of sight then, still holding Spike's hand, she jumped up and started running back the way they had come.

Buffy tried to think. Her and Spike couldn't outrun the demons and there were too many for the two of them to fight without weapons or back-up. We have to hide!, she thought. The furnace! Buffy remembered passing the door to the furnace room and took a left. She could hear voices again and she knew the demons had figured out her backtracking plan. Buffy finally found the door marked FURNACE: Do Not Enter' and opened it throwing herself and Spike inside.

Spike moaned and Buffy motioned for him to be quiet. The furnace was loud but Buffy knew from experience that demons had good ears. She only hoped they hadn't heard the door slam behind her. The room was completely dark except for a thin sliver of light under the door which came from the hallway. Buffy sighed with relief as she saw the shadows rush past the light and then disappear. The demons had gone right by.

Buffy slightly relaxed and realized she was still hold Spike's hand. As a reflex she began to pull away, but then decided against it. Spike's hand was shaking and she could sense great fear in the vampire. He was gripping her hand for dear life--or rather unlife. Buffy waited for her eyes to adjust in the dark then barely made out his silhouette. She couldn't see him well but she knew he could see her.

Spike, are you okay?

Spike's voice was tight. We have to find it! They are coming! No time left, no time!

Buffy could see Spike's silhouette moving nervously. He still hadn't let go of her hand, his grip still as desperate if not more. Buffy started to worry about him.

Spike, what do you mean? What do we have to find? Buffy's eyes were adjusting more every minute and now she could almost see his face.

Surprise sounded in Spike's voice. You know where it is! Spike had stopped moving and the shaking had almost stopped in his body. Suddenly his voice became frantic. You have to tell me or else they will hurt me! Please don't let them hurt me! I promise I'll be good! Spike fell to his knees letting go of Buffy's hand. I promise I'll be good, he whispered.

Buffy could now make out the vampire clearly. He was holding his head in his hands and rocking back and forth. Suddenly her heart broke as pictures of Spike battered and bruised after Glory had taken him flooded her head. She thought of all the times he had saved her in a fight and ended up looking worse than she had felt after each fight. She looked at what the brave vampire had become because of her.

Buffy knelt in front of Spike and gently placed her hands over his, pulling them away from his head. Spike fell into Buffy's arms and hid his face in her breasts. Buffy heard him weeping quietly and she held him close to her.

Buffy suddenly remembered the dream and pictured Spike jumping off the tower. She shivered and swore to herself that she wouldn't let anything more happen to him. He had been through too much already.