Rating: PG 14 no 15, no 13, definitely 13
Disclaimer: All I own is the idea of them switching bodies (I don't even own the Legolas take off; other writers did the whole Nancy elf thing before me, waaahhh)
10. Finally another Chapter, I told you I could do it!!!!!!!!!!!
After many hours of useless traveling Frodo found him self drawn to the pools, "We see why you wanted to reach them, precioussss we do." He hissed. Aragorn made a revolted face before jogging to the front. "I little tassssste perhapsssss, like elf soup. Aragorn began to bang his head on his sword hilt and blathering insane gibberish. "Hmmm, a taste, yes just a taste." Frodo then dived headlong into the pool.
"Frodo, What in Mordor do you think you are doing!!???" Aragorn yelled, halting his head bashing. "Gollum you useless piece of flesh, grab him!!!"
"Yesss nice hobbits, we grabs him, we grabs him good!" Gollum hissed reaching into the water and grabbing the ring bearer.
"Gahh, get off me! He tries to take in from us he does, kills him we must!!!" Frodo yelped when he noticed who his rescuer was.
Gollum hissed in his face and showed his pointy fangs, "Don't go near the lights!!" he screeched before crawling to the front.
"You will be the death of me, I said it once, I shall say it a million times," Aragorn sighed helping a still shaking Frodo to his feet.
That evening Frodo could not sleep, he watched the Gollum creature rocking and muttering on a nearby rock. "Want it, we wants it, can't have it, but want it, ohh how badly we want it.."
The sound of his blathering grew too much to bear. "Shut UP!!!!!" Frodo yelled.
Aragorn opened one eye "Yes shut up, both of you just shut up." He then turned over and went back to sleep.
Frodo crept up behind Gollum and drew Sting from its sheath. Gollum looked up and tuned to the Ring Bearer. "Master should be sleeping, master needs his sleep." He hissed.
"Need my sleep!!! You shall kill us it our sleep, we shunt sleep!" Frodo screeched.
"Shut up, shut up shut up!!!!!" Aragorn cried covering his ears in vain hope. Suddenly a horrific scream filled the air. "I said SHUT UP!!" Aragorn screamed back.
Gollum began to whimper uncontrollably, 'Gahh, hide hide!!" "Black riders, they search for us!!" Frodo yelped before flinging himself under a bush he felt his chest burn in pain.
"They shall see us, they shall se us!" Gollum quivered.
"I thought they where dead!" Aragorn shook.
"Dead, no you cannot kill them precious can not kill them." Gollum muttered "Wraiths, wraiths on wings, they are calling for us, they are calling for the precioussss."
Frodo began to grope at the ring on his chest. "Frodo, it's alright, they can't see us." Aragorn whispered urgently. The wraith then flew off.
"Hurry hobbits, the gate is very clossse" Gollum urged leading them out of the bush.
"I am not a hobbit," Aragorn corrected for what seemed like the millionth time.
Meanwhile the three travelers where stumbling through Fangorn in search of their friends. "Thistles in my hair, branches cutting my face.This is no place for an elf!"
"Don't you mean thistles in your beard, oh master dwarf?" Sam giggled before ripping over a tree root.
"I am still an elf. at heart at least, and is that not enough." Legolas replied sweetly.
"Oh please not more poetry, I do not need to hear more elf poetry." Gimli cried covering his ears.
"Why not it's beautiful?" Legolas asked before jumping into one of his own works.
"The tree's shine gold,
but they aren't old.
I see them from my window. Umm, what rhythms with window?"
"One more rhythm, limerick or sweet little tune and I shall ruin you teeth by gnawing on these here trees." Gimli warned.
Legolas was still trapped in his little world.
"O, the Beavers knaw
They paw paw paw
And."
"That's it, say good bye pretty whites!" Gimli began to chomp on one of the trees. "Ewww!" He yelped spitting o the bark out. "Orc blood." He shudderd.
"Oh yuck, not with my teeth, not with my teeth, ewwwe." Legolas screamed, jumping around like a little girl who had just caught sight of a spider.
"Um, Gimli how exactly do you know what orc blood tastes like?" Sam asked as he tried to calm Legolas down.
"Long story," Gimli paused. "It started with my great grandfather's birthday. You see my aunt made the cake, and she's never been a very good cook."
"That's okay, I already get the idea." Sam stopped him.
Legolas had stopped bouncing around and was pukeing in a nearby bush. "Hello, these are strange tracks?"
"What are?" Sam asked.
"Those." Legolas replied pointing out some long trenches in the ground. He began to wipe his beard off using a big leaf.
"The air is close in here." Gimli commented taking in a deep breath.
"Well this forest is very old. Stupid." Legolas retorted. Suddenly the leaf he was using snapped away and a set of groans filled the air. "It's full of memory. and anger."
"Hahaha, sucks to be you," Gimli laughed "Hehehe my people cut these woods down for centuries, their probably after dwarfs."
"But I'm not a dwarf!" Legolas yelped.
"They don't know that." Gimli giggled. "A branch suddenly swiped at him. He raised his axe in defense.
"They are speaking to each other." Legolas quailed closing his eyes in fear.
"Gimli" Sam whispered urgently.
"Huh?" Gimli asked.
"Lower your axe" Sam pleaded.
"Oh, ahem, yes of course." Gimli blushed a deep red, a color that badly clashed with his pink hair.
"Sam," Legolas squeaked. "nad nâ ennas!"
"What!?" Sam asked, "I don't speak elvish." Oh, yeah right." Legolas blushed and even deeper shade then Gimli. "Something is out there."
"What do you see?" Sam asked.
"The white wizard!!" Legolas whimpered. "He approaches!"
Ohhh too bad, you will have to wait till the next chapter for Gandalf's return, and Theoden and Eowyn. I am going to have so much fun with those characters (Cackles evilly).
Disclaimer: All I own is the idea of them switching bodies (I don't even own the Legolas take off; other writers did the whole Nancy elf thing before me, waaahhh)
10. Finally another Chapter, I told you I could do it!!!!!!!!!!!
After many hours of useless traveling Frodo found him self drawn to the pools, "We see why you wanted to reach them, precioussss we do." He hissed. Aragorn made a revolted face before jogging to the front. "I little tassssste perhapsssss, like elf soup. Aragorn began to bang his head on his sword hilt and blathering insane gibberish. "Hmmm, a taste, yes just a taste." Frodo then dived headlong into the pool.
"Frodo, What in Mordor do you think you are doing!!???" Aragorn yelled, halting his head bashing. "Gollum you useless piece of flesh, grab him!!!"
"Yesss nice hobbits, we grabs him, we grabs him good!" Gollum hissed reaching into the water and grabbing the ring bearer.
"Gahh, get off me! He tries to take in from us he does, kills him we must!!!" Frodo yelped when he noticed who his rescuer was.
Gollum hissed in his face and showed his pointy fangs, "Don't go near the lights!!" he screeched before crawling to the front.
"You will be the death of me, I said it once, I shall say it a million times," Aragorn sighed helping a still shaking Frodo to his feet.
That evening Frodo could not sleep, he watched the Gollum creature rocking and muttering on a nearby rock. "Want it, we wants it, can't have it, but want it, ohh how badly we want it.."
The sound of his blathering grew too much to bear. "Shut UP!!!!!" Frodo yelled.
Aragorn opened one eye "Yes shut up, both of you just shut up." He then turned over and went back to sleep.
Frodo crept up behind Gollum and drew Sting from its sheath. Gollum looked up and tuned to the Ring Bearer. "Master should be sleeping, master needs his sleep." He hissed.
"Need my sleep!!! You shall kill us it our sleep, we shunt sleep!" Frodo screeched.
"Shut up, shut up shut up!!!!!" Aragorn cried covering his ears in vain hope. Suddenly a horrific scream filled the air. "I said SHUT UP!!" Aragorn screamed back.
Gollum began to whimper uncontrollably, 'Gahh, hide hide!!" "Black riders, they search for us!!" Frodo yelped before flinging himself under a bush he felt his chest burn in pain.
"They shall see us, they shall se us!" Gollum quivered.
"I thought they where dead!" Aragorn shook.
"Dead, no you cannot kill them precious can not kill them." Gollum muttered "Wraiths, wraiths on wings, they are calling for us, they are calling for the precioussss."
Frodo began to grope at the ring on his chest. "Frodo, it's alright, they can't see us." Aragorn whispered urgently. The wraith then flew off.
"Hurry hobbits, the gate is very clossse" Gollum urged leading them out of the bush.
"I am not a hobbit," Aragorn corrected for what seemed like the millionth time.
Meanwhile the three travelers where stumbling through Fangorn in search of their friends. "Thistles in my hair, branches cutting my face.This is no place for an elf!"
"Don't you mean thistles in your beard, oh master dwarf?" Sam giggled before ripping over a tree root.
"I am still an elf. at heart at least, and is that not enough." Legolas replied sweetly.
"Oh please not more poetry, I do not need to hear more elf poetry." Gimli cried covering his ears.
"Why not it's beautiful?" Legolas asked before jumping into one of his own works.
"The tree's shine gold,
but they aren't old.
I see them from my window. Umm, what rhythms with window?"
"One more rhythm, limerick or sweet little tune and I shall ruin you teeth by gnawing on these here trees." Gimli warned.
Legolas was still trapped in his little world.
"O, the Beavers knaw
They paw paw paw
And."
"That's it, say good bye pretty whites!" Gimli began to chomp on one of the trees. "Ewww!" He yelped spitting o the bark out. "Orc blood." He shudderd.
"Oh yuck, not with my teeth, not with my teeth, ewwwe." Legolas screamed, jumping around like a little girl who had just caught sight of a spider.
"Um, Gimli how exactly do you know what orc blood tastes like?" Sam asked as he tried to calm Legolas down.
"Long story," Gimli paused. "It started with my great grandfather's birthday. You see my aunt made the cake, and she's never been a very good cook."
"That's okay, I already get the idea." Sam stopped him.
Legolas had stopped bouncing around and was pukeing in a nearby bush. "Hello, these are strange tracks?"
"What are?" Sam asked.
"Those." Legolas replied pointing out some long trenches in the ground. He began to wipe his beard off using a big leaf.
"The air is close in here." Gimli commented taking in a deep breath.
"Well this forest is very old. Stupid." Legolas retorted. Suddenly the leaf he was using snapped away and a set of groans filled the air. "It's full of memory. and anger."
"Hahaha, sucks to be you," Gimli laughed "Hehehe my people cut these woods down for centuries, their probably after dwarfs."
"But I'm not a dwarf!" Legolas yelped.
"They don't know that." Gimli giggled. "A branch suddenly swiped at him. He raised his axe in defense.
"They are speaking to each other." Legolas quailed closing his eyes in fear.
"Gimli" Sam whispered urgently.
"Huh?" Gimli asked.
"Lower your axe" Sam pleaded.
"Oh, ahem, yes of course." Gimli blushed a deep red, a color that badly clashed with his pink hair.
"Sam," Legolas squeaked. "nad nâ ennas!"
"What!?" Sam asked, "I don't speak elvish." Oh, yeah right." Legolas blushed and even deeper shade then Gimli. "Something is out there."
"What do you see?" Sam asked.
"The white wizard!!" Legolas whimpered. "He approaches!"
Ohhh too bad, you will have to wait till the next chapter for Gandalf's return, and Theoden and Eowyn. I am going to have so much fun with those characters (Cackles evilly).