Disclaimer: I own nothing!
The song in this chapter is "Changes" By 3 Doors Down. This story is also based on this song!
Thanks to Brain Tumor.com for the research I did on this story!
Rose pulled Bosco into a quick hug as he cried at the entrance of her apartment. The words hit her like a tone of bricks. "Maurice, what do you mean?" She pulled him all the way in and shut the door.
He pushed her away and sat down on the couch. "The doctor is giving me 3 weeks to 3 months to live. The tumor is too big."
"There are no treatments they can give you?"
Bosco rubbed the tears out of his eyes. "No. They said that the treatments they have aren't powerful enough to stop this tumor. I waited too long to go to the doctor, that's the whole reason this is happening."
Rose sat beside him. "What do you mean by that Maurice?"
"I mean that I knew something was wrong with me for a long time, I was just too stubborn to go get checked out. If they would've caught this early they probably could have removed it." He stared into her eyes. "Mom, what am I gonna do?"
Rose ran her fingers over his soft hair. "This is hard for me to say Maurice but I'm gonna say it. You need to make the best of these weeks you have left. Make peace with everyone. Just be a good person."
Bosco nodded. "I haven't told Faith yet."
Rose's eyes filled with tears. "Why not?" Her voice cracked. She couldn't believe her son was dying. He wasn't supposed to die before her. She wasn't sure how she was going to live without him here. He was everything to her.
"I'm not sure how to tell her."
"Just tell her the truth. There is nothing else to say. She'll understand."
~~
Bosco knocked on Faith's apartment the next day before going into work. Emily greeted him at the door. "You need mom?"
"Uh, yeah." Bosco nodded and entered the cozy Yokas home. He watched as Faith walked down the hallway, a knot forming in his stomach as he thought about telling her.
"Boz, what are you doing here?"
He looked at Emily and Charlie who were watching a music video on the couch. He swallowed hard and looked back at Faith who had a smile across her face.
"Faith, I just came by to see if you needed a ride. It's kinda hot out there today." The words of the tumor were on the tip of his tongue but for some reason he couldn't force them out.
"Sure, I guess I could use a ride. How you feeling today?"
"Never better." He gave a fake smile and followed her out of the apartment.
~~
"Does Swersky still have you working a desk?" Faith followed him up the stairs to the locker room.
"Yeah, that damn doctor still hasn't released me. I don't know why either, I'm feeling great."
"Just precautionary I guess. I'll see you later okay?" Faith opened the locker room door, feeling like something just wasn't right with the way Bosco had been acting towards her. She greeted Sully and Davis and began changing.
"You guys notice anything different about Bosco lately?" She looked at them through the mirror as she pinned her hair back out of her face.
Davis tied his left boot and looked up at her. "No, but I haven't really seen him around lately. Is he still working the desk?"
"Yeah. He says he feels fine and stuff but he just seems weird. Hell, I don't know, could be my imagination."
Sully thought of a million jokes to say to that but he decided now wasn't the best time to say them. "I'm sure he's okay Faith." He patted her shoulder and walked to roll call.
~~
Bosco waited as Davis walked out of the precinct doors at 11:15. He approached him the parking lot. "Hey man, you wanna go for a drink or something at Haggerty's?"
"Sure man. I need to talk to you anyway."
Bosco's stomach jolted. "About what?"
"Faith's worried about you man. She says that you have been acting different lately."
Bosco looked down at the sidewalk and kicked a small rock down the road. "Oh does she? I'm fine. I'm just a little confused right now."
Davis stopped walking and looked at the smaller, yet more experienced cop in front of him. "Just tell me what is going on. I won't tell Faith. We are buddies, let it out."
Bosco leaned against a light pole on the side of the street and watched as two girls walked past them. "Davis, I'm dying." He looked up at what little stars he could see in the sky above him.
"Dying? What do you mean?"
"I have a brain tumor. It is too big to remove or treat. The doctor gave me a maximum of three months to live. I just can't find a way to tell her. We are so close that it'll hurt her."
They both grew silent, as they stood on a sidewalk busy with people, though now it seemed empty. Bosco continued to lean against the pole.
"Say something Davis."
"I...I'm not sure what to say. Here you are hitting me with something that is so dramatic. I'm not sure how to handle this."
"Try being in the doctor's office when he told me. Try being in my shoes." Bosco pointed at his own chest. "This is no field trip for me Davis."
"I never said it was. You NEED to tell Faith. You say it's going to hurt her if you tell her right?"
Bosco nodded, "Right."
"Well, what if you die tonight, and she never knew. You are going to leave this world having Faith thinking that you lied to her. You don't need that. Not Faith. She's too important to you. Do you get what I'm saying?"
Bosco began to walk once more. "It's not that easy Ty."
"What's so hard about it? I mean, you told me didn't you? Just do the same to her."
"It isn't the same Ty. She's been my partner for 9 years now. I can't explain it." He sat down on a park bench after becoming winded from the walking. "Ty, when I need you, are you going to be here for me?"
"Of course man." Ty noticed the sudden mood change in Bosco's behavior. He figured it must've been something to do with the tumor.
~~
Faith and Fred sat on the couch and watched "Coyote Ugly" while the kids were asleep. Faith's mind wasn't on the movie though. Fred interrupted her thoughts.
"You know, there is one good thing from this movie."
"What's that?"
"Those girls dancing on the bar. That's nice."
Faith stood up. "I'm going to bed okay?" Knocking on the door echoed through the apartment. "Who could that be?" She walked to the door; relieved Bosco was standing in the threshold. "Boz?"
"Faith, can we talk?" He looked in and noticed Fred on the couch. "Or better yet, can you go for a walk with me? I need to tell you something."
"Sure. Let me put on a different shirt. I'll be right back." She turned and faced Fred. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I'll be back later okay?"
~~
She stared at Bosco as they made there way to the nearest neighborhood park. "So, are you gonna talk or am I gonna have to read your mind?" Faith smiled and sat down on a swing.
His heart began to beat out of his chest as he looked at her on the swing. "Faith, I..." He trailed off.
"You? You what?"
Tears filled his eyes. "Faith, I lied to you about what happened at the hospital."
She got off of the swing and stood beside him. "How did you lie?"
"Faith, I have a brain tumor. The question isn't IF I'm going to die, the question is WHEN I will die." He stared at her, his face now soaked from the salty tears falling from his eyes. He could tell his words hit her hard.
"What?" Her voice cracked as she sat down on the dirt beneath them. He sat down beside her and pulled her into a hug.
"The doctors can't remove it. The most they gave me to live was 3 months. I just couldn't find a way to tell you, please forgive me." He felt her tears soak through his shirt.
"I'm not mad Bosco. I'm not mad. I'm so sorry this is happening to you."
He looked her in the eyes. "Don't be sorry Faith. This is my destiny. This was what God had planned for me. It was all planned before I was even born. So don't be sorry."
She had never heard Bosco talk like that before. He had never mentioned God or destiny or anything haunting like that.
"Bosco, I'm not sure what to say to you."
"Don't say anything." They sat in the middle of the park for so long. They both lost track of time as they sat there in silence, their thoughts on different things that the future held for both of them.
~~
Bosco met Faith at work the next day. "Hey Faith. Today at roll call I'm gonna tell everyone. They need to know."
She gave a small smile. "Yes, they do."
~~
Bosco stared at everyone, his fellow co-workers and friends. He gripped the sides of the podium and swallowed hard as he looked at everyone. He coughed to clear his throat and began.
"You guys are probably wondering why I'm up here instead of Swersky. No, I didn't get promoted. You guys think I would ever get promoted?" He heard some laughter. "Anyway, back to the reason I'm up here. You probably already know that I was taken into the hospital the other day. Well, while I was there they told me that I have a brain tumor, and that I only have a few months to live. I just thought it would be appropriate to tell all of you since we have worked together so long. I'm not telling you guys this so you can feel sorry for me, I'm telling you this because you are all my friends, and you all needed to know. Thank you, for being in my life. I'm still going to come into work until I can't get out of bed anymore so don't think you are getting rid of me just yet. You guys stay safe out there." He stood down from the podium and shook Swersky's hand. "Thanks, for letting me do that."
The roll call room fell silent as Bosco walked out. Faith walked out after him in the hallway.
"That was good Bosco."
"I just said what I meant. I've never been this emotional before. The doctor told me the tumor would change me. I guess instead of an arrogant ass I'm a sympathetic wimp now." He smiled.
She pulled him into a hug. "I'm here for you Bosco."
She heard him give out a small cry. "Faith, I'm scared to die."
Three Doors Down
Changes
I'm not supposed to be scared of anything
But I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted
And nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now
But there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to
And the pain inside is making me numb
I try to hold this, under control
They can't help me, cause no one knows
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
Feeling weak and weary
Walking through this world alone
Everything they say, every word of it
Cuts me to the bone, (and I bleed)
I've got something to say
But now I've got nowhere to turn
It feels like I've been buried
Underneath the weight of the world
I try to hold this, under control
They can't help me, cause no one knows
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
I'm blind and shaking bound and breaking
I hope I'll make it through all these changes
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated, lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it
But I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
And I get suffocated I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes
TBC......
The song in this chapter is "Changes" By 3 Doors Down. This story is also based on this song!
Thanks to Brain Tumor.com for the research I did on this story!
Rose pulled Bosco into a quick hug as he cried at the entrance of her apartment. The words hit her like a tone of bricks. "Maurice, what do you mean?" She pulled him all the way in and shut the door.
He pushed her away and sat down on the couch. "The doctor is giving me 3 weeks to 3 months to live. The tumor is too big."
"There are no treatments they can give you?"
Bosco rubbed the tears out of his eyes. "No. They said that the treatments they have aren't powerful enough to stop this tumor. I waited too long to go to the doctor, that's the whole reason this is happening."
Rose sat beside him. "What do you mean by that Maurice?"
"I mean that I knew something was wrong with me for a long time, I was just too stubborn to go get checked out. If they would've caught this early they probably could have removed it." He stared into her eyes. "Mom, what am I gonna do?"
Rose ran her fingers over his soft hair. "This is hard for me to say Maurice but I'm gonna say it. You need to make the best of these weeks you have left. Make peace with everyone. Just be a good person."
Bosco nodded. "I haven't told Faith yet."
Rose's eyes filled with tears. "Why not?" Her voice cracked. She couldn't believe her son was dying. He wasn't supposed to die before her. She wasn't sure how she was going to live without him here. He was everything to her.
"I'm not sure how to tell her."
"Just tell her the truth. There is nothing else to say. She'll understand."
~~
Bosco knocked on Faith's apartment the next day before going into work. Emily greeted him at the door. "You need mom?"
"Uh, yeah." Bosco nodded and entered the cozy Yokas home. He watched as Faith walked down the hallway, a knot forming in his stomach as he thought about telling her.
"Boz, what are you doing here?"
He looked at Emily and Charlie who were watching a music video on the couch. He swallowed hard and looked back at Faith who had a smile across her face.
"Faith, I just came by to see if you needed a ride. It's kinda hot out there today." The words of the tumor were on the tip of his tongue but for some reason he couldn't force them out.
"Sure, I guess I could use a ride. How you feeling today?"
"Never better." He gave a fake smile and followed her out of the apartment.
~~
"Does Swersky still have you working a desk?" Faith followed him up the stairs to the locker room.
"Yeah, that damn doctor still hasn't released me. I don't know why either, I'm feeling great."
"Just precautionary I guess. I'll see you later okay?" Faith opened the locker room door, feeling like something just wasn't right with the way Bosco had been acting towards her. She greeted Sully and Davis and began changing.
"You guys notice anything different about Bosco lately?" She looked at them through the mirror as she pinned her hair back out of her face.
Davis tied his left boot and looked up at her. "No, but I haven't really seen him around lately. Is he still working the desk?"
"Yeah. He says he feels fine and stuff but he just seems weird. Hell, I don't know, could be my imagination."
Sully thought of a million jokes to say to that but he decided now wasn't the best time to say them. "I'm sure he's okay Faith." He patted her shoulder and walked to roll call.
~~
Bosco waited as Davis walked out of the precinct doors at 11:15. He approached him the parking lot. "Hey man, you wanna go for a drink or something at Haggerty's?"
"Sure man. I need to talk to you anyway."
Bosco's stomach jolted. "About what?"
"Faith's worried about you man. She says that you have been acting different lately."
Bosco looked down at the sidewalk and kicked a small rock down the road. "Oh does she? I'm fine. I'm just a little confused right now."
Davis stopped walking and looked at the smaller, yet more experienced cop in front of him. "Just tell me what is going on. I won't tell Faith. We are buddies, let it out."
Bosco leaned against a light pole on the side of the street and watched as two girls walked past them. "Davis, I'm dying." He looked up at what little stars he could see in the sky above him.
"Dying? What do you mean?"
"I have a brain tumor. It is too big to remove or treat. The doctor gave me a maximum of three months to live. I just can't find a way to tell her. We are so close that it'll hurt her."
They both grew silent, as they stood on a sidewalk busy with people, though now it seemed empty. Bosco continued to lean against the pole.
"Say something Davis."
"I...I'm not sure what to say. Here you are hitting me with something that is so dramatic. I'm not sure how to handle this."
"Try being in the doctor's office when he told me. Try being in my shoes." Bosco pointed at his own chest. "This is no field trip for me Davis."
"I never said it was. You NEED to tell Faith. You say it's going to hurt her if you tell her right?"
Bosco nodded, "Right."
"Well, what if you die tonight, and she never knew. You are going to leave this world having Faith thinking that you lied to her. You don't need that. Not Faith. She's too important to you. Do you get what I'm saying?"
Bosco began to walk once more. "It's not that easy Ty."
"What's so hard about it? I mean, you told me didn't you? Just do the same to her."
"It isn't the same Ty. She's been my partner for 9 years now. I can't explain it." He sat down on a park bench after becoming winded from the walking. "Ty, when I need you, are you going to be here for me?"
"Of course man." Ty noticed the sudden mood change in Bosco's behavior. He figured it must've been something to do with the tumor.
~~
Faith and Fred sat on the couch and watched "Coyote Ugly" while the kids were asleep. Faith's mind wasn't on the movie though. Fred interrupted her thoughts.
"You know, there is one good thing from this movie."
"What's that?"
"Those girls dancing on the bar. That's nice."
Faith stood up. "I'm going to bed okay?" Knocking on the door echoed through the apartment. "Who could that be?" She walked to the door; relieved Bosco was standing in the threshold. "Boz?"
"Faith, can we talk?" He looked in and noticed Fred on the couch. "Or better yet, can you go for a walk with me? I need to tell you something."
"Sure. Let me put on a different shirt. I'll be right back." She turned and faced Fred. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I'll be back later okay?"
~~
She stared at Bosco as they made there way to the nearest neighborhood park. "So, are you gonna talk or am I gonna have to read your mind?" Faith smiled and sat down on a swing.
His heart began to beat out of his chest as he looked at her on the swing. "Faith, I..." He trailed off.
"You? You what?"
Tears filled his eyes. "Faith, I lied to you about what happened at the hospital."
She got off of the swing and stood beside him. "How did you lie?"
"Faith, I have a brain tumor. The question isn't IF I'm going to die, the question is WHEN I will die." He stared at her, his face now soaked from the salty tears falling from his eyes. He could tell his words hit her hard.
"What?" Her voice cracked as she sat down on the dirt beneath them. He sat down beside her and pulled her into a hug.
"The doctors can't remove it. The most they gave me to live was 3 months. I just couldn't find a way to tell you, please forgive me." He felt her tears soak through his shirt.
"I'm not mad Bosco. I'm not mad. I'm so sorry this is happening to you."
He looked her in the eyes. "Don't be sorry Faith. This is my destiny. This was what God had planned for me. It was all planned before I was even born. So don't be sorry."
She had never heard Bosco talk like that before. He had never mentioned God or destiny or anything haunting like that.
"Bosco, I'm not sure what to say to you."
"Don't say anything." They sat in the middle of the park for so long. They both lost track of time as they sat there in silence, their thoughts on different things that the future held for both of them.
~~
Bosco met Faith at work the next day. "Hey Faith. Today at roll call I'm gonna tell everyone. They need to know."
She gave a small smile. "Yes, they do."
~~
Bosco stared at everyone, his fellow co-workers and friends. He gripped the sides of the podium and swallowed hard as he looked at everyone. He coughed to clear his throat and began.
"You guys are probably wondering why I'm up here instead of Swersky. No, I didn't get promoted. You guys think I would ever get promoted?" He heard some laughter. "Anyway, back to the reason I'm up here. You probably already know that I was taken into the hospital the other day. Well, while I was there they told me that I have a brain tumor, and that I only have a few months to live. I just thought it would be appropriate to tell all of you since we have worked together so long. I'm not telling you guys this so you can feel sorry for me, I'm telling you this because you are all my friends, and you all needed to know. Thank you, for being in my life. I'm still going to come into work until I can't get out of bed anymore so don't think you are getting rid of me just yet. You guys stay safe out there." He stood down from the podium and shook Swersky's hand. "Thanks, for letting me do that."
The roll call room fell silent as Bosco walked out. Faith walked out after him in the hallway.
"That was good Bosco."
"I just said what I meant. I've never been this emotional before. The doctor told me the tumor would change me. I guess instead of an arrogant ass I'm a sympathetic wimp now." He smiled.
She pulled him into a hug. "I'm here for you Bosco."
She heard him give out a small cry. "Faith, I'm scared to die."
Three Doors Down
Changes
I'm not supposed to be scared of anything
But I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted
And nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now
But there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to
And the pain inside is making me numb
I try to hold this, under control
They can't help me, cause no one knows
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
Feeling weak and weary
Walking through this world alone
Everything they say, every word of it
Cuts me to the bone, (and I bleed)
I've got something to say
But now I've got nowhere to turn
It feels like I've been buried
Underneath the weight of the world
I try to hold this, under control
They can't help me, cause no one knows
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
I'm blind and shaking bound and breaking
I hope I'll make it through all these changes
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated, lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it
But I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
And I get suffocated I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes
TBC......